Counting Down to the Elections

We here at this headstone of average have received yet another Blast Fax from Home Office at the "I Hate Everybody Club." Needless to say, I must follow by-laws and publish what I was told to publish, otherwise the H-U-G-E checks shall just quit rolling in.

Not only that, but it was kinda hinted that I would be having a visitor at my house pretty soon if I did not post.

So, here 'tis. These are the links that everyone needs to check out if they are still undecided about for whom to vote. I guess that if you are a Democrat, these links do not do you much good, but it is obvious that you cannot read or write. Please just sit there quietly at home on November the second because President Barry Obama is delivering your NEW and IMPROVED government funding directly to your door. The people that are not home when this money is delivered, WILL. NOT. GET. IT.

Remember, November 2, 2010. Stay at home to get your free money.

Here's the Butcher's Bill:
Travis Childers
Dina Titus
Carol Shea-Porter
Ann Kuster
Harry Teague
John Hall
Michael Arcuri
Larry Kissell
Earl Pomeroy
Steve Driehaus
Mary Jo Kilroy
Zack Space
Kathy Dahlkemper
Bryan Lentz
Patrick Murphy
Chris Carney
Paul Kanjorski
John Spratt
Stephanie Herseth Sandlin
Roy Herron
Chet Edwards
Ciro Rodriguez
Glenn Nye
Tom Perriello
Denny Heck
Mike Oliviero
Julie Lassa
Steve Kagen
Steve Raby
Ami Bera
Joe Garcia
Trent Van Haaften
Stephene Ann Moore
John Callahan
Jon Hulburd
Jon Hulburd
Stephen Pougnet
Lori Edwards
Ravi Sangisetty
Pat Miles
Tarryl Clark
Tom White
Matthew Zeller
Paula Brooks
Manan Trivedi
Brett Carter
Suzan Delbene
Colleen Hanabusa
Robert Dold
Cedric Richmond
Cedric Richmond (Hat-Tip: Moogie)
Lisa Murkowski
Barbara Boxer
Michael Bennet
Alexi Giannoulias
Robin Carnahan
Paul Hodes
Lee Fisher
Joe Sestak
Harry Reid
Scott McAdams
Kendrick Meek
Charlie Crist
Jack Conway
Patty Murray
Russ Feingold
Richard Blumenthal
Joe Manchin
Chris Coons
Ron Wyden
Kirsten Gillibrand
Mike McMahon
Scott Murphy
Bill Owens
Heath Schuler
Charlie Wilson
Betty Sutton
Kurt Schrader
Mark Critz
Lincoln Davis
Rick Boucher
Gerry Connolly
Rick Larsen
Ann Kirkpatrick
Harry Mitchell
Jerry McNerney
John Salazar
Betsy Markey
Allen Boyd
Alan Grayson
Alan Grayson
Suzanne Kosmas
Jim Marshall
Debbie Halvorson
Bill Foster
Phil Hare
Baron Hill
Leonard Boswell
Frank Kratovil
Gary McDowell
Mark Schauer
Mike Ross
Dennis Cardoza
Christopher Murphy
John Barrow
Melissa Bean
Bruce Braley
Dave Loebsack
John Yarmuth
Chellie Pingree
Tim Walz
Russ Carnahan
Rush Holt
Carolyn McCarthy
Dan Maffei
Bob Etheridge
Mike McIntyre
David Wu
Jason Altmire
Tim Holden
David Cicilline
Jim Matheson
Ron Kind
Bobby Bright
Gabrielle Giffords
Jim Costa
Loretta Sanchez
Ed Perlmutter
Jim Himes
John Carney
Ron Klein
Sanford Bishop, Jr.
Walter Minnick
Joe Donnelly
Ben Chandler
Gary Peters
Ike Skelton
John Adler
Martin Heinrich

Please take the time to comment.

WTW - Week Eight of College Gameday

Since this little footbaw blarq is the main source for everything College Gameday, we try to announce within plenty of time where those MORONS from The Four Letter are going to be. You know, so you can flee the area. We make these calls because those College Gameday dudes know about as much about college footbaw as a box of dog turds. They (the Four Letter's guys, not dog turds) can rarely be found in areas where there are good games, unless they traipse over to SEC games in the early part of the season.

