Friday, July 03, 2009

Pre-Independence Day News

Today has been an utter shitstorm of awesome here at La Casa Mitchell and I get back to the Cray 26,000 to find out that the news that I had to pass along kinda pales in comparison to Sarah Palin saying that she is going to resign as governor of Alaska at the end of July.

WTF, peoples? I guess that news of my new freezer fan is NOT the whopper that I had built up in my mind, huh? I bet y'all don't even want to hear about that NOW.

Here's a rundown of the rundown on Sarah Palin's resignation. Funny how she did the Runners World spread and then all of the sudden she dumps the head office of Alaska, huh? I bet she is going PRO on the marathon circuit. (Just so you know, her legs are so hot that it would take the frigging SWAT Team and the Jaws of Life to get me off of her. IF. THEY. COULD.)

The other thing that it seems would be a good fit for Sarah would be to team up with FOX News and do an opinion show. Oddly enough FOX doesn't really have any legitimate competition in the news broadcasting realm. You know, since they have TEN of the TOP TEN and THIRTEEN of the TOP FIFTEEN News programs. Maybe with Palin on board, they would be able to curb the news market entirely.

Here's a really odd occurrence, one of the five people that watches Keith Olbermann's show can actually read, write, and make an attempt at correspondence in English. Of course, THEY ARE FRIGGIN' DUMB AS SCABS AND FINGERNAILS. Even Dan Patrick coughed up his skull laughing at that letter.

Maybe Palin has resigned to go into the child care industry to help out people that should never have spawned. People using the word "gender" when they mean "sex" makes me want to kill bunnies, kittens, and baby pandas.

Maybe Sarah is going to open a school that teaches etiquette and patriotism. It seems that the Democrats do have a little bit of a problem with the Pledge of Allegiance. Of course, they HAVE always been the party of hate.

Maybe she saw the opening as Governor Mark Sanford has an utter vaginal meltdown moment and just wants to NOT be associated with anyone of his ILK. Good Lord, boy, you want me to get your shawl and PURSE outta the truck? SOULMATE?!?!?!?!

As long as we are discussing MARRIAGE, one of my Facebook buddies, Drew Olanoff, proposed to his girl over Twittah! Dude, that is just awesome on so many levels that if this week hadn't have been so crazy, his proposal would have been the story of the week. By the way, she said YES! Good luck, you crazy kids.

There are so many good stories in the news this week that I cannot comment on all of them. Below is a genuine LINKDUMP. Enjoy.

Michael Jackson stuff
. With DOPE.

Reverse Vampyr apologizes for being a deadbeat blogger. Worry the shit out of him, please.

Sonia Sotomayor gets overturned, UNANIMOUSLY. Not 5-4, sorry Libtards.

Jobs news. NOT GOOD. Obamanomics rivals Jimmynomics in its asininity.

Steve B gets some links. I shall try to piggyback on his success, because I am a VULTURE.

Guess who is financing the media push for ObamaFAILcare? ACORN, SEIU, and Soros.

My good buddy, Pam Meister was all over the webbytubes this week. At Family Security Matters. At Pajamas Media, and SHITFIRE, I lost the other links. I swear I suck, but not literally.

Remember folks, tomorrow is July the fourth, but the occasion is Independence Day. Celebrate your freedom, the new, moron powers that be are coming for it. Buy a firearm in celebration.

Please take the time to comment.

6 comments:

Andy said...

"I guess that news of my new freezer fan is NOT the whopper that I had built up in my mind, huh?" Nyuk!...that's why you MATTER, Paul.

Olbermann writes letters praising himself...I wonder if he answers them?

NY Dems will not stand to pledge allegiance to the flag...big shock! They probably were waiting for "last call," and didn't hear the Hamms Bear says "it's closing time."

Twitter proposal? I was torn on this one at first, but I thought about it. For hundreds of years folks have proposed marriage by letters, phone calls, telegrams, and smoke signals...Cool.

I have Reverse Vampyr on my Google Reader. I thought he was a she...I'm just saying...no offense intended.

Pam Meister...your "good buddy?" Dang...I hope to know someone one day that makes PJM. I'll brag on ya' Paul. "I knew him when..."

paul mitchell said...

And Andy, I read my favorite blogs right after I posted this and saw that your fan problem was even worse than mine and that really disturbed me. I thought MY FAN story was good. Shit, I kid myself too much some times. I didn't even have the best fan story today.

FAN FAIL DAY.

Patrick Joubert Conlon said...

I'm guilty of using "gender" instead of sex because sex means only one thing to the modern generation which seems to have a one-track mind.

paul mitchell said...

Patrick, your use of words is good enough where you are allowed one little deviation from the intelligent stuff as far as I am concerned. No worries.

Steve B said...

My next goal in life is to make it onto your "Special Friends" list.

I suppose I'll need to start using words like "IDIOT LIBTARD" in all caps, and stuff.

paul mitchell said...

Steve, while that is an admirable, lofty goal, alas, it has been reached, already.

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