Unfettered Free Speech is a Great Thing

Some folks would disagree, but I think that it is awesome these kids did this. Some members of the East Carolina marching band decided to take a knee during the National Anthem. I really believe that is their right.

BUT...

I certainly hope that none of these morons have federal grants or subsidized (or unsubsidized for that matter) student loans, because when I am President, there is going to be a VERY HARSH penalty for their stupidity. Please understand, in Greenville, North Carolina, the median age is twenty-six (26) and the population is 60.2% white, with a 52.4% non-family demographic. But, their Congressman is the Chairman of the Congressional Black Caucus...LOOK!!!

Please keep in mind, these are all Democrat voters. The party should have been outlawed when they fought so hard to keep slavery, or maybe they should have been outlawed when they tried to keep women from voting, or maybe those Jim Crow Laws should have done them in.

Anyhoo, normal people better ammo up and be ready, this ain't going away any time soon. You know, North Carolina voted for Barry Obama in both of his/her/zers/ambiguous others Presidential Elections. (I have been out of the political loop lately, did Barry and/or his "life partner" pick out his/hers/zers/ambigous others pronouns yet?)

Please take the time to comment.

My Apologies to TSUN (I was wrong!)

I just wanted to take the opportunity to apologize to my friends from TSUN. I have trash talked y'all unmercifully since I was about four years old. I picked We Suck to win the Battle for the Golden Egg by seventeen points this year. I made that call back in July, not because We Suck was so very good (because they aren't), but because TSUN was so very bad.

(BUT, WE WON RECRUITING THIS YEAR!!11!1!!!)

Last night we learned exactly how bad TSUN is. Bo Wallace, the Junior "quarterback" for TSUN, had a whopping 18.2 QBR. Seriously. TSUN's offense crossed midfield but three times, once only to the 48 yard line. The two trips to the RED ZONE netted one field goal because TSUN missed like a 26 yarder or something.

The Four Letter continually referred to TSUN's "high powered" offense this year because you have to be an insaniac to work at The Four Letter. Get this, TSUN is ranked 28th and 43rd in passing and rushing, respectively. We Suck is ranked 55th and 48th. H-U-G-E difference, huh? Last night, they combined for the yardages that each team was averaging per game. Great job.

Now, about We Suck. If I had the power, Dan Mullen would have been given his final check midway through the second quarter (of the Oklahoma State game!!!). This dude was brought to We Suck to bring the offense. HO-LEE SHEE-IT!!! We Suck has less than 3000 yards passing on the year.

Finally, I am already predicting the score from next year's match-up in Klansingtonville between TSUN and We Suck. We Suck by fourteen.

Oh yeah, CROOM!!!

Please take the time to comment.

College Gameday - Week 2 September 15, 2013

I figured out how to make the old College Gameday Scoreboard work again. Enjoy.

Please take the time to comment.

Sunday Morning Quarterback**

Since there is virtually no FEAR of Andy publishing Sunday Morning Quarterback™ today, I decided that I would.

In case anyone is NCAA College Footbaw illiterate, I shall explain that the Bowl Championship Series doesn't publish a Final Poll after the Bowling. Their job is done before the silly season starts. In fact, the BCS ends immediately following the World Championship Game that is held every year in Atlanta.

So, we have to crank up the Cray 36,000 and cipher all this crap ourselves to show everyone how far SUPERIOR the SEC actually is.

It is an easy thing to place Auburn at NUMBER ONE. They went undefeated in the SEC. That should be an automatic NUMBER ONE ranking across all polls. This year is equally solid by having the Heisman Winner, Cameron Newton on the Plainsmen.

After the number one, though, things are not so solid. TCU played ZERO ranked teams. They won against a Big 10(11)(12) team in their bowl game. That does nothing for me toward ranking them up top. The fact that there were three first place votes in the APee, and one in the USA poll, kinda makes me believe that there are at least three people in college footbaw that are too dangerous to be allowed in public.

Then Oregon and Stanford. Again, Oregon played one ranked team and beat them and that was Stanford. Stanford played one ranked team and LOST. Plus, Oregon's strength on offense was their HUGE 335.9 yards per game rushing. In the game against The Barn, Oregon gained SEVENTY-FIVE yards. Plus, Auburn made two minor mistakes in that game that cost them two touchdowns. The score should have been at least 34-19 for The Barn.

Stanford lost to Oregon. Feh.

tOSU lost to Wisconsin that lost to TCU who played NO ONE.

Then we have Boomer Sooner. True, they lost two games, but the two they lost were to ranked teams that lost in the Big 12 circle, too. I just do not discount those losses because they ultimately matter and Boomer went on to beat another ranked team in the Big 12 Championship Game.

So let's look at this thing like people that understand mathematics, mmmmkay?

Auburn is number one with no doubt, even though there are morons that voted instead for TCU.

Oklahoma is number two because of SOS and their W-L in the only other legitimate conference DIVISION, the Big 12 SOUTH.

Then LSU, Alabama, Arkansas round out the top five.

Oregon is SIXTH in the REAL MATHEMATICALLY DONE Poll.

