Saturday, May 21, 2005

Mean Ol' Meany's Lesson On Liberal Grandiosity and Self-Righteousness

I, my friend, am a capitalist. Every great invention, without fail, has been developed with basically the same purpose in mind, TO MAKE MONEY. While many people of lesser intelligence fail to recognize this FACT, others in the know simply assume that there are no people stupid enough NOT to know this. Alas, Einsteins, you are wrong.

My friend, Erik, has a post that presents an extremely narrow-minded idea that South Koreans have made progress in the field of Embryonic Stem Cell research. As if the frigging South Koreans could dig their head out of their ass without United States money.

For simplicity I will use the acronym, "CRAP", for "Embryonic Stem Cell Research".

Two Dogs wields the CLUE BAT.

You see, most Leftists continue to spew the drivel that there is a ban on "CRAP". Nothing could be further from the truth. While there is minimal funding for "CRAP", there IS funding that is simply restricted to research on the existing strains of cells. What? You didn't know this? Surprise, surprise. From what is continually frothed from the notoriously dishonest Main Stream Media, from this point referred to as LIARS, there has been a mewling so loud that you would think that George W. Bush was raping children, even though George W. Bush lifted the "ban" on embryonic stem cell research put in place by the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, Bill Clinton.

Yes, you damn dolts, your poster boy for all that is good and right in this world "banned" stem cell research by not putting one red cent towards this panacea of cure-all of every damn thing that plagues the human race.

LIARS want you to think that "CRAP" is the key to all cures for all diseases ever created by GWB. Yes, all cancer, mental disorders, physical handicaps, and the like were let upon the human race by none other than George W. Bush. Yes, he is the reincarnation of Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, and Menudo.

Here it is folks, while I am not a scientist or researcher, I am for the most part an incredibly intelligent person. This is not a boast, this is a FACT. Here's the rub. If there was any chance that there was a cure for cancer lurking in the studies of "CRAP", do you not think that all of the pharmaceutical companies would be going all out to put together this research? Damn, Viagra alone brought in a whopping eleventy-sixty grazillion dollars and all it does is give a dude a woody.

You see, Gomer, these very same evil corporations are in business to make a profit. Don't you realize that if they could cure cancer with "CRAP", they would make a killing? Not only would they actually make a helluva lot of money, then they would have even more people alive to sell the blessed Viagra. And the viscious profit cycle continues.

You dripping wet brain Liberals could not find the truth if it swam up to you in the damn bathtub and bit you on your rainbow colored thong. Please at least try to go buy a frigging clue if you decide to open your pie-hole.

Oh, and Erik, the only reason that other countries snicker or laugh at the United States of America is because every other country secretly wants to be us. Please don't forget this fact as you lay down in your California King bed, drive your Lexus to the grocery store, and decide which of the 678 channels on your satellite that you want to watch. Oh, and if other countries continue to laugh and scoff at the US, we might turn off their electricity, let them starve to death, and forbid them to use our internet. Where will they get their homosexual midget-animal pr0n then?

OBLIGATORY UPDATE:

Erik posted a quite lengthy comment and I felt that there might be a little confusion from others, so I thought that I might post part of my subsequent comment here to maybe straighten out some stuff.

There is NO BAN on stem cell research. For anyone to say there is, is a complete out and out lie. There is NO BAN at all on stem cell research even on new strains. There simply will be no Federal money spent on new strains. The lack of Federal money is NOT A BAN. Just as a lack of increasing funds is NOT a cut. I know, I know, that is what you have been taught, but trust me, Kemosabe, that's just more Liberal Stupidity.

To continue to completely take apart your argument step-by-step quite easily: Since I have never heard one whisper of your so-called "Big Argument" (big argument by conservatives against this research is that "we haven't found anything yet"), I can't even begin to dissect it. I guess that it hasn't been spoken too often and it doesn't seem to me to be anything of significance (or either more LIARS stories). And to push that paragraph further, I guess that since Clinton's White House actually had a "ban", they should be completely blamed for the hindrance of the Magic Bullet ("CRAP") studies. You see, the guy (CHIMPY MCBUSHITLER) that you are blaming for the lack of research actually lifted the ban from the former dim-wit (LECHEROUS BILL) in the White House. So I would venture to say that your anger is directed at conservatives because your emotions (THEY ARE NOT RIGHT OR WRONG, JUST FEELINGS) tell you that it is the right thing to do. If you will crank your brain for one second you will see the error of your feelings. (or shall I say, complete, teetotal lack of thought) It is Liberals (Clinton) that you should be mad at.

