Online Lessons Learned This Week

Whew boy, this past week has been a gut full and I have been forcibly taught some damned hard lessons. I'm a good learner, though.

The main thing that cropped up was that when you try to have an online business with many tentacles, NEVER, I mean NEVER, try to tie those things together to "make things easier." Especially if there is another person involved where the relationship can sour, no matter how solid and honest you believe that other person to be. If you are depending on someone else for a part of that business, isolate that part where it can never corrupt the other parts that are unaffected by that other person.

I'm warning you, you do not want to sit up half the night trying to figure out why you are getting weird messages from your server every two seconds. One more time, either you maintain complete, total control, or you are going to get screwed somehow, someway because you have what amounts to ZERO control. Understand, it does not matter WHO this person is, what role they play in your life, and what you think the future holds for that business relationship. When another person is involved, you cannot see inside their head or heart and bad things can blindside you. It is going to end poorly for your online experience if things are not isolated one from another. I learned this the hard way over the past twelve hours.

Luckily, I never lost my business e-mail despite repeated requests from the other part of the server to connect. Ouch. You can only listen to "DROID, DROID, DROID, DROID, DROID" for so long before you damned near lose your mind. I had to take the whole site down that was affected.

Around two AM is when the autoresponder caught up. With two different types of widgets, Blogger and Wordpress, involved, I had to take that down, too. Whatevs, by that time the site was completely offline anyway, so I killed the mailing list and the subsequent e-mails. But, again, "DROID, DROID, DROID, DROID" in the middle of the night is utterly terrifying.

Not to even mention the ongoing fallout with Google Places, Bing Business, Yelp, and other services. Paul made a bad mistake.

Let's recap. When trying to establish an online presence for your business, keep things separate, one arm from another. You'll thank me for that tip, when an appendage gets cut off. This morning, this is what the Posterous conglomerate looks like.

Not only that, I had to take down the business FAILbooks, because of the widgets going crazy. Understand, this whole mess occurred over ONE FREAKING PASSWORD!!! Who knew?

Well, here comes the good news!

I found Lucid Chart for the online construction of flow charts and graphics. Oddly enough, I was looking for this type of stuff for another project to help out my business partner. It works really well, too. I wish I could show you the diagram I made for Barry Obama's decision making process, but I deleted that in my haste to try to wrap things up last night.

Google Docs has added pivot tables this past week, too. This is going to certainly make data presentation easier.

Google has also added Google Advisor to help with financial decisions. I am still wondering how on Earth I am going to do without Google when the Depression starts in earnest at the end of June. I am not looking forward to that, y'all.

Well, that is about it, I got a dump truck load of work to do trying to get a snippet of code outta every site I currently manage. Pray for me...

Please take the time to comment.

It's Like Sunday and All, Over a Week with No Post...

Over a week ago, I told y'all that I was going to start posting regularly again, but I got distracted with traffic experiments and checking some stuff out and I thought I would give y'all some more ideas about raking in visitors to your blogs. Currently, there are about thirty or so folks that come here on a daily basis, entering on the main page. I guess those are the folks that are part of our family, but have not embraced the Google Reader or another RSS reader service. I did that very same entering on the main page thing, too, about five years ago.

Now, performing traffic studies from regular visitors and commenters really does us no good to expand our reach in our little clique, we are looking for new folks, amirite? There are way more than a couple of ways to accomplish this task, too, but we want something that is fast and reliable. I think that I have found something that works and seems so very easy to do.

About a year ago, I started looking into the stuff that drives traffic. I signed up with all kinds of marketing services and subscribed to webbynet blogs to find the key. The MAGIC BULLET, so to speak. Of course, just watching what Glenn Reynolds does would be enough for most people, but how many linkfest blogs do you think that the blogosphere can support? Anyhoo, when I started with the studying, I was averaging less than five hundred hits a day, then ramped that up to about 200k in the month of July of 2010. Then I realized that I was getting non-specific search engine traffic, which again, did us no good for what we wanted, so I cut that crap out.

What I wanted was daily traffic in the 5000 range, but with multiple pageviews. That means, 2500 unique hits, but with two pages viewed per visit. I wanted the readers to stay here and hang out, maybe make some comments, and tip their hat a time or two. We are not at 5k a day yet, but the visitors are beginning to visit more than just the landing page. That is what we want.

I tried a link building service which just so happened occurred at the same time that my blog got marked as spam because someone figured out my mobile posting log-in. That was pretty easy to do when I made it "MEANOLMEANY." How stoopid was that? So, I got bumped back to about sixty hits a day from search engine traffic for a minute.