Oh, and in case you are color blind and cannot understand the chart, the SEC finished the year with SIX ranked teams, after 84% of the conference went bowling. The Big 12 comes in second with five ranked teams, ACC is third with four, Big 10(11)(12), which is going to change to the Big (?) this fall, is fourth with three, then the PAC-10 and the WAC (WTF?) tie with two, and then all the other loser conferences fall in line.

Oh, did I mention that since the start of the BCS, there have been thirteen BCS Championship Games? Of these 13 games, an SEC team has been to seven of them. Five different teams have represented the SEC. The SEC is 7-0 in the BCSCG and has won the last five.

The SEC is undefeated in the BCSCG and there is no other conference that even has a winning record in the same game. Weird, huh?

Now, is there ANY debate topic left to mention or did I sufficiently PROVE that the SEC is best conference in all of college footbaw?

By the way, The We Suck MSU Bulldogs finished the year at number 15 and prison raped Michigan in the Gata Bowl. What is up with that?

** Remember to send Andy a message about how much he slacked off on the SMQ this past season.

Please take the time to comment.

And a Happy 2011 to YOU, from Your MoM

I have the round-up of awesome posts pretty much ready, but I do NOT want to publish it today. Not because it is a Saturday, but since it is COLLEGE FOOTBAW Bowl DAY!!!

WE BE CROOMING!!!

Enjoy the games, folks. If you want to sneak another Best of YOU post in, you better get it done today, because the Your MoM's Family 2010 Best of Posting post goes up first thing Monday morning.

Love ya, mean it,

YOUR MOM.

Please take the time to comment.

AP Weeks 14 & 15

If you want to see how freaking USELESS the APee College Footbaw Poll is, look no further.

If you recall, the Oregon Panty-Wearing Booty-Boys did not play on Week 14. The Barn beat their in-state rival, Bammeroids. But, the APee S-T-I-L-L ranked Oregon over The Barn.

Yesterday, Auburn defeated the SEC Eastern Division Champeens, 'Cocks, in the National World Championship Game. The Barn did this in a fashion that left absolutely no doubt at all that Cam Newton is the only legitimate candidate for the Heisman Trophy and that The Barn is certainly the World Champion.

The Oregon Flamers played their in-state rivals, BEAVERS, yesterday as their final game, because the Nancy Conference, PAC-10, does not play a championship game.

Today, Oregon and The Barn LITERALLY traded the vote count from last week. This totally makes no sense whatsoever if you are trying to make the argument that Oregon deserves to even be in the Top 25.

At the end of the season, let's recap the competition of the two. Keep in mind that both finish the season undefeated and The Barn won the World Championship Game That is Played Every Year in Atlanta, too.

Oregon played ONE TEAM that is ranked in the APee final poll, Stanford. You know that Stanford is not any good, too. Come on, it's FREAKING Stanford.

Auburn played FIVE teams in the final APee poll and defeated one of those TWICE. The fact that there is ONE pollster that would vote for Oregon over Auburn (much less TWENTY-THREE!) PROVES beyond any doubt that the APee is utterly, completely, and totally useless.

Man, I wish someone would come up with a way to have a play-off.

Please take the time to comment.

College Gameday - Week 14 - December 4, 2010

There is only one game that matters this weekend, and College Gameday is as far away from it as they can get and still stay in the country. Lee Corpseco and his crew are attending the Girls Field Hockey and Ballet Championships somewhere out Northwest. GO BEAVERS!!!

Man, I certainly hope that you have purchased your College Footbaw jerseys. Oh, and get your Beaver jersey here.

For those of you that are looking for NCAA Division I Footbaw, there is only one game today, The National Championship Game That is Held Every Year in Atlanta.

We have The Barn v. The 'Cocks at 4:00Pm today for the WHOLE KIT AND KABOODLE. The game is on CBS and it shall be the only game that I watch on television this year. That is, IF I can figure out how to turn the television on. the winner of today's contest shall be the Undisputed National Champion of College Footbaw 2010!!!

The Barn is -5 and the O/U is 62.5. I am going whole farm, hog, and wallet for The Barn and the over. If The Barn wins this one, they get an all expense paid trip to the Silly Bowl in Phoenix on January 10, 2011. The draw back? Brent Musburger. College Gameday!!! Please take the time to comment.

Subtotal on the BCS

BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING ON MONDAY, GO TO HOST GATOR AND GET 50% OFF OF THEIR ALREADY INSANE HOSTING PRICES. CLICK ONE OF THOSE HUGE BLINKING THINGS TO THE RIGHT. WOULD I LIE TO YOU?

*You are going to have to click this to see it bigger*

While I am normally against a team dropping on a BYE, it doesn't bother me with Oregon because there is NO METRIC that would place them in first over Auburn anyway. The BCS was wrong last weekend on that.

Anyhoo, this graphic is stolen from the Four Letter's Standings Page and cobbled together to show all of the teams in the Top 25 along with the bowl eligible teams in their respective conferences. Of course, the PAC-10 is still not finished, so I guess that they could ALL actually win, because I do not think that the PAC-10 plays by actual rules, it is just what F-E-E-L-S good to those morons out there. Hell, they might even award THREE wins per team next weekend.

