Black Panther - A Movie Review

The transformation is complete in The World of Marvel.

This movie is absolute garbage.

Black Panther is even worse than Wonder Woman.

If Avengers: Infinity War is this bad, I'm done.

If the profanity and obscene gestures in this movie were not bad enough, there is always the overt racism and social justice mantras slapping you upside the head. Seriously, these movies used to be fun, humorous, and entertaining. Now, they are simply insufferable Democrat propaganda.

Marvel, you have one more chance with me.

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Avatar - A Movie Review

Well, since I have been back in The 'Sip, I have quickly become exactly who I was before I left. Right down to the not paying a penny to watch movies. Yes, my reviews come a little later than other reviewers, but I do not have to wear clothes to my viewings!

Now, there were plenty of folks that said Avatar was the typical liberal claptrap about hating the United States and our military, anti-capitalism, and a bunch of crystal worshiping bullshit.

THEY WERE RIGHT, but only up to a point. Let's get this done, mmmmkay?

Sigourney Weaver looks just the same as she did in Ghostbusters. Albeit, she is BLUE instead of RED in this movie. Seriously, I have seen a bunch of folks with braces on their teeth and wearing all kinds of dental implements, but never have I witnessed anyone that had teeth that looked as overly orthodontured as Weaver's. How in the mortal Hell does anyone get their teeth to look that freaking FAKE?

Plus, she still doesn't have any curves. What the Hell? Aren't women supposed to put on weight in good places once they start to age? If you took her into the shower and slicked her hair back, she would look just like a ten year old BOY. Now, that I think about it, ALL of the blue people looked like that. Maybe instead of being a granola-crunching libfest, this movie is really about promoting pedophilia?

Anyhoo, the movie was the typical fantasy movie with 90% cartoon action. Now, there have been IDIOTS that said that they wanted to DIE so they could go to Pandora. Ignore the fact that Pandora was a fantasy place FROM A MOVIE. Why imagine dying to go to somewhere when you can see Pandora right here on Earth? Obviously James Cameron did a bunch of SCUBA diving in preparation to film Titanic. Pandora is the Santa Rosa Reef, folks. You don't believe me? Check it out. You might have to scroll down a bit to get past all the BLUE PHOTOS, but seriously, if you could not tell that all that stupid cartoon crap was nothing but jellyfish, maybe you should stay indoors. And humans had to wear SCUBA gear to be there? Good Lord, even those six-legged water buffalo looking animals were Hammerheads. The reason that those people want to DIE to go to Pandora instead of simply diving Santa Rosa is because to actually see that stuff HERE, they would have to go outside and exert actual physical energy. FUCK THAT!!!

Now, if you ignore the fact that Avatar was incredibly boring and stupid, maybe you could get to a critique of the computer generated stuff? Blade Runner's stuff was more interesting and I was not a HUGE fan of Blade Runner. In case you were wondering, Blade Runner came out in 1982, so the computer generated stuff of Avatar, 2009, did not even stack up to that.

So, let's recap the concept, the players, the background, and the technology. You go SCUBA diving, you like the pretty colors, and you want to film a fantasy. You get a bunch of no-names and has-beens to star in your picture so you do not have to pay them anything so you will make an ass-load of cash, you imagine a culture of hillbilly rubes that worship Mother Gaia, and you get a bunch of basement dwelling "Progressive" cretins, who jack off to anime all day long, that you can browbeat on your plantation to put the movie together. That about wraps that whole thing up.

And weird, you pretty much make fun of everyone, ("Progressives," Conservatives, and retarded savages) and I do mean everyone on Earth in the process while making boatloads of dust, too. WIN and WIN!

Now, the plot/story/indoctrination.

Dumb as dirt young man somehow gets crippled. Brother is killed getting robbed. Moron cripple takes smart brother's place in some kind of weird "science" thingy at a money-making operation. Now, the twist. Cripple moron sees that making money is bad and living in trees is awesome. Sounds like Bezerkley, huh?