This is the Sitemeter look-see at the end of last week. I shot this early on Friday, the image below was shot a few seconds later. What we see is that close to a third of our hits look at more than one page. Close to what we want. The traffic is also pretty stable with relatively few posts. Constantly posting really doesn't matter, HUH? Couple that minor Teh Google slap with the fact that I have only posted eighteen times since February.

Statcounter is a better traffic service, it has more information to let you see what traffic you get, what keywords people entered to get to your site, what links they clicked and the hot areas of your content they read. It is pretty much the same as Sitemeter, just more detailed. Of course, if I need a quick idea, Sitemeter is what I check. Old habits die hard, you know?

What I have noticed is this, making a well placed comment on a very high traffic blog or website and including a link to a relevant post sends folks right over. I tried this on a slow news day, Saturday, and dropped a link to an old post that gets very few visitors, just to see how it worked. It takes a day or two for the hits to come, especially linking in a Saturday post comment section, but that technique works swimmingly.

Yet another traffic building technique that builds goodwill, and in turn your network, is linking other folks' blogs. Stacy McCain has pimped this idea throughout the political blog circle and pretty much everyone is all up in some Rule 5. Of course, logic tells you that most folks just want to look at hot chicks in bikinis, but pretty much everyone benefits from the circular linkage. Teh Google likes some direct links to posts, but do you really want your link juice to be to your bikini posts or Sarah Palin NUDE? Or G_d forbid, Helen Thomas NUDE? That might get you an "adult" (or in Andy's case, a HOLY SHIT ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!?!) tag with search engines.

Oh, always acknowledge the folks that link you. This is getting exceedingly hard for me to do because I do not have the time to keep looking around for those links. It is simple with Blogger to see the other folks on Blogger that are linking you because it is right at the bottom of the post, but cross platforms kinda do not work well. Create a Google Alert for your site by entering "link:yourshittyblog.com" into the Google Alert box and adding email notifications to that alert. It is not perfect, but usually it works.

Get DAILY notifications, too. Then you know that:

William Teach linked your blog, not just once, but twice in the last two weeks.

That Dean is kinda busy today, but recommended your mediocrity, anyway. And for sure link back to the stuff of theirs that you find interesting, like Pelosi and Charlie Sheen.

And not only do the guys at Pundit Press have a fetish for Salma Hayek, but they like the Da Newz that you have a fetish for, too.

If you have friends that like talking about male genitalia and Donald Trump, link that stuff, too. Granted, that might get you an "adult" tag, as well.

But, now I am fiddling around with the old skool Trackbacks and trying to integrate that with Blogger. I found this html add for it, too. BUT! You gotta have Disqus installed. (See what I did right there? Remember?)

And I found this "TWO DOGS" video amusing. But, I wish to Hell that You Tube would quit FAILbooking up their linkage stuff every danged week.



Please take the time to comment.

Drive-by Blogging - Google Links and a Site Update (More Comcast FAIL)

Just so y'all know, Comcast STILL has not delivered the wireless thingy, so I am still having to tether on my Droid X or lay down on the hardwood floor to plug in. Trust me when I say that I have yet to lay down on the floor. AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN. It has been eight days since the order was placed for wireless internet and tomorrow will be a whole week since the modem was installed. Still no router.

COMCAST FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL.

But, whatever. Anyhoo, this has given me ample time to watch traffic shift and to gauge what is going on with the Disqus commenting system and here's what I got on dat!

This is a screengrab of the address line of a click-through from Google Reader. The bottom line shows what the URL looks like when you get to the Feedburner link. The blue "C" button means "Canonical." If you click on that button, you go to the actual page of the post that you clicked through to read rather than the feed page. This is important for linking purposes, so the site or page you link gets the full amount of link juice that you can spray on it.

Therein lies the problem with Disqus. In case you do not notice, on any page that has Disqus comments, there are added characters (#axzz1GF7nn2Vq on the post below this one to recognize my user settings, yours will be different) that link to the Disqus comments that are not hosted on the blog on which they are installed.

So, Disqus adds to the canonical address of the page in order to link the place for comments.

This is notoriously BAD for link juice purposes. So, either you, as a blogger, must request that the site linking to you uses the canonical page or you lose the traffic that comes with NOT having that canonical page linked. Conundrum? Hells to the YEA-UH!!!

The saving grace to that problem is that if you FEED your blog posts to Twittah or FAILbook, with Disqus, you automatically get the links shown as a "Reaction." This is delicious for ranking. Every time you post, you automatically get two links (or more) if you are sharing that feed with your social media sites.

Plus, I love the fact that you can respond directly to each individual comment. WIN!

