Monday, November 28, 2005

An Idiot's Guide to the Bill of Rights-Amendment Two

In a continuation of yesterday's theme of Dammit, You Morons, Quit Pissing on My Parade, comes the next installment of An Idiot's Guide to the Bill of Rights.

Amendment Number Two: A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

I shall dissect the argument against uncontrolled purchases of firearms here. Most of the wetbrains for gun control argue that this amendment only serves to maintain a "militia". For all of you that cannot or will not pick up a dictionary, a "militia" is the whole body of able-bodied male citizens declared by law as being subject to call to military service. According to that, women are NOT allowed to own firearms, and since women can't own them, no one can. I guess that argument is better than any other for outlawing guns. But I digress.

I guess that you could also make the argument that all guns must be owned by the "people" too. That would mean that ALL guns would belong to ALL people. Hey, try to come get your part of our gun from my house. Hilarity ensues.

Anyhoo, since our Founding Fathers were serious dudes, most people would interpret this amendment to simply state that the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed. That means that you can buy any gun or ammunition, at any time that someone would sell it to you. No where do I read anything that remotely says that these firearms must not have detachable magazines or any other such nonsense.

Now, to apply more granite-solid wisdom to the debate, is there honestly anyone out there that has a legitimate argument for banning any type of firearms? I know that most people would not agree to allow a paroled criminal to own a gun or even vote for that matter, but that is covered in reams of State legislation.

Anyway, from my read of Amendment Two, it is patently unlawful for Congress to pass any bill that restricts our individual rights to own guns. So, Chuck Schumer, sit down and shut up.

Stay tuned for tomorrow's lesson on where that damned military can bunk.....