Still Trying to be the Shepherd...

I have nearly zero confidence in medical research and have not had that confidence at any point that I can actually recall. Please understand that in my lifetime, the overwhelming majority of medical research has been performed in the United States and as a government financed task. 

Government sucks at everything that they do. Sucks swimmingly. Sucks epically. I could go through a list of the illnesses and diseases that have been cured of which I am aware, but those are few and far between.  It is like they accidentally solved a problem that was plaguing mankind.  Who knows, maybe those issues are NOT resolved and are lurking around the corner to leap out and grab us tomorrow. 

Since heart disease appears to be the number one killer in the United States (and probably elsewhere, too), you would think that someone would turn their attention to solving that problem. But, they really don't.   

You would think that since breast cancer is further down the list in causes of cancer death for women, that researchers would turn their attention to those other forms of cancer that kill many more women than breast cancer to have the biggest positive impact on survival for women. But, they have that Pink Month! 

Since the onset of GRID (now lovingly referred to as AIDS), we have acquiesced to almost every complaint the Gay Lobby has had regarding health standards to the point of killing almost all of the hemophiliacs (or anyone that needed a blood transfusion) worldwide.

And, we fail to solve those issues on the daily...for some reason. It's probably because men are not smart enough to solve them, but GLOBAL WARMING!!! 

With SARS-CoV2, I don't think that we have any answers. ZERO. Maybe someone thought they had a clue, but we have found out entirely that they were wrong.  At this point, no one is willing to admit they were wrong and will go to great lengths to keep everyone thinking that they weren't wrong. 

Face it, vaccinated people are NOT more safe than unvaccinated people.  Masked people are NOT more safe than unmasked people.  The cases that are happening in Israel prove that.  From NPR, a decidedly Democrat/Communist/Socialist/Fascist propaganda outlet, comes THIS.  Funny, since Israel is highly vaccinated, they shouldn't have any more issues, but NPR tells us that you need to get booster shots obviously 100% of your day...it's only a matter of time before they realize that the vaccines aren't really working.

I honestly think that this "virus" was manmade. I honestly think that this was a weaponized thing that was accidentally (or on purpose) released before the designer actually wanted it released, but here we are, without the way to undo the problem. 

SARS-CoV2 claimed a friend of mine yesterday.  That means of the 183 FAILbook friends I now have, eight have gone on to Glory over the years.  I'm envious of that.  I yearn for what comes after.  I didn't think that way just seven short years ago, but I am there now.  I'm not trying to get there any quicker, but I am not afraid.  Thank you, God.

Every time there is loss around me, I just want to ease the suffering of those that I cherish, but there is no way to do that.  I know it, they know it, we all know it.  We don't have the words to "fix it."  We want them, but, I hate to tell you, those words don't exist.  I lived it and some folks tried with all their might to make it better and I love them for that, too.  As adults, we have all lost someone that we still needed to spend time with.  We weren't finished being with them, just yet.  We weren't ready for them to go.  

I have a grandmother that is 100 years old.  She is short of this world and she is ready to go, she's been ready for years...but, for someone to leave before that age is difficult to say the least.  It's even going to be difficult when she is finally gone.  Because of what she means to me.

I said all that to say this, faith in man is NOTHING.  It is useless.  All my life, I've tried harder than anyone I know to believe that man can solve any issue that he contemplates.  It's futile to live that way.  We are fallen.  The world is a evil and corrupted ball of fail, folks.  That's not just my cynicism talking, it is fact.

Jesus tells us in Mark 12 that those that go before us, after the resurrection, will be "like angels in Heaven."  They're not angels, but they will be like angels...that makes me happy.  

I've not pieced together all of the things that are to come in the future, but I do know that I have been utterly blessed knowing some of the people that I have known.  I can only pray that we are to know each other in Heaven, even though I have to assume that we will know everyone in Heaven because we will all be there for a common purpose.  Finally, everyone is on the same winning team.

From the very onset of my memories, I have held little fear of anything on Earth.  I am unafraid because I have always known there was something that comes after this.  But, while I am here, I am to live my life as God commanded Joshua, "Haven't I commanded you: be strong and courageous?  Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9) 

Keep your fork.  (Google that...)

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Happy Ma's Day - It is none of my business...

For some unknown reason, Mother's Day is always really weird for me. My mother always asks me if I called my grandmother and I always want to know why I should call her on Mother's Day, she ain't my Ma!

Then it hits me like my mother's cornbread does to my stomach, like a ton of river slag. It's that collectivist mentality that DEMANDS that the VILLAGE raises a child. Nope, the village taxes the shit outta us, it doesn't raise our children.

In a "Progressive" world, they want us to honor ALL mothers, not just our own. Sorry, that ain't me. Yes, I call my grandmother, because she is my ma's ma, but I do not tip my chapeau (a little French gayness for Ma's Day!) to all the chicks in the grocery store because it is Mother's Day. They did not sit up all night with me because of an ear infection. They did not sit by in horror as I went nutz on the ear doctor because he was a dumbass. (Yes, I was nine years old.) They did not silently weep when my name was added at the very bottom of the high school graduation program because I missed too many days in Mr. Wilson's class and had to write that twenty page paper on "The Uses of the Quadratic Function in Today's Society" in order to graduate. Nope, those chicks in the grocery store were raising someone else.

So, if you are a mother to a child and they do not wish you a "Happy Mother's Day," you are failure and you should be ashamed that you want me to wish you something for being a failure.

Now, let's look at the very FIRST thing that you need to do to break the endless cycle of stupidity that makes you want everyone to wish you a Happy Mother's Day when you did NOT make Swedish meatballs twenty-two days in a row for supper for me. (Yes, this happened and they were burned every, single night, too.)

YOU are responsible for YOUR own life. No one else is. So, if YOU receive Food Stamps or live on federal subsidized housing allowances, YOU are a failure at life. Sorry, that is the way it is. Not only that, YOU will continue to fail at life as long as YOU expect someone else to come through and provide for YOUR life.

The stigma needs to be reattached to the folks that survive on the "kindness" of others. If you delve into The Bible more than just a little bit, you find that Jesus and his followers found hard work to be one of the most admired traits in anyone. If you are curious what The Bible says about Barry Obama and the "Progressive" movement in general, check out Proverbs 14:23, it pretty much says it all about what the idiots on the left believe.

In all labour there is profit: but the talk of the lips [tendeth] only to penury. Of course, there is much more wisdom in Proverbs 14 and can really, really be mixed up if you do not read all of it together. Basically what Solomon is saying here is that if you are "Progressive," you are an idiot.

Oh, and Happy Mother's Day, Ma. You look great.

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NO! Michelle Obama was NOT Arrested for Child Molestation on February 18, 1991, Causing Her to Surrender Her Law License

Plus, there were not eight different waivers that had to be sought and procured before she could be in the same general area and take these photos, on the Barry White House lawn, with children, which she is NOT required to avoid.