Not only that, but Disqus allows you to link to images in your comments with a preview. Double WIN! More link juice for everyone!

On to the stuff!!!

Google has now developed a Delicious import tool. With Yahoo running Delicious now, that might become VERY important. Enjoy.

Google also has One Pass for purchases and sales. Anything that makes buying online easier and more secure is a good thing in my book.

A couple of changes happened in Gmail this past week, too. "Smart Labels" were added. I have tried this and threw it out quickly. I get a lot of forwards and Notifications and I just do not like having those sent to different folders. You might want that if your mother is one of those folks that sends BULK e-mails to everyone. Then, you can go into the Bulk E-mail folder once a week or so and grab all of those, read through them quickly, and discard them.

The other Gmail add that IS a fine, fine addition is "Hide Read Labels." This allows you to set the folders that have unread e-mails to SHOW on the navigation bar and those that have no unread e-mails to HIDE. Good job, Google, I have been needing this since I have around 100 labels now.

Google Apps has added smart contacts. I am really looking forward to when our Profiles have all of the different sites under that one umbrella. I wish that You Tube would go ahead and let us change our user names to the same as our Profile name. Yes, new users get that option, but us "Invited" G-Mailers did not get that option once Google bought You Tube. That is why my You Tube user name is something like architect39042 or some other such nonsense.

Picasa has some pretty cool updates, too. Again, let's roll all these things under one umbrella, Google. I want my Blogger blog and Picasa to get even more cozy than they are already.

While we are talking about Blogger, here are some brand new templates that you can peruse. Yes, FREE.

At least we can now add multiple profile photos.

On the You Tube front, THEY. BE. HIRING.

Google is also claiming that Chrome is now faster, more stable, and simpler. I find that hard to believe, but what the Hell do I know? I am a Firefox Fanboi.

Alternate directions for Google Maps on Android. But, sadly, still no "Avoid Ghetto" option.

And while you are stuck in the ghetto, you have more editing options in Docs for your phone. I have never used Docs on my phone, except to open and read, but I am certain that we shall ALL be using it.

Load time problems with Digg and Facebook plug-ins? You better correct that shit or lose readers and money, yo.

Forty-Five new social media resources from Mashable. That will probably be the last time that I link Mashable unless something really big breaks over there. I just cannot deal with their Libtard philosophy anymore. Their batshit craziness over the Wisconsin stupidity sent me packing. I deleted their feed from my Reader and "Unliked" them on FAILbook. When they quit being dumbasses, maybe I'll join back up.

By the way, eighty percent (80%) of my traffic in the past week has come through image search. Think that MEANS something? Maybe that tells you that you had better put some photos on your blogs and sites?

More to come soon. Hopefully, I'll get my router TOMORROW, Comcast!!! If y'all think that I am going to pay for a week of internet that y'all did not deliver, you be dreaming, playa.

Please take the time to comment.

Teh Google Post and Blogging Technique Stuff

This post has been in the works since Wednesday, better known around these parts as "TEH GOOGLE DAY." Since I started this post, bunches and muches of stuff has happened to open my eyes to some SEO stuff and y'all could get the monumental benefit of my knowledge.

You have to sign up for the information, though. If you have already signed up, it is all good, but I am making all the effort in the world to get more folks involved. Now, regulars here kinda think that there is no need to sign up with The Two Dogs Make Your Blog Awesome Like Glenn Reynolds Information School, but yes, it matters and I'll tell you why, too.

We'll just embarrass one of the most faithful commenters that we have, Cousin Andy. You see, Andy seems to think that his little blog is no big shakes, but I am here to tell you that it is HUGE in the scale of the interwebs.

Not to release too much of his business, but Andy's Place is currently, at this very moment, holding down the 4,754,663 spot at Alexa. Now, you'll think, "Poor Andy, he is sucking HARD!" but you would be dreadfully wrong. Granted, there are plenty of ranking ties involved there because the metrics are not exact enough to break those ties and we really do not need that, either. Andy is also holding down a PR4 at Teh Google. (By way of comparison, my business site is a big whopping ZERO.)

In case you are curious, the Blogger in Draft page that I am typing this on is ranked NUMBER SEVEN at Alexa.

There are currently 1.1 TRILLION indexed pages on the web. In case you are a "Progressive" and do not know what that means, that is 1,100,000,000,000. That means that Andy's Place is ranked in the TOP ONE PERCENT of all websites in the world. That's pretty solid if you ask me.

Yes, I realize that you are thinking, "What the Hell does this have to do with me?" Well, while we all say that we are blogging for ourselves, there is nothing that makes me feel better than a long comment thread with much discussion and that gives me a thrill. It makes me feel IMPORTANT and stuff. Same way as I feel when I flip over to check the traffic stats and see a huge surge coming from a bunch of different places.