Here are Week 13 (14 according to BCS) Rankings

1 Auburn                          (SEC)
2 Oregon                         (PAC-10)
3 TCU                              (MW)
4 Stanford                       (PAC-10)
5 Wisconsin                    (Big 10{11}{12})
6 Ohio State                   (Big 10{11}{12})
7 Arkansas                     (SEC)
8 Michigan State            (Big 10{11}{12})
9 Oklahoma                    (Big 12)
10 LSU                            (SEC)
11 Boise State               (W-A-C)
12 Missouri                     (Big 12)
13 Nebraska                   (Big 12)
14 Oklahoma State        (Big 12)
15 Virginia Tech             (ACC)
16 Alabama                    (SEC)
17 Nevada                      (W-A-C)
18 Texas A&M               (Big 12)
19 South Carolina          (SEC)
20 Utah                            (MW)
21 Florida State             (ACC)
22 Mississippi State     (SEC)
23 Arizona                      (PAC-10)
24 West Virginia           (How the Hell did a Big Least team get in?)
25 Northern Illinois        (How the Hell did a Mid-American team get in?)

In case you do not notice,  there are six SEC teams, three PAC-10 teams, two from Mountain West, three from the Big 10(11)(12), five from the Big 12 (three of those from the South), two from the WAC, two from the ACC, with a Big Least and a Mid-American team thrown in just to PISS ME OFF.

At this stage of the season, this doesn't look TOO bad, other than the Top 12 not being just straight SEC, but we have to let the lesser conferences get some play, too.

Now, if Auburn can just finish the REAL season out by beating 'Cocks, and the Beavers can finish off the Orbs, or whatever Oregon is, we can get a BCS Silly Game with TCU playing The Barn.  That is what we want, y'all.

Get your Beaver and The Barn jerseys.

Please take the time to comment.

The Newest Oregon State Fan in the World

As we come to the end of the college footbaw season, I find myself compelled to become a HUGE HUGE HUGE Oregon State fan. GO BEAVERS!!!

We kinda need this one, y'all Beaver folks. Get your jersey ON!!!



By the way, the College Footbaw National Championship Game shall be held this coming Saturday, December 4, 2010 in Atlanta. The Championship Conference West Champions, the The Barn WarPlainEagTigs will take on the Championship Conference East Champions, the 'Cocks of the Palmetto State. Since I am a Westerner, I shall be pulling for The Barn. I simply cannot keep those jerseys in stock, though. What is up with that?

Here is the THIRD The Barn jersey that I have posted. It's Cam Newton's, too!!!



Here is the MoM SEC jersey store, go get one for the entire family, including THE DAWG!

COLLEGE GAMEDAY!!!

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College Gameday Week 13 - That's a Wrap!!!

*As always, click the images to see them larger than life.*

Dude, I sure hope you did not play my picks or took my advice to go whole hog the other way. You were warned, man.

Let's wrap this one up, I did my normal SUCK, too.

I took Vols at -2.5 and over 58.5. Got the winner, missed the O/U.

On the Geaux Tigers +3.5 and over 54. Lost the winnah and a toss or a push (whichever) on the O/U.

Da Gates +2.5 and under 51. Missed the winner and nailed the O/U, using the push, we got a double. Really, I had no feel for the Criminoles. Did Bobby Bowden DIE or something?

On We Suck laying 3 with the under 54. Picked the winnah and another toss or push on the O/U.

I had 'Cocks -2.5 and over 45. Got the winner, missed the O/U, so minus two on the O/U with a push.

On Wake v. Vandy, I had Vandy -5 and over 49.5. Missed both. Where the Hell did that Wake Forest team come from? They were 3-9 in the ACC!

I had UGA -13 and over 56.5. Lost the spread and got the over.

Let's add 'em up. Three winnahs, three losers, minus one O/U. So for me, A STELLAR DAY!!!

On the College Gameday hits and traffic...

Every week this season, we were on the very first page of Google for "College Gameday" and the date. Usually number one or two. Today was the first time that this NEW number one showed up. We beat The Four Letter more often than not, too. So, our little College Gameday family is beating out the OWNER of the "College Gameday" brand on Teh Google. How are we doing this?

ESPN uses too much Flash on the College Gameday page and no embeds in that Flash. Of course, theirs is a rock solid position because they own the BRAND. We have leeched off of them and done very, very well doing it, too. At the very top on Teh Google for the entire year. Much can be said about this Blogger hosted blog hanging with them for the Google searches.

Now, on to the Bing rankings. I have just now started playing with Bing and I am utterly underwhelmed with their SERPs. Just because I am not pleased doesn't mean that there are not people running Bing exclusively, so I have to get better at those searches.

How do I accomplish that obviously IMPOSSIBLE task? Look at their results! Hockey is first, basketball is second, BC v. Syracuse is third...I mean, that is just BULLSHIT results, folks. Let's be serious, they are terrible. Still, last weeks post IS on the first page, right above BC and Syracuse AGAIN! Does Bill Gates own those colleges or something? There is not a single RANKED team on the very first page of the Bing results. How the Hell does that happen?

Well, now we have to wait until next weekend's National Championship Game to see which SEC team plays in the Silly Bowl against the Oregon Owls (or are they the Utes, I dunno, really)?

