Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Technology Update - iPad v. Charcoal and a Piece of Newsprint

I pull no punches with my utter disdain for everything MacApple, so I was very surprised when one of my friends asked me to tell them why they should not buy an iPad.

You see, MacApple provides NOTHING to benefit society in general and has no qualms about producing things that reduce productivity. Do you own an iPhone? Why does it fail to make phone calls when you know for a fact that you are in an area where there are plenty of cell towers? Because it is a piece of shit.

You know why you bought it? Because it is the Izod of the new millennium. The iPhone (and subsequently, the iPad) are quite possibly going to produce the downfall of society. These two devices shall make dialogue utterly impossible, but you will be able to update your FAILbook and MySpace pages with them. Ignore the fact that no one reads the crap that you write, just like no one reads the crap that I write.

And do you know what an iPad IS? A big iPhone that cannot make calls, so that makes it exactly like an iPhone, only BIGGER.

MacApple and MacApple users, get over yourself, you are the Bubonic Plague that shall remove conversation from the planet. Oh, and open up the floodgates of the stupid emo punks that do not need more exposure.

As long as we are discussing technology, there are some new features with G-Mail. Use them.

And if you are looking for a phone or a handheld device that might be worth a crap, there is another Android phone hitting the market on April 29th. One can only HOPE that there is a way to keep iPhones from calling those of us that do not have a POS in our pocket.

Oh, and buy you some Tivo, too.

Get free shipping on a new TiVo Premiere or Premiere XL

Please take the time to comment or click one of the 'Share/Save' buttons.

Image stolen from HERE.

7 comments:

Mark "Rizzn" Hopkins said...

Long time listener, first time caller (thank Wendy).

Just gotta say: love it (the post, not the iPad).

Andy said...

I read the crap you write.

Just sayin'...

I don't have a cellular telephone. I don't think they're gonna catch on. But my brother-in-law has one of those ITelephones...it seems that he uses it to do The Facebook junk (which Pam has hijacked my The Facebook account which I should have deleted way long ago but only reactivated it so she could find somebody she was looking for but didn't want to contact said somebody and now my e-mail box is filled with junk that I have no idea who it's coming from and I've told her that she needs to get her own The Facebook account and g-mail address before she does and she says she will).

Seriously. Pam and I were driving down Waller Street today. We were going to cut the grass for our old "widdow lady." There was a guy mowing grass...pushing his mower with his right hand, and had his cellular telephone up to his left ear talking to somebody.

I told Pam, "Now, that is ONE important dude!" She said, "How can he possibly hear who he's talking to?" Then we both laughed! (knowing that he probably couldn't, and he was taking a good walk spoiled)

I'll bet Basil will love you for this one, Two Dogs.

paul mitchell said...

"Rizzn," I assume you need your PHONE to place PHONE calls? Thanks for the comment. I certainly do thank my pimp, too!

Andy, I could not function without my cellphone, so I could never purchase an iPhone, I need to be able to place and receive calls. And I know that grass mowing guy wasn't talking to anyone. I can barely hear my phone while I am in the house and Dewayne is cutting my grass.

Skunkfeathers said...

Don't have a cellphone. Ain't gonna git one. Don't have an iphone. Ain't gonna git one.

My land line serves fine, until, like in The Martian Chronicles, I and only one other person are left on this friggin' planet with a hardwired land line. Then, I'll get a gawddamned CB. iphone phffft, ptui, ack phooey, foofoo crapola...

Lisa G in NZ said...

my husband got a free iPhone from his work...

the games keep him occupied....

*sigh*

paul mitchell said...

Skunks, I would think that a smartphone, NOT an iPhone, would be beneficial to your storm-chasing activities.

Lisa, sometimes I just do not understand you chicks. Do y'all not know by now that it takes very little for y'all to completely gain our attention? Games? Feh.

Lisa G in NZ said...

Yes, I know Paul... but when I prance around the house scantily clad ... I get a "hold on, I'm just trying to get to the next level of (insert game name)... be with you in a few minutes..."

I don't understand you gaming blokes I guess... ;-)

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