So, go sign up. I have no idea what kind of response you shall get from the sign-up autoresponder, so if it is something weird, e-mail me. When I get a bunch of folks in place, I am going to give y'all my data from the Teh Google Traffic Studies that I have been doing to go from virtually zero traffic to around 2500 hits a day in Search Engine Traffic. And, TELL YOUR FRIENDS, TOO.

Not only that, but I am also going to give y'all the tricks to getting a HUGE number of backlinks if you are willing to do the work. I might even give y'all my spreadsheet where all you have to do is change one cell and start cutting and pasting.

Just curious, how would you like to have the NUMBER ONE blog in your area of expertise? We can do that easily, too.

Now, to the Internet BLOGSHOW!!!

In case you are wondering what won the Best Antivirus program of 2010, it is F-Secure, the suite that I have used since 2000 and Love Bug Virus. I am NOT an F-Secure affiliate and I still use their product exclusively. In the past eight years, I have only had one problem with any virus or spyware.

Firefox 4 Beta was released on last Friday. (Alexa Rank 65, HA!)

If your RSS Reader is getting chock full and you need to start smalling it up a bit, try TLDR.IT. Their service turns any page or .pdf into a summary. You can only imagine how many times I have used this to summarize SEO E-Books.

Basil has a Roku v. Apple Tee-Vee shootout. Wait, can I say "shootout" anymore without killing people and stuff?

If you are a big e-book reader, you should try the Kindle Lending Club. I have not used this service yet, but the description sounds pretty good.

I am checking out Quora right now and would like to know what y'all think about it. As I stated above, my business site is kicking back a cool ZERO in PR and I am trying anything to bring that up, now. The problem with my business site is that I set it up as a static page and now I do not want to have to jack it around and change it, but since there is NO content, I am afraid that I am going to have to do just that.

If you are a smartphone user, then you probably figured out how to use Teh Google Goggles, but did you know that all of your searches and stuff can be accessed by going to http://www.google.com/goggles/history? Well, now you do.

The Link Medic has a review of Klout. Using this service is certainly in my future.

With the SIXTH! birthday of this blog barreling down upon us, I wondered if longevity mattered and SEOmoz actually answered my question on White Board Friday. Short answer, NOPE.

If you are a Teh Google Enterprise user, good news. Teh Google promises ZERO DOWNTIME. That seems like a pretty good deal, huh?

Here are last week's Teh Google Apps Highlights.

G-Mail gets spell checker for search. It still cannot make a latte for me, though.

I am not sure, but I think that I have had Android 2.2.1 on my X since mid-December, but here are the Android 2.2.1 platform highlights, anyway. It appears they have addressed quite a few shortcomings recently, too.

Still MORE features of the new AdSense interface.

Oh, autogenerated content? Teh Google NO LIKEY.

I am about to embark on some testing with the Teh Google AdWords campaign-y thing driving traffic. This was mucho helpful, too.

In case you were wondering, here is Problogger's Definitive Guide to improving Advertisement Clickthrough.

AdWords, Keywords, Go Mobile, dang, this is getting complicated!

And monetize your exit pages, YOU!

And danged if the Teh Google didn't go and change the AdWord urls right when I was getting started, too!

Download the new AdWords Editor, here.

Teh Google Engage launches to help small businesses. If you are a web guy or IT guy, you need to sign up for this stuff. Remember, Teh Google owns the world.

Coming soon to Teh Google Tasks near you.

Check out all the new stuff at Picasa.

A Problogger's top five favorite Teh Google Analytics happies.

If you have not signed up and started using Hotpot, why are you ruining the world? You know that the Phonebook is useless these days. Start helping out.

Integrated Apps to help with tax season with Teh Google Enterprise. Dang, there is a bunch of stuff there!

I am going to have another post this week with Teh Google stuff and some Wordpress stuff, too. Hell, I might even mention stuff going on with RIM and others. Keep coming back, y'all.

Oh, and you need to get on my list, too. Here is my "p0wning the webbynets blog"s to give you an idea of what is coming. There is a sign-up form there, too.

Please take the time to comment.

P0wning the Innerwebs - A Teh Google Tutorial

Obviously, the folks at Teh Google took the week off preceding Christmas, then they had to double up this past week. That is always a good thing for me, because I like reading their stuff.

I likes dee internut, bunches and muches. But dude, the past few posts, it is like I am writing War and Freaking Peace. Sorry, I promise I am going to tighten these up a bit AND soon.

