Thursday, March 27, 2008

Women are so Gay

This is a French pedicure. I am stunned by the fact that women do this to themselves on purpose. They most definitely do NOT do this for men, they do this for other women.

Disclaimer: I am a dude and I really like women. I am also a dude that cannot even imagine why women would wear high-heeled shoes except for "private-time" with their man. Shoes should be really comfortable, high-heels ain't that.

Let's get with it. Basic rule of normal human hygiene number one: If it's from France, it is flat-out nasty. You see, those women in France have a damn tendency to NOT shave their pits and they have a strong tendency to smell like uncooked sausage. American women should NEVER try to emulate French women. The very reason that this is called a damn French pedicure is because French women are so damn nasty that they do not cut their damn toenails.

Basic rule of normal human hygiene number two: When you get the white stuff showing on the end of your toenails, they are too damn long and you need to cut them. Fingernails on WOMEN are the sole exception to this white thing rule. Men, do not ever let the white crap show on a single nail on your damn body.

Are we perfectly clear on these rules? Good, go straighten that crap up, please.

Please take the time to cut your damn toenails.

7 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

There is actually a ridiculous new "product" out that is a piece of plastic that keeps your toes separated while you paint them. Stupid.

Two Dogs said...

dr zibbs, since you know this to be true, I am going to assume that you are female. I have been berated because the French pedicure is not a new thing at all according to many sources. How the Hell am I supposed to know these things?

Anonymous said...

You are obviously a man due to your lack of taste, and understanding of women.

Two Dogs said...

You are obviously an idiot to comment on a blog post that is four months old. Sorry, ma'am.

Anonymous said...

WOW!!! Where is that photo from?!

Anonymous: "You are obviously a man due to your lack of taste, and understanding of women."

Anonymous, are your feet that gorgeous?!

Two Dogs said...

Anon, I just grabbed the image from Google Images, I didn't even flag the site that I stole it from because I am a bad blogger and had to no clue how much interest that women's feet would generate.

That image sends about five percent of my traffic to this blog. I have no idea what people like. Obviously.

Two Dogs said...

Anon, I just grabbed the image from Google Images, I didn't even flag the site that I stole it from because I am a bad blogger and had to no clue how much interest that women's feet would generate.

That image sends about five percent of my traffic to this blog. I have no idea what people like. Obviously.

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