Thursday, August 14, 2008

A Quick Check on the Race

No, not McCainiac and Slingblade McMoronity. And this is certainly not about skin color. This is important stuff.

Since I do not watch professional T-Ball until the very end of their season, I peeked in on the standings in the league and noticed something startling. For the twenty-second twenty-THIRD straight year, Kansas City is NOT in the pennant race. Shocker. You are probably thinking, "Now why in the Hell does he know that?" Well, because I am a Cardinals fan and the Royals just happened to beat the Cards in the Series that year.

What is even more strange is that Seattle has topped (bottomed?) them in the cellar, by eight games no less, at 23.5 games back. Griffey and A-Rod must not be hitting this year. Or maybe it's just pitching, wait, no, they don't pitch in the AL, do they?

And I am pretty sure that the Angels have sealed their playoff spot, you know, leading the feckless West by fifteen games. Shit, those guys in the West must not be big enough to reach the top of the tee.

The Jeters of New York are not putting on a show this year, either. Methinks that their moms must have gotten them the wrong-handed glubbs this season. How's "Good Will Hunting" working out for y'all? Is that douche still batting first?

Over in Major League Baseball, we have another tight race looming at the bottom with the Montreal Expos (I think that they are the Washington Washingtons, now)leading the pack at a mere 26 games back, closely followed (led?) by the Padres at 23.5.

The Cardinals, who would be leading the East, are currently 7.5 games back in the Central right now, so I am about to sign off the season. La Russa should be in China right now, eating dicks with Plaschke. Hopefully, they will start to move up the board as the Cubbies start their push for the cellar. I'll keep y'all posted.

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