Saturday, May 03, 2008

Humor is Difficult for Elitist Bigots

There are those that pen blogs that I very much enjoy reading. I tend to migrate towards the ones that incorporate humor into serious topics because as all good Facebook and MySpace devoted fans, "I love life and I love to laugh." That said, lowbrow humor that insults the people from a particular area simply because they live there, pisses me off no end. You probably wouldn't like me when I am angry.

Yes, there are times that potty-mouth stuff sends me into fits of hysterics, but those are rare. I am the single most immature person that I know, too.

Anyhoo, there was yet another person on one of my daily reads that took a potshot at the intelligence of folks from Mississippi for the elitist humor value. I figured that I could help those of y'all out that have never lived here by explaining the state of our state and the stigma placed on the smarts of those of us who live here.

Just so you know that I speak from experience, I have lived in Mississippi for close to forty-four years minus six months that I lived in Florida. I have traveled to about twenty countries and have been in forty-six of our great states. There is nowhere on Earth that I would rather be than Mississippi. Our people are great, we proved that after Hurricane Katrina completely missed New Orleans and pounded our state no end. Rich, poor, black, white, brown, and yellow pulled together and started working to get our friends, family, and neighbors back up and running. The whole time, the entire country focused on New Orleans and a bunch of whiney-crybabies that haven't got the sense to pour piss out of a boot with the instructions on the bottom. (See what you made me do? I insulted the intelligence of a whole city! Gnutcase, not withstanding, of course.)

Also, I have been formally tested to measure my intelligence at least six times. I have never scored below an equivalent of about 140 on any IQ test. Let's just assume that I possess above average intelligence by those standards. But, also assume that I am your typical Mississippian, because I am, and thoroughly enjoy being around those that have the same pride in our state. Yes, there are morons here, but for the most part, they are few and far between. (Oddly enough, the Presidential primaries here, showed me that those morons mostly stay in hiding until one of their own is on the ballot. Obama got about three times more votes in our primary than had ever cast a vote in a general in the past.)

Here's why we have the stigma of stupidity firmly entrenched on our Mississippi population. Our state has always been run by Democrats. We have a history of racism because of the inherent racism that IS the Democrat Party. For the most part, Democrats possess intelligence bordering on retarded. Just look at their heroes and you will see the cross-section of the assumptions of why Mississippians are so stupid, it is because we have always had the Democrats representing us nationally.

I am not partisan in my ire directed toward anyone that badmouths my state. I have placed a bounty on the head of none other than Joe Scarborough for the "Redneck Riviera" comments after Katrina. Yes, I am going to beat his ass when I see him. Think "Spider Monkey."

To continue this rant, since Captain Kirk was elected, our state has moved further and further toward a conservative mentality and has benefited greatly from than shift. We did backslide for four years after Fordice when Ronnie Musgrove was elected governor, but with Haley Barbour beating the ever-loving crap out of Ronnie Musgrove in the 2003 governor's race, we resumed that trend. Now, we have for the most part, a Republican controlled State Senate, but a Democrat controlled House. Guess which part of our legislature creates all of the problems and presents the dumbest shit as proposals that you have ever seen?

Out of the fifty states, guess which one was the first to operate with a surplus of funds? Yep, you got it right. While the states of the wrongly stigmatized intelligence, New York and California are teetering on the verge of bankruptcy because of their complete misunderstanding of economics, those dumb hicks in Mississippi are running a fiscally responsible bank account. Governor Kirk Fordice made this happen in less than eight years. It only took DEMOCRAT Ronnie Musgrove two years to completely gut that surplus and return to the typical Democrat way of doing business with charging all kinds of things and paying for it later by increasing taxes on those of us who work.

REPUBLICAN Haley Barbour has had a little difficulty getting back to that surplus until the Senate was taken over by Republicans, but has cut the DEMOCRAT Musgrove's deficit in half already.

So, if we do have that stigma of being dumbasses, look around the country and find the areas that are slaving under Democrat control and they must be included in the "Stupid Column." Let's start the idiot list with Illinois.

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