I just wanted to take the opportunity to apologize to my friends from TSUN. I have trash talked y'all unmercifully since I was about four years old. I picked We Suck to win the Battle for the Golden Egg by seventeen points this year. I made that call back in July, not because We Suck was so very good (because they aren't), but because TSUN was so very bad.
(BUT, WE WON RECRUITING THIS YEAR!!11!1!!!)
Last night we learned exactly how bad TSUN is. Bo Wallace, the Junior "quarterback" for TSUN, had a whopping 18.2 QBR. Seriously. TSUN's offense crossed midfield but three times, once only to the 48 yard line. The two trips to the RED ZONE netted one field goal because TSUN missed like a 26 yarder or something.
The Four Letter continually referred to TSUN's "high powered" offense this year because you have to be an insaniac to work at The Four Letter. Get this, TSUN is ranked 28th and 43rd in passing and rushing, respectively. We Suck is ranked 55th and 48th. H-U-G-E difference, huh? Last night, they combined for the yardages that each team was averaging per game. Great job.
Now, about We Suck. If I had the power, Dan Mullen would have been given his final check midway through the second quarter (of the Oklahoma State game!!!). This dude was brought to We Suck to bring the offense. HO-LEE SHEE-IT!!! We Suck has less than 3000 yards passing on the year.
Finally, I am already predicting the score from next year's match-up in Klansingtonville between TSUN and We Suck. We Suck by fourteen.
Since there is virtually no FEAR of Andy publishing Sunday Morning Quarterback™ today, I decided that I would.
In case anyone is NCAA College Footbaw illiterate, I shall explain that the Bowl Championship Series doesn't publish a Final Poll after the Bowling. Their job is done before the silly season starts. In fact, the BCS ends immediately following the World Championship Game that is held every year in Atlanta.
So, we have to crank up the Cray 36,000 and cipher all this crap ourselves to show everyone how far SUPERIOR the SEC actually is.
It is an easy thing to place Auburn at NUMBER ONE. They went undefeated in the SEC. That should be an automatic NUMBER ONE ranking across all polls. This year is equally solid by having the Heisman Winner, Cameron Newton on the Plainsmen.
After the number one, though, things are not so solid. TCU played ZERO ranked teams. They won against a Big 10(11)(12) team in their bowl game. That does nothing for me toward ranking them up top. The fact that there were three first place votes in the APee, and one in the USA poll, kinda makes me believe that there are at least three people in college footbaw that are too dangerous to be allowed in public.
Then Oregon and Stanford. Again, Oregon played one ranked team and beat them and that was Stanford. Stanford played one ranked team and LOST. Plus, Oregon's strength on offense was their HUGE 335.9 yards per game rushing. In the game against The Barn, Oregon gained SEVENTY-FIVE yards. Plus, Auburn made two minor mistakes in that game that cost them two touchdowns. The score should have been at least 34-19 for The Barn.
Stanford lost to Oregon. Feh.
tOSU lost to Wisconsin that lost to TCU who played NO ONE.
Then we have Boomer Sooner. True, they lost two games, but the two they lost were to ranked teams that lost in the Big 12 circle, too. I just do not discount those losses because they ultimately matter and Boomer went on to beat another ranked team in the Big 12 Championship Game.
So let's look at this thing like people that understand mathematics, mmmmkay?
Auburn is number one with no doubt, even though there are morons that voted instead for TCU.
Oklahoma is number two because of SOS and their W-L in the only other legitimate conference DIVISION, the Big 12 SOUTH.
Then LSU, Alabama, Arkansas round out the top five.
Oregon is SIXTH in the REAL MATHEMATICALLY DONE Poll.
Oh, and in case you are color blind and cannot understand the chart, the SEC finished the year with SIX ranked teams, after 84% of the conference went bowling. The Big 12 comes in second with five ranked teams, ACC is third with four, Big 10(11)(12), which is going to change to the Big (?) this fall, is fourth with three, then the PAC-10 and the WAC (WTF?) tie with two, and then all the other loser conferences fall in line.
Oh, did I mention that since the start of the BCS, there have been thirteen BCS Championship Games? Of these 13 games, an SEC team has been to seven of them. Five different teams have represented the SEC. The SEC is 7-0 in the BCSCG and has won the last five.
The SEC is undefeated in the BCSCG and there is no other conference that even has a winning record in the same game. Weird, huh?
Now, is there ANY debate topic left to mention or did I sufficiently PROVE that the SEC is best conference in all of college footbaw?
