Saturday Headlines - This Ain't Good Atall...

This past week has been a doozy for Dumbass Obama. On Wednesday he released yet another doctored birth certificate in the hopes of drawing attention away from the FIRST IN HISTORY Press Conference from the Federal Reserve.

Plenty of folks were distracted, especially after the national media started pointing and talking about it. Seriously, I checked damn near every major media outlet on the entire interblarqs and NOTHING about The Bernanke having his presser. Since you did not see the Fed Presser, Ben said NO QE3!!!

There is no way around releasing the Hounds of QE3. The market will collapse without the 200 BILLION a month buying in. The Obama Feckless Team will say they are not flooding the market with useless greenbacks, but, they'll still be doing it. If not, watch the market at the end of June. And Barry will resign.

By the way, I have never noticed Mr. Obama looking as MANLY as he does in the photo here. I'm glad he borrowed the leather pouch from his hideous wife for this photo-op.

Here are the headlines from the week. Enjoy.

Timothy McVie was a Muslim sympathizing Moonbat. But, let's call him a rightwinger, mmmmkay?

President Dumbshit McIdiot is going to sue our way to lower gas prices.

But, but, but, the federal government takes TWENTY-FOUR times as much per gallon of gas than the oil companies receive!!!

And forcing companies to stop drilling is NOT the way to lower prices for petrol.

In Hawaii, where Obama's family fled to when they moved from the mainland to be with their Communist buddies, gas is almost five bucks a gallon.

Here are some more ideas that Barry has to bring down pump price. By the way, when it is time for the election, Barry will lift all restrictions on all drilling in the country is he is not in jail yet.

And why all this pressure on the need for fossil fuels? Because a bunch of enviro-terrorists that have been wrong on EVERYTHING.

So, while we are getting crushed by NOT INFLATION, we still are paying for Barry Obama to run hither and yon to Democrat fundraisers.

Of course, the President is RETARDED if he thinks that Nancy Pelosi is one of the finest Speakers of the House EVER.

Oh, yeah, tax the rich, they don't pay their "fair share." By the way, if we do not get rid of all the Democrats very soon, the rich will go extinct.

In case you were the last person on Earth that knew that President Feeble and his minions in the Dumbass Party were liars, here is a rundown.

My industry? Jimmuh Cartuh-esque. Even if we bounce the President Obama and the Democrats out of DC in 2012 completely, construction will not return to normal until 2015.

Obama went to Easter Service at a Hate on Whitey Church.

When Barry opened up the latest fake birth certificate, he really opened a can of worms with his past. Here are a few articles that were always available, but no one ever threw them out there. With a coupla' new ones thrown in for good measure.
Obama Past 1.
Obama Past 2.
Obama Past 3. He is not licensed to practice LAW? WTF?!?!?!
Obama Past 4. Radicals pay for Barry's college.
Obama Past 5. He was a miracle sent down from Heaven.
Obama Past 5. Obama is a Communist, so you are racist for hating him.
Obama Past 6. Barry's dad got kicked out of Harvard for serial womanizing? Well, shit, we don't have to worry about Barry doing that.
Obama Past 7. Wow, look at all the diversity of opinion at the Harvard Law Review. Do you think that they collaborated on Mein Kampf and Das Kapital, too?

In case you are curious, yes, balancing the budget without raising taxes is easily accomplished. Anyone that knows anything knows that. Of course, that excludes ALL "Progressives," because they do not know anything about anything under the moon.

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Nook Color - The Reader's Tablet

The Nook Color is out and Barnes + Noble wants me to sell it for them. Their image on the ad is for crap, but that is all they have. Weird. They are the weekly sponsor on the sidebar, hit 'em up, yo. Buy one of them bad boys. FOR. THE. CHILDREN. OR. YOUR. MOTHER.

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Barry's Army of Ridiculously Stupid Morons

When you take the time to check into the news of the day, you simply assume that there is absolutely no chance at all that there exists someone that is still so blind or stupid as to support the idiot leading the country today.

You would be wrong.

In about thirty-seven words, snowmaster11 proves that despite all the reams and reams of evidence the President is a moron, there are still people that try to get others to imagine that Barry Obama is something other than an imbecile.

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Muslim Chick, Sila Sahin Nude in Playboy - A Test (UPDATED!!!)

UPDATE: The post AND our homepage are on the first page of Teh Google, still not ranking on Bing or Yahoo on the first five.

I ran across a PERFECT test for our Search Engine Wars today at the Pirate's Cove. It seems that Sila Sahin is a hottie that decided to get all naked for Playboy. Sila Sahin nude is a perfect target because it is huge on the SERPs right now and she is smoking hot. This is Teh Google front page search for "Sila Sahin Nude" at the current moment. We are not ranked on Bing or Yahoo either because this chick's name has never been mentioned here ever.

Sila Sahin Nude.

This is the MoM edited version of the Playboy cover that features Sila Sahin nude. And here is the actual photo album that I created with Sila Sahin NUDE that is certainly NOT SAFE FOR WORK. Enjoy...

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The Thin Black Line - Obama's Upcoming Race Riots

With the release of the birth certificate, FINALLY, Obama has triangulated the parties involved and is preparing for the race riots that are bound to happen.

I told you that this would happen and this idiot would set race relations back 100 years if elected. I told you it would happen.

