Sunday, January 01, 2006

Gay Cowboys, Oh My!

I was really trying to understand what the big deal is about "Brokeback Mountain". Then I went to the website. "Group Ticket Sales"? Wow, Lamar, we can get a bunch of our girlfriends together, get some Zimas, and go watch these "roughnecks" love on each other.

The movie tag-lines describe the film as "following the 20-year forbidden romance between two roughneck ranch hands". Man, I just threw up in my mouth a little. Who in Hell wants to see this? And why in Hell didn't some of the other "roughnecks" do something about it?

I can picture the conversation now.

"Y' know, Clem, I think them boys is sweet on each other. Kinda makes me sick."

"Red, I think you may be right. They sure do slip off to the hayloft together a bunch."

"Maybe we should take them into town and show them what a girl is."

"Hell, I ain't putting them sissies in my truck. Somebody might see them with me."

Anyway, there seems to be some problems with the take as advertised about this movie. From the numbers that have been released regarding the Box Office take, either the theaters have somewhere in the neighborhood of 1500 seats or tickets for this movie cost $45.00 each.

Justice will be served for Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal if they are stereotyped in their gay cowboy roles.

Hey! Let's rename the movie. Here's mine, "Sticky Back Mounting". Okay, that was damn nasty.