Monday, April 14, 2008

Billy Ray Cyrus is my MORTAL Enemy

Never, in my lifetime, has something existed that has been more clear. Billy Ray Cyrus must be stopped at all costs. Nuclear warheads should not be spared to end the reign of terror that this man has shat upon an unsuspecting and innocent populace.

"What the Hell, Two Dogs?"

Oh, yeah, he spawned and from the gates of Hell, sprung forth fully formed, the daughter that would lead the toothless inbred hillbillies into a mouth-frothing frenzy. Yes, I am speaking of Billy's no-talent, moronic, mud-fence ugly daughter, Destiny Hope Cyrus, better known as "Miley." She comes by "Miley" because as a child, which she still is, I might add, she SMILED a bunch. Oh. My. Lord. Take. My. Life. Now.

Carley sent to me this video because she noticed on Saturday that I was enjoying simple living too much. She determined that since she and Chris had been subjected to unspeakable mind torture, that my happiness must be stopped. It has been.

My happiness was stopped in the same vein as someone enjoying bungee-jumping with a one hundred twenty foot bungee over an open gorge and getting the entire length of the bungee tangled menacingly around his inner thigh, just at the base of his hip. While being jerked quite frankly by the johnson straight back up to the heights of the descent, the whole while screaming at the top of his lungs and anticipating the next round of brutal snatches at his man-package. Only to cruelly be repeated again, again, again. Unconsciousness never achieved.

And to add insult to injury, this demon-child's Wikipedia page is longer than the one for Theodore Roosevelt. This fifteen year old dingbat has more references than the most interesting President of the United States. Amazing.

I banish you to Hell with me. And if you want to see the future of our country, read the comments on the You Tube page. Stunning.

A brain brush is necessary.