Thursday, July 10, 2008

Here's What I Know About ANWR

Honestly, who gives one fat turd that Jesse Jackson wants to do something with Barry's junk. It won't be the first time that Barry had a man playing with his junk and it damn sure won't be the last. Jesse can cut it off or suck it off, put it in Barry's mouth and spank him all the way around the neighborhood, while wearing a chicken suit, for all I care. But, you know he is not going to do anything to Barry, even if Barry pushed Jesse's mother down in the mud at the clothesline. They are both Democrats and are scared of each other and all other people. Feh, make that story go away, there is no intelligence there and we know it.

But, ANWR, the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, let's look at that. Just so you know, ANWR is about 500 miles northeast of Fairbanks and about half the size of Massachusetts. There is no way to drive there that I can find, unless it is in a floating car with tracks instead of wheels AND possessing the ability to fly. Maybe Arcticman can tell us since he's in Alaska. Even though he is almost six hundred miles from Fairbanks in the absolute opposite direction from ANWR.

What most people fail to understand is that Alaska from its Southern most boundary to its Northern most boundary is about the same distance as it is from the border between Texas and Mexico to the border between North Dakota and Canada. In other words, it's friggin' H-U-G-E. Hell, most people do not even know where Alaska is. Remember, almost 49% of people voted for John Kerry, so almost 49% of people in this country are dumb as a bag of concrete.

Here's where ANWR is. You are never going to see it ever. As a matter of fact, you probably are never going to go to Alaska either, chances are slim. I think that someone lives in ANWR, but they never call me because there are no damn phones North of the border of the Continental United States. (Shut up, you don't know, you've never been there!) But even the weird, masochistic people that live there want to drill for oil on their property. The Federal Government should sit the Hell down and shut the Hell up about drilling in ANWR.

Let's look at the Tenth Amendment: The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

The framers wrote that into the Consitution STRICTLY because of the oil that they knew was in ANWR. And since I do not see one damn mention of Alaska, much less ANWR, in the entire Constitution, I think that we have a MAJOR problem with Congress telling the folks in ANWR what to do with their damn oil.

"But, but, but, Two Dogs, the oil companies are killing all the defenseless animals there!!!11!!!!"

Holy shit, you think that you could quit making that high-pitched squealing noise, there moron?

Yes, we know that the oil companies hate the animals, Moonbeam, WAIT, WHAT THE HELL? Those are damn bears WALKING on the actual pipeline!!!!! Since we really do not know what goes on in the mind of Leftists and neither do they, how the Hell do we know what BEARS are thinking? They might lurve them some oil field equipment.

I say, ANWRians, get to pumping that oil, it's your RIGHT! And do it because bears love oil field stuff.

Please take the time to comment.

6 comments:

Arcticman Speaks! said...

Sorry I'm late responding. The building season's short here and you have to pound nails when the weather cooperates. I've been to Prudhoe Bay, which is next to and exactly like ANWR. To keep this short and concise I'll say that ANWR, like the north slope in general,is without a doubt, a huge vast wasteland with a shitload of oil and gas underneath it. Like Prudhoe, there are caribou in ANWR, but I've seen caribou try their best to walk right into any opening on an oil rig, even the camp front door. They have a very limited fear of human activity. In fact, they'll gather on gravel drilling pads to escape the enormous clouds of mosquitoes that share ANWR with them. Pipelines can be built for them to go under,and caribou will take that route. I've seen it many many times. ANWR is HUGE and the footprint we'd make there would be like placing a pin prick on a wall. The work done to preserve the land at Prudhoe is impressive. Controls and accountability prevent any spill from either happening or not being reported. It's a 30 year history of success, so ANWR is nothing more than a symbolic line in the sand between the Democrats and Republicans. It isn't even that beautiful, except for in the winter, which is ARCTICMAN'S favorite season.

Two Dogs said...

No blood, no foul, Arcticman. I didn't let you know that I was counting on you to respond. Aren't you like 1200 miles from home at Prudhoe Bay?

Oh, and of all the photographs that I could find of ANWR, there was ONE that didn't look like smoldering assholes.

Thanks for the man-on-the-ground interpretation. I'll try to get them started on the drilling.

Arcticman Speaks! said...

You can drive the Dalton Hiway to Prudhoe. It's a long and dangerous endeavor. From Fairbanks it takes a couple of days. There's even a couple of roadhouses along the way. It's easy to follow. Just keep your eye on the big round and long silver thingy.

Two Dogs said...

No blood, no foul, Arcticman. I didn't let you know that I was counting on you to respond. Aren't you like 1200 miles from home at Prudhoe Bay?

Oh, and of all the photographs that I could find of ANWR, there was ONE that didn't look like smoldering assholes.

Thanks for the man-on-the-ground interpretation. I'll try to get them started on the drilling.

Arcticman Speaks! said...

You can drive the Dalton Hiway to Prudhoe. It's a long and dangerous endeavor. From Fairbanks it takes a couple of days. There's even a couple of roadhouses along the way. It's easy to follow. Just keep your eye on the big round and long silver thingy.

Arcticman Speaks! said...

Sorry I'm late responding. The building season's short here and you have to pound nails when the weather cooperates. I've been to Prudhoe Bay, which is next to and exactly like ANWR. To keep this short and concise I'll say that ANWR, like the north slope in general,is without a doubt, a huge vast wasteland with a shitload of oil and gas underneath it. Like Prudhoe, there are caribou in ANWR, but I've seen caribou try their best to walk right into any opening on an oil rig, even the camp front door. They have a very limited fear of human activity. In fact, they'll gather on gravel drilling pads to escape the enormous clouds of mosquitoes that share ANWR with them. Pipelines can be built for them to go under,and caribou will take that route. I've seen it many many times. ANWR is HUGE and the footprint we'd make there would be like placing a pin prick on a wall. The work done to preserve the land at Prudhoe is impressive. Controls and accountability prevent any spill from either happening or not being reported. It's a 30 year history of success, so ANWR is nothing more than a symbolic line in the sand between the Democrats and Republicans. It isn't even that beautiful, except for in the winter, which is ARCTICMAN'S favorite season.

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