HUGE news for You Tube today is that new Speaker of the House John Boehner, immediately upon being sworn in, started releasing stuff on You Tube. Teh Google has nothing but good stuff to say about that. Funny, we had four years of the criminal Democrat Party running the House like a Chicago gangland mafia, now the day that the Republicans take over again, TRANSPARENCY!!!

No more Democrat Fight Club. Of course, their Fight Club would be nothing but a bunch of limp-wristed slap fighting.

On my affiliates blog, I have some pretty good traffic tips this week, with a link to some really good PR building software. If you have not signed up for my e-mailings, you should do it over there. I am still working on the danged lightbox sign-up thingy. You can just hit the "X" at the top to close it.

Here is a quick traffic generating post for y'all, too. If you are like me, you blog for the conversation. Conversations are hard to have by yourself, you know?

When we went live over on the other blog, I started earnestly looking for How To sites. Oddly, I have never really done that. If you have a Blogger blog, here are some new templates from The Link Medic. There are quite a few really good technology sites on the web dealing with blogging. I think that you'll find this resource invaluable if you want to build your blog to bigger and better stuff.

Teh Google releases their top posts on their own blogs for 2010. I wonder how difficult it is to find your top posts if you are Teh Google and you have all the technology in the world?

Copyblogger has their Best of 2010.

Daily Blog Tips has their Best of 2010.

Ever since FAILbook a-sploded, everyone is keeping an eye out for the next HUGE thing. Mashable posts their Top Ten to watch in 2011. Mashable also had a post a while back on how to market your small business with ZERO MONEY. That is exactly what we want for our personal blogs, huh?

SEOmoz has Five SEO Tactics to Explore in 2011.

You know what is really stunning to me? Looking around to see the major payers that were HUGE two years ago that are not around anymore. Here are the Web 2.0 Awards 2008 Winners from SEOmoz. The Social Media mainstays numbers one and two kinda swapped places, plus number three Bebo will let you sign in with a FAILbook log in now.

But, on the Social News - The Big Guys division, del.icio.us was number one in 2008 and today Yahoo is debating whether or not to shut it down. This could be devastating to the information loops that have developed on del.icio.us. From what I read, no where on Earth can we find a better search wheel tool. Better get those links off of the service soon, here's how.

In case you were wondering, yes Teh Google did give out some Christmas presents. Downloadable custom web analytics reports. You wanna know what your site is doing and why? Here ya go.

Google Operating System has their Teh Google predictions for 2011. If Teh Google does half of this stuff, they might make a bunch of money. Oh...wait...

Here is a Buzz debate on the future of Picasa this year. And also the first PLUS argument that I have seen for Internet Explorer in quite some time.

Weird that someone is hawking IE when Chrome just got Voice Search, huh?

Teh Google Docs Viewer just added spreadsheets. Good move.

Teh Google Mobile has a sneak peak at Honeycomb, Android 3.0. Personally, I really have no use for a slate/tablet/chick magnet. I like my laptop with a Droid X just fine, thanks.

Google Operating System has some shots of Honeycomb in action. Okay, maybe my above comment was a tad too hasty, might have to walk that one back a bit.

Did y'all know that President Obama might have done something to crush the online marketing industry and we did not even hear about it? Click through Jeremy's link to the Joe Lilly article. Dude, I might be shutting down my business if we do not hurry up and get this buffoon out of the White House, soon. Can anyone point to anything the President has done that was NOT idiotic?

Get a fresh start this year with AdSense. Folks, even if you do not want to attempt to make a danged living with your website, the ads actually help those folks that DO. And you can check your earnings right from Firefox, too.

Here are the stats on folks buying digital products, by the way.

Why did I say that YOU putting AdSense on your site helping others? There are numerous reasons for doing it, but the main one is Capitalism. When you add those Leaderboards and ad blocks to your site, you are making a statement that I believe in to the utmost.

PROFIT IS GOOD.

What it all boils down to is that we enjoy our little online family and the interaction that we have daily. If we notice those ads on our friends sites, we can take those few seconds to drop a few coins into their coffers by checking out the offers. It is not unlike window shopping with our buddies.

And now the fun part. We want MORE buddies, right? That means traffic, y'all.

We can apply the very same tactics to grab traffic as PepsiCo and BP, even though we are simply placing our lives on the webbynets. The very same methods that they use are the ones that we can use to get more buddies.

We have to BRAND our stuff. point in case, y'all come here to read my rants on how stupid Democrats are and what the Four Letter is NOT doing to keep me from the College Gameday top slot. i try to rank on Teh Google for certain keywords that will increase my traffic and grow the fambly. I use Teh Google Analytics to find out where those folks come from when they get here and to know where they go to when they leave. Teh Google Analytics links to a post on advanced Analytics Visitor Segments that tells us more than we can possibly know about the folks that came to our place.