Next Saturday, the USC 'Cocks will battle The Barn WarPlainTiggles (I can never remember what they are) for the Division I college championship. 'Cocks are 9-3 and The Barn is undefeated. 'Cocks did play The Barn pretty good earlier in the season, but I really am impressed with the Professional Quarterback that plays for the Plainsmen.

As it stand now, I like The Barn and want them to win, too.

Oh, and thanks, Corch Croom, you really came through for us today at We Suck!!!

Please take the time to comment.

College Gameday - Week 13 - November 27, 2010 (UPDATED!!!)

UPDATE: Since today is the day after African American Friday, do not forget to get the people that you really care about their SEC jerseys for Christmas. You do not want your family to HATE you, do you?

Dude, I almost forgot to post this College Gameday! No FREAKING way! If you are looking for The Four Letter's Circus Clown Posse, they are actually at a FREAKING footbaw game!!! Remember there are only one point five (1.5) conferences that are legitimate championship conferences, the SEC and the Big 12 South. Kirker Streeter Herber's Moron Mafia is at Boone Pickens Stadium, Okiehomie for the Cowboys and the Indians Sooners game. This is a Big 12 South game, in case you are stuck watching PAC-10 footbaw and do not know anything about Division I footbaw. Worse, if you are stuck watching Boise State footbaw, and have no clue how the game is played by the males of the human species, turn on the color television set and find this game. It might terrify you, so keep some ridiculously blue GAYNESS in your vicinity for homo-comfort. (Please keep in mind, just because you are a sissy, it doesn't mean that you have to always BE a sissy.)

My game picks are below the scoreboard, and I am a stellar 0-36 on the season. Please read my picks and then go whole hawg the other way. It would be nice when you become a multi-millionaire betting against me if you sent along some of your windfall. Mind your manners, Colonel Rube...



Dude, the lines are changing like crazy today. I really cannot get a true reading, but as I write, the line is what I see. I have never seen the boards do this as crazy-ass nutz crazy.

First game out, The Barn at Bammer. I cannot find the line or the over, so just pick The Barn to win 28-27. Use that score exactly and I think that you will be pleasantly surprised. For some reason, the sports books just do not want to fund this game, maybe they are just too skeered.

UK at Rocky Top. Da Owange is -2.5 O/U is 58.5. Rocky Top has a chance to go bowling if they pull this one off. Look for them to do it, UT and the OVER.

Geaux Tigers (#5) at Hawgs (#12). Hawgs are -3.5 and the O/U is 54. There is a Duck-Line at Hawgs -5, too. I have always thought that home field advantage meant something, but obviously Begas is just not on the Geaux Tigers. But, I am all-in on the Geaux Tigers with the over. Look for the Hawg's Big Tex (How gay is that nickname?) to play for the PRO-MONEY and have a good day unless the Tigers knock him the FUCK out.

Da Gates at Da Criminoles. Gates +2.5? I am unsure of how good the Criminoles are because this is their only game of the year. The O/U is 51 and that is just weird because I cannot imagine the Gates scoring 51 points. Do the Criminoles even have scholarship athletes? Why do Flarda Gates schedule someone that only plays one game a year? Weird. Da Gates and the under. In related news, Jenn Sterger was a walk-on linebacker at Criminoles. She has pictures of BrittFarr's PENIS.

We Suck at Knee-grow Bears. The West Dawgs are minus three and the O/U is 54. Let's just say, Dawgs and the under. I really cannot pick this game, just like all the other games.

'Cocks at Clemson. USC -2.5 O/U 45. With the 'Cocks as the East Champs, I think that this game might be closer than folks think. Why would 'Cocks Corch Spermier play folks and get them hurt in a game that doesn't matter? 'Cocks and the over, anyway.

BYE at Vandy. Really, it is Arnold Palmer against Vandy which seems like a pretty good match-up. Palmer is +5 and the O/U is 49.5. Arnie is actually eighty one years old, so I do not look for him to perform too well. Look for Palmer to lose and Vandy to run up the score if they can.

GayTech v. UGA. Can this actually be right? UGA -13 and O/U 56.5? REALLY? Anyhoo, this game is for bowling rights for UGA. Pick the East Dawgs and the over.

And today, please Corch Croom, bring some CROOMIN' to the We Suck West Dawgs. We N-E-E-D this one. We NEED it.

College Gameday!!!

Please take the time to comment.

Today on Your MoM

For the twelfth week in a damned row, Your MoM has led Teh Google for "College Gameday + date." We are perfect for the season. Yes, we have led The Four Letter every week for that search and it is totally organic, as well. I have not manipulated anything at all on those posts.

Also, I was asked what the hell I was talking about with the Search Box. I made a custom search for Teh Google shortly after I started this blog. It is a totally html search box, too.

I started to get jumpy with all the changes that Teh Google is making lately, so I built yet another search box for us to use. If you load Your MoM and scroll down quickly, you can see the new box slowly loading. If you choose the lower search box and hit "Search," the results load right below the box. Try it, I think that it is pretty cool.

Are the We Suck Dawgs still winning? I cannot look.

Help us, Croom-y Wan, you're our only hope.

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College Gameday - Week 12 - November 20, 2010 (UPDATED!!!)

