Friday, July 31, 2009

BEER! SUMMIT! BEER SUMMIT!

Sorry folks, I have been covered up, but I really appreciate those of you that have been annoying the shit outta me about posting. It was almost like being MARRIED.

Since there is NO news other than four dudes DRINKING BEER at the White House, I thought that I would relay a little story on why you do not do financial business with your friends (that you have known for 25-30 years) that have degrees in finance and shit. Remember, I told y'all that I was going to use The Obamanomics in my personal life, and this is what a successful person that knows a thing or two about building wealth told me.

Me: Hey dude, you suck.

Watermelon Head: You were a great teacher.

Me: I want to open a line of credit to pay off all my outstanding debts.

WH: You have 58k of outstanding debt that you are not paying off anyway. And it is less than four percent and you are getting about six on the money. To pay that off would be like really fucking stupid.

Me: But, I want to use the Barry plan.

WH: Are you not paying attention? The guy is a TWATWAFFLE. (Uncontrollable laughter ensues.)

So, now I know that my banker reads this blog.

Not to give this guy any MORE of a reason to have an abnormally large head (he has to use a custom made shower head), but he is NOT A DUMBASS and he said, "There is no sane or rational reason that the market is in a rally. It is like the folks investing are trying to cram as much into the market before the federal government makes it illegal to invest."

Also, after just participating in a Big Papi ROID Summit with The Nation, talk turned to the economy as well. The Nation happens to believe that when companies reduced earnings expectations last year and have met their expectations this year, it kinda skewed the whole perception of making money tied to P&E. I buy that, it makes sense. (Even if I explained it in FAILBOAT mode like the idiot that I am.)

On to da NEWZ.

Think about this for a second, the elephant-eared world's most powerful man (that has a vagina) invited a policeman and a racist to come DRINK BEER at the White House. And MSNBC had a ticker on the screen for the whole day counting down to the BEER SUMMIT! Folks, if you watch MSNBC you are an imbecile. No, seriously. (By the way, the cop is an Obamabot, too, you know. That is the only reason this went down. ONLY. REASON.)

Now, why exactly would the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES want to take time away from destroying the economy to drink beer with a couple of dudes? Can you even picture Skip Gates drinking beer? Can you picture Barry Obama drinking beer? Geez, that was the DUMBEST thing he has done since being elected and that is saying a whopping mouthful.

Here's a transcript of the BEER SUMMIT.

Even more transcript.

Here's the best explanation and opinion in regards to the BEER SUMMIT.

Here's a photo-montage of the BEER SUMMIT. (This is a must-see!)

FUCK. ME. BEER. SUMMIT. Barry Obama has made this country the laughing stock of the entire planet. And that includes Liberia and France, but I repeat myself.

By the way, Skip Gates drinks Red Stripe which is seriously the WORST BEER in the world. When I went to Jamaica that is the only frigging beer they had and seriously I would rather drink URINE from a crack whore. Just saying. (Hat-Tip: Doubleplusundead)

More HOLY SHIT! news about how poor you are getting.....

While it has always been my desire to get wealthy by masturbating and eating Cheetos in bed, I do believe my chosen lifestyle is quickly coming to an end. The market rally is a psych-job.

The recession is NOT over
, by the way. This post is kinda READ-Y. (Hat-Tip: Jackson Jamablaya)

Here's some Tax-y pictures that give you an idea of who CARRIES this country on their backs.

Maybe it is the projected BANK FAILURES that are fueling this market climb.

Since this involves my chosen profession, I kinda keep an eye on this. "Good" news in the housing market! Sales are OFF 21% from last year is the thing that you should take from this article. And in case you are a LIBERAL, that means IT IS BAD NEWS.

A little more on the state of the Barry-conomy.

Almost as FUCKTARDED as a BEER SUMMIT.

Guess who is to blame for Barry Obama even being president? SARAH PALIN.

On the "healthcare" front, we have yet another update on the ever expanding layers of government between you and your physician. This is SURE to reduce costs, right? Right?

Maybe we should come up with a way that black folks can see black doctors and white folks can see white doctors. This sounds like a really good idea! This reminds me of that time that Fred Sandford would only let the WHITE dentist give him a check-up.

But, we can always count on a rational argument for "healthcare" reforms from those BRILLIANT folks on the Left.

In case you want to see a good example of a BLOG/STATE/PRETTY WOMAN BEATDOWN, this post gave me joy. That is what happens when the beatdown professionals are given a four "D" cell Maglite and are allowed to PERFORM.

No, I am NOT GAY, but this shit from Crashingtosh is too frigging cool not to post. And GAY.

And in Reggie Bush news.....Latina JUGGS!!!!

Here's a Facebook invite from my section of the Drinking, Smoking, Cussing Wing of the Republican Party. If you lost a bet and have to go to DC on September 10, you might want to find these folks and get hammered. When in DC, enjoy the local cuisine, WHISKEY.

Good enough for y'all bitching wifey types?

Please take the time to comment.

10 comments:

Andy said...

How did you do the Facebook thing? Spooky...

paul mitchell said...

Andy, that is REALLY a FB group of which I am a member. It is REAL.

Andy said...

Oh, Okay...now it makes sense. Clever. BTW, Yeah, Palin's VP candidacy really did McCain in. Just like Biden's candidacy cemented support for Barry.

And just note that Andy did not bitch about lack of meany-ness on the internet. Even the meanest of the mean have to take a breather occasionally.

Skunkfeathers said...

Barry's a blithering idiot. Only CNN, MSNBC and his drooling supportive morons can think anything else.

One Salient Oversight said...

That whole Gates arrest and kerfuffle was handled really badly by Obama. Having a beer with the two people involved sounds like a nice idea but it was so obviously staged for the media.

I would've respected him more had Obama had a beer with the cop and Gates at the cop's house with no media present and no mention of it until after it occurred.

christinajade said...

So, Paul, if I am understanding you correctly, and I think I am...the economy sucks, Barry sucks, your banker is named Watermelon Head, and you have Cheeto dust in all your nooks and crannies.

Andy said...

One Salient Oversight, I could not agree more. It was fine to invite the cop to the White House. I'd sure like to go (regardless of who the President is...almost wrangled an invitation once when Clinton was there).

But taking the discussion outside for the express purpose of a photo-op takes the teeth out of any possible sincerity...at least for me.

paul mitchell said...

CJ, naw, I had to back off the Cheetos. And I really just call my banker, "Waterhead," but some folks might take offense to that. You know me, I am uber-sensitive.

OSO and Andy, my cynicism will not allow me to ever think that politicians are doing anything for the right reasons, and I even thought that about George Bush and he was normal.

paul mitchell said...

CJ, naw, I had to back off the Cheetos. And I really just call my banker, "Waterhead," but some folks might take offense to that. You know me, I am uber-sensitive.

OSO and Andy, my cynicism will not allow me to ever think that politicians are doing anything for the right reasons, and I even thought that about George Bush and he was normal.

Andy said...

One Salient Oversight, I could not agree more. It was fine to invite the cop to the White House. I'd sure like to go (regardless of who the President is...almost wrangled an invitation once when Clinton was there).

But taking the discussion outside for the express purpose of a photo-op takes the teeth out of any possible sincerity...at least for me.

Post a Comment