By the way, The We Suck MSU Bulldogs finished the year at number 15 and prison raped Michigan in the Gata Bowl. What is up with that?
** Remember to send Andy a message about how much he slacked off on the SMQ this past season.
I have the round-up of awesome posts pretty much ready, but I do NOT want to publish it today. Not because it is a Saturday, but since it is COLLEGE FOOTBAW Bowl DAY!!!
WE BE CROOMING!!!
Enjoy the games, folks. If you want to sneak another Best of YOU post in, you better get it done today, because the Your MoM's Family 2010 Best of Posting post goes up first thing Monday morning.
If you want to see how freaking USELESS the APee College Footbaw Poll is, look no further.
If you recall, the Oregon Panty-Wearing Booty-Boys did not play on Week 14. The Barn beat their in-state rival, Bammeroids. But, the APee S-T-I-L-L ranked Oregon over The Barn.
Yesterday, Auburn defeated the SEC Eastern Division Champeens, 'Cocks, in the National World Championship Game. The Barn did this in a fashion that left absolutely no doubt at all that Cam Newton is the only legitimate candidate for the Heisman Trophy and that The Barn is certainly the World Champion.
The Oregon Flamers played their in-state rivals, BEAVERS, yesterday as their final game, because the Nancy Conference, PAC-10, does not play a championship game.
Today, Oregon and The Barn LITERALLY traded the vote count from last week. This totally makes no sense whatsoever if you are trying to make the argument that Oregon deserves to even be in the Top 25.
At the end of the season, let's recap the competition of the two. Keep in mind that both finish the season undefeated and The Barn won the World Championship Game That is Played Every Year in Atlanta, too.
Oregon played ONE TEAM that is ranked in the APee final poll, Stanford. You know that Stanford is not any good, too. Come on, it's FREAKING Stanford.
Auburn played FIVE teams in the final APee poll and defeated one of those TWICE. The fact that there is ONE pollster that would vote for Oregon over Auburn (much less TWENTY-THREE!) PROVES beyond any doubt that the APee is utterly, completely, and totally useless.
There is only one game that matters this weekend, and College Gameday is as far away from it as they can get and still stay in the country. Lee Corpseco and his crew are attending the Girls Field Hockey and Ballet Championships somewhere out Northwest. GO BEAVERS!!!
For those of you that are looking for NCAA Division I Footbaw, there is only one game today, The National Championship Game That is Held Every Year in Atlanta.
We have The Barn v. The 'Cocks at 4:00Pm today for the WHOLE KIT AND KABOODLE. The game is on CBS and it shall be the only game that I watch on television this year. That is, IF I can figure out how to turn the television on. the winner of today's contest shall be the Undisputed National Champion of College Footbaw 2010!!!
The Barn is -5 and the O/U is 62.5. I am going whole farm, hog, and wallet for The Barn and the over. If The Barn wins this one, they get an all expense paid trip to the Silly Bowl in Phoenix on January 10, 2011. The draw back? Brent Musburger.
College Gameday!!!
Please take the time to comment.
BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING ON MONDAY, GO TO HOST GATOR AND GET 50% OFF OF THEIR ALREADY INSANE HOSTING PRICES. CLICK ONE OF THOSE HUGE BLINKING THINGS TO THE RIGHT. WOULD I LIE TO YOU?
*You are going to have to click this to see it bigger*
While I am normally against a team dropping on a BYE, it doesn't bother me with Oregon because there is NO METRIC that would place them in first over Auburn anyway. The BCS was wrong last weekend on that.
Anyhoo, this graphic is stolen from the Four Letter's Standings Page and cobbled together to show all of the teams in the Top 25 along with the bowl eligible teams in their respective conferences. Of course, the PAC-10 is still not finished, so I guess that they could ALL actually win, because I do not think that the PAC-10 plays by actual rules, it is just what F-E-E-L-S good to those morons out there. Hell, they might even award THREE wins per team next weekend.