There was never a child, named Arthur Garcia, that Michelle repeatedly sexually molested, either. There was no settlement PAID for her crimes that did not happen on the Southside of Chicago on innumerable occasions, either.

Simply put, there is no evidence, whatsoever, that Michelle Obama is a child molester.

She is hideously ugly, buffoonish, ungraceful, imbecilic, violently stupid, and married to President Turdy "Captain Failboat" McAssclown, but no child molester.

Do you see what happened right there? It is EXACTLY what the rapier stupidity of the Barrystream Media has been doing to Sarah Palin and other "Conservatives" since the "Progressive" Jared Loughner went on his killing mission last Saturday.

Here are the facts, Loughner is a far-left moonbat that is CRAZY. There is no amount of FEDERAL legislation that can rid us of CRAZY people, but there are plenty of things that the federal government can do to take away our freedoms when stupid people try to make policy and law without any regard for facts.

In a nutshell, if you want to limit terrorism, lock up Muslims for being Muslims. If you want to eliminate random acts of violence, lock up all Democrats because they are eight times more likely to commit crimes. Finally, if you want to stop the majority of corruption in government, abolish the Democrat Party and bar anyone in the Democrat Party for EVER having control over tax money.

You can try other methods of controlling these things, but they will be ineffective because they ignore the TRUE PROBLEMS.

How do we fight back against the Sixteenth Column of Liberals in the national media? I think that we do not have to because Barry Obama is the best argument against liberal policies that we have had in a while.

FDR had his generation of fail, JFK and LBJ had their generation of fail, Jimmuh Cartuh had his time of fail, Bill Clinton his, and Barry Obama has his. Why we continue to elect these idiots is beyond my comprehension, but I attempt to deal with what I am dealt.

Here are the limitless takedowns of the national media trying to make this attempted John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, and John Hinckley, Jr., Jared Loughner into some crazed rightwinger stupidly motivated by some insignificant graphic on Sarah Palin's FAILbook. Carve out hours upon hours to read these posts. You have simply got to understand how corrupt our media has become in this Age of Obama.

Right Girl.

Full Metal Patriot. And AGAIN.

Born Again Redneck.

Pundit Press. And AGAIN.

Michelle Malkin.

Moonbattery. And AGAIN. And AGAIN.

Pirate's Cove.

The Jawa Report.

Patterico.

Left Coast Rebel.

The Other McCain. And AGAIN.

Saucy American in NZ.

Newsbusters.

Stop the ACLU. William Teach from Pirate's Cove.

The Snooper Report.

Joe the Plumber at Big Government.

Darleen Click at Protein Wisdom.

Vodkapundit at PJTV. Steve Green take my idea on this whole thing to the perfect crazy level.

As a final word on this crazy dude that went all "POSTAL," if you want to stop craziness, then you need to prepare to be disappointed. Scientists are not focusing on real science anymore because there are not HUGE dollars to be made from that.

Until every idiotic mantra and divisive policy of the Moonbat Left is abolished, expect more of their creations to perpetrate these heinous crimes.

By the way, I blame Obama and his NOT child-molesting, Klingon-looking wife for all the crazy people in the world.

Speaking of the Moron President, Bill Whittle takes Barry the Dumb to the woodshed...



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Liberals Continue to Bring the Crazy - An Ongoing Series

Since normal people get recurring evidence of the utter stupidity of Democrat policy, this post is more for the dumbass moonbats in the stench-filled camp of the "Progressives."

But, before we get into the post, just go to Google Instant and type in "Obama" and then a space. What do you get? Isn't that just awesome? The President of the United States is the laughing stock of the entire world for being so stupid.

But...

I found this ridiculous Facebook group last week touting the "accomplishments" of President FAILboat. Currently there are 108 of these dubious milestones. I thought that I would make a series of posts addressing each individual line. Bear with me, I have no idea how many posts this shall encompass, I want to be thorough. Imma try to take care of the first ten, tonight. The "accomplishments" will be italicized, the intelligent writing, MINE, will not be.

1. Saved the collapse of the American automotive industry by making GM restructure before bailing them out, and putting incentive money to help the industry

Currently, General Motors and Chrysler, the two United States automobile companies that were bailed out, are in terrible straights. Obviously the poster of this list was unaware that through this whole ordeal, General Motors was forced to FILE BANKRUPTCY. They also cut over twenty-five thousand employees and closed 900 dealerships. I am sure that failure on this scale is considered success for idiots, but in a sane world, giving a company eighty BILLION dollars to go bankrupt would cost some folks their HEADS.

2. Shifted the focus of the war from Iraq to Afghanistan, and putting the emphasis on reducing terrorism where it should have been all along

Obama has done NOTHING on the war on terror other than appoint what he thought would be a moonbat general, Stanley McChrystal, that is no longer even IN the military. Obama's solution? Bring back General David Petraeus, the man placed in charge over there by GEORGE W. BUSH. This was also the dude that came up with the TROOP SURGE, also known as the Patraeus Doctrine, that crushed the resistance in Iraq.

Never mind that, though, let's check with what the Democrats said about him at the time, From Wikipedia:

Democratic Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada argued Petraeus' "plan is just more of the same" and "is neither a drawdown or a change in mission that we need." Democratic Representative Robert Wexler of Florida accused Petraeus of "cherry-picking statistics" and "massaging information". Chairman of the House Foreign Affairs Committee Tom Lantos of California called the General and U.S. Ambassador to Iraq Ryan Crocker "Two of our nation's most capable public servants" and said Democrats feel "esteem for their professionalism." He also said that "We can no longer take their assertions on Iraq at face value"; concluding, "We need to get out of Iraq, for that country's sake as well as our own."

Yeppers, Obama is AWESOME on the War against Muslims in the Middle East because he brought back the Bush Plan that Obama threw out the window to begin with.

3. Relaxed Anti-American tensions throughout the world

I guess that Obama forgot that the United States was part of the world, then. Acts of terrorism, of which there were exactly ZERO under the COMPETENT guidance of Bush after the Muslims declared war on September 11, 2001, have exploded since the Smartest President in History was inaugurated. Maybe the poster means that Barry has bowed to every tinpot dictator on the planet? Fuck, that is a stupid line item.

4. Signed order to close the prisoner “torture camp” at Guantanamo Bay

Um, Homer, is the prison camp at Guantanamo closed now? Did I sleep through that stupidity? Let's check, nope, still open for business. I keep forgetting that "Progressives" do not care about successful RESULTS, they just want dumbass, fucktards jawing about what they are going to do. You know, maybe Obama realized that President Bush was doing the right thing keeping those Muslim MONSTERS at Gitmo, because sixty-one of the murderers that were released, REJOINED THE TERRORISM FRONT.

5. Has made the environment a national priority, and a primary source for job creation

Um, Green Jobs are a success? Let's check the stats on that, can we?

