Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Elizabeth Alexander's Ode to...uh...Yeah...No Clue

In the rush to sound like the MOST stupid moron during the entire festivities yesterday, Elizabeth Alexander read what obviously is a "poem" she wrote while high on mushrooms or something. Honestly, we should close all colleges if this is the best of the best of poetry writers. Watch the video and then see below for my very first attempt at writing poems and see which is better. Her...reading...skills...irritating.




Uh, hem....this is a little ditty entitled,

"Mediocrity is Wholly Attainable"

Whoop...whoop...whoop...YEE...HAW!
I'ms izzies writing da pomes....
Monster truck......
Big. Bigger. Biggest.

Tarrs.

Yippie...KIY...Yay.

Plastic...fantastic...lobster...telephone*

Yes, at one point, I had a job that mattered,
now I just sit and watch my ego grow.

Yale, Harvard, Princeton.

All morons and useless to the man that thinks.

Hopeless morons find their success in another person,

WHILE...THEY...STARVE.

Four years of many beers.

And pasture parties to write off as entertainment expenses.

To...keep...my...earnings...MINE.


Please take the time to comment.

* Ian Astbury - Aphrodisiac Jacket

7 comments:

JJD said...

I know for a fact that I've said more profound shit while buzzed on shrooms. She must have been chosen because her staccato delivery is similar to Obama's.

Two Dogs said...

JJD, that was seriously some irritating delivery. I wanted to fast-forward through it but I was afraid to miss any of Teh Crazee.

No critique on my attempt? Dang.

Coffee Bean said...

That there is some poem Two Dogs. Not only did I watch it yesterday live... I had to watch it again with my husband last night. I did NOT watch it again here.

Two Dogs said...

CB, I shall assume that is a compliment on my awesome po-tree writing skilz. THANKS!

christinajade said...

*sits wearing a beret snapping her fingers*

"man, that is deeeeeep"

Anonymous said...

wow. it isn't that hard to read but i couldn't even watch the whole thing

Two Dogs said...

I am sure that when read, it is only ten times better than this delivery, but you have to remember, she WAS talking to a crowd of morons.

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