No, seriously, I had to keep going back to the Moron Four Letter to keep checking to see if I was right. There is just no way that College Gameday can be in Chicago for the Illinois v. Northwestern game. Even those MORONS are not that freaking stupid. Nope, they are. Illinois is 5-5 and Northwestern is 7-3 and they are both in the Big 10(11)(12). No seriously, I am not kidding. That is where College Gameday is today.

COLLEGE GAMEDAY SUCKS!!! By the way, look for a HUGE shocker in the game breakdowns below. A HUGE SHOCKER!!!

SCOREBOARD MOVED TO NOVEMBER 27, 2010.

WAIT! Do we have three teams with BYES this week? Well, I see that the NUMBER ONE The Barn is off this weekend (will they fall out of the Top Ten for not playing?), UGA is off this weekend, and UK is sitting at home getting ready for their final game with Rocky Top that (Thank you, Lord) is AWAY!!!

At 12:21, Troy and his bitchin' Trans-Camaro rolls into Columbia to face the 'Cocks. In case you were unaware, Troy lurves the 'Cocks. USC is laying 22.5 with the O/U at 57.5. Look for the 'Cocks to mushroom tattoo Troy and achieve the OVER.

At 12:30, we have App State at Da Gates. Since Flarda is not a Big 10(11)(12) team, look for this game to be unexciting. The line is Flarda -24, O/U is somewhere around 64.5. Flarda and the OVER.

The 3:30 game pits African American Bears at Geaux Tigers. This game in a normal year would almost be a pick-em, but the Klan sucks so hard and so fast this year that Geaux Tigers are favored by 15 with the O/U at 51. LSU has to know that this game is really important even though Klansingtonville is DEAD LAST in the West and is the only team in the West that is yet to become bowl eligible. They must win out to get there, too. But, look for the Tigers to roll to an easy win and make the OVER.

At 7:00, Razorhawgs at Starkvegas. This is the best game in the country this week. There is your shocker. The 13th ranked Hawgs and the 21st ranked We Suckers are playing the best game of the week. I never thought that I would write that in my lifetime. I was wrong. Hawgs are minus 3.5 and the O/U is 52. State has three games this year over 52 points and all were out of conference patsys. Let's go We Suck and the UNDER. (Another shocker, I picked We Suck to win. I think that is five times that I have done that IN MY LIFETIME.)

Rocky Top at Vandy. The Orange is favored by 8.5 or 9 and the O/U is 49.5. Let's just say, Rocky Top and the OVER and be done with it.

Final game is Bammeroids v. Georgia State. Pick Bammer to win 63-7, this is my LOCK OF THE WEEK. Bet the entire farm, steal your neighbor's farm, wife, and tractor and pick Bammer to win 63-7. You'll thank me later.

College Gameday!!!

And CROOM!!! (Yes, if Sylvester Croom was still the corch at We Suck, there would not be so much cheating talk going on. Corch Croom was the MAN.)

UPDATE: Would y'all believe that the MoM Jersey Store has sold out of The Barn, The 'Cocks, and Razorhawgs jerseys? Dude, that is crazy, THOSE THREE TEAMS?!?!?! I am headed down to the store now to add some new stuff. You should go buy that crap up, too.

Please take the time to comment.

College Gameday - Week 11 - November 13, 2010

If you have been directed here to find where The Four Letter's Vapid Wasteland of College Footbaw FAIL is being held today, they have yet again opted to stay away from sports today and have headed up to Columbus, Ohio to observe tOSU play JoePa. It's like they do not want to go to a single game that matters!!! Next week I bet they head to a PAC-10 game or WORSE! (Not that there's anything worse than a PAC-10 game, other than maybe having to watch Boise State.)

SCOREBOARD MOVED TO NOVEMBER 20, 2010.

We have a full slate of games today, so let's get to it.

At 12:00, we have Kneegrow Bears at Rocky Top for the "Battle of the Bottom." The winner gets to take home twelve pounds of turds in a four pound sack. Klansingtonville is getting two points and the O/U is 55 at the majority of the books, but I actually saw one line at The Klan -2, O/U 56. In other words, this is a pick 'em. Take The Klan and the over.

Vandy at UK. Holy shit, that makes sixty-four home games this year for the Cats. UK is giving 15.5 and the O/U is 55. Does it seem that there is not too much focus on DEFENSE anymore? Burr Bryant has GOT to be rolling over in his grave. Vandy and the over.

The East Dawgs at The Barn. UGA is plus nine and the O/U is 63. I really think that this might be a good game since UGA and Bammer traded teams, but still, let's go with The Barn and the OVER.

The UTEP Miners at Razorhawgs. The 'Hawgs are giving thirty and the O/U is around sixty. I really do not know that much about UTEP, but let's go 'Hawgs and the OVER.

Monroe at Geaux Tigers. Le Smiles has got the Geaux Tigers back in the mix despite all of the fans saying that the Tigers suck. Bizarre. Geaux Tigers are minus thirty-three and the O/U is 46.5. That is funny. Let's pick Le Smiles and the over. I don't look for La-Mon Whorehawks to score much.

'Cocks at Da Gates. I honestly thought that this would be a Pick 'Em, too, but it is late in the year and 'Cocks seem to come out limp as the year wears on. Gates are favored by almost six points and the O/U is 51.5. Let's go Gates and the under.