You see, the problem which we are dealing with is the very same that Libtards say happens with police when a black dude get shot by those very same police. Think about Rodney King. It is never about the actual occurance, it always has to be about skin color. Why do you think that black folks and "Progressives" support releasing cop-killer Mumia Abu-Jamal? It certainly NOT because he is not guilty of killing Daniel Faulkner, they want Mumia out because he is black. Mumia's guilt has NEVER been questioned. He killed a WHITE police officer, yet they want Mumia back walking the streets.

Also ignore the fact that Barry Obama is NOT your typical "black" person. He is at best half-black and never associated with black folks, except for Uncle Frank Marshall Davis, until college. He is basically like every, single spoiled middle-class kid in the country. Get to college and hang out with the idiots, get stoned, and skip classes. He admitted this in Dreams from my Father, but of course, no one READ the book. Plenty of folks bought it, but no one read it.

I read it before most people had ever heard of President Douchebag. And, I had posted on Obama when he was known as Senator Leftie McShitass. Granted, in my delve into his history in October 2005, I told y'all that he was too stupid to ever become relevant. I had the temerity to compare him to Rangel and McKinney!!! How wrong was I then?

So, why this post now? Because I have a couple of friends, that happen to be black, that will not even talk to me any more because of Barry Obama. These are people that I have known and hung out with for YEARS before they even heard of him. They are people that I considered some of my best friends in the world until Barry Obama showed up on their radar. So, because of Barry's skin color, skin on a dude that they have never met in their entire lives, they will no longer acknowledge my existence, a dude they have known for YEARS.

Not only that, but when I was saying the very same thing about Bill Clinton, as I am saying now about Barry, RAAAAACISM! was never brought into the conversation. These are friends of mine that have never bought a baby-killing, and would never consider it, they go to church on a regular basis, they have never lived on food stamps or government subsidies of any kind, and they are fine upstanding members of society that would never support the ideology of Barry Obama in any fashion, YET they voted for him.

What shall we call this total contradiction other than RAAAAACISM?

So, how is a WHITE person to debate something that is utterly unexplainable? Logic and rational thought do not enter into the equation, folks. I have no clue how to deal with this. When someone has been your friend for years and suddenly abandons that friendship because of some obscure black politician with whom they have nothing in common, and even when those very friends have never been involved with politics at any level until the BLACK GUY, we have a monumental problem.

I really have no idea how bridge that divide. Lyndon Johnson was right in everything that he did to keep the flames of Democrat racism alive.

But, since I am all about the math...

Since blacks only make up about twelve or thirteen percent of the population of this country, I believe that Republicans should come out and speak plainly, definitively to the national media and say, "To all of the black folks that are voting for Democrats simply because those voters want something from the government, we do not want you in the Republican Party. If you are not a deadbeat and you want something more for your life other than some kind of handout and to expect some kind of extra consideration because of the freaking color of your skin, then we want you in the Republican Party. Until you can set aside the racism that is endemic in your "black" community, you shall never have a place in the political debate in the Republican Party. Go beg from your racist masters at the Democrat National Convention."

Just my two cents. And I miss you guys, but I guess I was not that important to y'all because I am not dark enough.

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Barry Obama's Past - Bill Whittle Unravels the Mysteries

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Traffic Update

April 2011 has been the second highest traffic month in Your MoM's history. We experienced a TEN THOUSAND percent increase from last April, which was before we started the "Two Dogs' Patented Get Mo' Traffic" program. If we do the same year to year, we shall break the internet by 2012.

Wonder why the month with the fewest posts is the second highest traffic month? Odd. Y'all HATE ME.

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Earth Day : A Two Dogs, "Just So You Know" Post (UPDATED Twice!)

UPDATE: I just read this post and have no clue why I called the North Vietnamese "NORKS." But, just know that instead of North Koreans, I meant North Vietnamese. Same thing, little yellow people that hate ALL people.

While having a conversation this morning with a friend of mine, it became apparent that she was unaware of exactly how stupid and enslaving "Progressivism" really is. For me, everything in life originates from my personal philosophy of "Individuality, Freedom, and Liberty."

I do not give one shit what you do in your life, but I do care if you intrude on others. Especially me. To "legally" take my earnings to give to deadbeats that have never worked a day in their miserable, hate-filled lives, PISSES ME OFF.

All that above crap brings me to what Earth Day is and why it is.

April 22, Earth Day, is Vladimir Lenin's birthday. For those of you that attended public school within the last forty years and do not know this name, Lenin was the creator of the Soviet Communist Party, the "Progressive" Promised Land Party.

Throughout history, Communism is responsible for the deaths of around 200 million people worldwide. This number can never be solidified because "Progressives" have taken over the research branch of our world. They have a vested interest in covering up exactly how many people their ideology has killed.

What is Communism exactly? It is the subjugation of individual natural rights to the "betterment" of the collective. Simply put, there is no individual person considered ever in Communism, the philosophy is directed at the fulfillment of the desires of the PUBLIC GOOD. The term "Public Good" can NEVER be defined. And the goal post set by that standard continues to be moved indefinitely by the group in the charge at the minute.

Oceania is at war with Eastasia, we have always been at war with Eastasia. I mean Eurasia. Get it?