1. The U.S. can expect 2.2 jobs to be destroyed for every 1 renewable job financed by the government. 
2. Only 1 in 10 of the jobs actually created through green investment is permanent. 
3. Since 2000, Spain has spent €571,138 ($753,778) to create each "green job," including subsidies of more than €1 million ($1,319,783) per wind industry job. Those programs resulted in the destruction of nearly 113,000 jobs elsewhere in the economy. 
4. Each "green" megawatt installed destroyed 5.39 jobs in non-energy sectors of the Spanish economy. The total over-cost--the amount paid over the cost that would result from buying the electricity generated by the renewable power plants at market prices--between 2000 and 2008 amounts to 7,918.54 million Euros ($10 billion). 
5. The total subsidy spent and committed to these three renewable sources amounts to €28,671 million ($36 billion). Consumer energy costs in Spain would have to be increased 31 percent to repay the debt generated by the green jobs subsidies.

6. Has made education a national priority by putting emphasis and money behind new ideas like charter schools, but speaking directly to school children in telling them they have to do their part.

FIND EDUCATION IN THE CONSTITUTION. Charter schools ARE NEW? And if Obama is such a fan of charter schools, why did he push to kill the DC Voucher System?

7. Won the Nobel Peace Prize

So did Yasser Arafat and Nelson Mandela, two TERRORISTS.

8. $789 billion economic stimulus plan

Yes, and this created ONE job. The Stimulus Czar. There has been no evidence in any metric that the stimulus was effective in anything other than increasing the debt. Of course, normal people knew that to begin with. Also, the Stimulus was almost 900 billion dollars and will wind up costing every man, woman, and child out the ass for as long as they shall live. It did line the pockets of some union bosses, though.

9. Appointment of first Latina to the Supreme Court

Being of Puerto Rican ancestry and having a vagina is important to this WHY? Is this person making this list trying to sound as fucking stupid as Joe FREAKING Biden? Sotomayor is a dumbass, but she's from farners and has a love purse. Yay!

10. Attractive tax write-offs for those who buy hybrid automobiles

This was a way for Obama to give his wealthy moonbat friends some money from the middle class. The cars that were eligible to get this tax incentives were actually on average twelve thousand dollars more than the gasoline models and operating costs are almost five times as much as their comparable gas models. People that wanted a toy for themselves and had the disposable cash bought them and basically received a 7500 bribe from Obama. Does this help the environment or save fuel? Of course not, those that buy those cars, drive SUVs in their real life and drive EVEN MORE because they were absolved from their hideous crimes against Mother Gaia by buying that electric piece of shit.

Folks, do you see what we are up against? These "Progressives" are dangerously stupid and they are actually allowed to vote.

Do your part.

Please take the time to comment.

Driving Traffic, Building a Following, and Owning the Interwebs, Plus Teh Google

While we continued to rack up the traffic for our NUDE bikini chicks posts, we dropped alarmingly in site visit time. At one point about two months ago, visit time had dropped to less than forty seconds per page view. Not good. We are back up to 1:34 per load now. That is much more acceptable, although it is cool as all get out when that length jumps up around three or four minutes for the day.

Also, since this traffic experiment starting with little planning on our Rima Fakih NUDE post, we have reached number one on Teh Google for every single keyword we attempted. So far, I have tried twenty-two different phrases and not one have we missed the number one slot. I guess I should do the same stuff for College Gameday!!! (As a disclaimer, I have not done anything over the top for College Gameday because I want that to be a solely organic hit on our weekend scoreboard posts. So far, we are not too far off on that.)

Also, during this period, we have picked up a total of twenty-four new Teh Google Blog Followers, almost fifty e-mail subscribers, and have stabilized at 138 RSS subscribers. I am still not too convinced that Feedburner's RSS stats are right. The biggest fluctuation I get on a daily basis is about six adds or subtracts. Dude, remember when we lost over 60-80 in one day?

I make no bones about trying to put together a money making outfit on Teh InterBlarx lately. Architecture got shot in DEEZ NUTZ when y'all elected Barry Obama.

By the way, I added the Pay Pal "Donation" button a little over a week ago and wanted to say a Hell's YEAH! Thank you folks for dropping your hard earned dust on poor little ol' me. That is very humbling to receive the kicks from y'all. I appreciate it in buckets. If I ever miss the Thank You to anyone, send me an F-Bomb e-mail and I'll return that cash POST HASTE. My Grandmother would kick my ass if I missed the Thank You note.

Now, lemme tell y'all how I got so interested in this stuff. I got a direct message on Twittah one night from an internet marketer asking why I did not return the add. It kinda shocked me because those marketers add me all the time and I never added them and a few days later, they would dump me. When dude called me out, I checked out his site and started reading everything. I found a few links and ran across a bunch of FREE!!! information on Blorking and Making Dust Blorking.
The amount of the information that I have consumed in a very short time is mind boggling. I have studied this stuff minimally three hours a day for quite some time. Yes, I have freaking bags under my eyes, too.

But, dammit, this stuff is interesting as all get out, too.

Since I started paying attention to what I was actually doing, traffic to my business site has picked up, too. If you could benefit from Local Traffic to your website, you should pay attention to Google Places. I added a Lexington listing to my Places thingy yesterday and am going to keep a close eye on my ranking. Please keep in mind, I am NOT spending one single cent for the traffic right now. Teh Google has already sent me two hundred and fifty bucks of ad credit, too. I have not used a single dime. I have not used any of their tags, either.

For some reason, Teh Google is throwing free advertising around like nuts right now. How much do you think one of these billboards would help your local business?

Let's just be honest about the future of business. You know that the economy is really on a back-sliding path and there is very little we can do about that for a while. Not only that, but the debt that our country is saddled with is going to keep us down for a damned long time. We have to find new sources of income.

Also, when you really think about how we do business, find someone to engage us in that business, and ultimately close that business, we do not search for our partners the same way that we did just ten years ago. We "Google" shit. No longer is our competition just Hank down the road, we are competing against Bhaji in India.

We have to adjust, too. We have to pay close attention to the changes that occur almost daily with the Google algorithms. We just got that "Instant Search" thingy and now, Teh Google is trying out a FULL PAGE PREVIEW!

So, here we go. If we have a typical storefront, brick and mortar widget shop, we now have to become masters of the INTERBLARGS. That is the new yellow pages. We have to have Facebook pages and groups, a Twitter account, You Tube, etc. And we have to produce killer content for all of them. Twitter and Facebook have their own tips and tricks for driving traffic, but You Tube has gone all in for marketing. We are back to metadata, tags, and annotations on our VIDEO!

You know what you need? How the Web Works. We gotta just stop, back up, and learn all of the terminology. Free video lesson stuff.

Then we have to start all over with the way things are set up on our blogs and sites.