Plus, we can use our social media profiles to drive even more people to our blogs. Here is a list of the TOP 101 Social Media Sites. Didn't know there were 101 social media sites in the world, didja?

There is another way to grab more traffic, too. Entireweb Search Engine.

I have been hitting and missing for the past six months on hooking up every single one of these start-ups. How's my traffic? 505,241 pages views right this minute, since July 4th 2010. Did my content change at all from before then? Not that I can tell other than throwing the NUDE posts in and starting the Teh Google stuff. Minor changes = explosion in traffic. Have I changed at all? Lord, I hope not just because traffic went crazy.

Anyhoo, I changed the look of the blog, cleaned things up a bit, made it MO' pretty and worked on the branding somewhat. I am still going to fix the pages menu at the top and add a Favicon to the headers. How about some ideas on the LOOK of the Favicon?

Next, I am going to work through these 125 tips for building a smoking brand! Does anyone object to more "Your MoM" branding? Do those jokes get old? Not for me, let me roll over and ask Your MoM. SEE?!?!?!?!

By the way, y'all, if y'all have any questions on stuff like these links, hit me up in the e-mail, I'll see if I can find an answer for y'all.

And HAPPY TRAFFIC.

Please take the time to comment.

Teh Google Updates and 'Round the InnerTubes

It's that time of the week and there has been muches and bunches of stuff that has happened since we last spoke. It seems that it is becoming increasingly difficult to keep up with all the stuff that Teh Google is rolling out, too. They must have a bunch of stuff in the works and unlimited Benjamins with which to do the rolling out.

Let's get started!

The first thing that I wanted to pass along is the new social media browser that hit the sKreets this past week. I received an invitation to RockMelt and was about to give it a whirl when I saw a post from the most renown technical blogger I know. Basil is trying out RockMelt and will post about it soon. If Basil is not on your reader, you are living in Muslim Times. Enjoy your ignorance.

Technorati released the State of the Blogosphere 2010 this past week. We are NOT number one on the web, either. SHOCKA!!! We do, however, possess an authoritAY of 507 and a rank of 3807. (What the Hell does that mean exactly?)

As long as we are not totally on Teh Google, why not check out some Firefox add-ons to enhance TEH GOOGLE!!! Some of these skins are tres cool, too. Technology is so very KEEN. (What the Hell does that mean exactly, too?)

Next up, if you are a HUGE online business magnet like me, then you have certainly done your homework on Teh Google Local. You know that the phonebook is utterly dead and you know that if you are looking for something, you just go to Teh Google. There is a new Teh Google ratings portal called Hotpot that they are pushing. Go sign up and help the cause. Who knows, if we all start using it, and never use the phonebook, we might save some trees and they can suck up all that CO^2 that is causing man-made global warming. Plus, if we end man-made global warming, there will be no reason to have "Progressives" anymore. You did not know that it was the phonebook's fault for that, didja?

Teh Google Website Optimizer has come in handy these past few weeks as we ramp up traffic to ridiculous levels. You should optimize your site, too. For some reason, that sounds kinda filthy when I just typed it.

Here are some keyboards shortcuts to help out with Teh Google Instant. Search is getting awesomatic again!

Well, everywhere other than at Ask.com.

But, at the same time, you get a new feature, you lose a few features. I think that is a feature bug. Get it? A feature bug, I am belly laughing right now.

G-Mail's homepage has gotten an upgrade of sorts. Since I rarely see the log-in screen because I never get off the interblarqs, that kinda doesn't apply to me.

AdSense has got a new interface as well. In Teh Google's e-mail to us POWAH USERS today, they said, "Last week we began rolling out the new AdSense interface in beta to all of our publishers, and wanted to let you know that it has been enabled for your account. Inspired by direct feedback from you, our publishers, the new interface includes features designed to help you make more money with AdSense by giving you more actionable performance data, offering you more control over the ads that appear on your sites, and helping you manage your account more efficiently. The new interface makes it easy to quickly see your earnings and payment information, find relevant features, and make changes to your account." In related news, I made ZERO dollars today on AdSense. Thanks, y'all. Christmas is going to be awesome for all the needy children I sponsor. I'll tell them that y'all said that they were fat and didn't need any more FOOD for Christmas. Last year, Little Timmy cried when I gave him a loaf of bread and a hunk of Velveeta.

At least Teh Google AdSense now has a Polack blog, though. Insert your own "At least the Polacks HAVE a computer, unlike those Religion of Peacers" humor here.