The only way that someone can grasp the liberal claptrap of drum circles and Kumbaya is to be dumb as dirt. Please keep in mind that Kumbaya is allegedly based on an African spiritual, but that has never been proven. And we all know that Africa is the mostest awesomest place that has all of the things that "Progressives" want. No electricity, rampant starvation, AIDS all over the place, and slaughter. But, the thing Cameron attempts to do with the whole worship the planet thingy contradicts itself so many times as to render the person of minimally average intelligence so confused that he/she/ambiguous other just surrenders and accepts the basic premise. That is cool, THIS IS A MOVIE.

The Blue Folks live in trees, participate in drum circles, do not have any technology, ride on pterodactyls, worship jellyfish, yet STILL Cameron wants you to think that they are more advanced than someone that understands electricity? What "Progressives" fail to even comprehend is that the more advanced a culture or civilization becomes, the MORE humane that culture becomes. An example? ANY THIRD WORLD COUNTRY v. the United States. Ours is a much more advanced culture and we keep those dung-hut-dwelling rubes ALIVE. Another example is that Afghanistan devolved into tribal warlord slaughter even though parts of the country had running water.

Why would anyone make the leap of stupidity to even imagine that the blue people would be anything other than slaughtering savages? OH! That's right, because they believe that the American Indians were not slaughtering savages, thanks to Howard Zinn and countless other useful idiots. I think that is why some folks say that Avatar is Dances with Wolves in space.

No, Avatar is Scooby Doo with killing with jellyfish and dinosaurs.

All that said, Avatar was not unwatchable. Granted, most movies are made for stupid people, by stupid people, with stupid people. This movie entertains the stupid people's target audience, other stupid people, while employing other stupid people. So, if you want to sit down, blow a couple of hours watching stupid cartoon jellyfish and dinosaurs, Avatar will be right up your alley.

And if you go to the library, you can borrow the movie for free and not give Cameron any more money, from what this movie teaches, that is what he wants, anyway.

Final conclusion: Movie is gay and not funny.

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Slumdog Millionaire - A Movie Review

Well, I heard so much about this movie that when it happened to catch my eye at the library yesterday, I grabbed it. Coupled with the TEN! Academy Award nominations and eight wins, I thought that it would rival any of my favorites.

It was a freaking romantic comedy, y'all. Yes, it was watchable, but it was the kind of movie that you would expect Julia Roberts as the female lead. This was the BEST picture in 2009? Sorry, but I just do not remember, did 2009 really, really suck for movies? Let's see.

(By the way, Freida Pinto was the kinda lead female and she is hot. Freida Pinto NUDE!!!)

OH YEAH. Other Best Picture nominees were Milk, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, and The Reader. I have seen NONE of these, but they cannot be worse than Slumdog, huh? 2009 was also the year of The Dark Knight, which was awful, and Hellboy II. Dammit, they made another Hellboy? Wasn't the first Hellboy bad enough?

Oh, wait, the 2009 Oscar season was also the year of Ironman!!! So, I have now seen a total of three of the movies nominated by the Academy for awards that year. Obviously, Ironman was the best of the three and was pretty damned boring.

If you want to burn a couple of hours watching a movie that is not Southland Tales bad, Slumdog is doable.

Make no mistake, the ONLY reason that Slumdog Millionaire won Best Picture is because at least four times in the movie, it is pointed out that the main male character is MUSLIM.

That makes at least fourteen years in a row where being the nominees for Academy Awards means NOTHING. I guess that I'll get a movie from 2010 next time. The Hurt Locker won Best Picture, any comments on that?

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RiffTrax MST3K - Lord of the Rings

I cannot wait to see this. I used to love watching these shows.

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Steampunk - A Promotion?

I saw a blogpost today about steampunk and I made the observation that it would never take off at all because most people are stupid.

There was a reference in the article about how steampunk was a growing phenomenon, too. There is no hope of that no matter how cool you think that it is.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was a (more or less) steampunk movie, starring Sean Connery and it flopped bigtime.

Despite the fact that it was not a big hit, it was a damned good movie.

Watchman was also a borderline steampunk movie and it did not do so hot, either, but it did do better than League even though it was not as good.

Tell me what you think?

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Everything I Needed to Know, I Learned from Star Wars

Since I have a little buddy that is a huge fan of Star Wars, I decided to watch the whole franchise in order. Because I, II, and III were all released since the late 1990s, I had not seen any of them. I am not a huge science fiction fan. This is also why I have not seen An Inconvenient Truth, either.

