Thursday, June 09, 2005

Dr. Akeith Responds

Here it is, folks. The moment that y'all have all waited for, Dr. Akeith Speaks!

Here we go....

Letter #1

Dear Dr. Akeith:

Ok. So, I am seeing this guy who seems to be really interested and everything seems to be going great. Well, he all of sudden tells me that he wants to take things slow. He said that he recently (about 3 months ago) got out of a serious relationship and he just doesn't want to rush into anything, but even though he told me this nothing has seemed to changed. As a matter of fact HE seems to be taking things faster. Like, asking if I want to go to family functions with him, telling me he misses me when I am not there, calling me just cause he was thinking about me, planning trips months in advance for just the two of us, and wanting to spend all of his waking time with me (which, by the way I do not mind and am not complaining about). So, what is his deal, Dr. Akeith. Could you please explain to me what is going on in his mind.

Anonymous :)

The Doctor is IN!


Well, Ms. Anonymous, let's dissect this issue by addressing each scenario. First things are going great, but he suddenly wants to take things slow. This is a common tactic used in Article 221 of the Player's Manual: "Sweep said victim off her feet and to make sure you keep the upper hand in the relationship, always keep the "Big Joker". For those of you who don't play cards, this ensures the player the victory. This card is played if things go sour or he finds a finer piece of tail.

Remember he warned you in the beginning that he wanted to take things slow and that he just got out of a relationship "three months ago". Only believe the first thirty seconds of what a player says. Of course, he is carrying on like nothing has changed, because of the benefits that you are dropping on him.

And as far as calling and planning trips months in advance, planning a trip is one thing, but buying the ticket is another.

Letter #2

To Dr. Akeith,

Hi! I hope you can help with this problem Dr. Akeith. It all started at my job, I work with two guys that are “Close Friends” but I have a feeling it’s more. They do everything together (eat lunch, go out together after work, dress alike, and etc). One of the guys stays in his office and doesn’t leave unless the other guy calls to his area were he works, however neither of them have a girlfriend or show interest in women. But if someone talks about one of them, the other one takes up as though they are a couple or married. Also if one chooses not to do something or disagrees the other take sides with him. I try to tell myself that are just best friends but this issue is beginning to be really serious. So could you help me understand what is going with these two guys?

Thanks,
Concerned Co-worker

The Doctor is IN!


To Concerned Co-worker,
It is obvious that these two boys like baseball. One likes to pitch while the other catches, if you know what I mean. These guys seem to have the purrrrfect relationship that most women would kill for. I mean, they do everything together and it seems that they have each other's asses backs, no matter what.

So, Concerned Co-worker, don't send yourself into total brain-freeze trying to figure this one out, because these two guys have found the secret to a flawless relationship. Let's just hope they don't have a secret recipe for this behavior and decide to market it, because it will be bad news for men and women Nationwide.

Keep those letters coming, folks.
.

6 comments:

Imara said...

Two Dogs, I think you might have been a 'brotha' in a past life. ...Which makes your positions in this life even more baffling! :)

Two Dogs said...

Hell, Imara, I am a brotha in this life. These answers are not mine. Dr. Akeith is a real guy and I work with him. I deserve no credit.

Imara said...

Hell, Imara, I am a brotha in this life.

Mmhmm...Okayyyyy

Pam said...

Such sage advice. When will Dr. Akeith get his own daytime television show?

Two Dogs said...

Pam, Dr. Akeith is not interested in the fame and fortune of television. He only wishes to help those in need. 'Cause that's how he rolls.

Anonymous said...

you hate negroes named Teddy

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