Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Holy Crap, I Forgot!

I am so sorry y'all, in the rush to finish up two projects before the end of the year so I can bill the clients and write the debt off as losses, all the while still receiving the cash for them next year, I forgot that it was almost Chrimmus.

<--This is me at home right now, preparing to play you a zippy Christmas song with perfect pitch and intonation. Filled with joy and caring.

In less than 1.5 hours, it shall be Christmas here in G_d's Country so I want to extend a sincere and warm Christmas gift to all of you who read this ridiculous bullshit that I post daily. I certainly appreciate you wasting your time daily to read what spews forth fully unformed from my melon. Calling out my favorite reader in front of all of you others would make everyone feel somewhat uncomfortable, so I shall just say this. You know who you are and I certainly appreciate your comments on a frequent/semi-daily/daily basis. You comments are so insightful/witty/serious/well thought out and I certainly like your posting name/real name/anonymous comments. I love you and think of you all the time. You know who you are. If you are asking, "Is he talking about me? I'm his favorite commenter?" Yes, I am and yes, you are.

You always hear people say, "Remember the reason for the season!" As a gift to you this year, I offer you the permission to punch whomever says that, right smack in the throat. And you should offer this retort as well, "I am almost certain that Jesus, the supposed reason for the season, would certainly prefer that you live your entire year with the same phony enthusiasm that you dredge from the wretched bowels of your miserable existence during late December, you phony douchebag."

However, you must supply the smile when you say it, then they shall never know whether or not you're kidding. And we all know that you are not.

Now, the single best thing to come from Chicago in the last fifteen years, I present....a Christmas song for your musical enjoyment.

And hopefully you have a joyous and Merry Christmas filled with family and friends, good food, and that your every wish for the day comes true. You are all in my prayers daily. Thanks for making this such fun for me.

Please take the time to comment.


Joubert said...

Hopefully Santa will say to himself, "That mean ol' meanie is not nearly as cynical as he pretends to be" and brings you what your heart desires. Merry Christmas.