Thursday, September 17, 2009

Math and Science of the Sissies (Updated!!!!)

UPDATE: There is a backlink at the bottom of this post that leads to a Spam Site. Seriously, if you do not believe me, click it and see.

All of us educated folks can be assured that we know the difference between right and wrong. This ideology was PROBABLY determined by our ancestors worshiping the Invisible Spaghetti Monster in the sky, but that is irrelevant to FUCKING MATH and SCIENCE.

I read Doug Mataconis's blog daily, because there are very few people on the innerblarqwebs that are more proficient at excoriating all sides equally. Doug's appears to be the perfect hate and I like it. BUT!

This post is one in a long line of posts that place FALSE ACCUSATIONS in the area of religious states (abstinence education) and the relationship of teenage birthrate.

First let's tackle the possibility of getting pregnant while practicing ABSTINENCE. Um, as far as I know, only once in the history of the world. Debate that all you want, but it is UNpossible for a woman to get pregnant without the Foam of Love™ jumping up in her. Whether by tubesteak or the shot needle, doesn't matter.

So, rather than saying that abstinence education is not working by pointing to birthrate, why not say it is not working by pointing to the fact that teens are having sex? We know that teachers are in the top three dumbest career categories, and never can be successful at anything they attempt. So, is it the teacher's fault, Hell to the Naw!

Another point to be pondered is that if you look at the teenage birthrate chart that Doug posted, you can make the case that the rate is higher in areas where MEN are FUCKING MEN. As far as I know, no man has EVER gotten pregnant by Heath Ledgering another dude. (Please do not link that chick that all the Barrystream Media said was a dude.)

The lower on the list you go, the higher the population of NANCY BOYS. NTTAWWT. So, the higher on the list that a state is, the more equal the ratio of 'normal' dudes to 'normal' chicks.

Consider this question is answered by a real man, that doesn't live in New Hampshire, which is now known as The Fairy State.

Please take the time to comment.

29 comments:

ChristinaJade said...

I wonder, do all those fact and figures and other stuff liberals hate include the entire teen PREGNANCY rate or just the BIRTH rate? In other words, are more teenage girls having babies in the higher ranking states because they are not having abortions?? Just asking...

paul mitchell said...

I tried to avoid the abortion angle, because abortion is wrong. I went the gay route because it works better.

ChristinaJade said...

Well yeah, but it does matter in the facts and figures (and other stuff liberals hate) as in, if they are saying that more religious states have a higher teen BIRTH rate, perhaps it is because their religion keeps them from having abortions. Observation. :)

And yeah, let's face it, metrosexual is just a fancy term for GHEY, and there aren't very many of those guys in West Kaintuckie.

paul mitchell said...

Christina, quit ignoring FACTS. More Religion = Less Gay.

ChristinaJade said...

More religion = less gay = less bad stuff in general.

FACT. :)

paul mitchell said...

CJ, as always I must say that I like men to be gay. As a matter of fact, I wish all the other men on the face of the planet were gay. Don't worry, I got this population thing covered and the future population is gonna be sexy as Hell, too.

Erik Grow said...

More religion = less bad stuff? Care to guess what the percentage of non-believers in jail is compared to the percentage of non-believers in the general population?

As for the abstinence or not thing, the purpose of school is to learn facts. You don't hold back certain facts because they don't fit your ideology. You're right that abstinence is completely effective at preventing pregnancy. Other methods are highly effective, but not foolproof. I don't have a problem with presenting any of the facts and figures on this, but once these kids are teens, they should know the facts, ALL of them, not specially selected ones that YOU *or* I might like better.

paul mitchell said...

Yes, Erik, there are few criminals that do not instantaneously become "Christians" to get out of jail. It is called "lying."

And remember Islam is NOT a religion, it is a death cult.

Seriously, when I was in school, we learned reproductive stuff in the seventh grade at first, the class was called "Health" and the anatomy classes got harder as we got older. Now, in fourth grade, my son was taught CONDOMS. That is simply fucktarded and the main reason that I put him in a private school during the school year.

But, you and I are on the same page here, there is certainly a lower birthrate in gay states.

Erik Grow said...

OK, so in their TEENS, should kids be taught ALL of the facts then? It sounds like we might actually agree that the answer is yes on this point!

paul mitchell said...

Erik, there is never any point for a school teacher to show a CHILD (someone under 18) how to place a condom on their meatsickle. That is simply sick. Just saying.

Skunkfeathers said...

I must have attended a school that taught basic education over touchy-feely social engineering. No teacher I had ever taught me how to Condom 101.

I did have one English teacher I would have learned the lesson with...RRrrrrowrrr...but I digress.

Abstinence works every time it's tried. 100% success rate.

ChristinaJade said...

The whole "religion in jail" thing doesn't really apply to the conversation at hand, unless we are talking about juvy. BUT. Since it was brought up, yes, I am sure that going to jail scares the hell out of a good percentage of folks and they turn to the Bible for answers to their problems. My opinion? That's a good thing.

More common are the "jailhouse religion" folks who think that saying they have been "born again" will help them when it comes time for a parole hearing or bond reduction. Not to mention the fact that hitting every Bible study and church service in da slammer will allow for more time out of the cell. I'm not saying ALL that participate are liars, but...check to see how many of those folks are still in church a year after being released. Just sayin'

Andy said...

New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, Alaska, Colorado all rank high in teen birth rate, and low in religiousness.

High populations of hispanics, and indians. It's a cultural thing.

