Saturday, June 28, 2008

Well, Okay Then - A Healthcare Missive

Since I posted that crap below about Medicaid, we have some more information on medical services. Please, read on.

Today, I find out about Obama's spiritual consultant for his campaign seems to think that Jesus was an illegal alien and now he is asking Elizabeth Edwards to help him out on his healthcare boondoggle. Awesome. Can everyone laugh and point at the morons, please?

According to ABC News, the most reknown healthcare financier has chimed in on the best way to pay for universal healthcare. Thank goodness, it's about time to hear from Elizabeth Edwards on the financing on a patently unconstitutional idea. We now have everything. Where in the Hell are we going to put it?

You are probably asking yourself, what part of the medical field is Edwards involved in? Well, Rainbow, she isn't, she's an attorney and married to an attorney that has made a gazillion dollars suing doctors. You are probably scratching your head wondering just why in the mortal Hell ABC would even quiz Edwards on healthcare. Well, that is because according to ABC, she is qualified because she has breast cancer. AND Barry Obama is consulting with her, you know, she is getting to talk to the CHOSEN ONE (pbuh).

So, to further the discussion with a person that is actually SIX times as qualified as Edwards, using ABC's and Barry's standards, I now turn it over to my Uncle Arn Clyde. He's had skin cancer removed four times, he has liver cancer, and he also has lung cancer. And chemo, too. DO NOT ASK HIM ABOUT THAT SHIT! SIX DAMN CANCERS! EAT THAT ELIZABETH EDWARDS, SIX TIMES MORE QUALIFIED THAN YOU! (By the way, how do you ACTUALLY pay for your healthcare, Mrs. Edwards, is it with that grantillion bucks that your husband made putting doctors and hospitals damn near out of business?)

The Interview-

TD<--that would be me: Uncle Arn, how many times have you had cancer?

UA<--that would be Uncle Arn: Well, I done had skin cancers and that dang chemo so many times I can't recall. Liver cancer and I got lung cancer, too. The lung stuff ain't so bad right now, but it's gonna get worse. Doctors said that I'm eat up. Hand me a cigarette. (NO, he quit, like yesterday.)

TD: How do you pay for the doctors?

UA: Well, me and your Aunt Claynell had to sell a bunch of land, cause my cut of that last bill after the insurance finished paying was damn near one hunert thousand dollars.

TD: Couldn't you get government help?

UA: Shut your damn mouth, boy, I pay my damn bills, do I look like a damn deadbeat to you? Come on, I'm putting your smart ass to work, punk, I shoulda whupped your damn daddy's ass for having you. Smart mouthed little dumbass.

TD: Wait, wait, I got a couple more questions.

UA: Hurry up, daylights wasting. You trying to get outta working, huh?

TD: What do you think about Elizabeth Edwards saying that the government should FORCE everyone to get insurance?

UA: Sounds like a damn good idea to me as long as they don't take anymore of my damn money to pay for that worthless shithead Johnson down the road. Force his ass to take care of his own little crumb-crunchers. He ain't hit a lick at a snake in seventeen years. His oldest won't even go in the Army, he's so worthless, he makes coffee all day, you b'lieve that? That dumbass has got hair as long as yours was, back when you looked like a sissy. Claynell was worried you was queer. Oh, that Johnson boy has got grommets in his ears big as the ones on a tarp.

TD: Well okay, but, Elizabeth Edwards is talking about forcing those of us who work to pay for everyone to get insurance, what about that?

UA: Who the Hell is this dumbass? A lawyer or something?

TD: You don't remember that really pretty guy that was running for President?

UA: The little short boy with the hair like a sissy?

TD: Yes sir, that one.

UA: That queer is married? What in Hell does that wife of his look like?

TD: Not too smooth.

UA: Well, I guess she ain't got good sense at all if she married that boy. I heard his daddy was a miner, I bet his daddy killed himself when he heard his boy was funny. And you need to quit watching all that garbage. You gonna wind up queer yourself you keep watching that. Why don't you just watch baseball instead? Cardinals on tonight. Them idiots in Warshington ain't got a clue what it means to work. Hell, they don't even read the shit that they vote on. Somebody writes a bill and the rest of 'em thank G-d that they didn't have to write anything to get their check. Lazy-ass deadbeats. You ever watch that Congress channel, there's one guy up there talking to an empty room. And did you know that we have to pay that damn Trent Lott his whole damn salary even though he quit?

TD: Yes sir.

UA: He oughta go back to cheerleading. Fancy-ass twerp.

TD: Well said. Let's go hit a lick at a snake. What ever the Hell that means.

And what do children have to say about healthcare? Watch.

Study: Most Children Strongly Opposed To Children's Healthcare

(Hat-Tip: This Goes to 11)

Please take the time to comment.

Disclaimer: Please do understand that I personally wish that every other man was homosexual, that way the populating of the rest of the planet would be left completely up to me. Go get your freak on, dudes.