By the way, Teh Google Boost, the local ad platform is rolling out to new United States cities. Sadly, Mayonnaise Farm, Kentucky, where I am right now, did NOT make the cut of new rolling out cities.

In You Tube news, they keep upgrading the Chrome stuff for the service. This week is no exception. How about Turn Off the Lights and Feeds?

Or enhanced You Tube Topics Search?

Also at You Tube, Howcast is looking for a vlogger. You know that position is flatout meant for you, too. You look guh-rate on camera, you He/She Devil, you. Your hair be kicking, that looks awesome!

Speaking of films and videos and how much you need to be in them, Picasa now hosts HD video right next to your photos that are the best that I have ever seen. When you were through with modeling school did you get an advanced degree in photography? Your photos are amazing. REALLY.

Here are some Teh Google Doc RULER tips. Personally I think that rulers are the sexiest thing on any program. Have you ever seen them in Paint.Net? Man, they are almost pr0n!!!

Docs auto-corrections, LaTeX in equations, and images in cells. Oh, you are still using MS Office? Rube.

More stuff at the Apps Marketplace. Ming.ly looks like what I need to manage my stuff. If y'all had been clicking on the damned AdSense, I would be using that right this minute. Thanks...

Teh Google Search App for Windows phones. I am glad to see yet another phone OS and the requisite hardware that is better than an iPhone.

Enhancements for Teh Google News for smartphones. This includes the iPhone, so it is not only for smartphones, but for borderline retarded phones, too.

Speaking of phones that are of no use for normal people, the iPhone App Store (remove your shoes and your ball cap please, you are fucking up our Feng shui) has finally been dragged kicking and screaming into the year 2005 with the addition of a Teh Google Voice App. Who knows, with this addition to the iPhone capability, actual phone calls that are not immediately dropped might be on the horizon by 2013. We'll see.

Oh! Lookit this Big Ass laptop!!!

Last, but certainly not least, if you are finally getting ready to launch your new website or blog, you know the one that is going to be the best site for your photos that are amazing and your videos that are top notch, here are The Eighteen Steps that you need to follow. Add SEOmoz to your reader, too, or at least check out Whiteboard Friday on...um...Friday. You'll learn buttloads of new techie stuff.

I'm number two for "Kate Middleton Nude." Yes, on these ridiculous search strings, I am still 100% for first page rankings in less than three hours. Now, to figure out how to monetize the hot chicks posts. Maybe we can figure out a way to MARRY your awesome video posts to NUDE hot chicks?

If you are using an iPhone, buy a Kindle.

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Daily Links and an Update!

I know that y'all are all sitting on the edge of y'all's seats wondering why I did not post yesterday. It is because I had too many posts in my THREE feed readers. Seriously, I just did not have the danged time.

You see, unlike most other people on the planet, I obviously read blogs for a living. No, it doesn't pay much, but judging by what all I read, it is steady work.

All that said, I have had to make a couple of adjustments in my reading and that means that I am not going to maintain my stellar reading percentage. I have embarked on a new business venture that is eating up much of my time.

If you check out my business blog, I have not posted there in over a month. That has to change, money is actually getting somewhat tight in Dogsland and I have to up the income level to the past GINORMOUS level. (While you are checking my business blog out, why don't you go ahead and join the mailing list? Don't worry, I ain't no spammer, yo.)

I also have upped the output on the Paul Mitchell Design Tumblr site to attempt to establish more business ties and so far the response has been marginal. If'n you like you some unique buildings, you should add that one to YOUR reader. If you like the photo, simply click the image and it shall take you to the article about said building. If'n you don't like the building, DON'T CLICK THE PHOTO!!!

I have started a business account on Teh Twitter, you should add that, too. Not only that, but I now have a "LIKE" page on the FAILbook. Aw, what the Hell, add that, too, even though it is mainly just the Tumblr feed right now. Recall, I said earlier in this post that I have to start jacking up the income? Yeah, I am going to start hanging out at that FAILbook page a little more regularly than not. Gotta get some leads for some worky-work, y'all.

As it stands now, I am also building an online empire that includes an affiliate blog and an actual website is soon to follow. I think that mainly I am going to push information products about architecture. YES! I am going to publish those myself. Ever since my buddy, Harrison McCampbell, published his roofing detail book, way back when, I have wanted to do something along those lines. You can check out what I have so far on that site, HERE. Well, as long as you are in the joining sites mood, you might as well subscribe to that one, too.

My whole damned day cannot be consumed with blogging about Larissa Riquelme NUDE, you know?

On to the BLOGSHOW!!!

