Sunday, June 29, 2008

Our Side does Stupid Stuff, Too!

Below you will find a campaign ad for Texas Senator, John Cornyn. I simply must say, that he is probably as close to my kind of politician as can be found anywhere.

That said, oh my goodness, what in the Hell were his staff members thinking when they put together this video? "Hey, Hank, I haven't seen an ad that is attractive to me since those Jesse James 'wanted posters' came out. Let's do something like that!"

While the song was originally recorded in 1961 by Jimmy Dean as "Big Bad John," you are probably much more aware of the remake. Here are the lyrics to "Big SWEET John" by Sheb Wooley, as his alter-ego "Ben Colder."

He arrived every morning at the beauty shop
In his pink sports car with his chartruse top
Kinda narrow at the shoulder and wide in the rear
Everybody knew there was somethin' kinda queer about John
(Big John Big John) Big Sweet John

He wore pink pedalpushers and nylon hose
And purple wedgies with open toes
He drank his milk from a dirty ole glass
Everybody knowed you didn't give no sass to Big John

Somebody said he came from out in LA
Where he got in some trouble and he had to run away
A smashin' blow from his mighty purse
Put a California feller in the back of a hearse big John did
(Big John Big John) Big Sweet John (Big John)

Then came the day back in forty four
When John said boys I'm off to the war
I'll join the WACs we'll serve Aunt Sam
But John couldn't pass the physical exam

All the girls at the beauty salon
Said there's one good thing about Big Sweet John
Whether it was Pat or Bruce or Mike
He never met a man that he didn't like
(Big John Big John) Big Sweet John

Big John turned hippie out in LA
Where everybody knew he was really gay
He just looked at them with that big ole grin
Said I'll see you next week at the love-in
(Big John Big John) Big Sweet John (Big John)

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