Now, the "PEACE" movement. The Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament was a group that advanced the theory of nuclear disarmament of EUROPE. Not of the world, mind you, but just of Europe. They wanted the Soviet Union to keep their NUKES. That is because they were so awesome in the USSR. Those European Communists originated the PEACE symbol which signifies a destroyed cross, because allegedly, Communists are all atheists. Kate Hudson, not the US actress, is the current General Secretary of the nuke disarmament group. You will see from her Wiki page that she is also a Communist.

In the 1960s, the "Peace" Movement, which is also Communist, began to demonstrate across the country against the war in Vietnam against the Norks, who were Communist. One of the most prominent activists at the time was a dude named Denis Hayes, who is currently the President of the Bullitt Foundation, a Communist front group from Seattle that promotes "environmentalism." (Dorothy Bullitt is tangential reading because of her Seattle media stronghold that is instrumental in promoting ALL THINGS "Progressive.")

Hayes also was one of those idiots that took time off from working and being a productive member of society to go backpacking around the world. Think he smoked WEED?

Denis Hayes went on to Harvard's Kennedy School of Batshit Dumbassery and stayed there until Senator Gaylord Nelson (Communist/Democrat-WI) asked him to put down the hash pipe and organize "Earth Day" in 1970. So, dumbass Denis dropped out, turned on, and hated the United States.

During the Obama I Administration, the Jimmuh Cartuh Era, Hayes became the head of the Solar Energy Research Institute, a part of Carter's new Department of Energy that was formed to reduce our dependence on foreign oil. I think that we all know how that has turned out, amirite?

Where this all leads at some point is to the final conclusion that if you are "Progressive," you are the source of all things evil in the world. The death of humans is your final goal. There is no way around that FACT. Abortion, environmentalism, atheism, Communism, hatred of freedom and capitalism, your desire to FORCE all people to do what you command at any point, your ObamaCare that will give the power of medical decisions to a nameless, faceless BOARD, your reverence when talking about the welfare mother, that has never worked a day in her life, your petitions against agri-business that feeds the world, your outlawing of DDT that eradicates mosquitoes and the subsequent diseases, your desire to return to a pre-industrial world, obviously without the wheel because you worship American Indians, your overwhelming NEED to reduce the wealth (by taxation) of those that are BETTER THAN YOU, your circular arguments with no end, your vilification of anyone that has a brain and practices independent thought, et al., ad infinitum.

Barry Obama is currently the titular head of your movement. Embrace him, he hates people.

Now, here is the way to HONESTLY try to convert people to your side of the political debate. If you are "Progressive," simply say, "I want to kill or enslave all people on Earth." See how many converts you collect with honesty.

Please share this post. Do it. You know you want to.

This has been a Two Dogs Public Service Announcement.

UPDATED AGAIN: I ran across this post about NPR talking about the FEAR of Communism being the real sticking point, not Communism being the sticking point, which brought back memories of THIS POST from Your MoM.

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Free Pizza and a Cutting Board Thingy - A Contest from Your MoM

I currently have, in my grubby little dickbeaters, not one, BUT TWO Freschetta pizza cutting boards from which to choose, PLUS! One free Freschetta "Simply Inspired" pizza. Yes, I am GIVING them away. GIVING!!! You can also go to Freschetta's FAILbook page and get a two buck coupon for a "Like."

But Your MoM is GIVING IT AWAY LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES!!!

Alls you has to duh is to sign up for my mailing list at the top right of my webbynet traffic blog. Those of you that have signed up since Wednesday, April 20th, 2011, do not need to sign up again. But, remember, I closed my last mailing list because I let it get away from me and I did not want to clear up my mess. Sign up if you want a free pizza and a cutting board. You can also e-mail me and I'll sign you up for the mailing list myself, like I do not have enough to do already. You are so lazy.

The contest begins TODAY, Friday April 22, 2011 and runs through the entire month of May. Then I'll get really, really drunk and pick the person with the funniest REAL name as the winnah!!! Or not. Maybe y'all should suggest how we pick the winnah?

But, anyhoo, dude, this pizza looks damned good and the Freschetta people just decided to give a few away and we all get the windfall from that.

Sign up for the mailing list and the free pizza thingy at the top right at the awesome traffic blog.

Disclaimer: If I ever spam you in any way, I'll get the biggest dude that I know to kick me in the nuts on You Tube. Promise.

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Yet Again, I Do NOT Care Anything About the Poor

The meme that has always come from the STUPID side of the political debate is that there are people that are LESS FORTUNATE than me and my peers. There could not be anything further from the truth. There are an untold number of anecdotes about a person born into poverty that has risen above their lot in life to achieve great things.

(Before we get all upside down on that, NO, Barry Obama is NOT one of them. Barry was NEVER on Food Stamps and was never poor. His WHITE grandMOTHER, that supported him for his entire life, was a bank vice-president. No, his WHITE grandFATHER was a deadbeat that never hit a lick at a snake.)

But, Dr. Thomas Sowell comes to mind, first and foremost.

Granted, the VAST majority of the folks born into poverty in this country stay in those conditions FOREVER. The reason for this is simple and was best expressed by Democrat Lyndon Johnson when figuring out how to cripple the black community. "When you take away the will of a man to work, you kill the will of the man."

The Biblical teachings on WORK are so very extensive that it is dumbfounding that instead of trying to promote a work ethic in idle folks, instead the "Progressive" tries to talk us into taking care of those "less fortunate." Simply Google to find those Biblical verses on 'gotta work to eat,' they are innumerable.

Why then have we gotten to the point of the "Progressives" wanting us to support over HALF THE DAMNED COUNTRY?