Here are Week 13 (14 according to BCS) Rankings
1 Auburn (SEC)
2 Oregon (PAC-10)
3 TCU (MW)
4 Stanford (PAC-10)
5 Wisconsin (Big 10{11}{12})
6 Ohio State (Big 10{11}{12})
7 Arkansas (SEC)
8 Michigan State (Big 10{11}{12})
9 Oklahoma (Big 12)
10 LSU (SEC)
11 Boise State (W-A-C)
12 Missouri (Big 12)
13 Nebraska (Big 12)
14 Oklahoma State (Big 12)
15 Virginia Tech (ACC)
16 Alabama (SEC)
17 Nevada (W-A-C)
18 Texas A&M (Big 12)
19 South Carolina (SEC)
20 Utah (MW)
21 Florida State (ACC)
22 Mississippi State (SEC)
23 Arizona (PAC-10)
24 West Virginia (How the Hell did a Big Least team get in?)
25 Northern Illinois (How the Hell did a Mid-American team get in?)
In case you do not notice, there are six SEC teams, three PAC-10 teams, two from Mountain West, three from the Big 10(11)(12), five from the Big 12 (three of those from the South), two from the WAC, two from the ACC, with a Big Least and a Mid-American team thrown in just to PISS ME OFF.
At this stage of the season, this doesn't look TOO bad, other than the Top 12 not being just straight SEC, but we have to let the lesser conferences get some play, too.
Now, if Auburn can just finish the REAL season out by beating 'Cocks, and the Beavers can finish off the Orbs, or whatever Oregon is, we can get a BCS Silly Game with TCU playing The Barn. That is what we want, y'all.
I have a great wrap-up post for today if FREAKING Harris will hurry the Hell up.
While you are waiting for it, why not go buy your Beavers jersey? We are all Beavers, now. (NO, we do not have to suck like the PAC-10, we just NEED to get TCU to the game with Auburn.)
And about that guy, Obama, is it possible to suck that hard? He must be a PAC-10 fan or something.
As we come to the end of the college footbaw season, I find myself compelled to become a HUGE HUGE HUGE Oregon State fan. GO BEAVERS!!!
We kinda need this one, y'all Beaver folks. Get your jersey ON!!!
By the way, the College Footbaw National Championship Game shall be held this coming Saturday, December 4, 2010 in Atlanta. The Championship Conference West Champions, the The Barn WarPlainEagTigs will take on the Championship Conference East Champions, the 'Cocks of the Palmetto State. Since I am a Westerner, I shall be pulling for The Barn. I simply cannot keep those jerseys in stock, though. What is up with that?
Here is the THIRD The Barn jersey that I have posted. It's Cam Newton's, too!!!
The Four Letter Network's College Gameday made the decision to try to get as far away from college footbaw as they could get without going to Boise. They are in SoCal for the National Junior College Handicapped Championship with Oducks v. uSCCC. I am not really sure where the Oducks play, but I am certain their town sucks. At least they didn't name their team, "The Trojans!!!"
"Hey, Jim, let's start a junior college footbaw team, but name it after something you slip on your junk!!! It will be a laugh riot!!!"
All across this great country, there are people that believe as I do. However, only in the South are there people that believe as I do that get to experience REAL college footbaw. I love my philosophical brethren, but when some right-minded person from Cali brings up the PAC-10 and wants to talk college footbaw, I just yawn.
Such is the case with Nigel at Six Meat Buffet this morning. I have all the sympathy in the world for PAC-10 homers, they have never experienced college footbaw FAH reals.
Let's check in on the historical record from the onset of the Bowl Championship Series to get a grasp on the way things really are. Luckily, since the BCS started, there have been metrics that have kept us from having to watch a uSCCC v. tOSU "championship" game every year. Obviously, the VAST majority of sportscasters, those morons that talk sports, went to SoCal or Bucknuts. That is the only explanation for those two teams EVER being ranked in the Top 100, much less the Top Ten.
Let's get those two LOSERS outta the way really quickly.
tOSU has played in three BCS championships and actually won one! They beat Miami, a team from the Big Least. They lost to Florida and LSU, who play in the, um, SEC.
uSCCC has played in two championship games and won ONE. They beat Boomer Sooner and lost to Tejas. Both teams are from the only other legitimate championship conference, the Big 12 SOUTH.
Two additional teams deserve a special mention. Flarda State Criminoles and Boomer Sooner. Oklahoma because they have played in the game four times, with a record of 1-3, losing to two different SEC teams (Geaux Tigers and Flarda) and uSCCC. Flarda State played in the first three, winning one against Va Tech of the Big Least and losing to Rocky Top (SEC) and Boomer Sooner (Big 12 SOUTH).
The Big Least has played in two games and is 1-1, with two different teams playing, Va Tech and Miami.
The ACC has played in three games and is 1-2 with only Flarda State representing.
The Big 10(11)(12) has played in three games, is 1-2, with only Bucknuts representing.
The PAC-10 has played in two games, is 1-1, with only uSCCC representing.