We Suck at Bammeroids. Bammer -13 and O/U is 46.5. Last week I was thinking that We Suck had a shot at this one, but Le Smiles and his Tigers kinda screwed that up, now I am not so sure. No, Bammer is not as good as they were last year, and yes, We Suck is certainly better, but can The Sabear lose two in a row? Since I am getting thirteen, Imma say We Suck and the OVER. Dammit.

College Gameday!!!

We be CROOMIN'!!!

Please take the time to comment.

College Gameday - Week 10 Wrap-Up

Well, the NUMBER ONE, The Barn, continues their winning ways. We expected that, too. Even though I only worked a split out of The Barn's game yesterday, I still would have made money on my picks. I am not positive, but I think that is almost the first time that I would have achieved that level of WIN! since I have been publishing this blork.

Remember, last week, the PAC-10 Oregon Ugly Uniforms replaced The Barn atop the BCS poll. This is not that scary to me, because The Barn would still play the Ugly Uniforms in the Silly Bowl should both teams win out. Unless, pollsters have something to say about it.

Let's go to the Cray 260000 footbaw predictor and logic regulator to show how stupid pollsters are.

To size Oregon and The Barn up head-to-head for ranking purposes, we must use FACTS, MATHEMATICS, and LOGIC. Pollsters, that obviously only went to tOSU and uSCCC, seem to think that those tools are unnecessary.

Here are the facts.

Oregon beat #9 Stanford and #24 uSCCC. Stanford beat #15 Arizona. uSCCC has beaten ZERO ranked teams. That is the extent of the argument for Oregon to be number one. Admit it, that is some flimsy shit.

However, The Barn beat #12 'Cocks, #20 We Suck, #12 Razorhawgs, and #6 Geaux Tigers. 'Cocks beat #22 UGA, and the NUMBER ONE team at the time, Bammeroids. Just ONE win from The Barn outranks everything that Oregon has produced for the whole season. I think the NUMBER ONE team is pretty clear between the two. Well, unless you are an idiot.

Not only that, but The Barn is undefeated in the Top Ranked Conference, The SEC. Plus, they have TEN WINS v. Oregon's nine. Folks, there is not a single metric, that is measured, that gives any legitimate reason that Oregon would EVER be ranked over The Barn.

Granted, pollsters, that only went to tOSU and uSCCC, do not even regard the SEC as the top rated conference, which it is. Notice the ranking points separating the SEC and the PAC-10. Also, notice the points separating the PAC-10 and the next two conferences. Again, there is LITERALLY no comparison between the two teams or the two conferences.

Again, there is no reason AT ALL that Oregon could ever be ranked above The Barn. The funny part is that everyone knows it, too.

Please take the time to comment.

Betting, Raping, What's the Difference?

The Number Three NUDE Blog in the entire Bloggy-s-fear, according to Bing, had a pretty good day at the Sports Book. We came outta the blocks SMOKING!

Let's run 'em down. My picks in BOLD.

Flarda (-14, O46) v. Vandy. Flarda 55-14. WINS!

UGA (-44.5, O55.5) v. I-DA-HO State. UGA 55-7. WINS!

UK (-47.5, U64) v. Charleston Southern. UK 49-21. LOSERS!

The Barn (-40.5, O74.5) v. Chattanooga. The Barn 62-24. Split! (Really, The Barn, couldn't y'all have kicked a damned field goal to freaking COVER?)

Bammer (-6.5, O44) v. Geaux Tigers. Geaux Tigers 24-21. LOSERS! (Um, this does not bode well for We Suck next weekend.)

Klan Bears (-20, U63.5) v. La-La. Klan Bears 43-21. Split! (Really, over by 0.5!)

Hawgs (+3, O59) v. 'Cocks. Hawgs 41-20. WINS! (Outright, too.)

Rocky Top (-19.5, O52) v. Somalia. Vols 50-14. WINS! (I bet they burned Memphis down, tonight.)

So, we went four wins, two losses, and two splits. If I had bet the farm, I would have gotten a nice cow and a young, hot speed milker from the Wisconsin 4-H Club to go with it.

In other real sports news, the Big 12 South went NUTZ today. I cannot find any news about any other conferences because I. DON'T. CARE.

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College Gameday - Week 10 - November 6, 2010

Here we are in Week 10 of College Gameday and The Four Letter's Saturday Cartoon Show by the Same Name has decided to skip yet another weekend of College Gameday. You would think that Kirker Kirkerherb Street and his pantaloons buddies would want to be near a college town, but I guess not. I mean how bad do you have to hate college footbaw to be anywhere other than the Bammeroids v. Geaux Tigers this weekend. Or 'Cocks v. Hawgs? Or maybe even check in on the NUMBER ONE The Barn as they play Chattanooga? Okay, I can understand missing that one, but seriously, The College Gameday squad heads out to Salt Lake City to watch a FREAKING MOUNTAIN WEST GAME?!?!?!?! Oh! I see, they are both undefeated. Um, yeah, neither of them have played a single team that doesn't suck bad enough to be stuck in the PAC-10. Good Lord, why are these two teams ranked?

Whatever. COLLEGE GAMEDAY!!!

SCOREBOARD MOVED TO NOVEMBER 13, 2010.

