Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Gun Control 101 or You and Your Homeys Might be Lined in Chalk

This is a topic that is very important to me even though it seems that the majority of people don't see the importance of owning a gun. I am a lifetime member of that dastardly National Rifle Association even though I choose not to carry a firearm on my person. Well, my problem is not necessarily carrying, but the fact that I would struggle not to use it on a daily basis.

Man, have you ever noticed that for the most part, people are as dumb as fence posts? Come on, if you can't drive seventy-five miles an hour or faster, DO. NOT. GET. ON. THE. INTERSTATE. HIGHWAY. EVER. Stick to the kiddie pool, you can touch the bottom there. Bang, bang, pow, pow.

Or, have you ever been in the drive-through at Wendy's and someone in front of you has three orders and they are all the same damn thing? Come on, you are old enough to drive, you are with people you know obviously, and you can't divide the total by three? Bang, bang, reload, pow, pow.

Okay, is there anyone that still pays for anything with a check? Hey, that plastic thing is just like a check except you don't have to pay fourteen dollars every time that you use it two hundred times. Write a check for the electric bill if you want to, but don't you DARE try to buy a pork barbeque sandwich with one in front of me. Bang, bang, pow, pow.

On the topic of food, why can you buy a Double Cheeseburger at McDonald's for 99 cents and a Single Cheesburger is the same price? Seems to me that I could get one piece of meat for free. And why is the Double Hamburger $1.79, there's no damn cheese on it! Reload, bang, bang, pow, pow.

And finally, exactly who is upset that there is actually a fee if you use an ATM anywhere other than your own bank? If you don't want to pay the fee, go to your own damn bank. How hard is that? I just want to lose my mind when someone says that banks shouldn't charge for that service, EVEN IF YOU DON"T BANK THERE?!?!?! What kind of crazy statement is that? That is akin to me walking over to my neighbor's house, pulling out his garden hose and watering my own yard. Trust me, Dewayne would have my head on a stick for that. Bang, bang. Damn, that's all the ammo that I have on me. Aren't you glad that I don't carry a gun?

Oh, and the "bang, bang, pow, pow" is from Frank J's artwork of President Bush. Funny stuff.