Early Tech Links for the Week

Since I have jacking around with autoresponders, squeeze pages, blog templates, and an endless list of stuff today, I dug into the tech blogs to find some stuff and hit upon a treasure trove of smart things that everyone needs to know.

I cannot count the number of times that I have looked for webbyblog information in the past and found an obscure blog that is chunking out the hacks and tricks that made things so easy for me. Basil has been invaluable with help, too.

Sidebar: If you ever need to know how to watch a specific show on television, on a specific night, e-mail Basil. He knows how to get to it. Don't believe me, just check this out.

Anyhoo, the traffic studies that I have been doing in my downtime have been a wild success. I am almost back up to the point that we were back in August. Traffic is a little off, but well within the margin of error. I am producing a white paper to tell what I did and how I did it. If you want that white paper, you gotta sign up with me to get it. By the way, those of you that have already signed up, you need to sign up again because I am so stupid that I changed e-mail services without grabbing my danged list, sooooooo, go HERE to do it. Top right, yo.

On to the Tech Stuff....

Big news this last week was an e-mail from Google to all legacy Blogspot blog owners that those accounts are shutting down if they are inactive or have not been upgraded. I have a couple of friends that stand to lose everything if they do not upgrade their blogs or at least freaking post.

I wondered why Google had decided to do this until I saw this post from them today on the re-re-redesign of the Blogger in Draft. Being someone that immediately embraces changes in technology, to the point of madness, I switched to Blogger in Draft right when they launched it. I am pretty much like that with everything, too. (Except for the blogroll on the sidebar.)

In Google Mobile News, here is a list of the Android phones getting Gingerbread.

Docs has released a pagination feature. More at the Google Docs blog.

Google Calendar celebrates five years. Yes, I started using it way back then, too. But, with an Android phone, Calendar becomes ten times more useful. And the Favicon changes every day.

Analytics has added a new Help Center. I have yet to use this service because Analytics is so damned easy to use that I can't comprehend needing to use F1.

Goo.gl has also added some new features, like removing stuff from your dashboard. Just so you know, I do not use any other shortening service and I am kinda uneasy about doing that. Focusing all my online direction toward Google is akin to taking my eggs and placing them all in the same basket. (Yes, I just made that line up. You can use it if'n you wanna.)

Gmail rolls new stuff out every week now. They have a list of stuff that they have corrected. I really like the Windows-type, "Are you sure you want to trash this?" message.

You can also add new custom background images in Gmail. I am very sure that this will come in handy if you have (or are) a vagina.

How about Gmail's new UNDO mobile feature? Kinda clunky, but some folks do not ever check their e-mail on their computer at all. I like to call these folks, "MOH-RONS."

Google Toolbar has been updated. Who didn't know about Alt-G, though?

Check out the new Mapmaker thingy. You can add stuff to the Google Maps and complete addresses and stuff in your 'Hood. I added the address, phone number, and e-mail of Kingfish, including the time of day that you can find him at certain places around Jackmalia.

In case you were wondering, Google Search added "Reading Levels" on the sidebar so our President can find stuff to read and stutter about. Solely for his Crackberry, Google added a https: setting especially for Barry Obama that allows the reading level, "Wetbrain."

Here's an update on Google's long awaited OS. The review is less than glowing. If you base your opinions on what I write, just know that Google did NOT let me in the test group for the tablets, so there is THAT.

I have a content post at Paul Mitchell Affiliates called Four Keys to Killer Articles. Check it out when you go over there to register for the Two Dogs Killah Traffic Getting White Paper.

Please take the time to comment.

Drive-by Blogging - Google Links and a Site Update (More Comcast FAIL)

Just so y'all know, Comcast STILL has not delivered the wireless thingy, so I am still having to tether on my Droid X or lay down on the hardwood floor to plug in. Trust me when I say that I have yet to lay down on the floor. AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN. It has been eight days since the order was placed for wireless internet and tomorrow will be a whole week since the modem was installed. Still no router.

COMCAST FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL.

But, whatever. Anyhoo, this has given me ample time to watch traffic shift and to gauge what is going on with the Disqus commenting system and here's what I got on dat!

This is a screengrab of the address line of a click-through from Google Reader. The bottom line shows what the URL looks like when you get to the Feedburner link. The blue "C" button means "Canonical." If you click on that button, you go to the actual page of the post that you clicked through to read rather than the feed page. This is important for linking purposes, so the site or page you link gets the full amount of link juice that you can spray on it.

Therein lies the problem with Disqus. In case you do not notice, on any page that has Disqus comments, there are added characters (#axzz1GF7nn2Vq on the post below this one to recognize my user settings, yours will be different) that link to the Disqus comments that are not hosted on the blog on which they are installed.

So, Disqus adds to the canonical address of the page in order to link the place for comments.

This is notoriously BAD for link juice purposes. So, either you, as a blogger, must request that the site linking to you uses the canonical page or you lose the traffic that comes with NOT having that canonical page linked. Conundrum? Hells to the YEA-UH!!!

The saving grace to that problem is that if you FEED your blog posts to Twittah or FAILbook, with Disqus, you automatically get the links shown as a "Reaction." This is delicious for ranking. Every time you post, you automatically get two links (or more) if you are sharing that feed with your social media sites.

Plus, I love the fact that you can respond directly to each individual comment. WIN!

Not only that, but Disqus allows you to link to images in your comments with a preview. Double WIN! More link juice for everyone!

On to the stuff!!!

Google has now developed a Delicious import tool. With Yahoo running Delicious now, that might become VERY important. Enjoy.

Google also has One Pass for purchases and sales. Anything that makes buying online easier and more secure is a good thing in my book.

A couple of changes happened in Gmail this past week, too. "Smart Labels" were added. I have tried this and threw it out quickly. I get a lot of forwards and Notifications and I just do not like having those sent to different folders. You might want that if your mother is one of those folks that sends BULK e-mails to everyone. Then, you can go into the Bulk E-mail folder once a week or so and grab all of those, read through them quickly, and discard them.

The other Gmail add that IS a fine, fine addition is "Hide Read Labels." This allows you to set the folders that have unread e-mails to SHOW on the navigation bar and those that have no unread e-mails to HIDE. Good job, Google, I have been needing this since I have around 100 labels now.

