Wednesday, March 25, 2009

MLB, Teith Tolbermann, and Maco Mell

In the forty-seven year history of this blog, I have received death threats, I am still alive; I have received hate mail, I am still joyously happy; and NOW, I have received ORDERS to remove content and publish a retraction. Below, you shall find my response to said orders.

SUCK. MY. DICK.

While I have no friggin' clue if the contact was even legitimate, I must respond.

I made a comment like this, "When Teith was fired from ESPN, I figured that he would have to get a job working at Taco Bell. Then I found out MSNBC hired him to do political commentary. What MORONS."

Or maybe it was this one, "What does MLB think will help their traffic on their site? Hiring Teith Tolbermann to BLOG for them. That is just fucking stupid."

Lemme handle the important things first. I eat at Taco Bell regularly. I "enjoy" the food and the price. However, it does NOT take a degree in Rocket Surgery to handle the tasks required to work at Taco Bell. Sorry, it just doesn't. That does NOT mean that I think less of anyone that is employed at Taco Bell and I have had many debates with Bean regarding this and other supposedly menial jobs. I respect anyone that WORKS to support themselves and working at Taco Bell is a job and performing that job is admirable. By the way, the guy that picks up my trash is friggin' awesome. On Tuesdays and Fridays my trash is removed from my home. The man that removes that trash replaces the lid on my garbage can. How COMPETENT is that?

Anyhoo, when your guy (the hypothetical Teith Tolbermann) is all out in front of everyone screeching about how smart he is, offending everyone that possesses an IQ over 80, and just being a typical douchebag, he should expect to be called out for the preceding hiccups in his manners. Calling out douchebags for being douchebags is MY JOB. Granted, it pays LESS than working at Taco Bell, but it is MY JOB.

And since your guy (the hypothetical Teith Tolbermann) did not have the STONES to contact me himself, I award him today's "Morst Merson (Fucktard) in the Morld" Award.

In case you missed it above, SUCK. MY. DICK.

(Yeah, I got the text, ten Hail Marys and ten Our Fathers. Same ol', same ol'.)

And so, I did not watch the Barry concert last night, I read the comments on Twittah instead. Seriously, it was the funniest heckling that I have ever witnessed. "Conservatives" eclipse "Liberals" in the humor department. Here's just a taste.

@KatyinIndy: @pir8gold Thought the Mrs. was the only one in the country NOT getting screwed by BO!

@GEValle: @stephenkruiser He's a disgrace to former ballerinas everywhere.

@DennyWarren: When he says WE, is he talking about the Communist party? Just asking.

@GEValle: Useless Typical Reporter: "Mr. President, if you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?"

@MichiganTaxes: Does anyone else have broken plaster, and a bloody forehead yet?

@d2davidson: What, no TelePrompTer? Unpossible!

There were so many more, I would fill the entire InnerWobblyblegs to the hilt. Folks, y'all are hilarious. I was perpetually amused throughout the whole concert. I salute you. Yes, you are here for my amusement, and you performed admirably. There shall be a little EXTRA on your check next week.

Here's the breakdown of what Barry actually addressed at last night's concert. Typical, tired, old, liberal claptrap. You know, CHANGE according to Barry.

Here's the reaction to Barry's CHANGE from Patrick. Define: niggle - A minor complaint or problem.

Czech head of EU presidency Mirek Topolanek responds to Barry's concert, "Holy SHIT, I get it, NOW! That guy is a moron!" Or something really close to that.

While Barry was performing his greatest hits from Das Kapital, Ass-orney Analeral Eric Holder was informing San Francisco police that they should NOT be investigating Billy Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn because Barry needed them to perform backing vocals at his concerts. Plus, no one shakes a tambourine like Billy.

Since that floozy ice-billy, Sarah Palin, had the temerity to OPPOSE Barry Obama's stupidity, she is now facing legal expenses from frivolous lawsuits filed by libtards. This is the era of post-partisanship, you know.

Odd how Barry always seems to send the wrong letter to the wrong person, huh? To a Communist, in Italy, exact same wording as the one he sent to Chirac. "Smartest man to ever be President."

But, at least we have a new slang cropping up around our president. That spells "CLASS." Barack you.

We interrupt this blog post to insert the word, "MAGMA." (Yes, if you want a link from this blog, casually toss the word "MAGMA" about. Instant linky lurve.)

"When I hear Obama speak about the economy, I feel as if I am listening to a first year economics student at a community college." 'Nuff said.

I absolutely love it when parents make fun of other parent's kids. It gives me joy. In case you were unaware, you too should be homeschooling unless you want your kids to grow up to read The Nation.

In case you want to laugh your ass off, HERE's video of Maxine Waters! Yes, she is a tee-total moron, but there exist people who vote for her. What does that say about them?

Please take the time to comment.

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