And to try to explain the point of Capitalism to you (LEFTISTS) will take forever, but here's a condensed version. (At least of this topic) The most brilliant scientific minds are not employed by government. They are in private industry. You fail to acknowledge the FACT that these guys run circles around the researchers (read professors) employed at state institutions. They decide the path of research to provide the most return on their time and money. And yes, they probably have an idea of what they are looking for when they decide to study things. You see there are certain logical things that they depend on called FACTS and EXPERIENCE (KNOWLEDGE, NOT FEELINGS) that lead them to develop theories. They kinda eschew that touchy, feeling stuff.

This post is Linked by The Carnival of the Vanities, HERE.

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6 comments:

Erik Grow said...

First, you ARE correct that it's only a ban on federal funding for new lines of stem cells. I already knew that. It is referred to as the "stem cell research ban" because it takes about a quarter the time it would take to say the whole thing every time. Perhaps it should be stated every time. Take it up with Fox News too, because they also do it. The effect is still that it is possible cures being thrown out because of ideology, and that's not right in my opinion.

As for research being done, there is a lot being done, especially in California. I also find it funny that a big argument by conservatives against this research is that "we haven't found anything yet". Yeah, so you have hindered progress on it, and then you say "well, it isn't working, let's scrap it". Very convenient.

You said: "If there was any chance that there was a cure for cancer lurking in the studies of "CRAP", do you not think that all of the pharmaceutical companies would be going all out to put together this research?" So now they know what is possible before they research it? Wow, the most brilliant scientists in history! They know what they will find BEFORE they try to find it! No wait, that would make them conservatives...

Two Dogs said...

Erik, again you have completely missed the point, totally. There is NO BAN on stem cell research. For anyone to say there is, is a complete out and out lie. There is NO BAN at all on stem cell research even on new strains. There simply will be no Federal money spent on new strains. The lack of Federal money is NOT A BAN. Just as a lack of increasing funds is NOT a cut. I know, I know, that is what you have been taught, but trust me, Erik, that's bullshit.

To continue to completely take apart your argument step-by-step quite easily: Since I have never heard one whisper of your so-called "Big Argument", I can't even begin to dissect it. I guess that it hasn't been spoken too often and it doesn't seem to me to be anything of significance. And to push that paragraph further, I guess that since Clinton's White House actually had a "ban", they should be completely blamed for the hindrance of the Magic Bullet studies. You see, the guy that you are blaming for the lack of research actually lifted the ban from the former dim-wit in the White House. So I would venture to say that your anger is directed at conservatives because your emotions tell you that it is the right thing to do. If you will crank your brain for one second you will see the error of your feelings. It is Liberals (Clinton) that you should be mad at.

And to try to explain the point of Capitalism to you will take forever, but here's a condensed version. The most brilliant scientific minds are not employed by government. They are in private industry. You fail to acknowledge the FACT that these guys run circles around the researchers (read professors) employed at state institutions. They decide the path of research to provide the most return on their time and money. And yes, they probably have an idea of what they are looking for when they decide to study things. You see there are certain logical things that they depend on called FACTS and EXPERIENCE that lead them to develop theories. They kinda eschew that touchy, feeling stuff.

Anyway, I hope this helps clear your obvious confusion, but somehow I doubt it. Oh, and lighten up a little bit, you Liberals are always so uptight.

Shamalama said...

Today we're hearing about H. R. 810, known as the "Stem Cell Research Enhancement Act", introduced into the House of Representatives by Mike Castle (R-Del) and Diana DeGette (D-Col). You can read the text at http://thomas.loc.gov/

The Act would allow the federal government to fund embryonic stem cell research using any embryos "leftover" from assisted reproduction. It would largely undo President Bush's restrictive embryonic stem cell policy. Read the article at The Center for Genetics and Society.

