Sunday, January 16, 2011

Sunday Morning Quarterback**

Since there is virtually no FEAR of Andy publishing Sunday Morning Quarterback™ today, I decided that I would.

In case anyone is NCAA College Footbaw illiterate, I shall explain that the Bowl Championship Series doesn't publish a Final Poll after the Bowling. Their job is done before the silly season starts. In fact, the BCS ends immediately following the World Championship Game that is held every year in Atlanta.

So, we have to crank up the Cray 36,000 and cipher all this crap ourselves to show everyone how far SUPERIOR the SEC actually is.

It is an easy thing to place Auburn at NUMBER ONE. They went undefeated in the SEC. That should be an automatic NUMBER ONE ranking across all polls. This year is equally solid by having the Heisman Winner, Cameron Newton on the Plainsmen.

After the number one, though, things are not so solid. TCU played ZERO ranked teams. They won against a Big 10(11)(12) team in their bowl game. That does nothing for me toward ranking them up top. The fact that there were three first place votes in the APee, and one in the USA poll, kinda makes me believe that there are at least three people in college footbaw that are too dangerous to be allowed in public.

Then Oregon and Stanford. Again, Oregon played one ranked team and beat them and that was Stanford. Stanford played one ranked team and LOST. Plus, Oregon's strength on offense was their HUGE 335.9 yards per game rushing. In the game against The Barn, Oregon gained SEVENTY-FIVE yards. Plus, Auburn made two minor mistakes in that game that cost them two touchdowns. The score should have been at least 34-19 for The Barn.

Stanford lost to Oregon. Feh.

tOSU lost to Wisconsin that lost to TCU who played NO ONE.

Then we have Boomer Sooner. True, they lost two games, but the two they lost were to ranked teams that lost in the Big 12 circle, too. I just do not discount those losses because they ultimately matter and Boomer went on to beat another ranked team in the Big 12 Championship Game.

So let's look at this thing like people that understand mathematics, mmmmkay?

Auburn is number one with no doubt, even though there are morons that voted instead for TCU.

Oklahoma is number two because of SOS and their W-L in the only other legitimate conference DIVISION, the Big 12 SOUTH.

Then LSU, Alabama, Arkansas round out the top five.

Oregon is SIXTH in the REAL MATHEMATICALLY DONE Poll.

Oh, and in case you are color blind and cannot understand the chart, the SEC finished the year with SIX ranked teams, after 84% of the conference went bowling. The Big 12 comes in second with five ranked teams, ACC is third with four, Big 10(11)(12), which is going to change to the Big (?) this fall, is fourth with three, then the PAC-10 and the WAC (WTF?) tie with two, and then all the other loser conferences fall in line.

Oh, did I mention that since the start of the BCS, there have been thirteen BCS Championship Games? Of these 13 games, an SEC team has been to seven of them. Five different teams have represented the SEC. The SEC is 7-0 in the BCSCG and has won the last five.

The SEC is undefeated in the BCSCG and there is no other conference that even has a winning record in the same game. Weird, huh?

Now, is there ANY debate topic left to mention or did I sufficiently PROVE that the SEC is best conference in all of college footbaw?

By the way, The We Suck MSU Bulldogs finished the year at number 15 and prison raped Michigan in the Gata Bowl. What is up with that?

** Remember to send Andy a message about how much he slacked off on the SMQ this past season.

Please take the time to comment.

23 comments:

Moogie P said...

Moogie likes.

paul mitchell said...

Moogie, I am going to keep my danged mouth shut about what y'all did. In the same vein, I am guessing it is pretty hard to get jazzed for playing tOSU.

Staci said...

Me likey too. #2 is just not that bad.

Staci said...

Um, when is September?

Andy said...

Dude, I really did slack on SMQ this season. I had so much crap going on that I really didn't even get to watch much of the first 5 or 6 weeks of The Only Sport That Really Matters.

I was out of the loop, and didn't want to look more ridiculous than usual. I'm gonna give 'er a rip in September, though...if it ever gets here. I'm gonna try to come back "funny," though. Truth is, there wasn't much of the funny bangin' in the old head this season, due to factors which I will not discuss. Again.

But, there's ALWAYS next season.

I think you did a pretty good jarb on the cipherin'. I had done some myself a while back, which I just found on a tablet this morning.

Discount the "ranked teams" deal, and just go with "winning teams."

LSU played 10 teams with a winning schedule (Most in the SEC, but including the Aggies in the Cotton Bowl). Finished 11-2

Boise played 6 with a winning schedule (these all include the bowl results). Mostly in a weak conference.

TCU played 8 winning teams...in a better conference than Boise, but babyfied compared to the SEC.

Arkansas played 9 winning teams, but slopped their dripper. Honestly, O State is probably the best team in the nation outside the SEC.

Oregon played exactly 5 teams with a winning record, and should have been humiliated by Auburn (actually I think the BCS finale was Auburn's worst performance of the year).