Plain and simple, theirs is the ideology of group identity, NOT individuality. They want everyone to be "equal," yet actually realize that we can never all be equally rich, we all have to be equally poor. Sorry, "Progressive" folks, I am never going to allow myself to be dragged down to your level. I AM BETTER THAN YOU.

The other motivating factor of the "Progressive" ideology is FEAR. Those idiots know that they can never be as good as the inventor, the discoverer, the trailblazer, and the pioneer, because "Progressives" do not possess the intelligence or ambition to be that kind of person. So NOBODY else can, either.

Daily we hear about some new government program designed to take OUR hard-earned money and give it to people that come from four generations of deadbeats. I'm done with that shit. Over and done. I am tired of reading stuff that tells me that the only profession that is adding jobs are federal government agencies. I am tired of reading about giving out more in entitlements than we take in in revenue. I am tired of seeing twenty year old morons actually talking about TAXING THE RICH and then turning around and asking where the jobs are. I am sick to death with the federal government raising minimum wage knowing full well that will explode unemployment and kick inflation into hyperdrive.

Minimum wage, food stamps, and a freaking Cadillac Escalade. That is what the poor are about in the United States. Holy shit.

And I am about to vomit knowing that at the end of June, the Fed will start QE3 just to keep the four big banks from going bankrupt.

Not only that, FUCK YOU MITT ROMNEY.

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Obamanomics: Up is Down, Cats are Dogs, PAC-10 is Footbaw

Or, "How to destroy the wealth of everyone on the planet..."

Ever since this idiotic assclown was tooling around on the tricycle that his grandmother bought for him, Barry Obama has proven beyond any doubt that "Progressives" are to be pitied for their utter stupidity.

Here's a brief history of the dumbest man to ever set foot in the White House.

I can find nothing definitive about him at all until around 1995. No school records, no birth certificate, just family yarns about how awesome he was and what he did. No one remembers him from college, the "friends" that he has written about dispute all he said, and there are no writings that he SHOULD have penned as President of the Harvard law Review. Nothing.

Then in 1995, he "wrote" a book and announced that he was running for a Senate seat in the Illinois State House. He announced that in the very same hotel that Harold Washington, a total dipshit, announced his bid for Mayor of Chicago. He was actually hand-picked for that seat by Alice Palmer, too. In case you are curious to what a stellar intellect Alice Palmer possesses, she lost the House race, that she quit her Illinois Senate job to attempt, to Jesse Jackson Jr. She makes Jerry Brown look smart and picked Obama, go figger.

The job that Obama held at this time was as Chairman of the Chicago Annenberg Challenge, which was obviously a non-profit formed to make public schools in Chicago suck and HARD. He was swimmingly successful at that job. As an aside, terrorist Bill Ayers was the main writer of the winning grant proposal for the Chicago Annenberg Challenge.

Moving on, the only way Obama won this State Senate seat was to get all the challengers removed from the ballot by various underhanded means. He had kissed enough ass by this point to have that leverage, too.

Obama went on to win an election to United States Senator in 2004 against Alan Keyes who was only in the race because Jack Ryan had to drop out. In case you are wondering, Jack Ryan would have slaughtered the dumbass Obama and we would never have heard from Barry again. But, NO.

Obama served in the US Senate from January 2005 to November 2008 and was ranked "The Most Liberal Senator" by the National Journal every year. In other words, "The Dumbest Senator" of the 100.

But, Barry somehow, some way won the Presidency, despite the fact that he was the DUMBEST Senator during his tenure.

But anyhoo, the Democrats were sworn in as the majority of the Congress in January 2007. The Party of Perpetual Stupidity has been running the show in DC since then. As you can see, since Barry has been President in January 2009, the DJIA is up a whopping 50.21%. But, since the Democrats took over DC in January 2007, with Barry in the Senate, the DJIA is perfectly 0.33%. A third of ONE percent. So nothing.

Same thing with the S&P, too. Since Barry has been President, the S&P is kicking ass around 56.57% and since the Democrats ran the show, -5.58%. So nothing.

What in the Hell is up with that, y'all? I'm going to tell you.

The very first thing that the Democrats did when they took control was jack up minimum wage. That doesn't do a damned thing for those people that are actually making minimum wage, because costs go up to cover that artificial increase in labor costs. But, it devastates the income of all other people that make more than minimum wage because EVERYTHING costs more. In case you are not math-y or anything, the Democrats increased the wages of the lowest paid people in the country by a WHOPPING FORTY PERCENT!!!

Oh, and Old Folks on Social Security, no COLA increases because that is tied to INFLATION. Yeah, the dairy farmer is having to pay an additional forty percent for his labor, so the cost of milk has to go up forty percent, but NO! There is no inflation at all!!! Sorry, Gramma, you gotta eat the Alpo!

Also, after Barry became President, some stuff that was normal in economic circles got turned on its head. Just yesterday, the S&P downgraded the United States from "Stable" to "Negative." And of course, President Dumbshit McStupidhead tried to talk them out of it, despite the fact that he is Hellbent on ruining our economy.

Crude oil is over one hundred ten dollars a barrel and Saudi just announced they were reducing production because there is a GLUT of oil on the market. Premium unleaded just broke the FIVE DOLLAR MARK in some areas. And oddly enough, crude is now higher than when Goldman, who has benefited wildly from Obamanomics, downgraded crude.

