Monday, September 01, 2008

Checkers and Dave Report Live on Gustav

I have been watching Hurricane Gustav all morning and day long, since about 3:00am. I am trying to figure out if I need to eat the three pints of Haagen-Dazs that I have in my freezer. So far, it looks like a big, fat NO. Dang, and I went out specifically to get them yesterday with high hopes of topping my Hurricane Katrina Haagen Dazs eating frenzy.

So far, I have read a total of 367 articles, watched 294 videos, and checked the Dopler a grand total of six million times. That ice cream is friggin' taunting me. Damn you, Haagen Dazs, damn you!

All that said, I ran across the most definitive article ever published regarding hurricanes with THIS from KansasCity.com. What follows is a series of quotes from the article with award winning commentary.

"The good news is that we haven't had a breach," Mayor Ray Nagin said to reporters, almost echoing what he said in 2005 before Hurricane Katrina overwhelmed the levees and left 80 percent of the city flooded.

The fact that someone has asked a single question of Ray Nagin since his ham-fisted handling of the aftermath of levee failure when Katrina totally missed New Orleans, stuns me. Nagin is gold medalist in the Moron Olympics, why even talk to him?

More:
"This is a bust. A lot of people wouldn't have left if they know it was like this," said Dave Turnes, a 23-year-old cook, between sips of absinthe in the French Quarter.

Gee Dave, I am going to guess that 100% of people that know the outcome of any event ahead of time would make the right choice with their actions. Think how badly Las Vegas booking houses would do if Dave knew what the outcome of the Super Bowl would be. Just so you know, Einstein's long lost twin brother lives in New Orleans and his name is "Dave."

Even more:
"People will evacuate every time after Katrina," said a man who would only give his name as "Checkers," a balloon artist who lives above Zara's Grocery Store in the Lower Garden District.

Since Checkers obviously did not consult with Dave from his stated contrarian viewpoint, I am guessing that there is some kind of feuding going on in New Orleans between the major factions of the weather predicting community.

And finally:
"Even if the levees hold there is still going to be possible flooding," FEMA Director David Paulison said Monday aboard Air Force One with the president.

Asking NOT to be confused with "Dave," Director Paulison stated the most obvious thing that even Captain Obvious overlooked; in a city surrounded by a levee system, rainfall may cause POSSIBLE FLOODING when a hurricane comes ashore.

Are there absolutely no journalistic standards anymore?

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