Google Apps has added smart contacts. I am really looking forward to when our Profiles have all of the different sites under that one umbrella. I wish that You Tube would go ahead and let us change our user names to the same as our Profile name. Yes, new users get that option, but us "Invited" G-Mailers did not get that option once Google bought You Tube. That is why my You Tube user name is something like architect39042 or some other such nonsense.

Picasa has some pretty cool updates, too. Again, let's roll all these things under one umbrella, Google. I want my Blogger blog and Picasa to get even more cozy than they are already.

While we are talking about Blogger, here are some brand new templates that you can peruse. Yes, FREE.

At least we can now add multiple profile photos.

On the You Tube front, THEY. BE. HIRING.

Google is also claiming that Chrome is now faster, more stable, and simpler. I find that hard to believe, but what the Hell do I know? I am a Firefox Fanboi.

Alternate directions for Google Maps on Android. But, sadly, still no "Avoid Ghetto" option.

And while you are stuck in the ghetto, you have more editing options in Docs for your phone. I have never used Docs on my phone, except to open and read, but I am certain that we shall ALL be using it.

Load time problems with Digg and Facebook plug-ins? You better correct that shit or lose readers and money, yo.

Forty-Five new social media resources from Mashable. That will probably be the last time that I link Mashable unless something really big breaks over there. I just cannot deal with their Libtard philosophy anymore. Their batshit craziness over the Wisconsin stupidity sent me packing. I deleted their feed from my Reader and "Unliked" them on FAILbook. When they quit being dumbasses, maybe I'll join back up.

By the way, eighty percent (80%) of my traffic in the past week has come through image search. Think that MEANS something? Maybe that tells you that you had better put some photos on your blogs and sites?

More to come soon. Hopefully, I'll get my router TOMORROW, Comcast!!! If y'all think that I am going to pay for a week of internet that y'all did not deliver, you be dreaming, playa.

Please take the time to comment.

This Week in Google and Around the Web

I have so much to cover this week because I have been allowing these links to accumulate and they got really out of hand on me. Please bookmark and come back and red this stuff if it interests you like it does me. Man, there is simply too much knowledge to be had and only so much time to go around.

Before I get into this, I wanted to point y'all to my "Resources" page that I have started over at the PMA blog. This is certainly a Work in Progress, but I think that I have gotten a pretty good jump-start on a good mainly free resource page.

The big news this week on the webbynet is that Google busted Bing for piggybacking their SERPs. The data is really somewhat telling, too. Matt Cutts at Google has the video of a discussion panel on the topic, as well as a link to Stephen Colbert comments.

Also, Google tweaked the algorithm a tad and Cutts has something to say about that, too. Really, I think that Google is going to start to devalue backlinks in the near future because of so much misuse. I do not think that they will ever completely kill backlinks entirely, unless there is some better replacement, but traffic is certainly more wonky lately.

Also, in BIG Google news, Larry Page has now taken the helm with Sergey and Eric moving into different roles as well. I am pretty sure this is nothing but good news. The stock sales are becoming somewhat commonplace, too.

Also, the final blocks of IPv4 were assigned last week. Get ready, IPv6, here we come! This change is going to make room for 340 TRILLION web addresses. That number blows my mind, it is like what Obama spends for a weekend vacation!

A Periodic Table for Google APIs. That is just too cool.

Webmaster Tools is getting into some rounding.

Chrome 9 has now synced with Google Docs to create a web clipboard.

The new You Tube homepage is now available to all users. Also, The Official Google Blog has all the week's highlights on You Tube.

Search

The Link Medic has a bit on the Keyword Eye Keyword Tool. We can always use another tool like that.

Here is a tool from Google on Reading Level search. This comes in really handy if I want to finds links that Democrats would understand, I just put Kindergarten in the level and it spits out stuff written with a big pencil on a Big Chief tablet.

Here's LAST week in Google Search. Includes deatils on "Instant" in "Shopping View."

Linking Analytics to Webmaster Tools. I have pretty much linked all of my Google stuff to my profile. Of course, Your MoM got hacked, too, so they had access to everything for about five minutes. Super FUN!

Google Tee-Vee

Check out a quick tour of Google Tee-Vee. It is going to allow News from any Source, so you need to Optimize your site for Google Tee-Vee.

While we are covering television, Basil has some gripes about Hulu Plus.


Search Engine Optimization

SEOmoz has thirty-two SEO tactics to avoid in 2011. By the way, SEOmoz is running a special this month with a thirty day free trial and the first ten thousand people to sign up, get a chance at winning free service for life!

Here is an Social Media Marketers SEO Checklist.

Here's a guide to using Google's Webmaster Tools for SEO. (Video)

Here's how to set up SEOQuake...



Blogging

Blogger in Draft now has a web fonts tool. Yes, Comic Sans is included.

How to get 250k page views a month. Oddly, the tactics are NOT just post bikini chicks each day, every day. Weird.

Basil also has a Blogger v. the Two WordPresses comparison. I think that since college footbaw ended, he is becoming a tech blogger.

Here is an introduction to Blogger's Android app. I have not used it yet, but plan to very soon, I'll let y'all know what I think.

Wordpress has a podcast on How to Grow Blog Engagement.

David Risley has 7 Colossal Mistakes that Bloggers Make. The dark background thing does bother me somewhat. When I go from the normal white background to a black one, it take a second for my eyes to adjust. It's weird. I'm old.

Google Mobile

You can now port your existing mobile number to Google Voice. (Video)

Google Boost has FINALLY made it to mobile. Check it out.

Google Latitude is their brand of check-in service. This is going to go the way of Wave. I am sure of it.

The Android Market website is live.

Honeycomb supports Scalable Vector Graphics.

AdSense

AdSense Goals and Ecommerce tracking.

Longer headlines for select ads.

Location extensions for your brick and mortar business.

The new Interface has still MORE features. They are updating this every Wednesday, now. So, I shall probably push the Google Dump back to Thursday. HEY! LOOK! It's Thursday!

Docs

Docs has added Preview Pane, Music Player, and a Collections feature.

They have also added Quick Starring, Justify, and improved sharing. The improved sharing is eventually going to allow you to add gif images to Blogger. I can already do it, but it is a damned pain in the butt.

Also, the new List Refresh is cool as all get out.

