More Jawing About Candidates

I am just not enthused at all about the upcoming Presidential election. I do know that chances are really, really good that I will not vote for a Democrat. Geez, have you ever seen a more dense set of morons? Here's a quick rundown of those losers:

Clinton? Do I need to say anything about her? Okay, she is one of the sleaziest people ever to run for office. She has never uttered one single thing that is the truth.

Obama? A Black Supremacist that has the farthest Leftwing ties of the bunch. If elected, we'll hear only about wealth redistribution for the entire length of his term. Might as well be a Klan member.

Kucinich and Gravel? Nutcases that have all of their ideas rooted in the subversive elements that made the Sixties the shittiest period in our Nation's history.

Dodd and Biden? Lifetime politicians that only want to get personal wealth from your tax money. Both have a stupefying ability to make lots of money for themselves and family by doing nothing of any consequence. Good waste of subpar DNA.

Edwards? Britney Spears as a man. As dense as a bag of hammers and equally as engaging. I cannot imagine that there is one single human that could stand looking at him for more than six seconds, that includes his wife.

Richardson? Obviously the most articulate and well defined ideas of the whole bunch. He possesses the intelligence of a bag of grapes, but compared to the rest, he looks like the smartest man in the world.

Republicans? Who?

Giuliani? I got nothing. Pro-abortion, yeah. *Yawn*

Huckabee? This is bad, but I do not want another Arkansas Governor as President ever again. There is a history of corruption from that state. Stereotyping? Yeah, I guess.

McCain? The Edwards of the Republican Party, no, wait, the Biden/Dodd of the Republican Party. No, wait, I have no idea what this guy believes from day-to-day. I am as sick of him as I am of the Clintons.

Ron Paul? I can't even just type his last name. It's like you have to say, "RonPaul." The fact that he is an Internet spammer did it for me. *Spins finger around side of head and makes the whistling sound*

Tancredo? Says exactly what he means. Unelectable because of the negative press he is bound to get. The media will probably kidnap him, drug him, and then kill a small child to photograph in bed with him simply to kill his chances.

Mitt Romney? If you think for one damn second that he got elected ANYTHING in Massachusetts without the Kennedy clan giving him the greenlight to even run, you are a moron.

Thompson? He ain't Reagan and he's trying to be. Wears open collar shirts and that turkey neck thing drives me batshit.

Hunter? The best ideas of the bunch. But, not one single person knows who he is.

So far, the only thing that is even keeping my interest in this campaign is the fact that Elaine Brown is running as a Green Party candidate. I think that her methods of persuasion while running the Panthers would come in handy in getting legislation passed. Only one problem there. She is on the complete opposite end of the ideological spectrum from me and idolizes Castro.

And of course, there IS Wayne Allyn Root, WAR!, the sports handicapper running on the Libertarian Party ticket.

Oh, and take a look at THIS guy. If he doesn't have Arkansas Democrat written all over him, I don't know who does. Oddly enough, HE says exactly what the candidates from the Party of the Stupid believe, too. Read his platform, he IS a Democrat.

Damn, we, the producers, are screwed yet again.