Sunday, March 30, 2008

Movies That You Simply MUST See

So far, I think that I have reviewed a total of maybe five movies on this blog, all of them BAD, BAD, BAD except for maybe one. I think that was American Gangster. Now, I shall let you know of three that are very good, with good casts, and really interesting stories. These are absolutely must see movies. But, please remember, they are not for children and they are probably best viewed alone or with someone special, never in a crowd of folks, except as noted.

Disclaimer: My three favorite movies ever are NOT Steven Seagal vehicles. They are in order, Legends of the Fall, The English Patient, and The Spitfire Grill. No, I am not gay, why would you think that? I just like movies that have an interesting story and bring you into it and elicit emotion.

This is my FOURTH favorite movie of all time and it might move up if I ever watch The English Patient again. Please understand, for the most part, I cannot stand Adam Sandler, but I like Don Cheadle, so this movie was a choice simply to see Cheadle practice his craft. I have been watching this guy since Hamburger Hill. I went into it with the hope that it would rate around two stars simply because Sandler was in it and that would bring the score down.

I was dead wrong.

This movie is damn powerful. The screenplay was written and the movie was directed by Mike Binder, you might remember him from his stand-up routines back when we were in high school. I guess he was kinda funny, not side-splitting, but workable.

The story centers around Sandler's character that has major melon fissures and cannot grasp reality because of the loss of his entire family in something that happened in New York a few years back. He is impressive and has changed my opinion of his talents forever. Never again will I dread seeing him in anything, he is forgiven for Big Daddy, Little Nicki, and Mr. Deeds and has a pass for life. That ought to tell you something right there. I was actually contemplating taking out a contract on this guy's life before seeing this movie.

Plus, it doesn't hurt that this movie has only pretty chicks. Jada Pinkett Smith, Liv Tyler, and Saffron Burrows all have good parts. I like hot chicks. And yes, Bean is hot.

Believe it or not, Donald Sutherland and Robert Klein are actually good in this movie. Yeah, I was stunned too. Sutherland hasn't been good in anything since MASH and that was in 1970. No, Gnutcase, he was NOT good in Animal House. He was irrelevant in Animal House.

The music is even good. The Who (obviously, hence the name of the movie), Pearl Jam, Jackson Browne, and Springsteen all are on the soundtrack and provide vital meat to the plot. Binder does a really good job with incorporating the tunes to the storyline. I will rent more of his stuff because of the way the movie was put together. This wasn't the first Mike Binder movie that I have seen (he did Minority Report, which was okay), and it will not be the last.

I was amazed by the entire movie. This should have won every single award imaginable, and even some new awards should have been established simply to give to this movie and cast, but since it is simply not a leftist, hate-America flick, it had no chance. Sandler got nominated for a Teen Choice Award and Binder for some bullshit something in Tokyo, wow! Just go buy this one. Hurry up, I'll wait until you get back, the other two aren't good enough for you rush right out for, but they are good enough to rent.

Well, this is another drama about the loss of a loved one. I am beginning to think that I might have issues, but I watch movies for the entertainment value and this one has a bundle.

Benicio Del Toro, the only reason for me renting this one, does a great job, but I really haven't ever seen him do a bad one. Halle Berry is not her normally vapid, moronic self in this one either. Sorry folks, Berry is attractive, but she is usually so plastic that it makes my stomach turn, in "Gothika," she was good, but in "Monster's Ball," she was unbearable. Best actress for that crap? Hey, you, The Academy, blow me! Do not ever mention the "X-Men" or I will come to your home and physically remove any movie-watching electronics that you may own. You are doing America a grave disservice by your stupidity.

Oh, that dude from the X-Files is in this one, too, but I can never remember his damn name. I never saw the X-Files ever. He is pretty good, though.

Also, if you want to see the prettiest children ever to live, they are in this movie. Your kids are okay, but damn these kids are from Greek mythology and actually have acting talent. It's a two-fer on the damn kids. Just look. Micah Berry. Alexis Llewellyn. Don't feel bad, I am sure that your kids will grow up to produce something really important, but did you look at those little angels' photos? It's simply genetics, folks. Live with it.

(Micah Berry is NOT Halle Berry's kid. Halle just gave birth to her first kid on March 16, 2008. Pray for her child because Halle Berry is absolutely dumb as a barrel of hair and proved that by saying that she would do anything that Barry Obama told her to do, including clearing the paper cups from his path. I can actually picture her right this moment carving roast beef for her two week old child and forcing that into her daughter's piehole. Hopefully, the baby's father isn't as dumb as Halle, but he IS a supermodel, so the chances of that are slim.)

Good performance all around and I could watch it a couple more times before I got tired of it. I guess that is how I really judge movies, if I could stand to watch it again, you would probably love it.

Finally, a dude movie with Ray Liotta and James Todd Smith. Smith is probably better known to most of you as LL Cool J. Liotta plays Liotta and LL Cool J plays LL Cool J. Not really, but you probably know what I mean. Mekhi Phifer is also in this one and does a pretty good job as well. Chiwetel Ejiofor was a new guy that I had never seen until American Gangster, but he is very convincing in his role as well. No, I never saw Amistad, why do you ask? And for you screaming twenty-three year old Black chicks, yes, Taye Diggs is in it, too. Oh. My. G_d!

Just so you know, I have no damn clue why Taye Diggs makes the young girls jizz their skivvies, because he is literally four feet tall.

The central chick character was played by Jolene Blalock and I had never seen her before either. She was the weak link in this movie, but after watching it, I can't come up with someone that would have been better suited for the role. She ain't bad looking neither.

On to the show. I can usually see the plotline in one of these "drama/thrillers" coming from the very first three minutes, but this one had me guessing until the very end. That alone should make you want to see this one.

There were so many twists and turns in this movie that even an absolute stinking genius like myself had a hard time keeping up and ain't that why we watch movies? And you could watch this one with anyone, but you probably wouldn't if it were just a bunch of guys. Just get The Deerhunter instead.

One more to watch: No Country for Old Men. A very watchable thing. Strange though and didn't end the way that I needed it to. Rent it anyway, that makes your four movies for the discount, you know.

One to avoid like the shower rape that is coming if you sling dope: I Am Legend. This is a terribly stupid movie and Will Smith sucks the big 'un in it. If I ever see Will Smith, I am going to fight him to get my money back for the rental. It's not Queen of the Damned bad, but it's close.

Please take the time to comment.


Arcticman Speaks! said...

I have to agree with you on "reign over me". My wife and I absolutely loved it. I kept wondering why this guy kept bothering his friend to get help. Adam Sandler's character seemed pretty happy to me. He had a cool place to live,lots of money,played drums in a band, liked chinese food, and he had a friend who liked hanging out with him. I kept thinking, so what's the problem? Why does everyone want to fuck with this guy's life!?

It turned out that he really did need to be pushed back into life.It was about recovery and healing for all of the family survivors. Not just him.

Although I was jealous of him at first, I realized that I identified with only the part of his life that was after the deaths. I wanted to go back to that time in my life when I was as detached as he'd become. I had to give in along with him as the movie progressed.

Lots and lots of tears at the end of this one for us!