Gmail

Priority inbox is now on Mobile. Unless you have an iPhone.

Google has now added advanced sign-in for Gmail which is really good.

Print from your phone. Who would have ever imagined that twenty years ago?

The Reader link has already been re-added to the menu. It was gone a whole day. But, if you notice, every Google Feed pumped out a test pattern for JS-Blogger-Client. Wonder if that has anything to do with JS-Kit Comments?

Also, this week we got a notification pop-up that calls are free again in 2011. Good deal.

Labs now has Instant Search, too. We didn't need that two years ago when all we could do was play Snake. Today it's different.

And, you'll notice that there is now an unread message icon available in Gmail Labs, too. Shown in the image as "Count!!!"

Desktop notifications for Gmail work okay. I guess I have just gotten used to keeping mine open though and now with the Count showing up on the bar, I know when I have mail.

In case you were looking for some storage, you think 16tB is enough? Only 4k a year from Google. 20gB is only five bucks a year. I am guessing that your data would be pretty safe, too.

Google Enterprise has Gaining Altitude: A New Way to Think About Your Inbox.

By the way, HOTMAIL has started offering aliases for your e-mail. Read, this is awesome.

I am going to have to break this into two posts, it is already WAY too damned long. Don't forget to check out my Resources Page. I am going to link it Your MoM's header, too.

Stay tuned, we are about halfway through this week's links.

Please take the time to comment.

Teh Google Post and Blogging Technique Stuff

This post has been in the works since Wednesday, better known around these parts as "TEH GOOGLE DAY." Since I started this post, bunches and muches of stuff has happened to open my eyes to some SEO stuff and y'all could get the monumental benefit of my knowledge.

You have to sign up for the information, though. If you have already signed up, it is all good, but I am making all the effort in the world to get more folks involved. Now, regulars here kinda think that there is no need to sign up with The Two Dogs Make Your Blog Awesome Like Glenn Reynolds Information School, but yes, it matters and I'll tell you why, too.

We'll just embarrass one of the most faithful commenters that we have, Cousin Andy. You see, Andy seems to think that his little blog is no big shakes, but I am here to tell you that it is HUGE in the scale of the interwebs.

Not to release too much of his business, but Andy's Place is currently, at this very moment, holding down the 4,754,663 spot at Alexa. Now, you'll think, "Poor Andy, he is sucking HARD!" but you would be dreadfully wrong. Granted, there are plenty of ranking ties involved there because the metrics are not exact enough to break those ties and we really do not need that, either. Andy is also holding down a PR4 at Teh Google. (By way of comparison, my business site is a big whopping ZERO.)

In case you are curious, the Blogger in Draft page that I am typing this on is ranked NUMBER SEVEN at Alexa.

There are currently 1.1 TRILLION indexed pages on the web. In case you are a "Progressive" and do not know what that means, that is 1,100,000,000,000. That means that Andy's Place is ranked in the TOP ONE PERCENT of all websites in the world. That's pretty solid if you ask me.

Yes, I realize that you are thinking, "What the Hell does this have to do with me?" Well, while we all say that we are blogging for ourselves, there is nothing that makes me feel better than a long comment thread with much discussion and that gives me a thrill. It makes me feel IMPORTANT and stuff. Same way as I feel when I flip over to check the traffic stats and see a huge surge coming from a bunch of different places.

So, go sign up. I have no idea what kind of response you shall get from the sign-up autoresponder, so if it is something weird, e-mail me. When I get a bunch of folks in place, I am going to give y'all my data from the Teh Google Traffic Studies that I have been doing to go from virtually zero traffic to around 2500 hits a day in Search Engine Traffic. And, TELL YOUR FRIENDS, TOO.

Not only that, but I am also going to give y'all the tricks to getting a HUGE number of backlinks if you are willing to do the work. I might even give y'all my spreadsheet where all you have to do is change one cell and start cutting and pasting.

Just curious, how would you like to have the NUMBER ONE blog in your area of expertise? We can do that easily, too.

Now, to the Internet BLOGSHOW!!!

In case you are wondering what won the Best Antivirus program of 2010, it is F-Secure, the suite that I have used since 2000 and Love Bug Virus. I am NOT an F-Secure affiliate and I still use their product exclusively. In the past eight years, I have only had one problem with any virus or spyware.

Firefox 4 Beta was released on last Friday. (Alexa Rank 65, HA!)

If your RSS Reader is getting chock full and you need to start smalling it up a bit, try TLDR.IT. Their service turns any page or .pdf into a summary. You can only imagine how many times I have used this to summarize SEO E-Books.

Basil has a Roku v. Apple Tee-Vee shootout. Wait, can I say "shootout" anymore without killing people and stuff?

If you are a big e-book reader, you should try the Kindle Lending Club. I have not used this service yet, but the description sounds pretty good.

I am checking out Quora right now and would like to know what y'all think about it. As I stated above, my business site is kicking back a cool ZERO in PR and I am trying anything to bring that up, now. The problem with my business site is that I set it up as a static page and now I do not want to have to jack it around and change it, but since there is NO content, I am afraid that I am going to have to do just that.

If you are a smartphone user, then you probably figured out how to use Teh Google Goggles, but did you know that all of your searches and stuff can be accessed by going to http://www.google.com/goggles/history? Well, now you do.

The Link Medic has a review of Klout. Using this service is certainly in my future.

With the SIXTH! birthday of this blog barreling down upon us, I wondered if longevity mattered and SEOmoz actually answered my question on White Board Friday. Short answer, NOPE.

If you are a Teh Google Enterprise user, good news. Teh Google promises ZERO DOWNTIME. That seems like a pretty good deal, huh?

Here are last week's Teh Google Apps Highlights.

G-Mail gets spell checker for search. It still cannot make a latte for me, though.

I am not sure, but I think that I have had Android 2.2.1 on my X since mid-December, but here are the Android 2.2.1 platform highlights, anyway. It appears they have addressed quite a few shortcomings recently, too.

Still MORE features of the new AdSense interface.

Oh, autogenerated content? Teh Google NO LIKEY.

I am about to embark on some testing with the Teh Google AdWords campaign-y thing driving traffic. This was mucho helpful, too.

In case you were wondering, here is Problogger's Definitive Guide to improving Advertisement Clickthrough.

