Sunday, August 09, 2009

Proof of the Failure of State Run Medical Services

Most of y'all know that I got a weakness for the packaging for this chick. Trust me, when she speaks, my flesh crawls. The Brits REALLY, REALLY, REALLY need to ditch that failboat pronunciation of the language. If you really want to hear someone that sounds like simpering moron, crack open any movie starring John Gielgud, he sounds like he needs to be digging ditches, milking goats, or some other menial task. Good Lord! The Brits sound like uneducated rubes that grew up on some remote island with ZERO culture, throwing chamber pot waste into the street, eating food that we feed to our hogs, you get the picture.

Anyhoo, since we are knee-deep in the debate on "healthcare," we must look at the actual folks that go to the doctor all the time, WOMEN!!!! Women go to the doctor more than men change socks, folks. I am not saying that it shall be women that bring about the collapse of our medical services once the BarryCare gets FORCED on us, but that is who is going to be spending all the money.

I did the math on my doctor's visits over the course of the last ten years and found that I have spent a grand total of 0.00000067% of my life at the doctor/dentist's office. If I take into account the amount of time that I spent at the doctor with Ca, the total increases to 1.2%. See how that works?

Not to place too fine a point on things, but in that very same time of spending 0.00000067% of my TIME, I spent 2.8% of my income on those services. That doesn't seem too bad, soooooo.

What does the photo of Kate Beckinsale have to do with this post? Look at the image and know that this chick is smoking hot in my opinion. I have no clue what she looked like as a newborn, but I do know that obviously the doctor that delivered her had to gnaw the fucking umbilical cord off with his urine-coloured Brit snagged up GRILLE, and do we really want that in the greatest country in the history of the world?

How much does reconstructive surgery on the navel cost, exactly? Because that is just UNACCEPTABLE. There are bullet holes on Fiddy that are prettier than that shit.

Please take the time to comment.

(Much props to Classical Liberal for the image.)

6 comments:

Patrick Joubert Conlon said...

I'd never notices Kate's navel before. It's not as bad as most Brits teeth.

I've got the same opinion about British accents as you. They just don't know how to speak English. When Americans say to me, "Oh, you've got a lovely accent," I say, "No, I've got a weird accent. Americans speak the best English in the world."

paul mitchell said...

Patrick, that is a never-ending car crash upon her belly. Gross. At least she went and got her mouth reworked.

As far as the accents are concerned, I'll be the first to admit that I missed my calling as an extra in Deliverance, but our Southern-fried chicks give me chills with the Belle thing going on. Truly.

Staci said...

In my own opinion, there's nothing better than a southern draaaawwwllll....

Patrick Joubert Conlon said...

Paul, I also love Southern accents but they're almost as bad as British regional accents although not as bad as Northeastern and Lakes argots.

The most perfectly enunciated and understandable English is spoken by the educated Scots - and some middle-class Westerners.

ChristinaJade said...

I'm with you on the southern drawl thing, but dang, ya'll, I'm from Western Kentucky.

It just don't get any more redneck than that!

(disclaimer: the above comment contains intentionally included grammatical errors to emphasize subject matter of said aforementioned comment.)

paul mitchell said...

Patrick, I like to tell myself that I can actually speak without the Cracker accent, but I lie to myself a whole bunch.

Christina, you are not a redneck.

Post a Comment