Boy, we have got some suck-filled-shit-suck-nasty-wouldn't-want-to-see-'em games this weekend. Must be Homecoming?

Flarda kicks the weekend off at Vandy. Max line is Flarda laying 17, but average line is 14. O/U is 46. Take Flarda and the over.

Idaho State at UGA. Only one book, 5Dimes, has got numbers up and it is UGA -44.5 and O/U is 55.5. I think that is funny since Idaho State just moved up from the PAC-10 to the Big Sky Conference. They are no longer a team that is not playing any competition week in and week out like the PAC-10 or the Mountain West. Take UGA and the over.

Charleston Southern at UK. 5Dimes is the only book taking this one, too. UK -47.5, O/U 64. I mean, damn! You would think that UK was playing Oregon or uSCCC on someone with numbers like that!!! UK and the UNDER.

5Dimes must be trying to boost earnings or something. They are again the only numbers I can find on the Chattanooga v. The Barn game. Auburn -40.5, O/U 74.5. Honestly, I have no clue about Chattanooga at all. What the Hell is their mascot? Oh, it is the African American Bears or the Buccaneers. The Barn. The Over.

La-La at Klansingtonville African American Bears. Kneegrow Bears -20, O/U 63.5. One book I saw at the Klan at -32. Yeah, let's not go there. The Klan Bears and the under.

Hawgs at 'Cocks. This is the second best game on the board this weekend. 'Cocks are either favored by 3 or by 5, weird. O/U is around 59. I'm taking the Hawgs and the over. I gots meself a feeling.

Rocky Top v. Somalia or Memphis. The Vols are about a 19.5 favorite and O/U is about 52. Seriously, this looks like an upset special right here. Somalia is always bad, but is Rocky Top good enough to pull down those numbers? Yeah, let's do this. Vols and the over.

Bammeroids at Geaux Tigers, the game of the week. Geaux Tigers are a 6.5 dawg and the O/U is 44. Boy, this one is tough. Both teams have one loss, but the Corndogs loss is a better one, a one touchdown loss to the NUMBER ONE The Barn. They also have wins over three ranked teams. Man, the PAC-10 and the Big 10(11)(12) never have to worry about that happening, huh? Bammeroids lost to 'Cocks by 14, but they have wins over two Top Tens and JoePa at 18. Gimme Bammeroids and the OVER. Look for Les Miles to try something crazy and go all Donovan McNabb with the clock. The Sabear's gonna bring it.



Since I am currently cold enough to wear socks, y'all are probably dying from the cold. Get you a coupla' team sweatshirts. Dude, check that price!!!

And whatever you do, do NOT miss out on the MoM Jersey Store.

COLLEGE GAMEDAY!!!

In case you did not know it, we don't be no Croomin' this weekend. We Suck is OFF to get ready for Bammeroids next weekend. I think that We Suck will beat Bammer.

Please take the time to comment.

Saturday PM/Sunday AM - College Gameday Wrap-up.

Just so y'all know, we had a pretty impressive showing on the major Search Engines today for our College Gameday thingy. On Teh Google, we actually came in sixth for "College Gameday Week 9." On Bing, we were second. We have not been off the first page on either search engine for "College Gameday (plus the week)" this year. Y'all are doing AWESOME!!!

Check the image. The search results delivered from Bing for "college game day october 30 2010" actually led to the post from two weeks ago, though. BING FAIL. However, I outranked The Four Letter, Wiki, and Brad Carroll. BAM! In yo' mouf'.

On my picks, dude, I kept the streak alive, I SUCK!!!

Andy, on the other hand, picked Cornhuskers by 14. Did it on the nose. Picked Auburn by 30. Won by 20, but the spread was six and a half. Oregon by 10. Won by 21. Picked Iowa by 2. Won by 31. Picked K-State by 6. They lost. And picked Baylor over Tejas. Won again. Andy went 5-1. Not bad, and I cannot wait to see Sunday Morning Quarterback.

Here's what I did. Picked Vols with the points, won, but lost the under. Picked The Barn. Won. Picked the Razorhawgs. Won. Picked State to win, but not cover on spread or O/U. Split. I did not pick the UGA-Flarda game ACCIDENTALLY, but I tell you, I would have lost on both counts there.

By the way, I think that the last time Mississippi State won six in a row, it was 1999 and no one had ever heard of that moron, Barry Obama. Ah, good times.

Dude, I cannot wait for Week 10, when is Saturday at?

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College Gameday - Week 9 - October 30, 2010

The simpering idiot screechfest of the Four Letter, College Gameday, is camping out in LOSERVILLE for the uSCCC v. Oducks game. In other words, they have taken the week off from college footbaw. Does anyone know why they are playing junior high school footbaw on a Saturday? But, today in PAC-10 News, it is NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

Below the Board, we have the match-ups for the Championship Conference and my limited handicapping! Enjoy the day, y'all.

SCOREBOARD MOVED TO NOVEMBER 6, 2010.

Games are as thusly...

The day starts with Rocky Top at 'Cocks at 12:21. For all of you Vol fans, this year must hurt. Conventional wisdom is that the pain will not stop today. With the 'Cocks giving about 17-18 points, and the O/U around 48 or 49, I would go with Vols and the under. So it is written, but Vols LOSE.