AdWords, Keywords, Go Mobile, dang, this is getting complicated!

And monetize your exit pages, YOU!

And danged if the Teh Google didn't go and change the AdWord urls right when I was getting started, too!

Download the new AdWords Editor, here.

Teh Google Engage launches to help small businesses. If you are a web guy or IT guy, you need to sign up for this stuff. Remember, Teh Google owns the world.

Coming soon to Teh Google Tasks near you.

Check out all the new stuff at Picasa.

A Problogger's top five favorite Teh Google Analytics happies.

If you have not signed up and started using Hotpot, why are you ruining the world? You know that the Phonebook is useless these days. Start helping out.

Integrated Apps to help with tax season with Teh Google Enterprise. Dang, there is a bunch of stuff there!

I am going to have another post this week with Teh Google stuff and some Wordpress stuff, too. Hell, I might even mention stuff going on with RIM and others. Keep coming back, y'all.

Oh, and you need to get on my list, too. Here is my "p0wning the webbynets blog"s to give you an idea of what is coming. There is a sign-up form there, too.

Please take the time to comment.

The Late Teh Google Posting Post!!!

With the onslaught of Christmas cheer and visiting with family, I simply forgot to post Teh Google updates and weekly gifty-gifts yesterday. Well, that seems par for the course on this pinnacle of mediocrity, amirite?

Let's get to it, folks, I got a family to upset and arguments to start for Christmas.

First things first. Before the beginning of 2011, you need to set up a Terms of Service page and a Privacy Policy page for your website. Do not skip this, just go do it. There are changes coming to the Webbynets because of the criminal Democrats in DC. Both services are free and easily completed. Fill in the blanks, it is Barry Obama proof, even.

Here is an additional Terms submitter page.

By the way, you need to print these out and keep them with the rest of your blogging business paperwork. If you are on Firefox, here is a Print PDF add on so you can keep a digital copy as well.

Also, the Democrats are going to screw you if you take music from someone and do not pay for it. Check out these tips for LEGAL music usage. You know, this blogging thing used to be so much fun, but it only took the Democrats since 2007 to really screw it up.

Plus, since the Democrats are destroying business, wealth, and freedom at a very rapid pace, we small businessmen and women have to adapt, adjust, hide, sneak, and plunder in order to rake a small amount of jack to the hizzouse.

Teh Google has compiled the stuff that we asked for them to provide.

The main thing that we are going to have to do this year is find people to buy our stuff online. That starts with Search Engine Optimization (SEO). Here is a basic glossary of SEO terms.

SEO Book put together a great graphic on exactly how Teh Google processes search terms. Print it out, post it on your wall, and memorize it.

Set realistic goals for what you want to accomplish in 2011. If you want to go from forty hits a day to over 2000 a day, that is NOT unreasonable. Do you know how I know? I did it with a very limited effort in 2010. ON. THIS. BLOG.

In case you were wondering where you can get loads of free traffic, try that social media behemoth, FAILbook. Stick a "SHARE" button on everydamnedthing. Here's who's sharing our stuff. ME.

Then, learn Teh Google's Webmaster Tools. Make you a folder and start saving these Tips posts.

Seriously, here is a tip straight from Teh Google Webmaster Blorx. I have read it threeve times already and STILL do not have a clue what it says. Wikileaks Task Force?

The Webmasters Blorx also has tips for Non-Profits.

The main thing that we need to learn to understand is organic traffic. Yes, we are going to keep getting our friends to the site, but we have to grow the family. Since Yahoo is scaling back Delicious, you better grab all the data you can from the service while it stills lives and breathes.

Plus, if you offer goods and services from a typical local business, claim your listing on Teh Google Places, NOW. This FREE service has sent me some pretty good traffic over the last few weeks since I started using it. Of course, that traffic is there for ME to convert to money and I have been failing miserably at it, but I promise I am going to do better.

And while we are talking about using Teh Google's free stuff to get you an online presence, let's watch Teh Google Sites at work.



Folks, we have to get really creative in 2011 in order to survive the Democrat attack on the population. You do not want to starve, do you?

Google Analytics has added page specific stats. If you have a Google Account, you can sign in with it to get your Analytics code for your site.

I have decided to play around with getting backlinks from some unusual places. The Examiner offers some online publication in niche markets and I signed up for the green building niche on my business site. I guess I need to start posting some articles about how stupid green building technology is so I can get cut off immediately.

Also, I have signed up to make Your MoM a Teh Google News Site and they keep sending me more and more hoops to jump through. The Privacy Policy was one, the Terms Policy was another, now they want me to meta-tag my stuff...

Teh Google News gives us some tips on meta information to include with our stuff to keep folks from stealing it. Believe me, I never thought in a million years that someone would lift some of my posts word-for-word, but it has happened. Dumb. But true.

2010 was a H-U-G-E year for Teh Google Docs. Here is a list of their accomplishment this past year. I would like to be able to take credit for all that junk, but Hell, I cannot even get them to move the damned SPAM button away from the ARCHIVE button in G-Mail.

Here's yet another post on the new interface for Teh Google Docs. In the past month, they have upgraded the interface four times of which I am aware. Each time it gets better exponentially.

Now, revisions in spreadsheets. Are you still using Lotus Notes? FOOL.

Do you want to see what you can do with Teh Google Docs? Watch...



Here is another video about another Teh Google product interface. They have updated the AdSense interface AGAIN. I swear that I am going to start calling them, "Google Claus."

When you consider that with the introduction of Android, normal people are starting to use their phones for more than just talking, you might want to start developing your website for mobile web, too. Yes, I realize that you do not want to do business with people that use the iPhone, but you might just have to do that until it goes the way of the iMac.

Oh, why not just go ahead and make you an Android App, too?

Plus, tying that Teh Google Local into the phoney-phone, you need to start using Hotpot and rating stuff. This is a sooper-dooper targeted search capability. People are moving around LOOKING for your product. You simply cannot do any better than that, yo. Better put that SEO knowledge to work, huh?

In addition to using the FREE! Teh Google services, you might want to look into using other services that are gobbling up traffic hand over fist. Posterous has started e-mail lists. Every guru on Earth has said, "The money is in the list" in one form or another.

Tumblr has been called many things over the last year, but The Best Of is one title that keeps cropping up. Check out my architecture Tumblr HERE.