Last week, Mr. Bush reiterated his position on the Castle-DeGette bill. "I made it very clear to Congress that the use of federal money, taxpayers' money to promote science which destroys life in order to save life is - I'm against that," he said. "And therefore, if the bill does that, I will veto it."

The Bush administration has never banned stem cell research. Not in the least. It's an urban legend perpetuated by the media. What's got Ron's panties in a bunch is that the Bush administration has banned federal funding for embryonic stem cell research. And that's a phrase you will NOT hear from the media.

The media tends to glide over the word embryonic when they speaks of stem-cell research, which allows them to leave the impression that the Bush Administration has not funded stem-cell research in general. This is a bald-faced lie, yet most Americans believe the lie.

If these pharmaceutical and biotech companies thought there was so much promise in stem cell research that they could come up with a cure for Alzheimer's or diabetes or whatever, don't you think they'd be pouring billions of their own money into research for it? Can you imagine what a drug like that would be worth? The pharmaceutical and biotech companies would want no federal intervention so that they could reap billions of dollars in profits.

So why hasn't any major pharmaceutical and biotech companies done anything about it?

Though embryonic stem cell research advocates euphemistically refer to the current state of research as an "early stage," the unfortunate reality is the goal of embryonic stem cell therapies is, at this point, more accurately described as a pipe dream. No researcher is anywhere close to significant progress in developing practical embryonic stem cell therapies.

I, personally, haven't decided on this research stuff. But I do have problems with my tax dollars funding it. If you like it, then you fund it. Why must you take dollars out of my pocket, by force, when I don't even know if I want it? It is that reason alone (Why must you take dollars out of my pocket when I don't even know if I want a particular program?) that I do not like the liberals. Can't you liberals even exist without the all-important federal funding? Can't we do anything in this country without federal funding?

KR said...

Too many people talk about things they know nothing about. My big toe knows more about stem cells that 99% of the world population--and I know enough to know I don't know shit. Every asshole as an opinion. Its too bad most of them are uninformed.

Two Dogs said...

Well, what is your take on government funding of medical research in the stem cell vein?

Shamalama said...

Today we're hearing about H. R. 810, known as the "Stem Cell Research Enhancement Act", introduced into the House of Representatives by Mike Castle (R-Del) and Diana DeGette (D-Col). You can read the text at http://thomas.loc.gov/

The Act would allow the federal government to fund embryonic stem cell research using any embryos "leftover" from assisted reproduction. It would largely undo President Bush's restrictive embryonic stem cell policy. Read the article at The Center for Genetics and Society.

Last week, Mr. Bush reiterated his position on the Castle-DeGette bill. "I made it very clear to Congress that the use of federal money, taxpayers' money to promote science which destroys life in order to save life is - I'm against that," he said. "And therefore, if the bill does that, I will veto it."

The Bush administration has never banned stem cell research. Not in the least. It's an urban legend perpetuated by the media. What's got Ron's panties in a bunch is that the Bush administration has banned federal funding for embryonic stem cell research. And that's a phrase you will NOT hear from the media.

The media tends to glide over the word embryonic when they speaks of stem-cell research, which allows them to leave the impression that the Bush Administration has not funded stem-cell research in general. This is a bald-faced lie, yet most Americans believe the lie.

If these pharmaceutical and biotech companies thought there was so much promise in stem cell research that they could come up with a cure for Alzheimer's or diabetes or whatever, don't you think they'd be pouring billions of their own money into research for it? Can you imagine what a drug like that would be worth? The pharmaceutical and biotech companies would want no federal intervention so that they could reap billions of dollars in profits.

So why hasn't any major pharmaceutical and biotech companies done anything about it?

Though embryonic stem cell research advocates euphemistically refer to the current state of research as an "early stage," the unfortunate reality is the goal of embryonic stem cell therapies is, at this point, more accurately described as a pipe dream. No researcher is anywhere close to significant progress in developing practical embryonic stem cell therapies.

I, personally, haven't decided on this research stuff. But I do have problems with my tax dollars funding it. If you like it, then you fund it. Why must you take dollars out of my pocket, by force, when I don't even know if I want it? It is that reason alone (Why must you take dollars out of my pocket when I don't even know if I want a particular program?) that I do not like the liberals. Can't you liberals even exist without the all-important federal funding? Can't we do anything in this country without federal funding?

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