Sunday, July 13, 2008

YET Another (More) Reason(s) to Consider McCain (Anyone Else)

I am trying to stay out of the electioneering going on for President aside for pointing out the record-breaking stupidity of Barry and the supporters of Barry. I said earlier in the year that I have no candidate, McCain certainly is not my idea of what a President should be. It interests me no end that I cannot find one single, solitary reason to even consider Barry Obama, every policy that he believes in is terrible, every philosophy is sheer insanity. But HERE's another reason to vote McCain, that makes three in case you are keeping count.

Orgasmically Quivering Hypothetical Reporter: Mr. Soon to be ordained Savior of the land and my master, who are you considering for the person to head up your energy policy committee?

The Obamoron: I have searched high and low and really want Al Gore because he is so dreamy, but I was thinking about finding the governor where energy costs are three times higher than anyplace else. You know, because I am a devout contrarian.

Orgasmically Quivering Hypothetical Reporter: Mr. You are the only person in the world that I worship, what are going to do about Jesse Jackson wanting to possess your family jewels for his own because you are so amazing and he wants to spawn a super race of geniuses?

The Obamoron: Well, there's really nothing that I can do about that since Jesse's own son has tossed him inconveniently under the blood-stained drivetrain of my BUS. I am not completely sure, I have almost lost count, but that does only leave 299,999,845 more of you to get under that vehicle. Will you commoners please hurry?

Orgasmically Quivering Hypothetical Reporter: Oh, love of my life and only reason for my continued survival, are you going to speak at the Brandenburg Gate so you can show the cretin Rethugs how stupid that Reagan was during his stumbling, bumbling speech there?

The Obamoron: Absolutely not, all intelligent people, meaning only me, know that Reagan was the one person that destroyed the best form of government ever devised. He and all his minions are forever being burned in the Hell created by our Trinity, Lenin, Mao, and Pol Pot. Praise be unto them. I am going to try to repair the fractured relationship that Reagan and Reagan alone started with our philosophically intellectual betters. I am going to beg, grovel, and plead with our masters, the Communists, to see if I can get them to show us the wrongness of our Constitution!

Orgasmically Quivering Hypothetical Reporter: Master Obamessiah, since it is blatantly obvious to us that are grovelling at your feet, that we are in the midst of the worst economic crisis in the history of the world, what are your thoughts?

The Obamoron: Yes there is "little doubt we’ve moved into recession," so I am proposing the largest government boondoggle in the history of the world. I fight history with history. And could you please quit arching your back rhythmically, moaning, and pulling at the front of your trousers?

Orgasmically Quivering Hypothetical Reporter: Oh G_d, I'm, I'm, I'm........

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