Wanna make that wacky-wild FAILbook profile thingy? There are many different ways, check FAILBOOKING, or FBCrop, and even TechCrunch has video. Yeah, I did it for ONE DAY. B-O-R-I-N-G.

Mashable has the specs to update your Twitter profile for the "new" interface. Are you using the new interface? I use Seesmic Web, so I do not. Tell me if you are, so I can update my little place on the Twitterverse if you want it.

Speaking of Twittah, Embedly is a really cool feature for linking on Twittah. I am not really sure how that Readon.ly is going to work because it doesn't shorten the Tweet. Wikileaks Task Force?

Captious Nut at Marginalizing Morons sent this link to some Teh Google Chrome extensions and features that I did not know about. The Resources page is great!

By the way, if you make more than twenty grand online, the Democrats have added a new 1099-K form that you will have to file. Vote those bastards out every chance you get, please?

Just so you know, if you are in New York, need a job, and can do some webbynet kinda junk, Teh Google is looking for you. Plus, they bought a building where you will work.

In case you were unaware, Christmas is just around the Friday. You better get busy making a gingerbread house. OUT. OF. MEAT.



If I do not see you before Saturday, Murry ChrimmaHanaKwanzica.

Please take the time to comment.

Teh Google and Webbynet Links

As always, at the end of the year, Teh Google starts rolling out a bunch of stuff to give us for Christmas. Of course, they call it the Winter Solstice Holiday.

Obviously, the biggest news to me is that Teh Google Chrome browser is now Enterprise ready. I installed Chrome on my Cray 38000 about two years ago and like it muchly. It's fast, it is stable, and I like Firefox better. Soooooo....

And as far as the Chrome OS is concerned, some hardware is in test mode right now, with the first wave of retail equipment hitting mid-2011. I applied for a BETA Chrome laptop, I hope I get it to test.

And if you use Chrome, here are the must have add-ons for SEO.

Speaking of SEO, Teh Google also shows reading levels for Search. I do not see "Illiterate Imbecilic Douchebags" as a reading level, so obviously "Progressive" sites cannot rank in Teh Google Search.

I am really looking forward to the full blown roll-out of Teach Parents Tech, Teh Google's attempt at getting your mom off my junk back. They have been hyping this since late last week and have fifty videos currently uploaded. They need to make one on how to turn the computer ON for my ma.

In G-Mail news, there is a bunch of stuff that released since last week. How about "Restore Your Contacts?" Or using G-Mail for Microsoft Exchange? More on the Exchange dealio. Maybe you have decided to create a group e-mail account and let everyone share info through that account? How about even more improved G-Mail for Android?

In case you are a HUGE internet marketing guru (like me), you probably want to block those pesky nekkid girl sites. AdSense is making blocking undesirable ads even better. I blocked the DNC and Barry Obama's agitprop sites. Dude, they are blowing through our tax money on those things like crazy. Plus, no one clicks on them, either!

Oh, you might be a little late on your Christmas Winter Solstice Holiday optimizing. I hear that there is a new thing called an iPod that all the stupid people want. From what I understand, it does about one fifth of what the music function of a Droid X does. That sounds a little HIGH to me, though. A MacApple product that can offer 1/5 of a feature of a legitimate electronic product? Laughable!

In Teh Google Docs news, again, here are some more things that we have influenced with our incessant whining. I want them to add a feature called "Bring Me a Latte, Right This Minute!"

You can also import WMFs into Teh Google Docs Drawings now. I had no idea that anyone still used WMF. Granted, WMFs allowed you to stretch the image and it never pixelated, but dude, them damned files wuz HUGE!

You can also build organizational charts in Drawings. I put together an NCAA Helmet Chart and used it to organize the BCS Silly Season.

In Teh Blarqer-Land, Teh Google is telling us to "Take Control of Your Site Feed." I read pretty much the entire internet every day on my Teh Google Reader. I recommend that after you get some subscribers, back out the full feed to force them to come to your blog. That way you get hits out the YANG and you can monetize those visitors to death. IYKWIMAITYD.

Also, here are eight ways to get more readers. Really, you should just subscribe to Copyblogger.

What is the best time to publish blarq posts if you want a bunch of readers to Tweet your content? Just before 3PM on a Friday. Also, all the major Search Engines admit that Tweets and FAILbook shares COUNT.

Here are some tips to help you get your content shared. Just hit the Pay Pal if you appreciate these tips. NO MINE!!! Not Copybloggers!

In the new post editor in Blarqer, they have added a You Tube search and add feature. Imma try it below to see what I can find.



HEY! It works! And now you know how to upload an audio file to S3, too!

Also, at You Tube, the new menu has some added features. Link to a timestamp? No clue why I would do that, BUT I CAN.

Also, the You Tube annotations are getting more interactive. (Think monetize, BABY!)

And while we are making money, here are some Holiday Tools to help you make your millions.

Remember W-A-Y back at the top of this post when I linked to the Teach Your Folks to Webbynet?" You can also send them this link to show them how to upload photos of Christmas, then you can just stay at home with a bottle and just look at the holiday photos that Pops and Moms uploaded. You do miss the meal this way, but you know that the turkey was dry anyway. At least you missed your great uncle Donald getting nekkid and hitting on his SISTER!!! Dang, that is creepy.

Hotpot, Search, Rate, Discover. Since I have a Droid X, I am using this more and more. No, I am not actually going to any of the places that I find, but at least I know that they are there!

Where to get reading material for the Kindle that your Aunt Marge gave you for Christmas. God bless, Aunt Marge, she gives the bestest gifts. Too bad about Uncle Harold, though. Hopefully he is happy with his new college cheerleader girlfriend, fake tits and all.

Should Wordpress bloggers use Teh Google's Blogger as a back-up? There are numerous ways to back-up Wordpress blogs, but is backing them up all you need to do? Personally, I think that you should have your content posted in at least two places. Get a Tumblr for sure, or maybe a Posterous site to back up your main blarq. I have not used Posterous, but I am planning to after January 1, if Obama is able to keep the lights on in the United States of America.

You can even back up your Tumblr back up, too.

Whew, boy! That was a butt-load of helpful links, you should give me some money or at least link to this post. Speaking of backlinks, another H-U-G-E internet marketing guru has a post up about just that topic today.

