Saturday, November 18, 2006

Kuh-Leese Blows!



I honestly have had the most unfortunate experience of my life this morning. I actually heard the "song" from Kelis called "Bossy." I would rather have someone run a block plane up my shinbone than have to actually hear another one of those hits.

Anyhoo, since this song is so damn popular with the crowd that has absolutely no musical sense (which is obviously a huge number of dillweeds) I thought that I would sit down and get to know the folks that put together this crap.

The first interview that I held was with the genius behind the lyrical content. I caught up with him while he was flying to the MTV Europe Awards with Kanye. Needless to say, that went poorly. As far as I can tell, all he could actually say was, "Diamonds on my neck, di-diamonds on my grill." Wonder where that shit came from?






The next talent that I could get in touch with was the dude in charge of the "music." I actually walked in while he was laying down the last track of his next smash hit. I am afraid that I will never be the same. And the facial tics are damn irritating.













And now, I leave you with the lyrics. Please stop buying this crap. Please.

Aye Yo... You don't have to love me..... you don't even have to like me...... but you will respect me........

you know why cause Im a boss

Uh uh... watch the beat go...
Uh uh... watch the beat go...
Uh uh... watch the beat go...
Uh uh... watch that beat go...

[Kelis]
I'm bossy
I'm the first girl to scream on a track
I switched up the beat of the drum
That's right i brought all the boys to the yard
And that's right, i'm the one that's tattooed on his arm
I'm bossy
I'm the b!tch y'all love to hate
I'm the chick that's raised the stakes
I told young stunna he should switch debate
I'm back with an 808 cause i'm bossy

Ooh lemme slow it down so ya can catch the flow
Screw it up make it go extra slow
Real girls get down on the flo
(on the flo get down, on the flo)
Ooh i gave you a taste you want some more
Touch down lemme do it up like a pro
I ride the beat like a bicycle, I'm icy cold
Ooh from the 6-4 hoppers up in crenshaw
The money makin playas up in harlem
Don't want no problems
We gon keep it pumpin while the 808 is jumpin

Diamonds on my neck, di-diamonds on my grill
Diamonds on my neck, di-diamonds on my grill

I'm bossy
I'm the first girl to scream on a track
I switched up the beat of the drum
That's right i brought all the boys to the yard
And that's right, i'm the one that's tattooed on his arm
I'm bossy
I'm the b!tch y'all love to hate
I'm the chick that's raised the stakes
I told john sterling he should switch to BAPE
I'm back with an 808 cause i'm bossy

Ooh (i bet i bet i bet) i bet cha neva heard it like this before
My baby be closin'them phantom doors
Got the bar poppin this that you can't afford (can't afford)
Ooh i'm drinkin blastin the crowds it's all smokin
All the while i'm all open
Me and my girls we stay fly and we love to stay high
Ooh from the 6-4 hoppers up in crenshaw
To the money makin playas up in harlem
Don't want no problems
We gon keep it pumpin while the 808 is jumpin

Diamonds on my neck, di-diamonds on my grill
Diamonds on my neck, di-diamonds on my grill

I'm bossy
I'm the first girl to scream on a track
I switched up the beat of the drum
That's right i brought all the boys to the yard
And that's right i'm the one that's tattooed on his arm
I'm bossy
I'm the b!tch ya'll love to hate
I'm the chick that's raised the stakes
I told young stunna he should switch to BAPE
I'm back with an 808 cause i'm bossy

[Too $hort]
It's bout time that she get with me
Can't stop starin, she's fine and she's pretty
Damn girl, don't hurt em
don't bite back, you gon work em
Put your mack down, i know your background
Whatchu want girl, you gettin mad now
That's how you do it, huh?
Well i'm the coolest one
In fact, bitches in the back bring em to the front, bitch!
Tell that man you's a boss bitch
Make some noise, raise your hand if you's a boss bitch
I don't think he understand you's a boss bitch
Get some help if you can cause he lost it
Ain't no refunds, she spent the cash mayne
In your benz with her friends in the fast lane
Flossin, you say "how much it cost me?"
About a million dollars playa, she's bossy

[Kelis]
I'm bossy
I'm the first girl to scream on a track
I switched up the beat of the drum
That's right i brought all the boys to the yard
And that's right i'm the one that's tattooed on his arm
I'm bossy
I'm the b!tch y'all love to hate
I'm the chick that's raised the stakes
I told john sterling he should switch to BAPE
I'm back with an 808 cause i'm bossy

Uh uh... watch the beat go...
Uh uh... watch the beat go...
Uh uh... watch the beat go...
Uh uh... watch the beat go...
Uh uh... watch the beat go...
Uh uh... watch the beat go...
Uh uh... watch the beat go...
Uh uh... watch the beat go...
Uh uh...

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