HOLY SHIT, THEY SUCKED!!!

But, there is one glaring difference in the first three and the last three. If you have seen all of them, maybe I can let you in on the HUGE differences that I witnessed.

The first three movies released (IV, V, and VI) were about a personal responsibility and a connection between an individual and the "force," that mysterious power that the characters called an ancient "religion." There was a definitive personal difference between right and wrong. "Luke, only YOU can decide what is the right thing for you to do."

Yet oddly enough, the first three did not seem preachy at all to me.

The second batch of three movies (I, II, III) were about worshiping the GOVERNMENT and picking a side of political philosophy on which to fall. "I heard they even tried to change the law to let you stay in office past your second term....."

Good Lord, these three movies clouted me over the head repeatedly with some kind of ambiguous morality tied directly to the wonderful, collectivist Senate, but concentrating on the few corrupt Senators and the overwhelmingly evil "trade commission." The Senators that were not corrupt in these movies were the Hopey-Changy Senators that were all up in arms for Whirled Peas.

What the Hell happened to George Lucas in the sixteen years between the first three and the fourth movie? He got involved in PUBLIC EDUCATION lobbying.

That figures. Chew on that for a while. Liberalism destroys everything that it touches and that even includes Star Wars.

I also received an e-mail this morning from a blogger friend asking why folks were beating up on Scott Brown. I immediately responded with my first thoughts as I am always wont to do. I state what is on my mind and then delve a little deeper afterward.

Yes, that has gotten me into trouble for my whole damn life, too, but it is simply the way that I am. If you ask me my opinion on something, I am going to give it to you if I have any knowledge at all on the topic. I like to call this, "intellectual honesty."

Then I read a post from Patrick that made me think a little harder on the Scott Brown question.

Patrick states that conservatism starts with fiscal sanity and I think that is a huge part of the dealio, but not the main one for me.

Individuality is where the philosophy starts for me. "Luke, only YOU can decide what is the right thing for you to do." I think that a "conservative" is someone that places the most importance on FREEDOM. With freedom comes individual responsibility. I kinda think that is why the Founders and Framers set out to create a nation of "laws, not men."

Since we have obviously jettisoned the original founding principles of our country, even before I was born, I have never been able to enjoy exactly what freedom entails. I am certainly not bitching about it, but I fail to understand the slave mentality that is forever ingrained in the Democrat Party.

If you are black and a Democrat, you should hang your head in utter shame. You are a traitor to your race, all the people that literally fought and died for your ancestor's freedom from slavery, and an enemy to everyone that loves freedom.

Not to mention, if you are black and a Democrat, you are a member of the very party that is the lynching party, that killed your grandparents, and kept your race from voting at every turn. Oddly enough, to this day, the Democrat Party is STILL the only party to consider race as the MOST important thing. Why else would they scream racism whenever someone points out that the president is an idiot? Even though Barry Obama is HALF-WHITE and has always lived with his WHITE FAMILY, he looks more black than the average Joe.

If you are white and a Democrat, you are a racist, a looter, and an utter enemy to freedom and everything upon which this country was founded.

In other words, if you are of any race and are a Democrat, you are a traitor to the very basic founding principles of this, the greatest country in the history of the world.

There is one problem that I have with those that consider themselves to be "conservative." It is the fact that in order to adhere to what I see as conservative principles, you must put individual responsibility above all else. In order to do that, you have to allow Luke to make his own decision between right and wrong.

UNTIL IT AFFECTS OTHERS. Then, as a conservative, you must stand up to fight the oppression of government. When Luke decides that everyone MUST go to church on Sunday, that is wrong. When Luke decides that everyone must pay taxes so others can sit on their ass all day and smoke dope, that is wrong.

Since Republicans are more conservative than even the most "conservative" Democrat, of which there might be ONE, then as individuals, we must support the party that most closely follows the founding philosophy of "laws not men."

No, not all Republicans are going to be rugged individualists, but they are certainly going to be better than ANYONE in the Democrat Party. Beyond any doubt.

And when/if the Republicans do reclaim our federal government, we must make damn sure that they do not cave to the lobbying of so-called conservative groups and try to take away even more of our rapidly dwindling freedoms.