The other states that rank high in birth rate are mostly southern...a mix of religious convictions, girls marrying younger, and mo' welfare.

I have experience in the jailhouse conversion deal. CJ is pretty close to right...plenty of time on one's hands does lead more introspection.

You'd be surprised how many of them stick. I would guess that the percentage is about the same as those not in prison that run to Jesus in times of extreme stress in their lives and then later fall back. I'm just saying...

paul mitchell said...

I think that we should all bow to CJ's expertise on what it is a really like in jail. I told her.

Andy said...

Man, she's a good sport ain't she? :)

ChristinaJade said...

Why yes, yes I am. :)

classicaliberal said...

I haven't looked at the chart, because I don't have to. I know what it says. Taylor, Imma let you finish, bu Islam marries off thier girls at the age of still in the womb. Therefore you have todlers being preggo. Any other nationality or religion is going to have trouble keeping up with the death cult when there are no age restrictions on the no pants dance.

Just saying.

classicaliberal said...

Maybe I shoulda looked at the chart... I assumed by state they meant country, and by any measurement, the most 'religious state' is going to be some fundamentalist middle eastern state like Saudi Arabia or Yemen.

Anonymous said...

I'm a fool. I read the post, and comments, and I am now stupider. Dang it.

"Abstinence works every time it's tried."

Sure, if in between abstinences you do no scrumping. The argument that abstinence is an idea that works is unassailable. Sadly, that idea is not effective when actual human beings are involved. IT isn't relevant whether teachers teach abstinence well or poorly; abstinence is already understood and 'teaching' it is just a cultural tactic for organizing a set of cultural and religious demands. Lots of young people abstain from sex for reasons that have nothing to do with the programs taught in school; in fact, school probably has a very small marginal impact on any rate of behavior relating to sex (except if you consider the way schools concentrate young people into what Tom Cruise memorably called a "target rich environment.") Until idiots like this blogger and his sycophantic commentariat disconnect their foaming religiosity from the figures they want to finger, they'll always be leaping from rationalization to rationalization, so little hope there. Fact is that teens are meat robots hardwired to mate; ignorance of the mechanics does more harm than good on the specifics, and damages the very idea of learning something; abstinence education is a corruption of a society's responsibility to its children. In other words, until you stop enjoying all the titillating periphery of your sex-charged culture, and profiting from it too, and thinking its funny to call your dick a meatsickle, you have no credibility as an advocate for how society should manage its young people.

A colleague of mine put it well: there is no such thing as abstinence, really; there's getting caught, and there's getting lucky.

distrif

paul mitchell said...

ditrif, I am sorry that you do not understand the post. I'll try to explain it in a way that you can understand. If you teach YOUR children that giving the best of themselves to someone BEFORE they are emotionally capable of understanding and realizing the gravity of what they are doing, they cheapen their entire lives.

This is NOT a religious perspective of mine, it is one of being able to connect with one person and give to them the most important part of yourself.

I am sorry that reading makes you dumber, but I find that hard to believe. Anyhoo, you must read an awful lot.

classicaliberal said...

ZING!

classicaliberal said...

I don't think that there is any more clear distinguisher between liberal philosophy relating to the raising of kids, and personal behavior versus the conservative view on same.

We practice and teach our kids self control over their urges and desires. You believe that, "teens are meat robots hardwired to mate," however, I would argue that teens are humans during a transitional period where their hormonal urges temporarily out weigh a humans ability to thoughtfully and rationally choose between one outcome and another. Before puberty, children have the ability to choose between one outcome and another (albeit they are learning the consequences of each outcome and do not always choose what is right) and on the other side, adults have the ability to choose one outcome over another, siding with reason most often.

Just because one is predisposed to choose a certain behavior over another does not implicitly make the chosen behavior correct, and therefore as legal guardians, we should not 'give up the battle' and leave them subject to their desires.

With exceptions on both sides, conservatives raise their children to practice self-control and use rationale in selecting an outcome, whereas the view of the left appears to be, if it feels good (and you wont get caught), what the f*ck? Go for it!

paul mitchell said...

CL posted his comment while he dry-humped the air surrounding his prepubescent body.

classicaliberal said...

I think we're the only ones here.


HELLOooo???

Yup nobody here. It's a shame Imma hafta kick your ass with no one around to see.

paul mitchell said...

CL, did you see the very last Rocky movie? BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA.

classicaliberal said...

Judy-chop!

ChristinaJade said...

Boys, go stand in the corner.

classicaliberal said...

I don't think that there is any more clear distinguisher between liberal philosophy relating to the raising of kids, and personal behavior versus the conservative view on same.

We practice and teach our kids self control over their urges and desires. You believe that, "teens are meat robots hardwired to mate," however, I would argue that teens are humans during a transitional period where their hormonal urges temporarily out weigh a humans ability to thoughtfully and rationally choose between one outcome and another. Before puberty, children have the ability to choose between one outcome and another (albeit they are learning the consequences of each outcome and do not always choose what is right) and on the other side, adults have the ability to choose one outcome over another, siding with reason most often.

Just because one is predisposed to choose a certain behavior over another does not implicitly make the chosen behavior correct, and therefore as legal guardians, we should not 'give up the battle' and leave them subject to their desires.

With exceptions on both sides, conservatives raise their children to practice self-control and use rationale in selecting an outcome, whereas the view of the left appears to be, if it feels good (and you wont get caught), what the f*ck? Go for it!

paul mitchell said...

CL, did you see the very last Rocky movie? BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA.

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