And of course, our blogs have to be monetized to the hilt. Obama has killed traditional means of income making, y'all.

And networking is vital to our success. Building your contacts and your online community is the new cold calling.

Search Engine Optimization is another tool that must be mastered.

Traditional methods of lead generation are probably going to help you in your quest to fight back against Obamanomics, but some methods of online deal closing are different and tactics are not the same.

While I am thinking about it, the comment reply and subscription thingy is really important now that fewer and fewer people are actually surfing blogs rather than reading the feed. This tip is specifically for those of you on Wordpress, add "Subscribe to Comments" plug-in. There is also a plug-in for Threaded Comments. If you want that one, too, just hit me up and I'll see if I can find it. Mayor, I'm talking to you. If you want to see it in action, check this out. The cool thing about this comment threading is that the administrator can actually see how many subscribers (and their info, too) to the comment thread there are. That is helpful to see what kind of posts get more interest.

Wordpress has also added SMS Notifications and Controls. I am not sure that this will be helpful for much longer when my phone has a danged 64" screen almost and my browser is almost as big on it as the laptop. Plus, the phone is blazing fast, too.

Oh, speaking of the RSS readers, this reader theme is pretty cool. Gotta have Greasemonkey, though.

I gotta mention this post from Basil. Resize a bunch of images at the same time using Picasa. Dude, I wish I had this info when I started my Tumblr because I decided that I was going to use the same dimensions on all the images.

If you use Google Chrome, they added instant search to the address bar. Folks, it is becoming a full-time job keeping up with all the advancements that are coming out.

I noticed this in my G-Mail the other day. Rather than actually exposing yourself to a website to unsubscribe, Teh Google will do it for you!!!

Here's a quick post explaining sharing on Teh Google Docs. This can come in handy for doling out information to all your peeps. you can have different pricing sheets for different clients. You know, if you are doing business with one of those Ole Miss Black Bears, you can give them access to the gouging prices.

As a kinda throw away link, if you have an iPod Shuffle like a certain friend of mine, these headphones look like they would be wicked-awesome.

Sorry that I have been remiss in doing the three videos that I have promised. I am certainly going to handle that this weekend. I got one on Teh Google Docs, one on the proxy for the scoreboard, and hopefully I'll get to the surprise one if I have time.

OBAMA SUCKS.

Please take the time to comment.

Glenn Beck, Al Sharpton, and the History of Racism

Heads up! This is a very long and rambling post. Please stick with me through the end and let me know your thoughts. Yes, I have received reams of hate mail in the past. I am inoculated to the hate, but I value your opinion. Give it. I hid most of the post beyond the "Read More" tag.

Define: racism. Racism is "the belief that each race has distinct and intrinsic attributes; The belief that one race is superior to all others; Prejudice or discrimination based upon race."

Do I believe that individual RACES have distinct and intrinsic attributes? Of course I do. Black people look different from yellow people look different from white people. But, do I believe that one race is superior to others? Of course not. Does Glenn Beck think that one race is superior to all others? I cannot tell that he does from anything that Beck has ever said publicly, but I do not know his heart. Does Al Sharpton think that one race is superior to all others?

YES. Al Sharpton believes that white people are superior to black people. Unless Reverend Al is lying all the time, every single word that he speaks tells us that. Sharpton believes that the entire black race is incapable of achieving anything without "reparations" or handouts from whitey. This mentality is by definition, REVERSE DISCRIMINATION.

Racism, Lying, and the Assault on Tea Party Folks

For those of you that have been around this joint since the beginning, you already know that my very first real post was about abolishing Black History Month. It is a stupid concept that does NOTHING GOOD.

Having grown up in Mississippi in the 1960s, I was all too aware of exactly how terrible racist Democrats were and are. There has never been any time in my life when I did not know exactly how evil Democrats are. It has been proven time and time again at every turn. You simply cannot make any point at all that could even convince me otherwise. I SAW IT. Blacks forced to ride on the back of the bus, families ripped apart by evil legislation passed, black children tossed onto the ash heap of education to perpetuate illiteracy, minimum wage laws designed to keep the poor poor, and hideous ideology created for the sole purpose of dividing people.

The is no HOPE to save the Democrat Party. There has been no hope of saving the Democrat Party since the 1830s. It is a corrupt, criminal, and hate-filled enterprise run by the most terrible people in history. YES, Democrats are like Hitler. In fact, I can even make the case that they are worse.

The Ku Klux Klan, the Democrats' KILLING BRANCH, has always singled out individuals for killing. Hitler did something LESS EVIL in one respect, that was actually approved by the Democrat Party. He killed minorities. He did not select individuals to murder. He was a supremacist, and just like every Democrat in history, Hitler divided the people into different classifications and promoted HATE against certain people based upon something other than their individual merits.

Now, some folks have made an futile attempt to say that the racists left the Democrat Party at some point and now are in the Republican Party. This is demonstrably false. I PROVED this by pulling the sign-in sheet of the Dixiecrats and found that the HUGE majority of those racists went right back to the Democrats when their party folded. Of fifty people on the rolls, THREE jumped to the Republicans, the rest went right back to the Party of Perpetual Racism. So, STFU, anyone that uses the Dixiecrats as some kind of metric on this party switch is a LIAR. There is no other word for it.

Some people also make hay about the Klan was an 1800s or a 1960s thing. Well, not actually. The Klan never went away. Woodrow Wilson (Dumbass) had very strong ties to the Klan and in fact, Franklin Delano Roosevelt (Monumental Dumbass) appointed a Klansman, Hugo Black, to the Supreme Court.

About the 1960s alleged party jumpers, Strom Thurmond is the one that is ALWAYS brought up. Thurmond was NEVER a member of the Klan. But, you want to see something funny? Google "Strom Thurmond kkk" without the quotes. The first result is the Robert Byrd (Dumbass-DEAD) wiki page.

Folks, I am sick outta my damned gourd with the unsubstantiated charges of racism today. Mexican is not a freaking race, neither is gay, nor female. I am sick of racist organizations like the NAACP calling ANYONE racist. I have had a bellyful of this madness.

Face it, folks, the NAACP is a washed-up racist, bigoted, BLACK supremacist organization. They are NOT inclusive and do not "elevate" anyone. They perpetuate the VICTIM mentality and when that doesn't work, they promote violence against normal people that want to keep what they earn with their own damned labor. Plus, they say some of the dumbest shit that you have ever heard.

To add insult to injury, there are some folks that actually HELP the NAACP to promote the hatred, too. And the President of the United States is involved in that, as well. When you cannot make your case with FACTS, oh! Just lie, it's all cool. Also, if you cannot find any facts to back up your thesis, why, just call people names from your pulpit and compare them to Muslims. Or better still, when someone that is not a racist completely takes apart your racist argument, try to bully them into submission.

Now, there are some black folks that are not swayed by the stupidity of the NAACP, but those people are becoming fewer and fewer in number.