There is NO HOPE for the Democrat Party, we must make sure to do everything in our power to ABOLISH the party of slavery, once and for all.

RACISM IS WRONG, therefore, being a Democrat is WRONG.

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Movies I Watched Last Night (UPDATED!!!)

Since NO ONE reads blogs on the weekends, I try to publish my most important posts on Saturday. This one is NO exception.

A few weeks/months/years ago, MUD wrote a post about seeing the movie Gran Torino. (I know that I read about this movie in one of Denny's posts and went back to try to find it,too. No luck, even after searching from January 2009 to present.) Since reading his post, I have wanted to see the movie and rented it yesterday along with a few others.

Gran Torino was a very, very good movie. One of the bizarre things that I read about in the typical movie reviews of Gran Torino was that Clint Eastwood played a bitter, old man that was the epitome of a racist. Sorry, I saw zero evidence of that and gleaned the EXACT OPPOSITE from the movie. Strange how some folks are a bunch of panty-wearing sissies that miss the overwhelmingly OVERT philosophies even when they are SPOON-FED the truth. Seriously, UP is DOWN, RIGHT is WRONG, and IDIOTIC is INTELLIGENT these days in the Orwellian United States of America. However, in Gran Torino, RIGHT is RIGHT. A must see.

Next up, Taken. Even though Liam Neesen is utterly unconvincing in the role of a badass, the movie was STILL good. Again, this movie has the underlying RIGHT is RIGHT theme and it is hammered home over and over. This one is very watchable and keeps you interested. A could stand to see.

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. I have NO FRIGGIN' CLUE why I continue to rent these Underworld movies. They are friggin' terrible. WAIT! I am lying, I rent these damn suckass movies because Kate Beckinsale is FIYAH! And she wasn't even IN this damn movie except for ten WET seconds at the very end, I just assumed she was! As usual, a startling record of ZERO for THREE, this MOVIE BLEW GOATS. If you have a life length debt that is OVER about two hours, watch this movie, there is two hours wasted that you shall never get back. Kate, call me, you owe me five dollars and I want to BARTER a dealio.

(In case you are unclear of the meaning of that last line, Mr. Movie Reviewer Person, I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH KATE BECKINSALE and am willing to pay at least five dollars for that.)

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UPDATE: Paul Blart-Mall Cop was not as bad as I anticipated. Even though I never laughed NOT ONE TIME during the movie, it was merely terrible. My apologies for assuming that it would be as bad as Queen of the Damned. Sometimes I am wrong in my assumptions.

The Dark Knight - The Two Dogs Way!

Hideous waste of time. Even Val Kilmer was a better Batman. Holy Lord, this movie sucked to epic proportions. Anyone that even remotely enjoyed this movie should be avoided at all costs, they suffer from severe brain damage and are dangerous to themselves and to everyone that is around them. The Dark Knight is no Southland Tales, but it is tuuurrrrrible.

Christian Bale is the worst Batman ever in the history of cinema AND television. His performance is actually criminal in thirty-seven countries and anywhere there exist people with taste and intelligence.

Heath Ledger turned in a surprisingly uninspired performance as somebody that is utterly forgettable. Seriously, I do not even remember the part that he even played in this movie. Seems like it was a gay sheepherder, but really do not quote me on that, I could certainly be wrong. I am positive, however, that there will be people that claim his was a great performance. I like to call those people "morons" or "fools."

And to go from Tommy Lee Jones, who is an absolute moron, but a pretty good actor, to Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent, is a travesty. You probably will recall that Eckhart was in Any Given Sunday. You don't remember? Probably because this guy has never had a single role in any movie other than "Man #6 at bus stop while the bus goes careening by" in Speed. In a sane world, that would have been his defining moment.

What y'all did to Gary Oldman is criminal. I think Oldman is very talented and enjoy watching him. Y'all turned him into Abe Fucking Vigoda, who is none of the above.

Even Michael Caine is horrible in this movie and plays an utterly useless part in Alfred. Remember the first three Batman movies? Michael Gough, who played Alfred, actually needed to be in the movie for plot cohesion. Michael Caine's part offered NOTHING and his performance certainly lived up to the need for his part.

