Sunday, March 07, 2010

It's official! Michelle Obama is an idiot.

Before you get all defensive, Sunshine, Haley and Marsha Barbour must be dumb as nails, too.

Is there anyone (past the age of FOUR YEARS OLD) that does not know that in order for you to maintain your health, you must eat properly and exercise? Seriously, you need Michelle Obama to fly down to poor widdle Mississippi to tell you to eat your vegetables? REALLY?

Needless to say, the staff at the Clarion Ledger thinks that Michelle Obama is the THIRD coming of the Lord Jesus Christ.

When you have a "news" item that states, "She is Hillary Clinton smart." and does not take the next eighteen pages printing HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, there is a monumental problem, folks.

Think about that for a second, because it only took a few seconds for a good friend of mine to crawfish exponentially from the "I must admit that I liked Hillary Clinton" statement that she made YESTERDAY.

The C-L goes on to say that Michelle Obama is "fully qualified to discuss" numerous important issues of the day. This means that Michelle Obama HAS. A. MOUTH. It doesn't mean that she has the intelligence to solve these problems, it means she has the capability to TALK.

I cannot even contemplate how ridiculously stupid someone must be to actually print some of the stuff that comes from the "news" sources these days. Do they even READ what they publish? Do they even realize how stupid it is?

Does Michelle Obama really think that flying around the country, at taxpayer expense, to talk about getting exercise and eating good stuff is a good idea when her husband is rapidly destroying the economy of the country? SHE DOES? Is she retarded, TOO?

But check this out...
In a school classroom with her press people and Secret Service nearby, I met Mrs. Obama. She is a fascinating person with a recall of issues that showcases a depth of knowledge that far surpasses the superficial. During our tightly scheduled interview, she passionately discussed the obesity issue, why it's important, and why she'll devote much of her time to it.
Um, it is important for kids to be healthy. Mrs. Obama knows this. It makes her smart. REALLY? Are you kidding, Ronnie Agnew, or are you seriously this ridiculously DUMB?

We shall continue...
She is humorous person, but she is quick to get back on message because of the seriousness of the topic. There is an urgency there that suggests she considers this her mandate, her calling. She wants kids to get off the couch, limit video games, turn off the TV and become involved in some form of physical activity.
WORDS. ESCAPE. ME. You had an opportunity to address the First Lady of the United States and y'all are simply talking about something that every single person ABOVE THE FRIGGIN' AGE OF FOUR KNOWS? And making the attempt to act like you are discussing something of importance?

NO. FREAKING. WAI.

Not to keep hammering this point, but Ronnie even goes on to talk about how healthy the Obamas are. Um, dude, Michelle was right up close to you. Did you not see that humongously ginormous ASS of hers? Asses do not just get that size by exercise, it takes an inordinate amount of time sitting around doing NOTHING to make something spread out like that. And since your head is about nine feet up Barry Obama's ass, Ronnie, did you NOT hear about his medical examination this PAST WEEK? The doctor kinda told President Barry that his cholesterol numbers were through the stratosphere, he needs to quit smoking, and he drinks too much.

Ronnie opines...
I asked her how the typical family could get motivated to stay in shape like the Obamas, who've made themselves a "Let's Move" example.
Well, obviously it is to sit on the couch, have a servant bring you a beer, fire up a coffin nail, while eating a BUTTER, ICE CREAM, AND SAUSAGE PIE. Again, check out Michelle's ASS!

Let's take a look at more of the BIG HUGE BRAIN on Michelle Obama...
I would say, first of all, don't feel guilty and don't stress about it. I'd say the first thing is to go to your pediatrician.
There is so much wrongness here that it defies logic. First, your husband is trying to put all doctors out of business, but let's run to the doctor to tell us to eat properly and exercise? DUDE. YOU. ARE. KIDDING.

Read the article, NOW. Then come back and read my solution. I'll wait.

I'll make my solution short and to the point.

Cut out ALL government food stamp programs. End the "free" lunch program. End the handout program for "free" cable services. End the "free" internet program. When the fat "POOR" people cannot simply sit on their "free" couch, watching their "free" television, or using their "free" internet, while eating a "free" corndog (really a ribeye), I guarantee they will no longer be suffering from the the "disease" of obesity.

Oh, and Michelle Obama is a simpering IDIOT, Ronnie. So are you.

Our daily prayer: Good Lord, I am so glad that you watch over morons and keep them safe, but do you think that maybe you could give the rest of us a break for a CHANGE? We are kinda going BROKE feeding these idiots. Amen.

Please take the time to comment.

18 comments:

ChristinaJade said...

Oh, and don't forget the latest one...FREE CELL PHONES! Yeah, that one needs to go, too.

paul mitchell said...