Watch.


Now, to the real point of this post. Barry Obama is the worst president in the history of our country. Debating the other side of this issue is impossible. If Bill Clinton had not have lost the Congress to the Republicans for the first time in forty years, he probably would have put the final coffin nail in the Democrat Party and we would be living in a country without electricity and wealth this very day. Thankfully, that did not happen.

Jimmy Carter, on the other hand, had a Democrat Congress and set up ALL of the economic problems that have culminated in the meltdown today. Barry Obama's policies are just like Carter's, but even more crippling. This is undebatable as well. The "Progressive" ideology is a CANCER upon society. There is no disagreement in opinion here, the "Progressive" philosophy has NEVER worked. It has ALWAYS failed. There is not one single success at which to point because it has never happened.

You even have some idiots that actually say that Castro's Cuba has better stuff than the United States. You have to be some kind of special cud-chewing moron to espouse something that asinine, but on regular intervals Democrats do just that. A funny thing is that almost every elected official in the Congressional Black Caucus says that Castro is awesome. Tell me how that is possible?

Do you want to take an honest look at the race problems in our country? Lemme shorten the discussion.

Detroit is the MOST liberal city in the United States. It is also majority black, about eighty-one percent(81%). Unemployment is over fifteen percent (15%) using the government's lowered metric. It is probably around forty percent (40%) in actuality. The population has fallen to HALF of its 1950 population. It has one of the highest crime rates in the entire country. Detroit has not had a WHITE Mayor since 1974. If you want to point to racism as a culprit in the utter failure of Detroit, point to the black race as being the ruination of the city.

Of course, I do not believe that blacks caused the destruction of Detroit. Skin color cannot do that, it is not to blame for anything. Never has anything actually happened in history that was caused by skin color, the only thing that is a driving force of human behavior is intelligence and ideology.

Until blacks completely discard the group-think mentality of "Progressivism" and ditch the Party of the Klan entirely, the RACE is never going to succeed. Oh, that dressing and acting like criminal thugs might need to be revisited, too.

Please take the time to comment.

Why Barry Obama Sucks - A Primer

(Dead) Tommy 5 made a comment yesterday about my "Hate Obama Blog" and I think that I need to address that.

I do not hate Barry Obama, he is utterly irrelevant to the entire world. Most idiots are. Never in Obama's life has he made any kind of contribution to ANYTHING. He is a complete and total failure at everything that he does. Well, except for getting a bunch of unintelligent people to vote for him for president. He has never won any campaign against an opponent of any merit, either. And he has certainly not accomplished anything in the private sector, he only worked there for two of his nearly fifty years on this planet.

When Obama won his state house gig, it was because he got everyone disqualified on the ballot. When Obama won his US Senator gig in 2004, Jack Ryan had to drop out of the race right before the election and Obama ran against Alan Keyes who was not even FROM Illinois.

Finally, Barry Obama is president because the national media simply supports Democrats and they covered up for his stupid ass in the general election. Not to even mention that Barry's opponent was the DAMNED MCCAINIAC.

Quite frankly, Barry Obama is a JOKE. Nothing more. Most people see this beyond any doubt by now, but there are still some folks that do not keep up with the important stuff and do not see that Barry is a feckless dumbass. Those folks are also unimportant to the world because they do not possess the necessary intelligence to achieve any type of importance.

So, why do I point out daily the ever-increasing number of failures from the Obama administration? Because there is a need to promote FREEDOM and INDIVIDUAL RESPONSIBILITY every single day. Barry just presents an easy target to point out these failures of the collectivist mentality.

Having had this moron in the White House for sixteen months, don't y'all see exactly how BAD things are when we elect people that are only concerned with getting re-elected and gaining power for the collectivists? Has it ever been more obvious? Not in my lifetime, not even when Jimmuh Cartuh was president. Not even close.

Do you even need a butcher's list of things that the collectivist's mentality has screwed up in recent months? Of course you do.

The pressing issues of the day are not even being addressed at ALL by this administration and if they are being observed, there is a moral relativism being applied that makes things utterly incomprehensible.

Take for instance the ridiculously increased violence and aggression perpetrated by the "Religion of Peace." I mean really, they have ramped up the terrorism against Israel by at least one hundred fold in recent days. What has the Democrat power structure said about the flotilla attacks on the LEGALLY RECOGNIZED blockade of Gaza? Of course, Obama wants to end the blockade. He does not even recognize the danger presented to innocent people living their daily lives in Israel when the "Palestinians" would had unfettered access to all kinds of war making materials. Why does he not recognize this fact?

Because Obama and his ILK are moral relativists that see no difference between Muslims and non-Muslims. It is like hundreds of years of history simply do not exist. If you want to see what the future holds if Barry Obama's ideological brethren win this battle of individual freedoms, study Constantinople. If you want to know exactly what happens when you ignore the Muslims, just note that in 1950, Constantinople (now Istanbul) had less than one million people. Today, a mere sixty years later, it has over ELEVEN MILLION.

There are currently over 2500 mosques, yet only 26 synagogues. Also, the majority of those Muslims are Sunni. (Guess which sect Saddam Hussein is?) Not that the sect has anything to do with the murdering VOLUME of Islam. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is a Shiite. So, which of the main two sects is the most dangerous? BOTH of them, they will both kill you dead, folks. Such is the DAMNED religion of Islam, ignore that at your own peril. You want to blame George W. Bush for something? Blame him for trying to NORMALIZE Islam by continually repeating "RoP, RoP, RoP, RoP....."

And the Leftist idiots in the government today support Islam by continuing to repeat that HITLER! was a Christian! Um, NO! Hitler was a National Socialist, a Nazi. Socialists are ATHEISTS, folks. And curiously enough, Democrats are socialists, too! Will wonders never cease?

Topic TWO. The oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Come on, Barry Obama cannot DO anything about that. There are no persons in his cabinet that can DO anything about it, either. None of his appointees have any type of practical REAL WORLD experience doing ANYTHING. They are all just career bureaucrats that have never worked in the private sector. PLUS! They are all Democrats.

You know what Democrats do when they open their damned cakehole? They LIE.

You know that they lie because they simply cannot let you know the truth about their ultimate plan of world domination. No, it is not the same way as Hitler, their ideological peer, they are taking control by using your own caring for your fellow man to control you in the end.

And the Democrats/Progressives ideology leads only to one place, total economic meltdown. Of course they are trying to move this world toward a more archaic lifestyle. We are moving from using the internal combustion engine toward the DAMNED WINDMILL. They advocate NOT using the car, instead using a bicycle.

Progressive? Hardly. Instead of using a windmill or solar heating, shouldn't MORE technology be in the future? Cold fusion, maybe? Progressives are INTELLIGENT? Folks, they are the exact opposite of intelligent, they are afraid of mathematics, science, and any kind of forward thinking ANYTHING. By the way, the Democrats KILLED space exploration, too. This philosophy is the exact one used by the Muslims when they conquered Europe and we lost the knowledge necessary to make concrete for over five hundred years. Forward thinking? Yeah, right.