The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party is today, too. Dawg Sports has brought the Hate Week and runs down every bit of history in history on this game. I saw the line at three earlier this morning, but right now it is at +1.5 UGA with an O/U at 48. Pick 'Em.

The Barn at African American Bears at 6:00. The Barn is laying 6.5 points and the O/U is at SIXTY!!! Normally, I would root for the Klan the Black Ursas, but today, we need The Barn to stay undefeated so as not to totally ruin the BCS.

Vandy at Razorhawgs at 7:00. Razorhawgs are laying over twenty points to the Bilties. O/U is stuck on 54. I am assuming that Mallet is playing!!!

UK FINALLY gets the Hell out of town and travels to We Suck. 'Bout damned time, reminds me of those Bammer years when they played 26 home games every season. The West Dawgs are giving six points to an O/U of 56.5. Let's give this one to the Suckers, but I do not think they'll make the spread or the O/U.

Bammer and Geaux Tigers are off this week and they play each other next week. If The Four Letter wants to send the dumbasses to a good game, this would be the one, y'all.

COLLEGE GAMEDAY!!!

And, and, and, say it with me, CROOM!!!

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The BCS - Once Again Into the Breech - College GAMEDAY!!!

The Four Letter Network's College Gameday made the decision to try to get as far away from college footbaw as they could get without going to Boise. They are in SoCal for the National Junior College Handicapped Championship with Oducks v. uSCCC. I am not really sure where the Oducks play, but I am certain their town sucks. At least they didn't name their team, "The Trojans!!!"

"Hey, Jim, let's start a junior college footbaw team, but name it after something you slip on your junk!!! It will be a laugh riot!!!"

All across this great country, there are people that believe as I do. However, only in the South are there people that believe as I do that get to experience REAL college footbaw. I love my philosophical brethren, but when some right-minded person from Cali brings up the PAC-10 and wants to talk college footbaw, I just yawn.

Such is the case with Nigel at Six Meat Buffet this morning. I have all the sympathy in the world for PAC-10 homers, they have never experienced college footbaw FAH reals.

Let's check in on the historical record from the onset of the Bowl Championship Series to get a grasp on the way things really are. Luckily, since the BCS started, there have been metrics that have kept us from having to watch a uSCCC v. tOSU "championship" game every year. Obviously, the VAST majority of sportscasters, those morons that talk sports, went to SoCal or Bucknuts. That is the only explanation for those two teams EVER being ranked in the Top 100, much less the Top Ten.

Let's get those two LOSERS outta the way really quickly.

tOSU has played in three BCS championships and actually won one! They beat Miami, a team from the Big Least. They lost to Florida and LSU, who play in the, um, SEC.

uSCCC has played in two championship games and won ONE. They beat Boomer Sooner and lost to Tejas. Both teams are from the only other legitimate championship conference, the Big 12 SOUTH.

Two additional teams deserve a special mention. Flarda State Criminoles and Boomer Sooner. Oklahoma because they have played in the game four times, with a record of 1-3, losing to two different SEC teams (Geaux Tigers and Flarda) and uSCCC. Flarda State played in the first three, winning one against Va Tech of the Big Least and losing to Rocky Top (SEC) and Boomer Sooner (Big 12 SOUTH).

The Big Least has played in two games and is 1-1, with two different teams playing, Va Tech and Miami.

The ACC has played in three games and is 1-2 with only Flarda State representing.

The Big 10(11)(12) has played in three games, is 1-2, with only Bucknuts representing.

The PAC-10 has played in two games, is 1-1, with only uSCCC representing.

The Big Twelve SOUTH has played in seven games, with a record of 2-5, with three different teams playing, Boomer Sooner, Tejas, and Nebraksnatuckysaw. Okie and Tejas won one apiece.

Finally, the SEC. The SEC has won the BCS Championship Game for the last FOUR YEARS. In the twelve years that the BCS has been in operation, the SEC has played in six games, fully HALF of those games. Of those six games, the SEC has lost ZERO. Of those wins, the SEC has been represented by FOUR different teams, Rocky Top, Geaux Tigers (twice), Flarda (twice), and Bammer.

I would like to be able to say that today's number one in the BCS poll, The Barn, would add to the championships that the SEC has, but the reason that the SEC has not won every BCS game played to date is because of the parity in the conference. There can technically only be one undefeated team in the SEC, because they play a conference championship, unlike the PAC-10 or the Big 10(11)(12).

So, to summarize, one THIRD of the SEC has won one HALF of all BCS games and the SEC has never lost. Not once. There is no other conference that has a WINNING record in BCS games, much less an undefeated one.

To simplify things in college footbaw, I make the proposal that the Big 12 SOUTH champion and the SEC champion play for the national title every year. That is the only way to have a true college footbaw champion.

No hard feelings to you, the lesser conferences, there is simply no comparison of your conference to the SEC. This is not simply my opinion, which I have held ever since I figured out what college footbaw was, but the history and mathematics kinda proves me right. Get over it.

(PS. If I missed a conference in my rundown on the BCS game (from memory!), I am sorry, but y'all are irrelevant to the world as a whole and you know it. And the image on this post is to show y'all that even the suckiest teams in the SEC, have the hottest chicks with the biggest...um...hands.)

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