The Big Twelve SOUTH has played in seven games, with a record of 2-5, with three different teams playing, Boomer Sooner, Tejas, and Nebraksnatuckysaw. Okie and Tejas won one apiece.
Finally, the SEC. The SEC has won the BCS Championship Game for the last FOUR YEARS. In the twelve years that the BCS has been in operation, the SEC has played in six games, fully HALF of those games. Of those six games, the SEC has lost ZERO. Of those wins, the SEC has been represented by FOUR different teams, Rocky Top, Geaux Tigers (twice), Flarda (twice), and Bammer.
I would like to be able to say that today's number one in the BCS poll, The Barn, would add to the championships that the SEC has, but the reason that the SEC has not won every BCS game played to date is because of the parity in the conference. There can technically only be one undefeated team in the SEC, because they play a conference championship, unlike the PAC-10 or the Big 10(11)(12).
So, to summarize, one THIRD of the SEC has won one HALF of all BCS games and the SEC has never lost. Not once. There is no other conference that has a WINNING record in BCS games, much less an undefeated one.
To simplify things in college footbaw, I make the proposal that the Big 12 SOUTH champion and the SEC champion play for the national title every year. That is the only way to have a true college footbaw champion.
No hard feelings to you, the lesser conferences, there is simply no comparison of your conference to the SEC. This is not simply my opinion, which I have held ever since I figured out what college footbaw was, but the history and mathematics kinda proves me right. Get over it.
(PS. If I missed a conference in my rundown on the BCS game (from memory!), I am sorry, but y'all are irrelevant to the world as a whole and you know it. And the image on this post is to show y'all that even the suckiest teams in the SEC, have the hottest chicks with the biggest...um...hands.)
Well, we are still NOT showing for Teh Google Search, "College Gameday." It is taking a little more time this year and that damnable "Instant Search" is NOT helping.
CURSE YOU, TEH GOOGLE!!!
Anyhoo, the Four Letter Moron College Gameday crew shall be in Bammeroidville for the Tuscaloosa Bammeroids v. Joe Pa. I predict the final score to be 300-6, Bammer. Take that to the betting cage, baby.
Please do not forget to purchase your SEC College Gameday jersey.
Since we are always concerned about the state of SEC footbaw, why in the world would little girl's badminton concern me? Well, because Rocky Top's corch is quitting footbaw to corch it.
While looking at the match-ups before bowl season started, I noticed a stunning thing. There was only one SEC bowl game scheduled where the SEC team had a better record than their opponent. That was the UGA game. There was also one game where the SEC team had the same record as its opponent. That is the BCS Championship Game.
I like the match-up in the BCS Champ game. The Big 12 South and the SEC are the only conferences/divisions that are legitimate national champions. Yes, I think Bammer will win, but the game is interesting, nevertheless.
Let's look at the other games so far, since we all know that both Texas and Bammer are undefeated.
Clemson (8-5) defeated Kentucky (7-5). Clemson was SECOND in the ACC and lost to GaTech in the ACC Championship Game. Kentucky was NINTH in the SEC. Clemson won this game in the fourth quarter.
Georgia (7-5) defeated Texas A&M (6-6). UGA was FIFTH in the SEC. A&M was NINTH in the Big 12. This game was the only bowl game that was loaded toward the SEC team. The game was never close, UGA pounded A&M. Demand your money back, folks.
VaTech (9-3) defeated Tennessee (7-5). VaTech was THIRD in the ACC. Rocky Top was SIXTH in the SEC. And yes, Rocky Top got the shit beaten out of them.
Auburn (7-5) defeated Northwestern (8-4). The Barn was EIGHTH in the SEC. NW was FIFTH in the Big 10(11). The game went to overtime.
Penn State (10-2) defeated LSU (9-3). JaPa was SECOND in the Big 10(11). Geaux Tigers were THIRD in the SEC. LSU was down by ten at the half and scored 14-6 in the second half. The slow start cost the Geaux Tigers. LSU should have won this game.
Florida (12-1) defeated Cincinnati (12-0). Da Gates were SECOND in the SEC losing only the National Championship Game to Bammer. Cincinnati was the champion of the Big Least and had no business playing anyone other than a PAC-10 team in any bowl game. Cincinnati is the new Rutgers and Da Gates hammered them like a ten penny nail.
Connecticut (7-5) defeated USC (7-5). UConn was FIFTH in the Big Least. The Cocks were TENTH in the SEC. This was actually a pretty good match-up. The Cocks are notoriously bad at the end of the season and did not even get on the field until the second half of their bowl game. This was to be expected, somewhat.