And since their idiotic ideas do NOT work, they threaten violence, they always do that to curb dissent. Lefties cannot win a battle of minds ever.


Granted, the threat of getting my ass kicked by Obama seriously makes me laugh so hard I almost peed my damned pants. Do lefties REALLY thing that we can be cowed into submission to their stupid agenda? They better think again.

Folks, you know some of the "Progressives" and it is your responsibility to help them see the errors of their ways and ideology. Granted, it shall be very difficult to teach them, because "Progressives" are the dumbest people in the world. This is only proven by scientific TESTING. "Progressives" lack the most basic rudimentary intelligence to understand the most elementary FACTS. Yes, liberals are DUMB.

And what do the liberals do to help grow their numbers? They make an all out effort to keep everyone DUMB. The only way that they can grow their numbers is by making sure everyone is a victim and that they never gain the knowledge necessary to succeed. This is BY DESIGN, folks.

They also advocate for removal of any kind of stabilizing forces in anything. The liberals believe that FATHERS are unnecessary. They promote that ideology, can you believe that?

Look at things in the most basic of ways. Do you think that creating MORE government jobs is a good thing? If you do, you are stupid. Those people that work for government do NOT produce anything, people. They create NOTHING but more and more regulations and rules that HAMPER economic success.


We all know these things, too, if we stop and pay one minute of attention to it. Luckily, it appears that even the European countries are recognizing the failure of "Progressive" economic policies. Of course, "Progressives" in the US, who have a much lower understanding of economics, continue to promote the collectivist economic ideas.

To put it very simply, YOU KNOW THEY ARE WRONG.

And as far as education, run by liberals, it is going to collapse SOON. If you take a hard look at anything on the planet run by liberals, you see that it fails. And fails miserably, too. Liberals have reduced the quality of education to the point in the last one hundred years, where it is impossible to get and keep high paying jobs without having a college education. Now, since they also took over all the colleges, they have run them into the ground. Wonder what level of education comes after COLLEGE?

Remember back last month when I said that Dumbass Barry was contemplating resignation? One week ago, the American Spectator joins the fray. One can only HOPE.

Please take the time to comment or click one of the 'Share/Save' buttons.

Steampunk - A Promotion?

I saw a blogpost today about steampunk and I made the observation that it would never take off at all because most people are stupid.

There was a reference in the article about how steampunk was a growing phenomenon, too. There is no hope of that no matter how cool you think that it is.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was a (more or less) steampunk movie, starring Sean Connery and it flopped bigtime.

Despite the fact that it was not a big hit, it was a damned good movie.

Watchman was also a borderline steampunk movie and it did not do so hot, either, but it did do better than League even though it was not as good.

Tell me what you think?

Please take the time to comment or click one of the 'Share/Save' buttons.

Fascist Architecture or Ambiguous Architecture?

Some things in my industry never cease to amaze me. The driving need to FORCE people to live in an environment that is NOT desired is one of those things that I just cannot grasp. I simply cannot figure out why architects seem to want to practice the dictatorial control over the way that people live. While we actually debated this concept many times in school, how architects can change behavior, I always thought that we were attacking that problem by imposing our own personal concepts upon our clients, instead of satisfying the individual needs of those clients.

The top photo is of Pruitt-Igoe, a government subsidized housing complex in St. Louis. It was designed by Minoru Yamasaki, the same dude that did the World Trade Center. Mile High Pixie posted about this housing complex last June and to this day, folks are still commenting on her post. Check it out.

The second photo is a concept by Shelter Architecture called Bearden Place. In the article, they hit every single current talking point. Sustainable, affordable, passive building, you name it, they hit upon every little buzzword in the article. And just like Pruitt-Igoe, this planned development is hideous. And just look at Mr. Bespectacled Sweater Vest strolling the grounds!!!

Even though the two housing projects are vastly different in their appearance, P-I is very ambiguous looking, where the windows make the thick-fingered, clunky looking buildings appear lighter, and B-P has very few windows and becomes basically a highboy with drawers sliding out of it, they are very much the same in their delivery.

In a word, UNLIVABLE.

While talking to The Old Ball and Chain this morning, I realized one of the many, many reasons that I think developments like this fail, CONTRADICTION.

I guess you could break designers into two camps, one would be the folks that think they are creating ART, and the other would think that they are creating SPACE. Yes, I realize that there are plenty of different ways to divide the architectural profession, but this way seems to make the most sense to me.

These types of developments satisfy NEITHER camp. In other words, they are failures from the jump because they ignore the primary reason for building, protection or security. This protection can be from weather, from crime, or from NOISE. To satisfy this very basic requirement, you simply cannot shoehorn folks into a block of multi-family housing. Sorry, it is just not feasible unless the spacial requirements demand it. But, then again, I have never understood why four million people would want to live on a very small island, either.

There is another drawback to developments like this. Illustrated perfectly from a comment on Pixie's post:

The architect's intention was to promote interaction and more socializing within those open 'galleries' for the residents who lived there; not as a cost saving measure. What all of these buildings lacked a strong resident manager for each unit who could keep tight control of who belonged there and who did not.

This statement tells me everything that I need to know about the reasons for developing something as inhumane as a Pruitt-Igoe or a Bearden Place, SLAVERY. And you can delve as deeply into the theory as you want, but the bottom line is dictatorial control of the SHEEPLE who live there. The basic philosophical ideology of tenements ignores the individuality necessary for successful living. You SURRENDER your individuality for the "greater good of all." Of course, the greater good ALWAYS reduces the best to the level of the worst.

Herein lies our lesson for today. To have success in ANY society, be it Pruitt-Igoe or Nebrastenntuckysaw, you simply must have the capacity for everyone to get RICH. When you limit individuals to the pinnacle of every other person, the only thing that you promote is failure. And I am NOT going to like everyone that I meet. Certainly I do not want to be FORCED to see them every day and have to interact with them. Losers exist and they affect everything that we see, touch, think, and feel.

And then Barry Obama becomes president.

Please take the time to comment or click one of the 'Share/Save' buttons.

Everything I Needed to Know, I Learned from Star Wars

Since I have a little buddy that is a huge fan of Star Wars, I decided to watch the whole franchise in order. Because I, II, and III were all released since the late 1990s, I had not seen any of them. I am not a huge science fiction fan. This is also why I have not seen An Inconvenient Truth, either.

HOLY SHIT, THEY SUCKED!!!

But, there is one glaring difference in the first three and the last three. If you have seen all of them, maybe I can let you in on the HUGE differences that I witnessed.

The first three movies released (IV, V, and VI) were about a personal responsibility and a connection between an individual and the "force," that mysterious power that the characters called an ancient "religion." There was a definitive personal difference between right and wrong. "Luke, only YOU can decide what is the right thing for you to do."