All in all, I'd agree with your assessment...however, The Moog can claim rights due to the Hawg win over us. Regardless, it's pretty dang close. Good wrap-up...

paul mitchell said...

Andy, you know that you do not have to grovel to US about your failings with SMQ this past season, you have to LIVE with it, in your heart, every morning when you arise. That is a burden too big for the normal man. I am glad that you are up to that task.

When is September? I fell asleep last night, I did not miss it, did I?

Anonymous said...

Uh,

Didn't Oregon lose by only 3pts to the mighty SEC king??

They couldn't even QB sneak it in at the last minute, they were stuffed.

If the $EC is so powerful how do you explain such a low margin of victory over Oregon??

Roderick

paul mitchell said...

Oh, I don't know Roderick, maybe Cam Newton blew his back apart in the first quarter and had to dive forward on every run from that point on.

How do you account for the mighty, mighty, mighty offense of the Ducks not going for 100 yards in the game against Auburn?

Anonymous said...

Two Words...

Nick Fairley.

Chiznik had a full house with the team he had this year...Dyer, Netwton, Fairley, etc..

Roderick

paul mitchell said...

Yeah, you are right Roderick, if Nick had played up during the game, it would have been much different. I guess that he was just rusty from not playing. But, really, Oregon was so hideously awful and pathetically weak, I thought that Fairley would have been a factor, even with him so dreadfully out of shape. I guess I cannot be right all the time.

Andy said...

Roderick makes an excellent point. He obviously knows that Auburn was a far superior team, and should have creamed the ducks.

Actually, I've asked myself the same question that Roderick posed. No pacific-10 team should have made Auburn win it on the last play.

I mean, they suck. All of 'em. Nothing personal, just facts.

Anonymous said...

Andy,

I wouldn't say all, if Toby Gerhardt had stayed at Stanford this year it would have been Stanford vs. Auburn in that game. Stanford's only loss was to Oregon, after they went up 28 in the first half.

The Stanford team would have had the same result if not a victory since they would have had a better RB and QB.

Roderick

Andy said...

Roderick, you're a good guy, I know.

But, they ALL suck.

I'm sorry, it is just not possible for me to acknowledge any pacific-ten team as worth watching (unless I'm forced to by the silliness of the BCS).

Wait...I did mention about a month ago that Oregon had speed to burn, and it could possibly lead to a track meet like the BCS champeenship had never seen.

Paul would have to go search his comment archives to prove me right. But, it matters not.

What I expected was a 63-48 (ish) win by Auburn. What I got was what we all saw.

paul mitchell said...

Andy, Roderick is from Sactown, he can't help that he has never been to a real footbaw game.

Stanford? I swear I snorted all over the danged place at that one.

Andy said...

Well, I'll give Stanford their due. I can't remember exactly who it was, but once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, they had a QB that was worth warm spit.

I'm not sure of all the details, but I think his Daddy was a corch, or sumpin'.

It was WAY back.

paul mitchell said...

Andy, I hope you are talking about Jim Plunkett and not that homo from Denver?

Andy said...

I thought Jim Plunkett WAS a homo.

Andy said...

BTW...us SEC homers got not much room to talk.

We had Stabler.

paul mitchell said...

Maybe Plunkett was a homo, but danged he looks pretty good these days: http://liberalsmash.blogspot.com/2009/09/good-lord-jim-plunkett-looks-good.html

paul mitchell said...

Oh, and we had three other homos, too. Two brothers and a deddy.

Andy said...

Yeah, I remember that Plunkett post. I have an excellent memory. Occasionally.

"Two brothers, and a deddy..."

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

paul mitchell said...

Oh, and we had three other homos, too. Two brothers and a deddy.

Andy said...

Dude, I really did slack on SMQ this season. I had so much crap going on that I really didn't even get to watch much of the first 5 or 6 weeks of The Only Sport That Really Matters.

I was out of the loop, and didn't want to look more ridiculous than usual. I'm gonna give 'er a rip in September, though...if it ever gets here. I'm gonna try to come back "funny," though. Truth is, there wasn't much of the funny bangin' in the old head this season, due to factors which I will not discuss. Again.

But, there's ALWAYS next season.

I think you did a pretty good jarb on the cipherin'. I had done some myself a while back, which I just found on a tablet this morning.

Discount the "ranked teams" deal, and just go with "winning teams."

LSU played 10 teams with a winning schedule (Most in the SEC, but including the Aggies in the Cotton Bowl). Finished 11-2

Boise played 6 with a winning schedule (these all include the bowl results). Mostly in a weak conference.

TCU played 8 winning teams...in a better conference than Boise, but babyfied compared to the SEC.

Arkansas played 9 winning teams, but slopped their dripper. Honestly, O State is probably the best team in the nation outside the SEC.

Oregon played exactly 5 teams with a winning record, and should have been humiliated by Auburn (actually I think the BCS finale was Auburn's worst performance of the year).

All in all, I'd agree with your assessment...however, The Moog can claim rights due to the Hawg win over us. Regardless, it's pretty dang close. Good wrap-up...

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