Thursday, June 26, 2008

John McCain is OLD and Barry is Tech Savvy!

In the last couple of days, there has been much vomiting of the FACT! that John McCain is old and doesn't know how to run computers, but that the Obamessiah does. What do I think?

It might be true on an individual level that Barry knows more about running Microsoft Word, although I truly doubt it because Havard types simply refuse to type, that is woman's work, but there is one little problem with just going on that measure. You see, the President of the United States does NOT change the oil in the Presidential limosine and I am pretty sure that he is not going to be called on to reboot the Department of Defense server. Nope, he will probably have IT guys to do that.

But picture this, "Mr. President, Stanley is in the conference room and he can't get the pop-ups to stop on his laptop. I bet he's been downloading pr0n again!"

"Okay, Jeanette, tell him I'll be right there. Do you know if he has 'Hijack This' on his laptop? Aw, Hell, I'll just take my jump drive, I got a bunch of spyware removal programs on it. I guess the ambassador from Darfur will just have to wait."

Thank goodness we elected Barry, McCain wouldn't even know how to RUN Hijack This!

Anyhoo, let's take a comparison of who exactly Barry Obama will hire against the person John McCain would hire.

Let's set down some guidelines for this task. What, you want to use the candidates personal campaign sites as a gauge? Well, okay. From February of this year, I compared the websites of all the candidates. And I picked Mitt Romney's as having the fewest errors and the best design. I dismissed John McCain's site quickly because there was not any Web 2.0 stuff. Really, I just thought that he didn't have much of a chance, but again, I was wrong. So, now I revisit that method to discredit the FACT that John McCain doesn't know computers.

Barry's site is HERE. If you try to modify that address line to from the splash page, the link changes to a page AUTOMATICALLY, that tricky little computer savvy so-and-so, Barry Obama. The very first thing that you notice is that his site OPENS with a flash screen. That is the very first NOES! in website design. This is a mistake made by only the utmost in total internet LOSERS. Think Geocities! The RSS feeds are okay if you can EVER get to them around all of the "contribution" links, his site uses CSS and is set-up for cross-browser support. You will also find it damn near impossible to find any information other than really vague platitudes about "Hopey-Change." Try to find how he will pay for that idiotic healthcare plan. At the top menu, click the tab that reads "Issues," choose the "healthcare" page and that information is at the very bottom of the healthcare page hidden in the very last paragraph of the very last PDF document. You would think that information would be on the first page, huh? (Well, when you have an idea that is as sandpoundingly stupid as Barry's on healthcare, you tend to hide that.)

Another GLARING problem though is the overwhelming amount of errors found in the code. It is a very compact site with only about 770 lines of code, but is has almost 150 errors in that compact code. His programmer is very sloppy and obviously has no friggin' clue what in the Hell he is doing. His programmer is obviously someone wearing a Mickey Mouse thong, living in his mother's basement and taking breaks every thirty minutes to masturbate furiously to internet pr0n! Just like sports bloggers!

Imagine Barry having the responsibility for TOP SECRET computer stuff! *Shudder*

HERE is John McCain's site. The first thing that we notice is that McCain doesn't use that stupid flash screen because he doesn't waste his time with childish bullshit like Obama's guys. The site is very, very simple and has a pretty good appearance. Also, the links are easy to find and the search function works very well.

The page loads in fractions of the time that Barry's page loads and doesn't have the multiple cookies to be added to view the entire page. (If you have cookies enabled, Barry's site adds seven! But, remember, spying is B-A-D!)

And lastly, McCain's site while twice the size of Barry's has less than HALF of the errors. Over 1400 lines of code, yet still only 75 errors! To me, this means that McCain is a little more concerned with performance and clarity than Barry.

While I am very, very certain that neither McCain nor Barry coded their sites themselves, I think that the more important point is that the President needs to possess the intelligence to hire the best person for the task at hand. Obviously, Barry fails miserably at picking folks to help him in his endeavors.

Point to McCain for computer strengths, despite what the media will tell you.

Please take the time to comment.