Yet oddly enough, the first three did not seem preachy at all to me.

The second batch of three movies (I, II, III) were about worshiping the GOVERNMENT and picking a side of political philosophy on which to fall. "I heard they even tried to change the law to let you stay in office past your second term....."

Good Lord, these three movies clouted me over the head repeatedly with some kind of ambiguous morality tied directly to the wonderful, collectivist Senate, but concentrating on the few corrupt Senators and the overwhelmingly evil "trade commission." The Senators that were not corrupt in these movies were the Hopey-Changy Senators that were all up in arms for Whirled Peas.

What the Hell happened to George Lucas in the sixteen years between the first three and the fourth movie? He got involved in PUBLIC EDUCATION lobbying.

That figures. Chew on that for a while. Liberalism destroys everything that it touches and that even includes Star Wars.

I also received an e-mail this morning from a blogger friend asking why folks were beating up on Scott Brown. I immediately responded with my first thoughts as I am always wont to do. I state what is on my mind and then delve a little deeper afterward.

Yes, that has gotten me into trouble for my whole damn life, too, but it is simply the way that I am. If you ask me my opinion on something, I am going to give it to you if I have any knowledge at all on the topic. I like to call this, "intellectual honesty."

Then I read a post from Patrick that made me think a little harder on the Scott Brown question.

Patrick states that conservatism starts with fiscal sanity and I think that is a huge part of the dealio, but not the main one for me.

Individuality is where the philosophy starts for me. "Luke, only YOU can decide what is the right thing for you to do." I think that a "conservative" is someone that places the most importance on FREEDOM. With freedom comes individual responsibility. I kinda think that is why the Founders and Framers set out to create a nation of "laws, not men."

Since we have obviously jettisoned the original founding principles of our country, even before I was born, I have never been able to enjoy exactly what freedom entails. I am certainly not bitching about it, but I fail to understand the slave mentality that is forever ingrained in the Democrat Party.

If you are black and a Democrat, you should hang your head in utter shame. You are a traitor to your race, all the people that literally fought and died for your ancestor's freedom from slavery, and an enemy to everyone that loves freedom.

Not to mention, if you are black and a Democrat, you are a member of the very party that is the lynching party, that killed your grandparents, and kept your race from voting at every turn. Oddly enough, to this day, the Democrat Party is STILL the only party to consider race as the MOST important thing. Why else would they scream racism whenever someone points out that the president is an idiot? Even though Barry Obama is HALF-WHITE and has always lived with his WHITE FAMILY, he looks more black than the average Joe.

If you are white and a Democrat, you are a racist, a looter, and an utter enemy to freedom and everything upon which this country was founded.

In other words, if you are of any race and are a Democrat, you are a traitor to the very basic founding principles of this, the greatest country in the history of the world.

There is one problem that I have with those that consider themselves to be "conservative." It is the fact that in order to adhere to what I see as conservative principles, you must put individual responsibility above all else. In order to do that, you have to allow Luke to make his own decision between right and wrong.

UNTIL IT AFFECTS OTHERS. Then, as a conservative, you must stand up to fight the oppression of government. When Luke decides that everyone MUST go to church on Sunday, that is wrong. When Luke decides that everyone must pay taxes so others can sit on their ass all day and smoke dope, that is wrong.

Since Republicans are more conservative than even the most "conservative" Democrat, of which there might be ONE, then as individuals, we must support the party that most closely follows the founding philosophy of "laws not men."

No, not all Republicans are going to be rugged individualists, but they are certainly going to be better than ANYONE in the Democrat Party. Beyond any doubt.

And when/if the Republicans do reclaim our federal government, we must make damn sure that they do not cave to the lobbying of so-called conservative groups and try to take away even more of our rapidly dwindling freedoms.

There is NO HOPE for the Democrat Party, we must make sure to do everything in our power to ABOLISH the party of slavery, once and for all.

RACISM IS WRONG, therefore, being a Democrat is WRONG.

Please take the time to comment.

As Always, Violence is Sometimes the Perfect Answer

Yeah, I am all too aware that I have a big cakehole, my entire family has told me that since the beginning of Paul time. And yes, there has hardly been a single instance where my opinion was not readily available to be had for a pittance. I shall certainly offer my thoughts on just about anything.

I can debate any topic (that I have studied) for hours on end. Yes, I have had my hat handed to me on numerous occasions, yet oddly, I have never reacted to those defeats with anything other than humility. Good sportsmanship was beaten into me at any early age. A simple, "Dammit, boy, you bested me in no uncertain terms..." is always a graceful exit.

However, there must always be rules (written or not) to those debates. There always must be intellectual honesty and you must go into debate knowing that there is always a possibility that you shall lose.

In other words, you must be a fucking gentleman.

Here's what I have noticed in the last few years. Those basic rules and mutual understanding are gone. There is no longer an air of the possibility of legitimate disagreement, the loser must be destroyed. Well, okay, I can debate according to those rules, too.

When I first blogged about the Murderous Idiots of Islam, shockingly, I got death threats. Oh, okay, I made the statement that Muslims are savages that kill anyone that disagrees with them, AAAAAND my life was threatened. H-E-L-L-O?!?!?! Irony alert!

Now, it has gotten to the point with liberal ideology, like the utterly discredited fraud of global warming, those on the left threaten violence. Okay, if that is where the debate leads, so be it. I am a man, my contact info is readily available, make it happen.

What this whole scenario boils down to is ideology. The left makes no qualms about inciting violence to get their way (Hell, they burn down their own frigging cities and neighborhoods in their efforts), but I shall not be scared into backing down, folks. I am guaranteed my rights to my own opinions, if you want to attempt to deprive me of my personal INDIVIDUAL rights, bring it. PACK A FUCKING LUNCH.

All that bullshit said, I have plenty of liberal friends. Plenty, because in the architectural field, I am in the minority. However, in our dealings with one another, we actually understand that the ideology is different but the desire for everyone to succeed is the same. Yes, my liberal friends are wrong in their opinions, but I know that their intentions are good. They ignore the fact that there is human nature to consider, there are people that shall exploit the left's naivete, and that not everyone is honest with their desires. Couple that with the FACT that not everyone has the ability in everything that everyone else has. <--that made sense to me, yo! I am not confused with those liberal fantasies. Even though I am not a part of the ridiculously wrongly named, "The Reality Based Community," I understand the true ramifications of "Progressivism" because I study history like a mad man. You see, past performance IS indicative of future results. This quote is attributed to Albert Einstein, "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." That DEFINES liberalism and "Progressivism."

Throughout the whole idiotic duration of the movement of socialism, fascism, Communism, collectivism*, those morons have always maintained that to dissolve or ignore one's own desires is the key to whirled peas**. I am beyond that insanity, whirled peas** do not exist and I know this.