I am kinda out of the loop on what all deadbeats can get for "free" now. Geez, "free" cell phones for deadbeats? What is that program called?

ChristinaJade said...

Dude - check it...

https://www.safelinkwireless.com/EnrollmentPublic/home.aspx

paul mitchell said...

Dang, they misspelled "Screw" in the name of the program.

classicaliberal said...

http://ibelieveinharveydenttoo.com/

classicaliberal said...

There is no "Obama phone" or other newly created federal program to provide free cell phones. As you may know, this is a myth that is now circulating on the Web via email and blog sites. It has been thoroughly debunked by independent groups. (See for example: FactCheck.org at http://www.factcheck.org/2009/10/the-obama-phone/, which notes: "Low-income households have been eligible for discounted telephone service for more than a decade. But the program is funded by telecom companies, not by taxes, and the president has nothing to do with it."
The federal "Lifeline" program was created during the Reagan Administration.

Taken from SafeLink's fact sheet.

Andy said...

CL, I thought you were dead. And, CJ...same for you! I see you've got a post up, and I'm heading over there to look at it...something about KY Jelly Senators, or something...

Paul, did you see that picture from the Clarion-Ledger? Jeez Lousie! I have downloaded it for a "Haunt Day Hottie" episode soon.

Man, when I read the article from the (dangit, I wish I could remember what Skunks calls the retard news in Jackson) Clarion, I almost went out to the shop, and put my face into my table saw.

I swear...I heard Jay Leno the other day on our local talk station. They carry his "Last Night on Tonight" thingamajig. He was talking about ObozO's physical exam thing that exposed him as a Camel jonesing, lush. Leno said something like, "The President's colon exam was CLEAR for polyps, but they did find two New York Times reporters..."

It was something like that. Dude, when Jay Leno starts making fun of the news reporting on the Bozotard...the rest will not be far behind.

paul mitchell said...

Andy, Skunks calls it the "Cladipus Licker," I think. Ronnie Agnew, the guy that wrote that four page lickfest, is the Editor in Chief. Oh, and an idiot.

Andy said...

Yeah, it's something like that...makes me laugh every time he does that.

I forgot to mention the lame-o that wrote the garbage. Is he kin to Spiro?

paul mitchell said...

Andy, Ronnie Agnew is much darker skinned than Spiro. They are probably not kin.

Skunkfeathers said...

Cladipus Licker...Paul's on it ;)

The coverage the Clapidus Licker gave the 'Chelle is no surprise; I will never forget another simpering, head-into-AlGore's-lower-intestine, during the post 2000 election battle, saying the following: "The Vice President today spoke about the legal issues surrounding the pending recounts, demonstrating an astonishing grasp of the facts...". The astonishingly grasped facts that were all BS and rejected by the US Supreme Court, while that court still cared a tad for the rule of law over libtard politics.

The Left is, and will forever remain, mind-numbingly dumbass and slavish to their fading ideology and mannequins put up as 'heroes' of same.

And remember: Clapidus Licker. Ronnie Agnew (gesundheit) is the idiotor of the Clapidus Licker. And probably proud of it, not knowing what a cladipus licks...

The Mayor said...

It seems Ronnie gets his exercise by swirling his tongue into the rectums of one Obama family.

Hey Andy - what's with you thinking everyone is suddenly dead - CL, Nancy, etc.

Can you see into the future, or somethin'?

Andy said...

That's cruel, Mayor! You know I can't see into the future. I'M BLIND!

Nah, I just hadn't heard from CL, CJ, or Nancy in a coon's age...just jerking their chains, 'cause I loves 'em, and misses 'em.

MUD said...

It always amazes me that people attack the First lady like she is responsible for the POTUS. Anyone that gives her that kind of power has not tried to live with a woman for 40 years (+). I would never try to explain what beauty is to the eye of the beholder. (From either direction) I just hope that we can get the health Bill to not come due and keep the Cap and trade bill off the table. Then we need to work on the next round of elections. MUD

ChristinaJade said...

Awww..I loves you, too, Andy! :)

Andy said...

I know. I mean...who doesn't?

David said...

"I cannot even contemplate how ridiculously stupid someone must be to actually print some of the stuff that comes from the "news" sources these days."

I can. And here's how I see it (in fact, I can find no other reasonable explanation for some of the things "reported" as "news"):

Almost every member of the so-called "fouth estate" is now a podperson whose every utterance is actually issed from the hivemind. Yes, the so-called "mainstream media" is really just a manifestation of the Mass MEdia Podpeople Hivemind which receives all its "news" from the Mothership orbiting Uranus.

That's the only thing I can contemplate actually resulting in what issues from their alien pie holes.

Anonymous said...

From what I can remember no one voted her in for anything.

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