These hikes in oil prices could be exacerbated because Obama has bungled the drilling problems in the Gulf of Mexico. That makes his failure rate, so far, ONE HUNDRED PERCENT ON EVERYTHING since he was inaugurated.

Now, Barry is attacking the coal industry, too.

That brings to mind this.


And remember, the dumbass that hand-picked Obama to take her place in the Illinois State Senate, lost her United States Representative race to this idiot. Palmer, who hand-picked Obama to replace her, was dumber than Jesse Jackson Jr. Amazing.

Now, you may wonder how it is possible, with all the horrendous decisions that Barry Obama has made on the economy, that the stock market is still rattling on where it is.

If you will notice from the charts above, there were certain times that the market appeared to start scaling back, only to surge again. Those times were called QE, QELite, and QE2. These were targeted at banks "Too Big To Fail." In a very strange coincidence, those very banks donated money to Barry Obama's presidential campaign at rates higher than ever reached in the history of our country.

Those banks BOUGHT Barry Obama. The four banks involved in this payoff are JP Morgan, BoA, Citi, and Goldman. They are also who Barry rails on on a daily basis. They gave him permission. They OWN him.

What is QE, QELite, and QE2? It is the Federal Reserve Bank pumping untold TRILLIONS into the banks that own Barry Obama to keep them kicking the market can down the road. QE was 30 BILLION a month. QE2 was 200 BILLION a month or a little more than 30 BILLION a week. What happens when that money is cut off?

HUGE MARKET CRASH. Total depression. No way around it.

Now, QE2 ends in June. Obama is going to ram through QE3. There is no way around it.

Just as there is no way around the complete economic meltdown that HAS to come at some point in the future.

Final passing thought. The unfunded liability of Social Security is right around FIFTY-FOUR TRILLION DOLLARS. That money doesn't exist, the Democrats spent it years ago.

But, check in on ABC, CBS, NBC, MSNBC, The New York Times, HuffPo or CNN and the Obama Magic Economy is rebounding. ALL. IS. WELL.

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Early Tech Links for the Week

Since I have jacking around with autoresponders, squeeze pages, blog templates, and an endless list of stuff today, I dug into the tech blogs to find some stuff and hit upon a treasure trove of smart things that everyone needs to know.

I cannot count the number of times that I have looked for webbyblog information in the past and found an obscure blog that is chunking out the hacks and tricks that made things so easy for me. Basil has been invaluable with help, too.

Sidebar: If you ever need to know how to watch a specific show on television, on a specific night, e-mail Basil. He knows how to get to it. Don't believe me, just check this out.

Anyhoo, the traffic studies that I have been doing in my downtime have been a wild success. I am almost back up to the point that we were back in August. Traffic is a little off, but well within the margin of error. I am producing a white paper to tell what I did and how I did it. If you want that white paper, you gotta sign up with me to get it. By the way, those of you that have already signed up, you need to sign up again because I am so stupid that I changed e-mail services without grabbing my danged list, sooooooo, go HERE to do it. Top right, yo.

On to the Tech Stuff....

Big news this last week was an e-mail from Google to all legacy Blogspot blog owners that those accounts are shutting down if they are inactive or have not been upgraded. I have a couple of friends that stand to lose everything if they do not upgrade their blogs or at least freaking post.

I wondered why Google had decided to do this until I saw this post from them today on the re-re-redesign of the Blogger in Draft. Being someone that immediately embraces changes in technology, to the point of madness, I switched to Blogger in Draft right when they launched it. I am pretty much like that with everything, too. (Except for the blogroll on the sidebar.)

In Google Mobile News, here is a list of the Android phones getting Gingerbread.

Docs has released a pagination feature. More at the Google Docs blog.

Google Calendar celebrates five years. Yes, I started using it way back then, too. But, with an Android phone, Calendar becomes ten times more useful. And the Favicon changes every day.

Analytics has added a new Help Center. I have yet to use this service because Analytics is so damned easy to use that I can't comprehend needing to use F1.

Goo.gl has also added some new features, like removing stuff from your dashboard. Just so you know, I do not use any other shortening service and I am kinda uneasy about doing that. Focusing all my online direction toward Google is akin to taking my eggs and placing them all in the same basket. (Yes, I just made that line up. You can use it if'n you wanna.)

Gmail rolls new stuff out every week now. They have a list of stuff that they have corrected. I really like the Windows-type, "Are you sure you want to trash this?" message.

You can also add new custom background images in Gmail. I am very sure that this will come in handy if you have (or are) a vagina.

How about Gmail's new UNDO mobile feature? Kinda clunky, but some folks do not ever check their e-mail on their computer at all. I like to call these folks, "MOH-RONS."

Google Toolbar has been updated. Who didn't know about Alt-G, though?

Check out the new Mapmaker thingy. You can add stuff to the Google Maps and complete addresses and stuff in your 'Hood. I added the address, phone number, and e-mail of Kingfish, including the time of day that you can find him at certain places around Jackmalia.

In case you were wondering, Google Search added "Reading Levels" on the sidebar so our President can find stuff to read and stutter about. Solely for his Crackberry, Google added a https: setting especially for Barry Obama that allows the reading level, "Wetbrain."

Here's an update on Google's long awaited OS. The review is less than glowing. If you base your opinions on what I write, just know that Google did NOT let me in the test group for the tablets, so there is THAT.