All that said, the College Gameday Dumbass Bus is pulling into Columbia, Missouri for a game betwix the Sooners of Oklahoma and the Missoulas or something of Columbia University or whatever the school is called that Okies are playing. I am pretty certain that the school from Mizzou is actually in a conference, but since I know they are not in the SEC or the Big 12 South, I do not think that the Mizzourians can play for the Nobel Championship. I could be wrong on that, though, since the NCAA actually lets Boise State and Utah play on networks with real college footbaw teams. Personally, I think that those lesser schools should be forced to play on Tuesday like the PAC-10 is.

It IS all about the U.

Dude, what Homer REALLY needs is a MoM College Gameday jersey. And what Goldmember really needs is to stay the fuck indoors. And away from the Japanese tanning parlor, too.

Just so y'all know, I am Catholic and I always root for the Dame. Sometimes it can be embarrassing, however.

Did you enjoy your White Trash Wednesday?

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WTW II - Clarion Ledger and Ole Miss

The things that leap off the page at me are sometimes the most weird things that anyone can imagine. Sometimes those things that leap out at me seem to be second nature and make others appear to be ridiculously stupid. Obviously, that is ALWAYS the case when I pick up the Clarion Ledger, but you would think that college students would at least possess a marginal grasp of SOMETHING. ANYTHING.

Let's map out the lunacy that is Ole Miss. At the crux of the matter, that university is Mississippi's racist bastion to this day. Never will Ole Miss shrug off its racist label until they turn out the Democrats that attend, support, and drag down the university. Sorry, folks, you are part and parcel of the Klan. Until you throw out the Klan members, you are literally the Klan. Getting rid of Colonel Reb was NOT the first thing that you needed to do.

It was the lipstick on the pig, folks. You still have the very same corrupt racists running your university that you have always had. Granted, those same racists wear turtlenecks instead of string ties now, but they are still the same pig.

Anyhoo, Ole Miss had a little ballot thingy to determine whether to replace Colonel Reb with another mascot. The Clarion Ledger states:

The Ole Miss student body agreed, as nearly 75 percent supported a measure to include students in the search for a mascot. There were 3,366 total votes cast Tuesday, with 2,510 voting yes and 856 voting no.

Okay, thanks for admitting that over twenty-five percent (25%) of your student body is retarded.

Asks the university, "Students, do you want a voice in what the university does regarding a mascot?"

Twenty-five percent of the student body replies, while obviously sitting in the corner eating their own bodily waste, "Um, NO!"

See the rest of the article for more idiocy from the Clarion Ledger and the morons at Ole Miss.

If I may be so bold as to suggest a new mascot, you should try a VASE of PANSIES.

Please take the time to comment.

WTW - Snowday

About a week and a half ago, we had what amounts to a blizzard in Mississippi. This is how real men celebrated the days off.

(Yes, this is a friend of mine from high school.)

Please take the time to comment.

WTW - We Be Jammin'

I am going to try to get back to posting White Trash Wednesday of people and places that I actually know, because dammit, I KNOW WHITE TRASH. And white trash lurves them some moooosic.



And beer. And cigars.

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WTW - The BrittFarr Edition

THERE. IS. NO. G_D.

Just so you know, the Pro Bowl is a freaking joke. This year, no player that participates in the Super Bowl shall be involved. Enjoy, it is just like the BCS, now.

(Image stolen from The Freaking News)


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WTW - Happy Chrimmus

Sent in by The Long Haired Hippy Engineer and submitted without comment. You add the caption and laugh.

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WTW - Stuff I Own

On FAILbook the other day I made the comment that I owned a tee-shirt that read "Mustache Rides $250.00" I looked for it, but I cannot find it OR my tee-shirt that reads "Trolling for Skank," but I do own this.

This is a Richie Sambora action figure. I paid FOUR DOLLARS for this gem. (Recently, too!) Please note that he is slinging the double neck. By the way, if you are under 13 years of age, NO! You cannot play with Richie. PUNK!

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WTW - Truth in Advertising Lesson One

'Nuff said?

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WTW - Going After the Hunters

We all know that all of our collard-green-eating brethren love to kill stuff and they have to be able to get to the killing fields. Dang, I wish I had some better photos of this thang sent in by one of my Swampbilly friends deep in the bogues of Lusana.

It looks very efficient.

However, these vehicles, born of necessity, ingenuity, and Dark-Thirty parts thefts, are soon to be a thing of the past.

WOW! One hundred whole deaths since 2003. That is almost the number of folks that have died in serious washing machine accidents.

Alcohol was NOT involved in the making of this vehicle, by the way.