So, in case you are remotely curious, threaten your violence, that's cool. But, be prepared to back it up, Homer, I grew up hard.

Please take the time to comment.

* All of these are part and parcel of the ideology of liberalism or "Progressivism."

** This means "world peace" in case you did not know.

Selling Your Art - A Two Dogs Primer

Being in the field of architecture, I have had the opportunity to meet many artists or wannabe artists. For the most part, ALL of them are Leftists, Socialists, or deviants and they went to architecture school because they knew that creating their "art" would not put food on the damn table. Because they suck. Rarely do you see any exhibits that are normal landscapes, watercolors, or sculptures. The weirder the better.

A sixteen inch Michelin tire on a pedestal? Awesome! A crucifix in a jar of urine? How creative! Paintings done using only the blood from your self induced abortions? Now you have my attention and respect!

This? Holy shit, you gotta be kidding me. An average looking man with a Brahma Bull? Come on dude, the only way that you would get me to the museum to see this is if there were forty Japanese men performing bukkake on this bull while stabbing him with swords. Live and in color. And wearing the San Diego Chicken costume, while singing the aria from The Magic Flute. It's soprano, by the way. It is too lame, Homer. N-O-R-M-A-L. And it shows an actual understanding of the medium, planning and care, a great amount of talent or craft, and realism. It's got realism by the buckboard load. *Yawn*

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Oh wait, there's another room of material from this same artist? Holy.....hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

I salute you, Stere Grant. Check out the rest of the artist's SITE.

Barry Obama might not like this. You do not want the Obamessiah angry.

New Barry McDumbass Video!!!!!!!!!

May I just say, personally, I think that all of the morons that are singing for Barry should immediately kill themselves and each other because they did not do this for their Obamessiah. They should be forever ashamed and if they cannot kill themselves, they should leave this country. NOW. I KID NOT.



FRIGGIN' HUGE HAT-TIP: EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY!

Shut the interblogs down now, the pinnacle has been reached. And seriously, the Boss and Diana Ross sound the same twenty years later, not to mention Cyndi Lauper. It is just like we have a time machine. But, uh, Ray, what in the mortal Hell? What in the Hell, man?

Admit it, "And the tluth, you know, rove is arr we need."

UPDATE: It is the worst trainwreck that I have ever seen, but I. CANNOT. LOOK. AWAY.

UPDATE 2: Ray! What in the Hell?

UPDATE 3: Ray! What in the Hell does, "Der a dimmi-dahmring" actually mean? What in the Hell?

I Done Been Thinking - A List

With the comments from uber-diversified, Black, married-to-an-Asian, father, heterosexual (doesn't count), male (dang) Roderick in the last couple of days, I started thinking about things. Since he is calling for total assimilation of all races into the white or NORMAL family, I decided to come up with a list of stuff that you have to sacrifice in order to join the majority. I hope this helps you in your endeavor to become NORMAL (not necessarily white), if you do not qualify as one of us "major" people.

1. Absolutely no friggin' dreads. (Forget about that guy with Soul Asylum, he just didn't wash his damn hair for a couple of years. Nasty little bitch, he was.)

2. Pull your damn pants up, whites included. If I wanted to look at a bunch of worn out boxers, I would watch Rocky XI.

3. No more facial piercings. If you desire to become at one with the aboriginal folks, move to Wollongong, you dumbass. I hope that kids understand how damn stupid that looks to have something sticking out of your jawbone or worse still, those Frisbees in your damn ears. (History note: Slave masters pierced their slaves in certain ways, not unlike brands, because it made telling their property from other's property easier. Just know, you are branding yourself a slave with every metal stud in your face.)

4. No spinners. I understand that this fad is quickly going by the wayside, but still. "I want my car to look like it is broken down on the side of the road, EVEN when I am driving!" Flat-out stupid. Oh, no more Panic stickers either. I like Panic, but nothing says "Check my car for weed!" quite like a Panic sticker.

5. Bathe. I do not care if you DO grab chickens for a living, there is no reason to look the part when you are off the clock. Be the best chicken grabber that you can, but at the end of the day, wash your McNasty ass!

6. Liberal Arts degrees are virtually useless. If you want to be a journalist, study engineering or computers and then you will have some basis for understanding what you are writing. (Engineers should learn how to write, too, but trust me, it doesn't take forty-two hours of creative writing courses for that.)

7. Tone down the gangsta crap. It's true, I am the biggest balla' in the 'hood, but still I do not possess the need to say "f-ing this, f-that," all the time. And straighten that damn hat, you look foolish.

8. I mean, NOTHING good happens at two in the morning. I know better than anyone, trust me. Get your skinny ass off the damn streets. I do understand that there are those of us who serve coffee at the IHOP, but if everyone else was not out clubbin' there would be no need for twenty-four hour egg and ham places. Supply and demand, baby.

9. If you fly your Mexican flag, you better the Hell be in Mexico or at least in Las Cazuela, the Mexican restaurant. If you consider yourself Mexican, do that in the comfort that is Guadalajara. You know that it IS considered the city of the future for your homeland.

10. Put down the damn soccer ball, that is just gay. Football, baseball, or basketball are your choices. Hockey, too, if you live in Tampa or Dallas. Some folks say that they play hockey further north, but as far as I can tell, that is just a rumor.

11. Hate Muslims. They hate us.

12. Dream big and strive to achieve that. There is NOW and there will always BE an attainable American Dream.

Add yours to the comments.

How to Be a Carioca 101-The Two Dogs Way

What the Hell is a Carioca, Two Dogs? Well, my not so educated friend, it's a person from Rio de Janeiro. Why the Hell do I want to be one, Two Dogs? Well, you might want to take a vacation to Rio and you sure as Hell don't want to look like a tourist, now do you?

Lesson Number One: Everything goes better with a caipirinha. It's THE drink for every occasion.

"Ae, me ve uma caipirinha!" means "Hey, gimme a caipirinha!" Okay, no problem, buddy. Coming up!

The Recipe: (Always drink in twos, never, ever drink just one)
Ingredients- Limes Sugar Ice &
Cachaca (Ed Note: As near as I can tell, this is a mixture of gasoline and kerosene, but I think that it's made from sugar cane) Optional liquor would be rum or vodka but you gotta change from limes to grapes or something, oh Hell I can't remember.

How To: Smash the limes in the bottom of a glass with several heaping tablespoons of sugar. Drop in some ice and fill to the damn top of the glass with cachaca (or rum, but then it's really a caipirissima and you have to swap the limes for grapes).

Suck 'em down, Lester, you are becoming a carioca! Hey, it's culture and a buzz in Two Dogs Land.

UPDATE: Welcome all from the Carnival of Recipes. If you actually use this recipe at the start of your reading of the Carnival, I promise all the food is going to be great. Even if you have to improvise some ingredients.
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