Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Sorry folks, I know it's my fault

Having given up pretty much on political blogging over the past year, I single-handedly gave the Congress to the Dumbasses (D). I am here to apologize and beg forgiveness for allowing those "people" to take more of your money, but it had to be done. The Conservative movement cooked up in Newt's garage has become the exact opposite of what conservatism is or should be.

Rule One: Government blows. It's a necessary evil, but I have yet to figure out what the necessity is. Trust me, I'm looking.

Rule Two: Production, profit, and income are killed by taxes. And oddly enough, those three traits are what makes Capitalism work. And yes, Capitalism is the ONLY form of economy that does work. History is a good indicator. Show me those profitable Socialist countries and I'll eats yo' draws.

Rule Three: A minimum wage increase is followed by higher unemployment and decreased wealth. I have great graphics to show that this happens every single time, but obviously y'all are too stupid to understand that. Y'all voted for the Dims.

Rule Four: George W. Bush is NOT a conservative. A President that signs every single spending bill obviously wants to spend MY DAMN MONEY ON CRAP! (Yes, I voted for him both damn times, because there was no other choice. I actually voted for Alan Keyes in the first primary seven years ago, so there.)

Rule Five: Our education system is broken. And yes, it's BECAUSE of Brown v. Board of Education and the culture of "self-esteem." I will prove that really damn soon in honor of the Dr. King vacation day.

Rule Six: Everyone is born equal, some just choose to give that up. Look around, you ARE better than some people. If you need more background on this, e-mail me. I'll straighten it out for you, Moonbeam. (But, in my case, I'm better than every person.)

Rule Seven: Healthcare should be controlled by the individuals rather than the government. There are NO F***ING examples of any nationalized healthcare successes anywhere on the planet. Please are you that damn dense? You are? Damn.

Rule Eight: If you want my gun(s), come get it. You will be sorry. And my gun(s) miraculously kill people when I am not around. I think that is a good thing.

Rule Nine: I go to church. If you don't, that just means there will be more room on the driving range in Heaven for me. I hate it for you, but it's your choice AND mine.

Rule Ten: The War on Islam is one that needs to be fought. Yes, the terrorists are Muslim. Accept it and move on. If you are Muslim and think that killing innocent people is bad, then speak up. What, are you afraid of being killed? Well, you made the decision to enter the family with the understanding that you would never get out. So sorry for you and your family.

There's ten statements that I needed to make. Make yours in the comments if you want to add to the list.

And, uh, Peace.

UPDATE: Rules Eleven through One Thousand are Teddy Kennedy is a moron and so is anyone that votes for him.