I have a content post at Paul Mitchell Affiliates called Four Keys to Killer Articles. Check it out when you go over there to register for the Two Dogs Killah Traffic Getting White Paper.

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The Nation and Two Dogs Discuss the Policies of Obamanomics

Jeff G posted a link to a Democrat Fuzzy Math post that reminded me of a conversation that I had with The Nation a few days ago. Please keep in mind that The Nation is a mutual fund wholesaler with a degree in Finance from The Barn.

The Democrat economic policy goes something like this...

A stranger comes into town and heads directly to the hotel to check in for the night. He pays for his room with a crisp new one hundred dollar bill and heads to his room.

Immediately after the stranger leaves the room, the hotelier takes the C-Note and runs to the laundry across the street to pay his cleaning bill. His account is paid.

The cleaner immediately takes that $100 and runs across the street to pay his outstanding bill at the appliance repair shop for services performed.

The repairman in turn takes the Benjamin and heads to the banker to pay his debt for tools purchased.

The banker skips over to the redlight district to pay his whore for services rendered.

The prostitute in turn goes to the hotel to settle up her debt for hourly usage of rooms.

Just after the streetwalker leaves the hotel, the original stranger comes back to the lobby and demands his $100 back because obviously the hotel is used for prostitution and his sheets are NASTY.

Even though the original hundred returned directly to the beginning point, all debts in the town were paid and no one actually made a profit.

Such is the nature of "Progressive" ideology. Create no wealth for anyone and everyone is equally destitute until someone they do not know pays all their bills.

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Today in Obamanomics News and the Overwhelming Stupidity of All Things "Progressive"

Since our national media has claimed that Barry Obama is the Smartest President in History, we have to assume that everyone that has taken a very basic mathematics course is completely stupid. Or, we have to assume that our media was complicit in electing the dumbest dumbass ever foisted upon the world. Pick one, they cannot both be right.

Anyhoo, the problem with our media is that they are truly believers in the "Progressive" ideology and will go to no limits to make sure their side is shown in the best possible light. Such is the case with Special Ed on MSNBC when he points out that Democrats allegedly took control of DC in January 2009. Actually, Democrats took control of DC in January 2007, and then promptly jacked up the minimum wage, plunging us into this economic abyss. Granted, W. Bush signed that stupidity into LAW, but only because he could not win that debate over why minimum wage is a terrible idea.

Now, what exactly is the fallout from that hideous mistake? Let's take a quick look-see.

Because they jacked up the lowest wage earner's pay, and by default, made everyone other than those lowest wage earners salaries worth much less, the housing market immediately took a nose-dive because normal people's salaries were slashed by having to pay increasingly more for stuff. Of course, the moron media thinks that things somehow, someway, have been getting better. They actually claim the housing market MIGHT experience a "double-dip." They believe this despite the FACT that in order to have a double-dip, prices must have had to move back upward in the past. They have NOT.

The national media goes so far as to promote the policies of the LOSER Vice President under Jimmuh Cartuh. And to forward the idea that the Tea party folks are radicals.

And not only that, jobless claims continue to explode, even though more and more people are falling from the rolls of the unemployed because they have exhausted their unemployment. Coupled with rising inflation, this is a recipe for disaster. Just like it HAS ALWAYS BEEN IN THE PAST. But, Barry Obama's backers are not old enough or smart enough to actually remember or know this.

Of course, when this very same economic plan was put into place in the 1970s under Jimmy Carter, the EXACT SAME THINGS HAPPENED. When Obama was elected, running on the same tired, worn out "Progressive" ideology, the smart people immediately ran to gold investing. JUST LIKE WHEN CARTER WAS PRESIDENT. When "Progressive" ideology is implemented, the rich get massively richer, and everyone else goes broke.

Jeff offers his take on the S&P downgrade like only he can. But, I'm still pissed with the lack of Billy Jack over there lately.

Of course, the University of Tejas is in Austin. Austin is the most liberal city in Tejas, too. Shocker there.

Also, the national media, after electing President Dumbshit McDouchebag, starts asking for more and more taxes on the job-producing folks.

Funny though, the little pissant Emo libtards do not want to be "Progressive" with their college grades. I actually hate to tell them this, but everyone else in your Womens Studies 402 class has a 4.0, too. If they were in Cal IV, the grades might be a little different, but "Progressives" do not take classes that matter.

But, why would we ask the rich to pay still more? Because unicorn farts come from soaking the rich.


Hey! I have a great idea! Since the United States is rapidly approaching bankruptcy, how about we bail out some of those FAILING Obamunist countries across Europe?

Did y'all see the debate raging a couple of weeks ago with the Party of Perpetual Stupidity and the Republicans over the 2010 budget that the Imbecile Party never got around to passing? The Dumbassacrats refused to agree to anything if it did not include baby slaughter. Full Metal Patriot asks the obvious questions about the Party of Ghoulish Killahs. The only question that he missed was, "Are your heads so freaking dense that refrigerator magnets fly off and stick to them when you walk through the kitchen?"

On Obama's financial/economy speech. I wonder if Stanley Ann Dunham had any kids that were NOT born braindead?

Representative Paul Ryan (R-WI) tees off on Barry's stupid economy speech. Ryan ought not make fun of the mentally challenged.

But, here is Ryan making Barry look like the assclown that he is.