Ole Miss (8-4) defeated Okie State (9-3). Ole Miss was horrendously over-ranked at the beginning of the year and their season was not disappointing to anyone that knows footbaw. They were FOURTH in the SEC. Okie State's season was terribly disappointing and they still came in THIRD in the Big 12. Of course, this game was a blowout of epic proportions, too.
Arkansas (7-5) defeated East Carolina (9-4). Razorhogs finished SEVENTH in SEC play. East Carolina was the Conference USA Champion. Arkansas pulled this one out in OT.
So it stands now that the SEC is 5-4 in bowl games. Only two of which were marginally close match-ups with the SEC being over-matched in seven games. Does this seem silly to you? It shouldn't, because the SEC is by FAR the best footbaw conference in the nation. Learn it, live it, love it.
In an all out effort to drive much traffic to a Sunday post, I am throwing down the gauntlet and picking on Bammeroids because they are easy to pick on.
(Please ignore the FACT that if a team goes undefeated in the SEC and THEN wins the SEC Championship game, there is no reason to even have a BCS Championship Game, it is irrelevant. And ignore the FACT that Bammeroids are NOT the most obnoxious fans even in the SEC, they are actually THIRD in obnoxiousness, despite what [Dead] Tommy 5 wants you to believe.)
History of Da Burr: Burr was BORN IN ARKANSAS and won an Arkansas high school footbaw championship as a player. He also played on the Bammeroid 1934 Championship team. Blah, blah blah......
Corching: He won 6 national championships, 13 conference championships in 25 years at Bammer. Burr also added another SEC Championship in 1950 at KENTUCKY!!! That Kentucky team beat Oklahoma in the Sugar Bowl. He also had a Heisman winner, John David Crow, at Tejas Agricultural and Mechanical University, but never at Bammer. Burr also won a Southwest Conference Championship at A&M. Burr's winning percentage for thirty-six years hovered around 74%. *Yawn* (See Note 2)
Da Sabear: Nickie-Poo corched at Michigan and Toledo before getting into college footbaw corching. Some of you shall say that DANGED! Nick corched at Michigan, y'all must not know much about footbaw. That team is in the Big 10(11) and they have always sucked, so they do not count.
Nick really started corching in 1999 at Geaux Tigers. He won two SEC Championships and one national championship. He got out of footbaw in December 2004 to go be the warden at some limited capacity prison in Miami for two years and then came to Bammer in 2007. He went undefeated in regular season play in his second and third seasons there.
In case you were not watching college footbaw this year, Sabear also led the Bammeroids to an SEC Championship over Da Undefeated Gates and Circumcision Jesus. To add to this insult to Burr Bryant, Sabear also delivered Bammer's FIRST Heisman winner.
Sabear, seven years corching, probably his second national championship, three SEC Championships, and a Heisman winnah.
Burr Bryant, thirty-six years corching, six national championships, and fourteen SEC Championships, one Heisman winnah.
WHO YA' GOT?
Anyhoo, Stacy McCain is whoring himself out for money to go to Pasadena to see the Bammeroids play in the national championship game. Go hepp him out.
If I am not mistaken, the place that Bammer is playing in Pasadena is the same place they have the junior college games for uSCCC and the junior college championship game between the PAC-10 and the BIG 10(11).
Note 1: Yes, I am aware that this is blasphemy to Bammeroids, who cares? They went undefeated in the SEC, won the SEC Championship, a Bammer player FINALLY won a Heisman, and they are going to the Ridiculous Bowl, too.
Note 2: Burr had an offer to corch at the University of Arkansas, but turned it down to join the military after Pearl Harbor's bombing. For this act alone, Burr Bryant punks out the Sabear as the greatest corch evah at Bammer, until someone else offers up their life and livelihood instead of corching. Not even close.
Since I cannot seem to post on a regular basis anymore, I am shutting this blog down.
Just kidding, I have never been consistent or responsible with anything that I have ever done. I have no clue how I can do any better with this blog. I have noticed that the more I bitch about how much I suck, the more money y'all send, so shit, Hell, damn, I suck. (Hide and watch the money roll in on that Pay-Pal account.)
I have been sitting here trying to figure out who should win the Heisman Trophy and the bestest candidate has got to be Barry Obama in a landslide.
Think I'm kidding? Well, then you are not watching the Congress in its attempts to force a College Playoff. While I am totally for a footbaw playoff in college baw, the very last thing I want is for the fucking CONGRESS to get involved. Dude, they are currently debating taking over our medical system. HOLY SHIT!!! That is bad enough, but FOOTBAW?!?!?!
