Thank goodness that the Barn went ahead and folded up like a cheap lawn chair last night, they saved me from losing yet ANOTHER SEC pick. All together now, "Thanks Barn!"
For those that do not understand the vastness of my wrongness in picking SEC games, I went 0-5 last weekend and only got ONE over/under. Folks that is damn near impossible to do.
This shall be quick and painless, only six picks for me to botch. Remember, I pick the contrarian ideals, and usually lose, so if you are placing money on these games, the best thing for you to do is to bet the EXACT OPPOSITE of who I pick and it's basically just guaranteed money in the bank, baby!
Who ya' got?
Oh, good Lord! These games are impossible to pick. At least for me, obviously.
The Kentucky Hillbillies (+25.5 O/U 49) at The Gate. My first inclination is to assume that the 'Cats suck and that Florida is awesome. But, that is a huge spread for an SEC match-up and the 'Cats are not supposed to be the 'Cats of old. But, the Gates clobbered the Geaux Tigers and the Geaux Tigers are favored over UGA this weekend. Dang, dang, dang. The Gates and the over.
Flouncing Fairies of Duke (+10.5 O/U 40.5) at the 'Bilt. Holy shit, Duke has a footbaw team? No way! Dang, they have won three games this year, too! That makes three wins in thirty seven years! Take the Vanderbilt Creepies and the over.
UGA (+1.5 O/U 48.5) at the Geaux Tigers. Weird, why is LSU favored by Vegas? The Geaux Tigers defy all contrarian betting in the world. LSU is 6-0 against top tens. Aw, Hell, I'm going with my heart here. UGA and the over. Richt, do you think that maybe you could try to run the score up a little? You kinda need to do that, you know.
Ole Miss Racists at Da Razorhogs (+6.5 O/U 54) Why this game is even to be played is beyond my comprehension. Two more racist teams do not exist outside of the SWAC. Bunch of damn haters, they are. Take Ole Miss and the under. When I picked Ole Miss, I virtually ensured that the Razorhogs wouldn't score that much.
Middle Tennessee State (+10 O/U 40.5) at We Suck. This game is more ridiculously stupid that the Ole Miss game. But, according to the Four Letter, this game is a 3.5 out of 5 star game. I honestly think that We Suck will get up for this game and bring out all the guns. Ha! I almost hurt myself laughing at that one. Still, We Suck and the over. Sylvester Croom is an awesome coach and has done wonders with the We Suck Bulldogs, fans should worship him.
Bammeroids at Rocky Top (+5 O/U 41). Undefeated Bammer against the hapless Vols. Does this smell like SEC upset to anyone else? The thing that I have figgered out is that We Suck is destined to beat Bammer. That is the Bammer killah on the year. Can Bammer lose two games this year? Yes, but isn't that second loss supposed to be the Barn? Shit, hell, damn. Bammer and the over, folks. Dunno why, I just F-E-E-L this one.
And the duck pick of the week, Division IV, Number Ten uSCCC at the Arizona Mildcats (+15 O/U 54). With uSCCC coming off a BYE against Washington State, and Arizona coming off a BYE against Cal, both teams should be well rested. Then again, any time you play a PAC-10 team, you can play your eighth string, still win, and never get winded. uSCCC and the over, even though I hope that the Mildcats pull this one off. No one wants the pitiful Trojans to even be higher than the number ten ranking that they have now. It would be terrible if uSCCC keeps a legitimate team from having a bowl appearance.
Let the bludgeoning begin!
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