Thursday, July 23, 2009

Shower Solutions

As most smart folks do, I usually solve all of the world's problems while showering. This is where I developed the idea of the World's Worst Sandwich™ contest, too. Just so you know, it is banana and horseradish, for reals, trust me.

Anyhoo, with the "healthcare" thingy in my head, I entered the Think Tank this morning. As usual, I cut the ever-loving SHIT out of my throat while shaving. The morning delirium tremens usually provide the shaky hands that make shaving inherently dangerous. Being an incredibly heavy drinker (read Catholic) there are some quality of life issues that take a nutpunch in the morning.*

Now, this morning's game show attacks the "healthcare" VICTIM hierarchy. With the throat cut-ty thing going on, I wondered how I would place in the RIGHT to medical services. So, I decided to develop in my opinion the ULTIMATE PATIENT. You take a shot in the comments, too!

Here's my PRIORITY PATIENT: An illegal Haitian Muslim immigrant parolee on the sexual predator list from a child rape conviction, that is a transgendered homosexual with full blown AIDS, who pulls a HAMMY while running from the police after committing a gun murder during a botched drug deal in the 'Hood.

Your turn.

Please take the time to comment.

*Yes, I basically quit drinking again about two years ago, soooo.

18 comments:

classicaliberal said...

Ted 'Fucking' Kennedy

Just sayin...

Staci said...

Obama's Priority Patient is, in a word, black.

I can't think of a damned thing to add to yours, except maybe "liberal" in there somewhere.

classicaliberal said...

An unemployed, Iraq War Veterans Against the War, Black Muslim, illegal immigrant, who is shot by the IDF after attempting to take 'humanitarian aide' to the Palestinians via sailboat off the shores of Gaza.

paul mitchell said...

Fat Ted Tumor Head is a priority patient, but I am assuming he would go to the private hospital that is saved for democrat politicians, CL.

Staci, I thought with Haitian, black was covered, I covered liberal with all the other pieces of my description.

CL, now I am assuming that you believe Obama is going to allow Israel to continue to exist.

Staci said...

Fair enough.

classicaliberal said...

With the way Democrats wage war, if it came to blows between the USofA and Israel, I'd probably hafto go with Israel

miriam said...

Henry Louis Gates, Jr

paul mitchell said...

Miriam, nice one.

Coffee Bean said...

All people who can read but can't comprehend.

jan said...

The Offended Ones. Those who search for reasons to be.

Anonymous said...

Nazi Pelousy.

christinajade said...

Perez Hilton after Crowder finally get sick of the crap.

christinajade said...

gheesh - GRAMMAR FAIL. *hangs head*

Gnutcase said...

Oops...outta town so I just now noticed that your opening paragraph was meant to call me out. Because we (the mean one and I) along with one other guy actually did this in Junior High...I'll offer my entry. Bologna and Whipped Cream. hehe Remember that?

paul mitchell said...

Gnut, I do remember bologna and whipped cream, but I cannot actually remember ever eating any of them, though. You never comment, I thought you hated me, now. Or either your wife hates me, even though she has never met me.

Wimmerns are crazy.

christinajade said...

Perez Hilton after Crowder finally get sick of the crap.

paul mitchell said...

Gnut, I do remember bologna and whipped cream, but I cannot actually remember ever eating any of them, though. You never comment, I thought you hated me, now. Or either your wife hates me, even though she has never met me.

Wimmerns are crazy.

paul mitchell said...

Miriam, nice one.

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