Oh, and as far as the cinematography is concerned, to director Christopher Nolan I offer this humble critique: "Sir, there is a little thing called 'light' that is required to capture images on film. As a director, picture quality is important. Try LIGHTING, it helps muches to get a good picture. Just because the movie is titled as it is, it is not necessary to provide two solid hours of a screen so dark that your viewers cannot discern what the Hell is happening. Try parlor bingo as a career instead, making movies is NOT your forte. You suck as bad, if not worse, than tOSU."

Seriously, this movie did not even need to be shot in color. The contrast was so bad and the color was so bleached out, there was no need at all to even use color. The Blair Witch Project was higher movie quality and it looked like it was filmed by a jonesing heroin junkie from a moving roller coaster.

In other words, Academy Awards for everyone. Remember, they gave one to Halle Berry for Monster's Ball. That movie made watching Halle Berry get nailed the most boring sex scene that I have ever had the misfortune to watch. But, it did launch that cottage industry of Viagra.

But, it gets even worse.

There will be another movie made with the same terrible cast and crew. Plus. Eddie. Murphy. The fact that The Riddler has already been in the 1995 Batman Forever movie and was played by Jim Carrey to the level of nausea makes no difference to people that cannot remember yesterday. Oddly enough, that was the Val Kilmer Batman movie and it is only 10 x 76 to the 49th power better than The Dark Knight. And it sucked.

Futhermore, the soon to be announced new Batman movie will also star a relatively unknown, untalented hack named Shia LeBouf. (Shown here practicing for his role of Robin.)

Long story short, quit watching Batman movies. They are going to be really bad and Hollywood is going to keep making them if you keep paying to see them.

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Can't Sleep Movie Watching - Afghan Knights (UPDATED!!)

Tagline: You can't fight what's in these mountains.

I am so excited. I am about to watch a movie that has the possibility of being even worse than Southland Tales.

Here's a review:

Out of every single movie I have ever seen so far, this is definitely in my "top 5 worst movies category". After reading some of the previous reviews, I'm somewhat confused. Why do you feel the need to give a movie 10 stars just to "balance things out"? That's not the point of a review. The point of a review is to be truthful and evaluate the overall film, not to be biased because you were involved in it. With that said. the fact that this person worked on the movie doesn't surprise me at all.

The acting? Horrible. Dialogue? Horrible. Storyline? ... You get the idea. I would only recommend this to people lacking taste in movies. It is honestly that bad. The only reason why I didn't feel cheated was because I watched this at my friends house. Luckily, I didn't pay for the rental, but I still lost 90 minutes of my life on this film. He's in the military, and even he thought this movie was awful. If there are movies made in Hell, this one's it.

Here's another with the subject line, "The WORST EVER MADE MOVIE Don't Waste your time watching it":

Do not get fooled by the title of this movie. If you want to honestly waste a good 90 mins of your life, then watch this. Otherwise, be warned it is one of the worst ever made movies of all times. The story does not make any sense and so is the actors. The native language spoken in the movie is Persian(Iranian Language) not Dari(Afghan Language) and this is supposed to be a movie about Afghanistan.......lol.

I'll let you know the true skinny in an UPDATE.

UPDATE: This movie is not even in the Top 50 worst of all time. It was not even a military movie. It was just plain stupid, on the par with the Eddie Murphy "Fat Family" movies. You cannot make a good movie when you only spend three hundred dollars making it, you know. Skip it, it is just a waste of time and is not BAD like I am accustomed to. If you are a bad movie fan, rent Southland Tales or Queen of the Damned, those two will not disappoint.

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I Wanna Write Sumpin' That makes No Sense

I got nothing. I haven't had anything for two days, either. The main thing that has been occupying my mind is the stupidity of the bailout, but still I got nothing.

The obvious that I need to point out is that the Dow closed over 10,000 for the first time ever in 1999. I am not an economist, nor am I involved in any way with the investment houses, but I am a baseball fan and we like stats.

Here is a historical graph of the Dow-Jones Industrial Average for its entire existence. Notice anything really strange? Can you explain that strangeness to me?