Pundit Press shows Ryan solving the Medicare/Medicaid shortfall. No unicorns and rainbows were even used!!!

Speaking of the economy and the crushing federal debt, Iowahawk chimes in.

Malkin brings up Food Stamps. The fun part of this is that to Democrats, public schools are successful only when every student is on the free lunch program.

The future effects of Obamanomics.

Dan Mitchell (no relation) brings up the failure of the Internal Revenue Service. Can anyone tell me of any government successes in recent history? How about in the last 150 years?

To end this on a high note, these are the people and actions that President Douchey McImbecile hates. Old white folks that love the military. Thanks for your service in youth and in old age, guys. Y'all are the Bees Knees.



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Image stolen, hook, line, and sinker, from The Conservative Monster.

It's Like Sunday and All, Over a Week with No Post...

Over a week ago, I told y'all that I was going to start posting regularly again, but I got distracted with traffic experiments and checking some stuff out and I thought I would give y'all some more ideas about raking in visitors to your blogs. Currently, there are about thirty or so folks that come here on a daily basis, entering on the main page. I guess those are the folks that are part of our family, but have not embraced the Google Reader or another RSS reader service. I did that very same entering on the main page thing, too, about five years ago.

Now, performing traffic studies from regular visitors and commenters really does us no good to expand our reach in our little clique, we are looking for new folks, amirite? There are way more than a couple of ways to accomplish this task, too, but we want something that is fast and reliable. I think that I have found something that works and seems so very easy to do.

About a year ago, I started looking into the stuff that drives traffic. I signed up with all kinds of marketing services and subscribed to webbynet blogs to find the key. The MAGIC BULLET, so to speak. Of course, just watching what Glenn Reynolds does would be enough for most people, but how many linkfest blogs do you think that the blogosphere can support? Anyhoo, when I started with the studying, I was averaging less than five hundred hits a day, then ramped that up to about 200k in the month of July of 2010. Then I realized that I was getting non-specific search engine traffic, which again, did us no good for what we wanted, so I cut that crap out.

What I wanted was daily traffic in the 5000 range, but with multiple pageviews. That means, 2500 unique hits, but with two pages viewed per visit. I wanted the readers to stay here and hang out, maybe make some comments, and tip their hat a time or two. We are not at 5k a day yet, but the visitors are beginning to visit more than just the landing page. That is what we want.

I tried a link building service which just so happened occurred at the same time that my blog got marked as spam because someone figured out my mobile posting log-in. That was pretty easy to do when I made it "MEANOLMEANY." How stoopid was that? So, I got bumped back to about sixty hits a day from search engine traffic for a minute.

This is the Sitemeter look-see at the end of last week. I shot this early on Friday, the image below was shot a few seconds later. What we see is that close to a third of our hits look at more than one page. Close to what we want. The traffic is also pretty stable with relatively few posts. Constantly posting really doesn't matter, HUH? Couple that minor Teh Google slap with the fact that I have only posted eighteen times since February.

Statcounter is a better traffic service, it has more information to let you see what traffic you get, what keywords people entered to get to your site, what links they clicked and the hot areas of your content they read. It is pretty much the same as Sitemeter, just more detailed. Of course, if I need a quick idea, Sitemeter is what I check. Old habits die hard, you know?

What I have noticed is this, making a well placed comment on a very high traffic blog or website and including a link to a relevant post sends folks right over. I tried this on a slow news day, Saturday, and dropped a link to an old post that gets very few visitors, just to see how it worked. It takes a day or two for the hits to come, especially linking in a Saturday post comment section, but that technique works swimmingly.

Yet another traffic building technique that builds goodwill, and in turn your network, is linking other folks' blogs. Stacy McCain has pimped this idea throughout the political blog circle and pretty much everyone is all up in some Rule 5. Of course, logic tells you that most folks just want to look at hot chicks in bikinis, but pretty much everyone benefits from the circular linkage. Teh Google likes some direct links to posts, but do you really want your link juice to be to your bikini posts or Sarah Palin NUDE? Or G_d forbid, Helen Thomas NUDE? That might get you an "adult" (or in Andy's case, a HOLY SHIT ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!?!) tag with search engines.

Oh, always acknowledge the folks that link you. This is getting exceedingly hard for me to do because I do not have the time to keep looking around for those links. It is simple with Blogger to see the other folks on Blogger that are linking you because it is right at the bottom of the post, but cross platforms kinda do not work well. Create a Google Alert for your site by entering "link:yourshittyblog.com" into the Google Alert box and adding email notifications to that alert. It is not perfect, but usually it works.

Get DAILY notifications, too. Then you know that:

William Teach linked your blog, not just once, but twice in the last two weeks.

That Dean is kinda busy today, but recommended your mediocrity, anyway. And for sure link back to the stuff of theirs that you find interesting, like Pelosi and Charlie Sheen.

And not only do the guys at Pundit Press have a fetish for Salma Hayek, but they like the Da Newz that you have a fetish for, too.

If you have friends that like talking about male genitalia and Donald Trump, link that stuff, too. Granted, that might get you an "adult" tag, as well.

But, now I am fiddling around with the old skool Trackbacks and trying to integrate that with Blogger. I found this html add for it, too. BUT! You gotta have Disqus installed. (See what I did right there? Remember?)

And I found this "TWO DOGS" video amusing. But, I wish to Hell that You Tube would quit FAILbooking up their linkage stuff every danged week.