As a matter of fact, Basil has already worked this out. I think that we should just give Basil the salary of all of the Congressdouchebags and be done with everything.
Think about this. CONGRESS. WANTS. TO. GET. INVOLVED. IN. FOOTBAW. NOES!!!!!!!!
Please remember who has been in charge of Congress since 2007, The Party of the Morons. If you care anything about anything, now is not the time for anything to move through Congress. Not only that, but think about the fact that California has FIFTY-THREE Congressmen. Does that fair well for uSCCC to be in the damn championship game every year?
Just for another fear tactic, Ohio has eighteen. Holy shit, do you think that we would have a uSCCC v. tOSU game every friggin' year? Well, of course. And then, uSCCC would be the national champion every damn year.
By the way Bammeroids, y'all have seven Congressmen, say goodbye to ever playing in the game again, but New York, y'all have 29, so I guess we'll see the damn Orangemen or whatever gay name y'all have for Sarah-Cooze this year.
You know what the most amazing part of this Congressional legislation is? It was contributed by a Republican that made a comment about Cincinnati and TCU or one of the other ridiculous teams. Shit, I fell asleep reading him bitching about the SEC, Big-12, and the PAC-10 being in the game every year. Dude, you want me to get your gay-ass shawl and purse outta the truck?
To hammer home the point, only the SEC and the Big 12 SOUTH should ever be in the championship game. There are no other legitimate teams in the country. Cincinnati sucks. So does TCU.
Congress, please just embezzle your millions, take your spoils, live like kings, and leave us normal, intelligent people the fuck alone.
Well, it is finally HERE! The day that we have all been waiting for, National Championship Saturday! In 2009 National Championship Game, we are watching the Bammeroids from some hicktown in Alabama and Da Gates from some Swampbilly town located in Flarda. As usual, the number one and the number two and the number three and the number four and the number five and the number six and the number seven (you get the picture) teams ALL hail from the Southeastern Conference.
In a strange turn of events, there are other college footbaw games scheduled today. I have not figured out exactly why, but such is the nature of college footbaw. The only other game today worth watching is the Cornilargo of Tejas v. The Huskers of Nesbraskensaw. I am unsure where Nebraskensaw is, but I certain that it is a lovely place. It sounds so hilly and green and lush.
And now.....college footbaw!!!
Here's what I want to happen. The Cornilargo of Tejas to lose to the Huskers by 50 points and the Bammeroids to lose to Da Gates by one point. this shall throw everything into a tailspin and the BCS computers will keep the thing seriously screwed up. If the HUMANS have anything to say about it, maybe they can somehow get tOSU and uSCCC ranked as number one and number two at the end of the year.
Oh! After this weekend, the "bowl" season starts and we get to watch obviously inferior teams play each other for ridiculous reasons while everyone ignores the games. Then there comes a ridiculous thing called the BCS Championship Game which means absolutely nothing. But, there IS a trophy or something.
It is probably pretty obvious to regular readers of this tripe that the last two weeks have been filled on my DAINCE card, but that is coming to a close soon. I have been keeping an eye on y'all and I am certainly impressed. Y'all are such well behaved young men and wimmerns, your parents would be so proud.
FOOTBAW. (because college footbaw trumps everything)
In case you are unaware, the SEC suffered ZERO defeats against other conferences yesterday. Also, two of those games were against RANKED inferior conference teams, too.
In-state rivalry, We Suck v. Klansingtonville turned out EXACTLY like I predicted back in July. As a matter of fact, when The Cross Burners were ranked NUMBER FOUR (or whatever) in the preseason polls, I stated that they would win at MOST eight games, lose to the We Suck and that the alumni idiots would call for Houston Nutt's firing. So far, no one has called for Nutt's head on a burning cross yet, but give it time, y'all, I friggin' KNOW those idiots in Klansingtonville, they think that they should win the BCS every year. By the way, We Suck beat the mortal SHIT outta The Klan, 41-27.
Oh yeah, remember when the folks at Klansingtonville State burned down the FIRST Negro Fraternity House on campus? Yeah, it happened in 1988. Um, SIX YEARS after I graduated from high school. That horrendous past that they are so interested in putting behind them, is like really recent and shit, yo. (A mere 27 years from the time that the Democrats first let a Negro on campus until they let them LIVE there outside of the slave quarters, too! And a mere 21 years after that, they let the Negroes like eat in the cafeteria and stuff! Hell, they even let Barry Obama get on stage there and he did not have to Double Dutch or even shine shoes!!!)
