Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Consistency is Good

Since I cannot seem to post on a regular basis anymore, I am shutting this blog down.

Just kidding, I have never been consistent or responsible with anything that I have ever done. I have no clue how I can do any better with this blog. I have noticed that the more I bitch about how much I suck, the more money y'all send, so shit, Hell, damn, I suck. (Hide and watch the money roll in on that Pay-Pal account.)

I have been sitting here trying to figure out who should win the Heisman Trophy and the bestest candidate has got to be Barry Obama in a landslide.

Think I'm kidding? Well, then you are not watching the Congress in its attempts to force a College Playoff. While I am totally for a footbaw playoff in college baw, the very last thing I want is for the fucking CONGRESS to get involved. Dude, they are currently debating taking over our medical system. HOLY SHIT!!! That is bad enough, but FOOTBAW?!?!?!

As a matter of fact, Basil has already worked this out. I think that we should just give Basil the salary of all of the Congressdouchebags and be done with everything.

Think about this. CONGRESS. WANTS. TO. GET. INVOLVED. IN. FOOTBAW. NOES!!!!!!!!

Please remember who has been in charge of Congress since 2007, The Party of the Morons. If you care anything about anything, now is not the time for anything to move through Congress. Not only that, but think about the fact that California has FIFTY-THREE Congressmen. Does that fair well for uSCCC to be in the damn championship game every year?

Just for another fear tactic, Ohio has eighteen. Holy shit, do you think that we would have a uSCCC v. tOSU game every friggin' year? Well, of course. And then, uSCCC would be the national champion every damn year.

By the way Bammeroids, y'all have seven Congressmen, say goodbye to ever playing in the game again, but New York, y'all have 29, so I guess we'll see the damn Orangemen or whatever gay name y'all have for Sarah-Cooze this year.

You know what the most amazing part of this Congressional legislation is? It was contributed by a Republican that made a comment about Cincinnati and TCU or one of the other ridiculous teams. Shit, I fell asleep reading him bitching about the SEC, Big-12, and the PAC-10 being in the game every year. Dude, you want me to get your gay-ass shawl and purse outta the truck?

To hammer home the point, only the SEC and the Big 12 SOUTH should ever be in the championship game. There are no other legitimate teams in the country. Cincinnati sucks. So does TCU.

Congress, please just embezzle your millions, take your spoils, live like kings, and leave us normal, intelligent people the fuck alone.

Please take the time to comment.

21 comments:

classicaliberal said...

Ryan Matthews - Fresno State for Heisman. Find me a better Running Back. I dare you.

Skunkfeathers said...

Just when most of the civilized, intelligent world had concluded that NO ONE could better screw up college football than the BsCS...along comes Congress to make the BsCS look intelligent.

paul mitchell said...

CL, try Anthony Dixon at We Suck. Second toughest schedule in D-I ball and plays for the shittiest team in the SEC and here's his stats.

http://espn.go.com/ncf/player/profile?playerId=245353

Skunks, doesn't that scare the ever-loving fuck outta ya'?

classicaliberal said...

I know you're going to get on your SEC soapbox and declare that all teams that are not SEC teams in the top 25 are worthless, but Matthews had huge games against top 25 ranked teams, including Boise State, Wisconsin, Cincinnati and Utah State. Yes, I realize that none of these teams were Alabama or LSU, but they were/are top 25 ranked teams at the time they played. The kid had a 6.8 yard average every freaking time he touched the ball. I don't disagree that Anthony Dixon is also a talented athlete, but not considering either of these two for Heisman is re-donk-ulous.

Somebody please tell me why C.J. Spiller from unranked Clemson is on the goddam list?!

paul mitchell said...

CL, Spiller ain't on the New York list. I saw it today and the lineman kid from Nebraska was, though. I am not even interested in it, really, because Colt McCoy is your next Heisman winnah.

classicaliberal said...

Right, because McCoy did so damn well against the Huskers last week.

Verification word: Nutgloc

I guess Weinerruger was too obvious?

paul mitchell said...

That was a conference championship game, it doesn't count toward the Heisman or it shouldn't anyway.

classicaliberal said...

Really? Conference championship games don't count toward the Heisman?! That's like not considering playoff games or the Super Bowl when awarding the League MVP Award. The BCS is all kinds of f#cked up!

paul mitchell said...

If they did, then uSCCC, Michigan, Penn State, and tOSU could never have a Heisman winner because they would be short one game.

That and they are pussies.

(Ball. Your court.)

classicaliberal said...

I'm taking my ball and going home. But before I do, Ryan Matthews for Heisman 2010. 6.8 Yards per carry!!!

paul mitchell said...

I just don't think that a MW team's player is gonna win a Heisman. Holy shit, Fresno played UC-Davis!

classicaliberal said...

What you got against the Aggies?!

Skunkfeathers said...

If I didn't know better, I'd say Paul is pushing Tim Tebow for the Heisman.

Califorlornia's Babs Boxer and Bela Pelosi have already drafted a bill awarding the national championship to Barry Hussein Soetero...mmm mmm mmm...with uSCCC as runner-up.

paul mitchell said...

Naw, Timbow did not earn the Heisman this year. Plus he is a crybaby. Like BritFarr.

CL, I have nothing against UC-Davis, but aren't they like a D-IV school? What the Hell is the Great West Conference?

MUD said...

Mr. Suh from Nebraska will tackle your ass and leave bruises. Hell, I think the Nobel Prize Committee is recounting the votes and rethinking the "Piece" prize as he will tear you you a new one. At least Kansas is going to get a new coach. Won't help them beat most of the BIG XII South but it will warm our hearts. MUD

paul mitchell said...

MUD, I have no doubt the kid is good, but Charles Woodson is the only defensive player ever to receive the Heisman and he also played receiver, too. I do not know why they make an attempt to call the Heisman an award for the best player and then give it to people like Troy Smith and Matt Leinert.

I sure hope that there is some food left in Kansas to feed the new corch, after Mangino leaves.

Andy said...

I'm late, and missed the fun. Crap. I could go for Suh. That guy is a freakin' animal...best I've seen. But the HeIsOurMan really ought to be the guy that his team could not win the National Championship without.

So, since the national championship has been settled, it's gotta be Ingram at 'Bama.

And you're right TD, Congress will give us something inferior to the BSCS. As to the Republican initiating the crap...

Well, last year it was Senator Hatch from stinkin' Utah (R).

Texas Shooter said...

Gaaaah! WHY did you have to mention Charles Woodson?

The guy who stole the Heisman from Peyton Manning?

The guy who insisted that a childrens charity pay for airfare (first class, baby!) for his "posse" to attend their event?

*TXMarko runs screaming into the night*

paul mitchell said...

TXMarko, Woodson played for Michigan, did he deserve the Heisman? Of course not, Big 10(11)? Cuh-razee.

Remember the Big 10(11)'s next winner? Ron Dayne. Next? Troy Smith. (What round did Smith get picked? The fifth?)

No sirree bobcat dang, the Big 10(11) don't deserve no Heismans evah.

Skunkfeathers said...

If I didn't know better, I'd say Paul is pushing Tim Tebow for the Heisman.

Califorlornia's Babs Boxer and Bela Pelosi have already drafted a bill awarding the national championship to Barry Hussein Soetero...mmm mmm mmm...with uSCCC as runner-up.

Texas Shooter said...

Gaaaah! WHY did you have to mention Charles Woodson?

The guy who stole the Heisman from Peyton Manning?

The guy who insisted that a childrens charity pay for airfare (first class, baby!) for his "posse" to attend their event?

*TXMarko runs screaming into the night*

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