Thursday, October 28, 2010

The BCS - Once Again Into the Breech - College GAMEDAY!!!

The Four Letter Network's College Gameday made the decision to try to get as far away from college footbaw as they could get without going to Boise. They are in SoCal for the National Junior College Handicapped Championship with Oducks v. uSCCC. I am not really sure where the Oducks play, but I am certain their town sucks. At least they didn't name their team, "The Trojans!!!"

"Hey, Jim, let's start a junior college footbaw team, but name it after something you slip on your junk!!! It will be a laugh riot!!!"

All across this great country, there are people that believe as I do. However, only in the South are there people that believe as I do that get to experience REAL college footbaw. I love my philosophical brethren, but when some right-minded person from Cali brings up the PAC-10 and wants to talk college footbaw, I just yawn.

Such is the case with Nigel at Six Meat Buffet this morning. I have all the sympathy in the world for PAC-10 homers, they have never experienced college footbaw FAH reals.

Let's check in on the historical record from the onset of the Bowl Championship Series to get a grasp on the way things really are. Luckily, since the BCS started, there have been metrics that have kept us from having to watch a uSCCC v. tOSU "championship" game every year. Obviously, the VAST majority of sportscasters, those morons that talk sports, went to SoCal or Bucknuts. That is the only explanation for those two teams EVER being ranked in the Top 100, much less the Top Ten.

Let's get those two LOSERS outta the way really quickly.

tOSU has played in three BCS championships and actually won one! They beat Miami, a team from the Big Least. They lost to Florida and LSU, who play in the, um, SEC.

uSCCC has played in two championship games and won ONE. They beat Boomer Sooner and lost to Tejas. Both teams are from the only other legitimate championship conference, the Big 12 SOUTH.

Two additional teams deserve a special mention. Flarda State Criminoles and Boomer Sooner. Oklahoma because they have played in the game four times, with a record of 1-3, losing to two different SEC teams (Geaux Tigers and Flarda) and uSCCC. Flarda State played in the first three, winning one against Va Tech of the Big Least and losing to Rocky Top (SEC) and Boomer Sooner (Big 12 SOUTH).

The Big Least has played in two games and is 1-1, with two different teams playing, Va Tech and Miami.

The ACC has played in three games and is 1-2 with only Flarda State representing.

The Big 10(11)(12) has played in three games, is 1-2, with only Bucknuts representing.

The PAC-10 has played in two games, is 1-1, with only uSCCC representing.

The Big Twelve SOUTH has played in seven games, with a record of 2-5, with three different teams playing, Boomer Sooner, Tejas, and Nebraksnatuckysaw. Okie and Tejas won one apiece.

Finally, the SEC. The SEC has won the BCS Championship Game for the last FOUR YEARS. In the twelve years that the BCS has been in operation, the SEC has played in six games, fully HALF of those games. Of those six games, the SEC has lost ZERO. Of those wins, the SEC has been represented by FOUR different teams, Rocky Top, Geaux Tigers (twice), Flarda (twice), and Bammer.

I would like to be able to say that today's number one in the BCS poll, The Barn, would add to the championships that the SEC has, but the reason that the SEC has not won every BCS game played to date is because of the parity in the conference. There can technically only be one undefeated team in the SEC, because they play a conference championship, unlike the PAC-10 or the Big 10(11)(12).

So, to summarize, one THIRD of the SEC has won one HALF of all BCS games and the SEC has never lost. Not once. There is no other conference that has a WINNING record in BCS games, much less an undefeated one.

To simplify things in college footbaw, I make the proposal that the Big 12 SOUTH champion and the SEC champion play for the national title every year. That is the only way to have a true college footbaw champion.

No hard feelings to you, the lesser conferences, there is simply no comparison of your conference to the SEC. This is not simply my opinion, which I have held ever since I figured out what college footbaw was, but the history and mathematics kinda proves me right. Get over it.

(PS. If I missed a conference in my rundown on the BCS game (from memory!), I am sorry, but y'all are irrelevant to the world as a whole and you know it. And the image on this post is to show y'all that even the suckiest teams in the SEC, have the hottest chicks with the biggest...um...hands.)

Please take the time to comment.

10 comments:

Staci said...

"To simplify things in college footbaw, I make the proposal that the Big 12 SOUTH champion and the SEC champion play for the national title every year. That is the only way to have a true college footbaw champion."


Best idea I've ever heard. I so totally agree.

paul mitchell said...

It is simply basic mathematics, Staci. Math is good.

(Dead)Tommy5 said...

CROOM

paul mitchell said...

You know it.

Andy said...

That chick at the top an old friend of yours from back in the day? Just curious...

paul mitchell said...

Sadly, NO.

Andy said...

BTW, excellent break-down, and explanation of facts.

Anonymous said...

If it ends with Oregon vs. Auburn, will this finally decide which is better....Pac12 or SEC??

Roderick

paul mitchell said...

Roderick, yes it will for one year, but that will make three years that the PAC-10 goes and they will be 1-2 after playing, so do you think that the PAC-10 homers will quit saying anything afterward? Of course not. The math is right in the post. SEC is 6-0 in the BCS. PAC-10 is currently 1-1.

Moogie P said...

What you said.

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