Please take the time to comment.

‘Round the Google and Other Techie Stuff (UPDATED!!!)

I am developing this post using Windows Live Writer because it allows me to publish the same content to different places at the same time. Dude, that is handy-dandy. Live Writer also gives me a preview while I am assembling the post. Yes, it is FREE!!!

The only problem that I have found is that images do not insert like I would prefer. But, it does upload those images to the proper place automatically, which is a plus. That is if you use the default storage from your platform, which I do not. And, if you like adding the Zemanta Links or something else at the bottom of a post, Live Writer doesn't do that, either. But, you can upload as a draft and add those things before you go all publishy and stuff.

Let's just say, having used this for about a week or so, it is more than worth the price (FREE!!!) and it allows you to see your posts in three different views before posting, edit, preview, and source. The html is a little heavy in Live Writer, but that happens on Blogger in "Compose" mode, too. If you are just a Nazi for minimizing the size of your post code, you can always go back and delete those four characters for the double space. Yes, I do.

UPDATE: Andraž from Zemanta left a comment correcting me on my comment about Live Writer not supporting Zemanta content and links. It does and it looks just like the interface with Blogger and Wordpress. Dude, they got it going on and to drop by a little blog like mine and leave a comment shows a level of customer service that we have not known since the Co-op stopped shelling walnuts. Here is the Zemanta Plug-In for Live Writer. Like the kids say, "It is Da Bomb."

I am thinking that at some point, Google Docs will develop a blog publisher because of the extensive clipboard stuff they got going on.

How about writing campaign speeches using Docs?

Docs also allows you to use the service to collaborate. Here is a story on how some doctor-people did just that.

Teh Google Docs is also adding Fusion Tables. I have completely rid myself of Microsoft Office and have only been using OpenOffice for about two years. I think that within the year, I'll be rid of OpenOffice, too.

And why has Mozilla not produced something like that? It seems just tailor made for a plug-in. Oh, you can check to see if your Firefox Plug-Ins are up to date, here.

Here's an update on that whole privacy thing that Teh Google got into with Buzz. They settled.

G-Mail has released five new themes. The Droid one is pretty cool, but I shall still stick with "Shiny." It doesn't hurt my eyes. just so you know, a dark background with white writing makes my brain bleed.

It seems that You Tube only has one billion subscription subscribers. You would think with so many people using the service DAILY, there would be ten times that many.

Teh Google Instant rolled out to MO-BILE yestiddy. Funny, I had been using it on my Droid X since I got the phone. Why use MO-BILE web when you can use REAL web on your over four inch screen?

AdSense is ramping up the tutorials on their blog. I had a conversation with another blogger last night about the "Make Money Online" business gurus. While I have gleaned much information from some of those guys, mainly my information on traffic and links comes from the source of most search engine traffic. Seems like Teh Google would be the best source for how Teh Google picks WINNAHS, huh? I subscribe to THIRTEEN Teh Google blog thingies. That is nuts, and it is not all that they have, either.

By the way, if you are a Po-lock, Adsense has a service for you, too.

As a matter of fact, here is an actual Teh Google Sites webinar on Steegle. The format is a great design and works well. If you just want a recap of the webinar, here it is on Teh Docs Blog.

As long as we are doing a tech post, Teh Twittah has got new graphics to go along with their new HUGEJASS heavy coded new format. But, instead of using Twittah's format, why not just use the Wibiya toolbar at the bottom of this 'chere blog, yo? Seriously, Twittah should have thought twice about that new format.

By the way, if you read e-books, here is a FREE! site that has bunches of them. And guess what? All you deadbeat writers that could upload your war tales, your cooking secrets, and whatnot, you should do that at the site I linked. Don't cost nothing and maybe you could get someone interested enough to grow your information products business. You know, maybe publishing math worksheets or poetry even.

Naw, you'll never do that, it might be really profitable and get your name up in lights or something.

Please take the time to comment, to try out the Wibiya toolbar, and make me a damned sammich!

Teh Google White Trash Wednesday Post

She's wearing a wife beater tee-shirt, get it?

In an attempt to create a better blogging experience for my reader, I am trying to figure out a schedule for these Teh Google posts so you can pick up the latest Teh Google trends and stuff without having to keep hitting F5 over and over again. I think that Wednesday, my lowest traffic day by far will be the Teh Google day. If you have any objections, please lemme know in the comments.

As an occasional reader of this blog, you might not know that I am a big proponent of free market capitalism that exists nowhere on Planet Earth. What I have increasingly found is that there is a rising community of people that are trying to develop this unknown economic system online. That interests me greatly.

To establish that economy online, traffic is the single most important thing. I have been running traffic studies on this blog and other small blogs to test some of my theories that run contrary to typical traffic ideas. Some of my stuff appears to be working, some has failed miserably. Here's what I know beyond any doubt whatsoever, stellar content makes all the difference in the world and knowing exactly what traffic you want helps you come up with strategies to attract that traffic.

If I wanted to, I could have the NUMBER ONE pr0n site on the entire webbynets because I keep up with sports blogs. You do the math and put that together in your head.

Stellar content gets found by search engines and Teh Google is kinda important when you see that with the addition of You Tube, they now control about 6.4% of ALL internet traffic.

Also, labeling and tags are of the utmost importance. I wish I had known that I would be shifting my gears to establish a business presence online about five years ago when I started putting the dumbass tags on my posts here. Despite what mediocre content is on this blog, it is a very good traffic source proven beyond any doubt by the fact that I drove 600 people to the html site that I built and linked here yesterday. Average time on that one page site was over three minutes and there are only seventy-one words on the site not including the six in the header and header image. Figure that out for me please? My readers are slow readers?

Anyhoo to develop authoritay, step one, create wonderful content that people want to read. That seems easy enough, right? Step two, label your posts with relevant tags that are current and not stupid. Those labels are wonderful linky things for the search engines. Check out the Label navigation on the right sidebar. You shall notice that mine is a pulldown instead of the whole label list showing. If someone is searching for something on your site, the label navigation is a great way for them to find it, but as you grow your blog, that list of labels gets quite large. Currently, I have about seventy labels, dude, that would gobble up some screen real estate, so pulldown is the way to go.