Let me try to explain it to you. It doesn't mean a damn thing. When you hear all this crap about largest drop in the history of the Dow, understand that the Dow first went over 1000 points in 1970. The Dow Index was first published in 1896, it opened at 40.94. It took seventy-six years to reach a level twenty-four times its starting point. Since that is a historical fact showing past performance, you can safely assume, running those numbers, that the Dow increases around thirty-two percent a year, right? Well, no, you have to look at the spurts of growth that surround new technology and innovation. But, let's just look at that math that we have been given and see if we come up with the numbers that we have today.

I am going to simplify the math, because I am doing this in my head, that good with you? Thirty-two percent of one thousand is three hundred twenty. If we add three hundred twenty to the Dow one thousand figure over the course of thirty eight years from 1970, we wind up with a figure of 13,160. Today, the Dow closed at 10831.07. How much is the market off of the norm that we determined? In my head, remember? So, if I am wrong in my maff, lemme know.

My maff tells me that the Dow is down from the historical growth at about eighteen percent. Now, again, what does this tell me? Not a damn thing.

Here's my problem with running these numbers. They compare apples to five. Points to be made.

The first wages in the United States that I can find with a thirty second search on Google, is in 1938 when the minimum wage law was introduced. It was twenty-five cents an hour. Today, the minimum wage is six dollars and fifty-five cents an hour. In other words, the lowest paid employee's wages have increased twenty-six times in seventy years. Average wages have gone up, too, but that would require another Google search, and that is too much trouble. So wages are increasing at a rate greater than the market?

Damn, I have no clue. But doesn't there seem to be a need for some kind of correlation? Oh, Hell who cares? I certainly don't.

You know, there is also a huge INVESTIGATION going on, but you know what is funny about it? They are only investigating from 2007 to the present. Wonder why, when the crooks were already working for Obama in 2007?

Call and e-mail your Congressmoron and tell them, "NO BAILOUT FOR MORONS!"

Oh, and that minimum wage laws are stupid and contrary to economic success, plus increase illegal immigration. I hate minimum wage laws.

Feh. Whatever.

The Ironman, movie? Unimpressive. (Why in Hell did I put a comma between "Ironman" and "movie?")

Anyhoo, here's a song about a car. Lyrics in the Haloscan comments.



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Movies That You Simply MUST See

So far, I think that I have reviewed a total of maybe five movies on this blog, all of them BAD, BAD, BAD except for maybe one. I think that was American Gangster. Now, I shall let you know of three that are very good, with good casts, and really interesting stories. These are absolutely must see movies. But, please remember, they are not for children and they are probably best viewed alone or with someone special, never in a crowd of folks, except as noted.

Disclaimer: My three favorite movies ever are NOT Steven Seagal vehicles. They are in order, Legends of the Fall, The English Patient, and The Spitfire Grill. No, I am not gay, why would you think that? I just like movies that have an interesting story and bring you into it and elicit emotion.

This is my FOURTH favorite movie of all time and it might move up if I ever watch The English Patient again. Please understand, for the most part, I cannot stand Adam Sandler, but I like Don Cheadle, so this movie was a choice simply to see Cheadle practice his craft. I have been watching this guy since Hamburger Hill. I went into it with the hope that it would rate around two stars simply because Sandler was in it and that would bring the score down.

I was dead wrong.

This movie is damn powerful. The screenplay was written and the movie was directed by Mike Binder, you might remember him from his stand-up routines back when we were in high school. I guess he was kinda funny, not side-splitting, but workable.

The story centers around Sandler's character that has major melon fissures and cannot grasp reality because of the loss of his entire family in something that happened in New York a few years back. He is impressive and has changed my opinion of his talents forever. Never again will I dread seeing him in anything, he is forgiven for Big Daddy, Little Nicki, and Mr. Deeds and has a pass for life. That ought to tell you something right there. I was actually contemplating taking out a contract on this guy's life before seeing this movie.

Plus, it doesn't hurt that this movie has only pretty chicks. Jada Pinkett Smith, Liv Tyler, and Saffron Burrows all have good parts. I like hot chicks. 

Believe it or not, Donald Sutherland and Robert Klein are actually good in this movie. Yeah, I was stunned too. Sutherland hasn't been good in anything since MASH and that was in 1970. No, Gnutcase, he was NOT good in Animal House. He was irrelevant in Animal House.

