I figured that since I had not posted one of these since September 2009, and not a single time in the last relationship that I was in, y'all deserved one.
Excerpt from an actual e-mail thread.
Me: Yeah, so I get this text message from this hot chick that I really want to crawl up on and she is like saying that she is all missing me and stuff. Do you think that this is a chick ploy to keep me interested until she can suck me dry of all life and make me hate everything again and curl up in a ball of quivering crying meat-Jello? Or maybe she just wants to see how much she can degrade me in front of other people and turn me into yet another insect that she winds up in her web of lies and deceit and slowly bleed me out? Or maybe I can even RISK a little bit of she actually does like me and desires some kind of twisted, demented circus monkey act where she slowly turns the crank on her organ as I dance for the enjoyment of the crowd and get peanuts?
Aw, Hell, since we are working out the sceNARios, maybe she is everything that I have ever wanted in a woman and will break her shinbones trying to please me in the hope that she can assuage her guilt of her past and prove to herself that she is a complete person that CAN actually bare her soul to another and take the bold leap forward to accomplish everything that she has always known was possible, but had never attempted to find during her quest to save all of the fallen people? OR WAIT!!! Maybe she thinks that I am actually the savior of her life and the guilt is eating her apart from the inside and she just wants someone to snatch her up and cuddle her and make her see that there is actually beauty in this world even though that very beauty confronts her every single morning when she looks into her magic mirror, yet she fails to see it because the mirror is not a mirror of truth, but one of evil that tells her that she is no good and that no one wants her.
Or........
Maybe there IS actually perfection in this world that I have been unwilling to see because I was too busy trying to be everything that everyone has always told me that I was supposed to be even though being those things hurt me and made me feel like less of a person because the decisions were no longer mine, but the desires of a nameless, faceless entity that was sent here to turn me away from the ideology that God made this world for me and my personal enjoyment and everything is here to serve that one very purpose. So, ultimately, maybe this woman was created solely for the purpose of being everything that I cannot be alone. Maybe she is the second part of the whole of me and I simply must have her near me in order to achieve the greatness that was meant for me.
I am hungry. I shall dine.
Her: I am about to call you but I wanted to say I am not technically breaking my promise.
Me: Uh, yeah, okay...
Prior Romance Lessons PART I, PART II, PART III, PART IV, PART V, PART VI, PART VII, PART VIII, PART IX, PART X, PART XI, PART XII, PART XIII, PART XIV, PART XV, PART XVI, PART XVII, PART XVIII, PART IXX, PART XX, PART XXI, PART XXII
Please take the time to comment.
1 comments:
Whew. That makes me tired.
Post a Comment