If you wanna be like me, simply go to your Blogger blog dashboard thingy, go to the Design tab and add an Page Element for the Labels. Then, click over to "edit html," check the "Expand Widgets Template" checkbox, and simply replace the code seen in the image to the left. Click it to see it large if you are old and blind. If you return to the Design tab, you will still have the selections like a normal widget, PLUS one. Enjoy.

On to the BLOGSHOW!!!

Did you know that you can Keyboard Shortcut your way to awesomeness on You Tube?

Teh Google has changed their sidebar search to reflect Places instead of Maps. You BETTER have set up your FREE! Places account for your business, yo. This equates to FREE LOCAL TRAFFIC, the Utopia of money in your wallet.

Teh Google is also slowly rolling out Boost, another Teh Google Local Search thingy. Dear Mr. Phonebook, eat a dick.

Teh Google Docs has a new, new, new Piechart thingy. I cannot wait for a break so I can go make some dumb piecharts about Democrat criminal stuff. Let's cut to the video, Chet!

G-Mail is asking for help to improve Tasks. They like to give away free stuff for people testing their stuff, too.

You can add Auto-Advance in G-Mail if you find it in your G-Mail Labs tab. I cannot see that this actually saves me any time, though.

If you do find that YOU have some free time, though, how about you grabbing some free e-books for your Droid X or another inferior internet device? They have a crazy big list, too.

Please take the time to comment.

Teh Google, Internet Marketing, and My Earball.

A quick ear update because y'all axed. It's better, another coupla' days and I'll be fine. Sleeping for about 500 hours the last two days kinda helped a bunch. Thanks for the concern.

To the BLOGSHOW!!!

I think that we can all agree that Technorati does NOT know footbaw!!! And they cannot add either. My "AUTHORITAY" adds up to 445.

Whatever.

Blogger has another "Help Us Make Blogger Better" thingy going on. I want REAL trackbacks, what about you?

By the way, have you Blogger users noticed the "Report Editor Issues" link right below the Post Editor? It was not there for me until today.

The Stats gadget moves from the Draft testing ground. I am still using Google Analytics mainly. What do you do?

G-Mail has rolled out a feature where you can turn off conversation view. I am not going to do that, if I wanted that, I would go back to Outlook.

And for further oddities, Teh Goggle Enterprise has this about switching to G-Mail from Outlook.

There is also a new Recent Buzz section on G-Mail as well. I don't know about you, but I am just not loving Buzz just yet.

But, I just upgraded to Android 2.2 and got the updated G-Mail on my phone! It is awesome and I am loving THAT.

Does anyone else think that it is funny that G-Mail is on Twittah? Yeah, I follow them, what of it?

Oh, and for those of you with Android, check out Listen.

For students, check out Online Office Hours for Google Docs. This is kinda like Go to Meeting.

And revision history has been added for Google Docs collaboration. I think that this must have come out of the Wave testing period, so it was good for that, huh?

AdSense has rolled out some new videos to help you with optimization. It's a pretty good show, but not as good as simply putting "Ines Sainz NUDE" in your blog titles.

Here's some of you You Tube ads questions answered. Do you think that Dude has ever been in a video before?

Here's a video about You Tube Promoted Videos. Honestly, my personal opinion is that the internet money IS in video right now. Now, if I can just figure out how to sound like Sean Connery instead of Earnest T. Bass, we can make a killing!

Here is a tidbit on Postini, Google's Security Network. Dude, this is impressive.

From Problogger, Eleven Ways to Convince Readers to Buy Your E-Book. I told y'all I was gonna start writing, and y'all are gonna start buying, too!

Also from Problogger, Eight Reasons to Add an E-Course to your Blog. If y'all will think back a coupla weeks, I put that e-course up on how to watch college footbaw from my Scoreboard. Want some more of that?

I am going to make a video and e-course to show y'all how awesome the Google Wonder Wheel is. The only problem with the Wonder Wheel is that you have to turn off Instant Search, but it is wicked cool. Gimme a coupla' days and I'll get on that.

Finally, Dave Navarro's 2010 More Buyers Mastermind is live! If you do not sign up tomorrow, the price is going up, up, up!

Boy, I have been asleep for two days. Things are piling up. Tomorrow morning, I got a HUGE linkdump to drop with over twenty-four links. Sorry, I get sick and you gotta read the posts from three days accumulation.

Really, you need Dave Navarro's Mastermind if you want to make a living on the internet.

Please take the time to comment.

Droid X Update, Because the iPhone SUCKS

Well, we have had the X for about a month now and I gotta fill you in on how it performs so far.

I am pleased with everything now, EXCEPT the fact that Verizon has not rolled out the Android 2.2 update for it, yet. Dude, I am dying to try out the new G-Mail app. Not that G-Mail doesn't work swimmingly already, but there are some other features, JUST LOOK!!! Dammit, Verizon, hurry the Hell up.

By the way, the last update on this phone I gave y'all, I said that text messaging was slow. Something happened and it is no longer slow. I have no clue if Lexington actually got electricity or something, but it ain't no problem, NO MO'.

By the way, if you are ready to get rid of your little iPhone, here is the description of the Android/Teh Google Phone Gallery. And if you do not want to LEARN about the gallery first, here is the damned gallery, you no reading so and so.

Here are some of the cool thingies that the Android can do in your car. If you are a dumbass, please do not use your phone while you are driving.

Teh Google has also bought out BlindType to make the keyboard get more awesome. Really, I have no idea why this is necessary, I never type on my Droid anyway. The voice thingy works very well.

I think that Teh Google Mobile Ads are gonna be the way to go in the future, all you business types. Check out the Hyperlocal Ad Feature.

As an aside, if you Tweet or FAILbook from your phone, you should use a client to do that. Try Seesmic Mobile, it is what I use and it's FREE!!!

Last, but certainly not least, when I bought my Droid X, the salesman told me that I needed to get a cover or the screen protector. I opted for the screen protector for a mere fourteen bucks. I found it HERE for FIVE bucks, and they even have five percent (5%) off of that, too. I got ripped off. Yeah, they even have fanny packs for your iPhone, too.

Please take the time to comment.

Happy Birthday, Teh Google, You are Twelve!!!

This morning was also the first time that I hit NUMBER ONE on Bing!!! Wait...

Anyhoo, this blarq is nearing six years old and we have been on Blogger, Teh Google's blogging platform, for the entire duration! That is my gift to you, Teh Google. I hope you enjoy it.