Here's the rest of the original group:

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WTW - Late Night Pseudo-Good Mood

[This was moved back to the top because (Dead) Tommy 5 got sand in his vagina and threw a hissy fit. Look below for newer stuff.]

I got this from Steve Rankin at Southern Crown.

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Sanders, please."

"Speaking."

"Mrs. Sanders, this is Dr. Jones at St. Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which."

"That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders.

"Normally we can, but the new health care system will only pay for these expensive tests just one time."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The folks at Obama health care recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."

Got this one from Clanium. Hats of Meat. It's MEAT!!! And it's a HAT!!!

I think that (Dead) Tommy 5's wife sent this one. "There, I fixed it!"

The Long-Haired, Rock-n-Roll, Hippie Engineer sent these in of the ULTIMATE HUNT MOBILE!!! Yes, Amite County, Mississippi. Insert obligatory "Mother of Invention" comment here. (Please also recognize that three wheeler production was ended somewhere around 1988.)







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WTW - Only in Jack-troit

The long-haired hippie rock-n-roller engineer sent me these photos. Yes, y'all know exactly where it is, too.

This is the Southbound frontage road of I-55 just North of Northside Drive. The last photo is actually at that intersection.

I have lost my will to live. This can only happen in Jack-troit.







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WTW - Time Magazine FAIL!!!

Damian G from Conservathink sent me a link this past weekend to a treasure trove of material for WTW. I was much pleased because I had seriously struggled to find the stuff to share with (Dead) Tommy 5 who lurves seeing his people on this here blarrqy-thing. (think monkey staring in the mirror)

Yesterday, Time Magazine linked the website that I was going to use for WTW today. They were unable to handle the traffic. Their server went down, crashing all hopes for a WIN this morning. PAUL FAIL!!!!

However, there are ways to access the content of the site anyway because of The Awesomeness that is The Google. Cached page. (And once you get to the bottom of the page, sometimes the "Previous" tag does work.

Enjoy, (Dead) Tommy 5, find your people!

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WTW - Hatfields and McCoys

There is violent upheaval in Alabama right now. Let's play the FEUD!

The violence began on Sunday night when a fight fueled by the families' bad blood erupted after a basketball game, and at least one shot was fired.

Alabama, FUCK.

By the way, a true hero of White Trashdom has moved on to the Great Moonpie and RC Cola party in the hereafter. Bow your head for the passing of Hall of Famer, White Trash Teddy Kennedy. Here is the White Trash eulogy by another Soon-to-Be HOF White Trasher.

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BTW - What have We Done?!?!?!

(Hat-Tip: Long-haired Hippie Engineer Guy)

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WTW - Hold My Beer

Sent in by the long-haired, guitar-playing, hippie engineer. He also DEMANDED that this be posted today.

Come on, you know this is cool and you wish that you had done it first.



Also, check back later this afternoon for the first installment of "Holy Shit, Hiring Scientists to Make Blog Posts Gets Expensive." Keep hitting that Pal Pay, y'all! Deddy's wallet done took a shellacking.

AND MORE WTW at Six Meat Buffet!

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WTW - Trans/Camaro

I am not sure if this is even funny, because it hits W-A-Y too close to home. And it is a little language-y.



But, we shall always have O'Hare, my darling.

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WTW - Independence Day!

With the coming holiday, I thought that it would be a good idea to show some flag etiquette, because we take that stuff seriously down here in the South.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!

I am trying to figure out exactly which one of the rules of flag etiquette that John McCain has violated with this Speedo. Good taste is NOT one of the few rules.

I think that I shall go with this one: The flag should never be used as a receptacle for receiving, holding, carrying, or delivering anything.

Read them and you decide.

Just so you know (and for palette cleanser) this is WRONG, too.

Please take the time to comment.

WTW - The Roundup

In lieu of actually LEAVING the house and subjecting myself to the white hot heat of ONE THOUSAND suns, I thought that it would be a good idea to rifle through the old gang's stuff and post links to stuff that I found funny in the AGO.

Enjoy.

Kid Rock does the news.

Kid Rock should not have children.

Wimmen that Kid Rock wants to NOT have chillun with.

This photo CANNOT be explained.

Britney. Nuff said?

How about some White Trash Culcha?

Here's the rest of the original group: (Four dead links, and not one WTW post.)


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WTW - A Two-FER!!!!

The long-haired hippy engineer sent me this and it must be posted. Enjoy.



Please take the time to build you one.