The music is even good. The Who (obviously, hence the name of the movie), Pearl Jam, Jackson Browne, and Springsteen all are on the soundtrack and provide vital meat to the plot. Binder does a really good job with incorporating the tunes to the storyline. I will rent more of his stuff because of the way the movie was put together. This wasn't the first Mike Binder movie that I have seen (he did Minority Report, which was okay), and it will not be the last.

I was amazed by the entire movie. This should have won every single award imaginable, and even some new awards should have been established simply to give to this movie and cast, but since it is simply not a leftist, hate-America flick, it had no chance. Sandler got nominated for a Teen Choice Award and Binder for some bullshit something in Tokyo, wow! Just go buy this one. Hurry up, I'll wait until you get back, the other two aren't good enough for you rush right out for, but they are good enough to rent.

Well, this is another drama about the loss of a loved one. I am beginning to think that I might have issues, but I watch movies for the entertainment value and this one has a bundle.

Benicio Del Toro, the only reason for me renting this one, does a great job, but I really haven't ever seen him do a bad one. Halle Berry is not her normally vapid, moronic self in this one either. Sorry folks, Berry is attractive, but she is usually so plastic that it makes my stomach turn, in "Gothika," she was good, but in "Monster's Ball," she was unbearable. Best actress for that crap? Hey, you, The Academy, blow me! Do not ever mention the "X-Men" or I will come to your home and physically remove any movie-watching electronics that you may own. You are doing America a grave disservice by your stupidity.

Oh, that dude from the X-Files is in this one, too, but I can never remember his damn name. I never saw the X-Files ever. He is pretty good, though.

Also, if you want to see the prettiest children ever to live, they are in this movie. Your kids are okay, but damn these kids are from Greek mythology and actually have acting talent. It's a two-fer on the damn kids. Just look. Micah Berry. Alexis Llewellyn. Don't feel bad, I am sure that your kids will grow up to produce something really important, but did you look at those little angels' photos? It's simply genetics, folks. Live with it.

(Micah Berry is NOT Halle Berry's kid. Halle just gave birth to her first kid on March 16, 2008. Pray for her child because Halle Berry is absolutely dumb as a barrel of hair and proved that by saying that she would do anything that Barry Obama told her to do, including clearing the paper cups from his path. I can actually picture her right this moment carving roast beef for her two week old child and forcing that into her daughter's piehole. Hopefully, the baby's father isn't as dumb as Halle, but he IS a supermodel, so the chances of that are slim.)

Good performance all around and I could watch it a couple more times before I got tired of it. I guess that is how I really judge movies, if I could stand to watch it again, you would probably love it.

Finally, a dude movie with Ray Liotta and James Todd Smith. Smith is probably better known to most of you as LL Cool J. Liotta plays Liotta and LL Cool J plays LL Cool J. Not really, but you probably know what I mean. Mekhi Phifer is also in this one and does a pretty good job as well. Chiwetel Ejiofor was a new guy that I had never seen until American Gangster, but he is very convincing in his role as well. No, I never saw Amistad, why do you ask? And for you screaming twenty-three year old Black chicks, yes, Taye Diggs is in it, too. Oh. My. G_d!

Just so you know, I have no damn clue why Taye Diggs makes the young girls jizz their skivvies, because he is literally four feet tall.

The central chick character was played by Jolene Blalock and I had never seen her before either. She was the weak link in this movie, but after watching it, I can't come up with someone that would have been better suited for the role. She ain't bad looking neither.

On to the show. I can usually see the plotline in one of these "drama/thrillers" coming from the very first three minutes, but this one had me guessing until the very end. That alone should make you want to see this one.

There were so many twists and turns in this movie that even an absolute stinking genius like myself had a hard time keeping up and ain't that why we watch movies? And you could watch this one with anyone, but you probably wouldn't if it were just a bunch of guys. Just get The Deerhunter instead.

One more to watch: No Country for Old Men. A very watchable thing. Strange though and didn't end the way that I needed it to. Rent it anyway, that makes your four movies for the discount, you know.

One to avoid like the shower rape that is coming if you sling dope: I Am Legend. This is a terribly stupid movie and Will Smith sucks the big 'un in it. If I ever see Will Smith, I am going to fight him to get my money back for the rental. It's not Queen of the Damned bad, but it's close.

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