Oh, the unranked 'Cocks beat NUMBER EIGHTEEN Clemson yesterday, too. *Yawn*
The only other big shocker in college footbaw was the Okies win over the Okie Staters. I didn't keep up with that game, but it appears that a few Cowboys stayed on the bus when they arrived at the stadium. Weird, huh?
No games were played on the West Coast, so there are no scores from the All-Girl Community Colleges. What do they play? Like six games a year or something?
When Andy finally gets up and posts "Sunday Morning Quarterback," the link will be HERE.
Da News.
I swear I do not want to keep posting political/idiot posts, but there are a few friends of mine that only get their news here. Far be it for me to keep them from being less than informed on the important stuff.
As always, the biggest news this past week is that our president, Barry Obama is a doddering, simpering moron of epic proportions. The fact that anyone in the world thinks that this idiot is intelligent continues to stun, shock, and amaze me. Really, there NEEDS to be a test to vote, FUCK THAT! There needs to be an intelligence test to RUN for office. Seriously, if there was a single kid in my kindergarten that was as dumb as Barry is NOW, our teacher would have told his parents that he was retarded and sent him to retard school. Please keep in mind that Barry Obama is FRIGGIN' forty-eight years old and is a total fucking idiot. HE. IS. 48. (But, he's YOUNG, I TELL YA!!!)
There were some gate crashers at a White House State Dinner this past week and everyone lost their friggin' shit about that. It seems these gate crashers had photos taken with all of the imbeciles at the dinner, too. Funny though. Barry knows these people from back when. Maybe he first met them at his "I Hate Israel" group meetings, huh?
The fact that our ELECTED leaders hate the philosophy upon which our country was founded would be laughable if it was not too dangerous to the entire world, huh?
Here, let Barry convince you exactly how dumb he is. IN. HIS. OWN. WORDS.
Okay, you get the point, Barry Obama is retarded.
Let's check in on the other leftist idiocy rolling around in the Moronosphere in the past week. Please understand that these links are NOT jokes, no matter how much they seem to be. While most of us do understand logical thought and rational, fact-based thinking processes, Leftards refuse to learn mathematics, science, or history and that renders their opinions and ideas ridiculous to us normal folks. Enjoy how stupid they are, but keep in mind, they run our government.
Split a MOST WANTED terrorist's lip while capturing him, face a court martial or criminal charges. Of all the insanely idiotic, ridiculous bullshit that our moron president has done in his lifetime, this has to rank in the top TWO. I still regard marrying Worf as one of the top two, as well. What a hideous looking woman.
While I try to crunch numbers on the state of our economy, I search diligently for more and more information on money and how to hide MINE from the thieves and corruptocrats in government. Here's a little something that I had not even considered in this light. Wonder how much false consumer spending is caused by folks not having to pay for a place to live?
Let's look at the "healthcare" proposal outside of the lunacy of those that promote government control. "Hey! Let's add about thirty million folks to the list of folks that do not pay for something! That will make things CHEAPER for everyone!"
I am heading outta town again tomorrow, do y'all think that maybe y'all can keep friggin' Deion Sanders from coming out of retirement while I am gone? Is that TOO MUCH to ask of y'all, MY FAMDAMILY?
Anyhoo, I gotta do come folder cleaning to get the news out there for the six of y'all that read this Headstone of FAIL. Oh, notice that even though I have not been posting regularly and traffic is falling for the past month, the rank of this blog has been INCREASING in Mississippi? I even remember back when this was the number one political blog in Mississippi even though I consider this joint a HUMOR blog.
Just so you know, the biggest news in the country right now is the fact that despite sucking unlimited bags of dicks at playing footbaw, THREE-LOSS uSCCC is STILL ranked in the BCS!!! Please make a note that NEVER-EVER ranked Stanford, the team that beat the absolute tee-total mortal SHEE-IT outta uSCCC this past weekend, is only ranked ONE SLOT above uSCCC. Seriously, please, wha...da...fu...?
Now, with neither rhyme, nor reason, the linkdump.
You know what we really need right now with the Democrats destroying the economy with their lunacy? How about MORE TAXES? Where the Hell is John Adams when you need him?
What exactly are the stats on who pays the taxes, by the way? OH. Not good.
Guess what happens when unions run the show? PART I. They run off businesses? Dang. PART II. They run off businesses? Dang. Is there an echo up in this M-Fer?