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A post about why I have been irregular with the posting...AND! Da Newz!

As most of y'all know, I have had a couple of headbutt run-ins with Comcast that has left my interwebz kinda intermittent. Hopefully, that is in the past. I do now have WIRELESS interblarq at my house. After a solid month. They has still yet to bury the cable in my yard, though. I am kinda freaked out that they didn't just hook directly into the existing cable in my house though. The new cable comes into the crib less than eight inches away from the one that was already here. Strange.

But, since this has turned into a "political" blog instead of the humor blog that it has always been, I had to back up and try to refocus on the things that we originally set out to accomplish. Anyhoo, on to the bashing of the Retarded President...

If you need any MORE proof of his incompetence, just look at this footbaw form. Right straight from the Lesson Plan of a six year old girl's diary. Holy shit, do you believe that there exists one human in the world that thinks that Barry is even remotely athletic?

Oh, his sport is basketball? Having only marginally played the game for a relatively short time, I would stuff the ball down his pencil neck throat over and over again. Barry Obama is a punk. He is the guy that leans against the lamppost outside the malt liquor bar and screams sexual obscenities at the young men that flounce by. A punk with no intellectual curiosity and a negative curve of upper body strength.

Let's check in on the happenings since we last spoke.

Food Stamp usage, a patently unconstitutional idiotic program, has increased by THIRTY PERCENT since The Moron was inaugurated. Surprised? You shouldn't be. This is exactly what happens when Democrats are elected. EVERY TIME.

By the way, according to President Dipshit, the FUTURE of electrical power is the technology from over 150 years ago. Again, this is not surprising. Democrats do not understand math, history, language, or science. Barry refuses to look into the REALITY of wind power. And in the off chance that Barry is having someone with an IQ exceeding 40 read this blog post to his dumb ass, here is some actual DATA for normal people to peruse.

By the way, Barry is doing EXACTLY what Jimmy Carter did thirty years ago. His concept is to cross his fingers and HOPE really hard that something CHANGES that allows us to refuse to deal with reality. In case you are wondering what Barry will be doing in thirty years, he will probably be heading to the places that HATE HATE HATE the United States IF the US survives four years of Barry.

And do you actually realize why the "Progressives" want to return to camel transportation and powering our lives with cow turds? It is because of their "faith" in global warming. No, I have no clue how "Progressives" survive a normal day when they are so absolutely stupid as to defy all possibility of them surviving a bath. They are so stupid that we had to start putting tags on electrical appliances so "Progressives" would not bathe with the toaster.

On the economy front, the very thing that everyone knew was happening four years ago, is finally getting airplay. Lemme just say, anyone that did not know that increasing minimum wage by almost fifty percent was going to have a calamitous effect on our economy doesn't need to leave the insane asylum.

Here's the shorter version of Barry's plan for the economy. It is hard to get around the point that Barry really doesn't understand that money COMES FROM SOMEWHERE. But, remember, Barry is the SMARTEST "Progressive." That means that he is an idiot.

Oh! Look at the comparison of the media coverage of W. Bush and President Moonbat. In case you are unaware, unemployment has increased by forty percent with President Changy McDumbass and gas has doubled.

Now, some simple observations on where to save some tax money. There are currently about 150MM people working in this country. We are carrying the load for a total of 330MM people, PLUS about 40MM illegal Mexicans, the majority of whom collect WELFARE. The "Progressives" say that those criminal Mexicans come here to work, but nothing could be further from the truth, they come here because they are criminal freeloaders.

There is a looming government shutdown coming today if the DC idiots do not figure out how to get blood from a turnip. Even the Republicans are proposing MORE spending. Now, keep in mind, this is the BUDGET FROM LAST YEAR. The budget that was never passed with a FULLY Democrat Congress and President Dumbo in charge. To blame this shutdown on Republicans is DISHONEST.

But, in good news, Paul Ryan, the mancrush of all normal people, has decided to be an honest, responsible adult and release a REAL BUDGET for 2012.

Dan Mitchell, no relation, on the Ryan plan v. the Obama stupidity.

Goldstein on the Ryan plan.

Marathon Pundit has the Ryan budget video, which is almost pr0n to normal people.

Also in the good news, the 1099 economy-crushing insert of ObamaCare, has been repealed and it appears that Dumbshit McStupidass will sign it. Whew! That was due to start this year and I would have closed my business doors instantaneously if it did.

It appears that the Democrats are going to shut down the government over Planned Parenthood funding. We did always know that the main platform for Democrats was baby slaughter, though. I have always wondered why Democrats hate human beings so much, since they are SUPPOSED to be humans...

Dean has a three part series on The American Roadmap. Part One...Part Two...Part Three.

Not all Democrats are in the Klan, but every Klansman is a Democrat.

And when the Democrats are looking for someone to lead their party, they go by IQ. The lower, the better. The only way they could have been MORE successful is to hire Donna Ladd from the JFP or Cynthia Tucker from the AJC.

Is there some kind of prerequisite to be a leader chick in the Democrat Party you have to be ugly enough to scare the maggots off a gut wagon? Here's the latest in a LOOOOOONG line of Democrat chicks that could make you unhungry when they brought the sammich. Damn!!! Kloppenburg is Geddy Lee!!!

More humor later. Promise....

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April Fools

 Not a joke, these are really fools and it is really April.  I am pretty sure that we can all agree by now?

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