And on Teh Google's twelfth birthday, we link to the Public Policy Blog that shows how Teh Google has been able to become so huge. The majority of the time that Google has been operating, Republicans have been running the show. Just so you know, if Democrats were in powah back in 1998 when Google started, the service would be nothing but an Indian (feather kind) blanket and a roaring bonfire.

Here is a way that you can help Teh Google Maps do a better job of running all of the Democrats out of the country. You see, ZERO small businesses are run by Democrats, so Small Business Blog is STRICTLY for Republicans. Since Teh Google doesn't have Food Stamp Blog or PBE Check Blog, I guess there is limited information for "Progressives" on Teh Google. (Yes, I am well aware that Larry and Sergey are Moonbats.)

Also, since Teh Google kicked off, they have delivered all kinds of fun toys to my pocket, including the Droid X. I only wish that they would hurry up and upgrade my OS so I could use the NEW TEH G-MAIL stuff on it!!!

Oh, but you know, the iPhone does an awesome job, amirite?!?!?!

Here are ten G-Mail tips from Mashable.

Here is a good move for Teh Google. Shut that damned "create a feed" service down. I used it for a couple of sites, y'all, and it was utter bullshit. I appreciated Teh Google trying to drag businesses into the RSS craze, but the feeds that Reader generated were Teh Suck.

Hey! Look! Liberal media is dying a slow painful death and they are going to try to keep afloat by using You Tube! Sixty Minutes, going to You Tube, wow.

Here's a tip for Sixty Minutes, try to actually publish some honest content on your You Tube page. The titles, description, and tags are important. Please try to remember not to falsify documents and stuff. It makes you look kinda screwy and dishonest. It might make you lose H-U-G-E clumps of market share.

Google Wave HAD to have had something to do with the new collaboration tools in Docs. So, methinks that Wave was ultimately successful.

New Teh Google Docs has multiple ways to import your files.

And whatever you do, do NOT forget that the OCR in Docs is working swimmingly. I have used it to translate an recipe screengrab from an old magazine and it missed ONE WORD.

Explaining the Ad Auction in Adsense.

Here's a little post about some social sharing plug-ins for Wordpress that goes well with this Teh Google dump, huh?

Oh! I almost forgot, I put up photo albums with Ines Sainz NUDE and Larissa Riquelme NUDE. Needless to say, they are kinda NOT. SAFE. FOR. WORK.

Please take the time to comment.

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Update on Droid X and Teh Google

When we last checked in on the Droid X, it had been decommissioned by an incompetent Verizon "technician." I went round and round with Verizon when the new replacement phone was back ordered.

Yes, the Droid X sold out in four days. Not good planning there Motorola.

Anyhoo, I went back to the trusty old stand-by, the MotoRazr V3 for about two weeks. Guess what? I STILL do not have a reason not to keep using the V3 other than I want to be even more obnoxious with my mo-BILE phone.

Anyhoo, anyhoo, Verizon gave me nearly seven hundred bucks in credits because of the problem with the tech and the new phone. Plus, the new Droid X was only 99 bucks. So, staying with the same company since 1986, while they are being bought and sold, must make for some value. I guess it does not hurt that up until Ma got hitched and I got rid of the UBS card, I was shelling out about five hunnert smackers a month for my service.

On to the review...

It is impossible to do a head to head comparison to the iPhone because the iPhone is so far inferior in every way except for battery life. So, if you have an iPhone, I am sorry, we'll catch up through the US Postal Service or something. Do you iPhone users really have a string attached to every other iPhone in the world?

The Droid X is flat-out awesome. It does everything exceedingly well, except the text messaging is slow out of the box. When you receive a text message, it take about nine seconds to actually get to it. All of the contact data loads, avatars included, and it holds things up a bit. Once that is loaded, sending a return message is one click and speak. The Google talky thing has messed up a total of ONE message that I have sent and I sound like Jethro Bodine.

The browser is blazing fast and the bookmark thingy is straight out of Minority Report.

Adding Twittah and FAILbook drags every bit of the information from those people including what they are wearing RIGHT NOW. (Not really, but damned near.) Add the Seesmic App, it is smooth as silk.

The integration with G-Mail, Docs, Maps, Reader, blah, blah, blah is perfect. This alone puts the iPhone in the shade. This one little feature should put MacApple out of business.

Short answer, I give this phone all THREE of my thumbs up. Get one. NOW. After using it for a week, you'll want to hunt Steve Jobs down and punch him and every one of his fanboys in the junk.

Now, for Teh Google news.

Since we were on the X, the Wall Street Journal covered Teh Google Instant and I wanted to say that it works really well on the X, too. There is no limit to how much Instant Search is going to change the web. No limit.

Teh Google released a new conversion e-book to try to address some of the upcoming changes. Grab your copy from the top link here.

I have been going back and forth with three folks on the advantages of Wordpress v. Blogger. I still cannot see why I can't make the modifications to Blogger that Wordpress uses as a standard, but this Blogger template seems to be almost exactly what I want from a blog. If I could ever figure out how to add the updated templates and still use the HTML editor that I like in Blogger, I would have never switched for my business blog and all of my future blogging endeavors.

Well, except for my Tumblr. Dammit, I love that Tumblr. If you like unique architecture, you will too.

Calendar added SOUND NOTIFICATIONS!!! I kinda missed those, but I turned them off in about an hour and a half.

You can win some free advertising from Teh Google TV Ads by entering this contest.

From the You Tube Blog, they are rolling out TRIAL LIVE STREAMING. Goodbye, Hulu.

Also, from You Tube, SEXY GOLF CARTS. Not kidding. And did Jimi Hendrix write that bumper music?

Teh Google Places has added tags. They have not been in place yet for the traffic testing for me, but I'll let you know. I guess it can't HURT.

Docs Viewer is different, now. Kinda Scribd or Adobe Reader-esque, huh?

Docs has also increased printer options. Just for your information, printer ink is allegedly the most expensive fluid on the planet.

Here are four more link-building thingies for your amusement. Of course, we employ Zemanta in this here blorx and I have not noticed a single difference.

And just as a quick diversion, Colombian lingerie chicks. And this one is a TWIN!!!



Please take the time to comment.

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