Speaking of Barney Frank, Joe Lieberman has gotten some enemies on the Moron-side of the political spectrum, too. Good Lord, Joe is as far left as you can get without falling off the edge of the world. Why do they hate him now? Because he supported The McCainiac? It should be illegal to be a leftie or either you should be locked up in the lunatic asylum.
STANFORD 55 - uSCCC 21. The fun part? Stanford has a VERY good chance to go to the Rose Bowl. If Oregon loses, Stanford is IN. Bwahahahahahahaha, THE PAC-10 FUCKING SUCKS.
Scoreboard moved to December 5, 2009. Better known as National Championship Saturday!
As usual, the College Gameday squad lopes off to watch a game that is a total mismatch of talent, but at least they are at the Tejas game in Fort Worth. Remember, the Big 12 South is actually FOOTBAW, so at least they did sneak in a game featuring ONE TEAM. The BCS third-ranked Tejas Cornilargo take on the Baylor Bears today. For your information, Baylor is ranked DEAD FRIGGIN' LAST in the whole Big 12 Conference. Number one v. number twelve! Let's get the College Gameday crew to this damned game, The Four Letter!!!
In case you missed it yesterday, NUMBER FIVE, Cincinnati eeked out a win against "No. 25" West Virginia. Also, on Thursday, "No. 24" South Florida got the mortal SHIT beat outta them by Rutgers, 31-DONUTS. Rutgers was the last team that was promoted like Cinci has been this year. Please remember, there are ONLY eighteen legitimate teams that should be ranked at any time in the BCS. Those are the entire SEC and the South division of the Big 12.
THE game today is Bammeroids v. We Suck. Why do I say that? Because Bammer can lose it ALL today. Da Gates also travel to beatoff the 'Cocks today, another game that has potential to get uSCCC or tOSU to the BCS Championship Game.
In other SEC news, Geaux Tigers have a BYE against LaTech at home, the Klan brings Rocky Top to their White Supremacy Convention, The Barn travels to UGA, and the Razorhawgs have Troy coming to their trailer. Dammit, Troy has a bitchin' Trans-Camaro.
Finally, the Hillbillies are at Vandy. THAT is the ultimate College Gameday trip. Fah reals, yo. *Yawn, THUD*
To check in on the other six teams that are legitimate BCS contenders, yeah, well, nevermind, the slate is BUH-UH-UH-UH-ORING.
Dude, I wish Iowahawk had not posted that, because I am already struggling to stay motivated to actually perform work that pays me some DUST. Now, I only have one million reasons to not do a damn thing other than play around with my own BCS computer. COLLEGE GAMEDAY!!!
As is our wont to do, here is the Weekly Sunday Morning Quarterback post. As expected, Andy makes excuses for the Geaux Tigers, but lays it on hard with the Big 10 (11) and the FRIGGIN' PAC-10. And rightfully so, those conferences are not even good enough to field a wimmern's soccer team.
If you are a regular reader of this Temple to Mediocrity, you already know that we (smart people) back Basil's plan for a playoff system.
OH! You mean SECONDARY TRAUMA? Dammit, why don't you Barrystream Media types just say that Christianity and utter individualism killed those folks at Fort Hood? Same thing as what y'all are doing now, you fucktarded shitbags. It would still be lying and actually relay the message that you wanted to relay. No blood, no foul.
Of course when you specifically set out to kill in the name of Islam by screaming "Allahu Akbar" or whatever those murdering fuckers screech, OF COURSE IT IS NOT A TERRORIST ATTACK. SERIOUSLY. FUCK. ME. TO. DEATH.
Those "Progressives" in the news today include, Barney Frank who was present when his latest significant other was busted for growing dope in Frank's HOUSE. Please recall that Barney Frank also lived with another dude that got busted for running a gay whore house IN THEIR HOUSE. In case you are curious, Barney Frank is a Democrat Representative from Massachusetts, that just happens to be the Chairman of the House Financial Services Committee. And he is a fucking idiot, hence DEMOCRAT.
Another "Progressive" in the news today is none other than former Vice-President Al Gore, who was too smart to be President. He is found quoting his favorite philosophers, too. Oddly, they TOO are Marxist. Hey! SHOCKA!!!
What happens if all of the sudden facts pop into your head and you leave the Idiot Movement? Well, they try to destroy you, like the Moron President is doing the country.
And if by some stroke of magic, you never leave the movement, what knowledge do you ever gain? Crowder shows you.....