The H-U-G-E thing that caught my eye on the multiple readers this morning was that Principal Financial Group, my former insurer, has decided to bail from the medical insurance market. At the end of October 2009, Principal declined to renew my policy. Folks, we knew this was coming from the jump. I argued against ObamaCare because I KNEW that the policies contained within would make it LITERALLY impossible to make a profit in the medical insurance business. This was just common sense.

Here is my post from January 2008, where I first broached the topic. At the time, John "I Hump MEN!" Edwards was out in front of the debacle that is the Democrat Party Presidential Primaries. Hillary was second in case you do not remember. Notice that I make the argument against federally controlled medical services on the grounds that it is just too damned expensive and is really bad ideology because it adds monumental numbers of people to the deadbeat rolls.

Less than a year ago, even before ObamaCare was even passed, the insurance companies were trying to get some cash on hand to help thwart the huge costs that they were about to take on. Read this one.

Here I point out that government-run medical services are SEXIST!!!

And finally, exactly what I predicted back in July of 2009 has begun with Principal starting the stampede. Not to limit this action to only the medical insurance field, the reason why ZERO businesses are branching out in this country is because they have no clue what stupidity the Democrats will pass next.

Oh, and you know that McDonalds fast food joint? They are going to dump their PART-TIME employees' medical insurance plan, too. Wonder how much that is going to cost the working family?

The artist formerly known as Rightwing Sparkle has even more on ObamaCare.

Did you know that since January 2007, more businesses and corporations have fled this country than at any other time in the past? Do you recognize WHY?

Look, the "Progressive" ideology is a LOSER. Even if you do not have the mental prowess to see that, just understand that no one that opposes your ideology thinks that you are EVIL because you want to "HELP PEOPLE." It is simply that we are much smarter than you could ever be and we know that your ideology is just flat-out dumb.

Not only that, but your ideology is simply flat-out unconstitutional. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that, but it does take someone with a greater than 35 IQ to see it. Seriously, Liberals, I am terribly sorry that y'all are so stupid, but do not attempt to make us intelligent folks live in your fascist environment. We won't stand for it.

And if you force our hand, we WILL stop paying the bills, move your jobs out of the country (you eight liberals that actually work), and we will use the very loopholes your Democrat leaders created to protect their wealth to keep you from getting ours, too. We are not like YOUR leaders, the John Kerrys, Bill Clintons, and the John Murthas of the world, we are simply hard-working folks that want to keep what BELONGS TO US. Stuff that WE worked to get.

Learn the value of work, the importance of goals, and the gravity of the feeling of a job well done and you too can abandon the Democrat Party. We'll welcome you to the front of the cart and you can start pulling the deadbeats along, too. Then you will have the experience of seeing both sides of the debate and you can join us in looking upon those in the Democrat Party with pity.

LINKS!!!

"Progressives" HATE HATE HATE the Constitution of the United States of America. (It's actually in the Prog Bylaws.)

The second biggest corporation on Earth is kinda financially unstable right now.

What is it with politicians from Chicago having to be lying crooks?

If you need even more evidence about the Obama Administration being bad at math, how about underestimating the Gulf oil spill by a mere 98% and change?

Just so you know, Obama HAS to lie about the deficit. He has no choice.

Not ALL Muslims are terrorists. Just the LIVING ones.

Luckily, those Muslim terrorists are visiting the Barry White House regularly, that way the Secret Service can keep an eye on them and their buddy, Barry.

Jesse Jackson Jr is a crook, too?!?!?! DAMMIT Chicago!!!

Obama's Environmental Protection Agency is getting ready to FUNemployment about one million HUMANS.

Democrat Party Chairman, Karl Marx, discusses the Party Platform.

But, if the only thing this dude has lost is HOPE, he is among the lucky.

If you owned a bunch of gold before the Democrats and the Obamessiah took office, you are especially LUCKY.

The Democrat-controlled Media is running wild trying to make Cali governator candidate, Meg Whitman, into a MONSTAH!!! I think that Democrats only attack women because they are scared to attack men. What thinks you?

House Democrats tell Michelle Obama to shut her stupid mouth and sit her two-ton wide-load ass down.

A HUGE racist calls Laura Ingraham's radio show, too. SUCH HATE!!!

Quote of the day, "The only way we'll get uneducated Americans to pick tomatoes is to stop their welfare checks."

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1&1 Free Year of Hosting

Just got an e-mail from my domain registrar and they CANNOT give away site hosting. Get you some FREE site hosting for FREE for a FREE YEAR! Or something about getting five FREE domains when you buy hosting. Dude, there must be a glut of storage these days with everyone going out of business because Barry Obama is a MORON.

5 free Domains with Select Hosting Plans. Get yours!

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