Friday, February 13, 2009

Blackuary 13, 0001 AB - Friday the Thirteenth

On this very day in Blackuary history, the most prolific blogger with a header background of #FF4500, with site content that has absolutely ZERO posts about black history on Blackuary thirteenth, sits on his front porch watching the rain fall.

I like the fat neck look, how about you? Please understand that I am currently 22% body fat and tip the scales at a whopping 164 pounds, so that is completely photoshopped.

I have never posted anything about Blackuary History on the 13th because I have never found evidence that black folks ever accomplished anything spectacular on the 13th...UNTIL TODAY.

On this day, Blackuary 13, 36 BB, the patent was granted to Gertrude E. Downing and William P. Desjardin for their OUTSTANDING work to help those black folks that cannot rise above the position of janitor. Yes, I AM MOST DEFINITELY talking about the Reciprocating Corner and Baseboard Cleaning Auxiliary Attachment for Rotary Floor Treatment Machines.

And up until now, you just thought that all black folks took the damn day off, didn't you? Stupid hillbilly.

Dumpy Stuff:

Dang, a song dedicated to the Moron President? Who has EVAH done that? (Yes, I have been keeping a running .txt file of all the Obama videos of dumbasses singing. So far I have FORTY-EIGHT different titles, that does NOT include "That's Why Obama was Born.")

If you thought that the PETA "Sea Kitten" campaign was asinine, you fail to give the Moonbats enough stupidity cred. Try this toy gun ban insanity. It is somewhat violent, be warned. Seriously, the folks that make this crap are actually within arm's reach of your children if they attend public school. Yes, EVEN in Mississippi.

I can honestly say that the only reality program that I have ever had the misfortune to watch is the one where there was a really fat nekkid guy on an island with a bunch of morons that ate stupid shit. This one is even dumber than that one was, but I was shocked that THIS guy playing the hillbilly did not BEAT THAT ASS when he met the nancy-boy from Fairy Old England. Folks, if y'all think that actually happened, you have never been to Missouri before. Yes, there are plenty of people that do live like those portrayed and that is awesome, but there exists NO MAN in Missouri that would not have ripped Brit-Guy's head off and shit down his neck. Not even for a lot of money could they could have kept him from doing it.

(Just a note on the above "reality show." The fact that those hillfolk do not combine their two favorite activities, four wheeler riding and paint-balling, does lend credibility to the fact that they ain't too smart. That is certainly a sport that I would kin to. And back when Little Dogs was about three, a buddy and I would load the our boys on the THREE wheelers and play chase in the dark. Sans headlights. I never once had to get stitches, either.)

Remember that Newsweek "socialists" cover? Hillbillies have modified it.

How do douchebags in Nancy Pelosi's turdville react toward businesses moving in? NOT NICELY, IF THEY EMPLOY POOR PEOPLE! Do you know NOW how Nancy gets elected? She is the pinnacle of intelligence in the area. Meaning, she's smart enough to get paid to stay out.

I do hope that you are aware that about four thousand people are reading the Welfare for Welfare Bill right now to try to find out what is contained in the text. Oddly enough, the Democrats that penned the legislation published it in .pdf format as images instead of text. Do you wonder why? Because it makes it IMPOSSIBLE to search. It must be read in its entirety, page by page. TRANSPARENCY!

EVEN MCCLATCHY DOESN'T BUY the Welfare for Welfare Ideology of the Stupidity Bill.
Dude, when you get to that point, you cannot even sell the idea to fetuses. Seriously.

Obama lies about jobs at Caterpillar. Wonder why he would all of the sudden renounce his Messiah status to perpetrate a LIE? Well, since we all know that Barry is perfect, the way that all Messiahs should be, why would the CEO of Caterpillar LIE?

Senator Diane Feinstein (Dumbass-Calimoronia) announces reveals the location of the airstrip in POCK-i-STAHN where our drones are launched. The fact that Feinstein is CHAIRMAN OF THE SENATE INTELLIGENCE COMMITTEE is the biggest oxymoron to date. In the history of the world.

The most transparent administration EVAH actually pre-approves the questions from select members of the press. How did this criminal get elected? It is stunning to me that Barry has YET to be tarred and feathered. I would do it myself, but that would involve me having to actually go back to DC, something that I swore that I would never do as long as I live. Yes, if y'all ever screw up bad enough and elect me president, the Capitol shall be moved to Armpit, Mississippi. (Granted, Armpit is only ten frohillion to the ten frohillionth power better than DC. And a frohillion is only marginally smaller than a stimulus.)

The Obamoron Admoronistration has already completed the language to be contained in our surrender to Russia. Thank goodness.

Steve B completely ridicules the entire black race and the titular head of the Moronosphere. He done rite guud.

Do not forget, tomorrow is Balemtimes Day. Run out to Walgreens and get your sweetie something stupid.

Please take the time to comment.

Why didn't anyone tell me there was a TYPO?