Thursday, July 09, 2009

Let the Profit Taking Commence

Today we launch the MONEY MAKING POWAH of this lower-edge of mediocrity blorg. Our "Beer and Skittles Fund" is located on the right sidebar just below the FAILBOAT staff. We are going to pithy that BaSF section up a tad in coming days. Money is the ONLY reason for living, you know? But, please do understand we shall not be pimping anything that we do not regularly use and even though we drink whiskey in lieu of water and watch pr0n in lieu of reading, there shall never be any of those ads.

All that said, our first sponsor and big financial backer, is none other than BLITZ CORNER, a sports aggreGATOR with news, rumor, and crazy shit about LSU uniforms. Even if they were not paying in excess of ONE MILLION dollars a month, I would still read the site. You should too.

Consider me sufficiently WHORED out for the day.

On to the fashion portion of today's program.

While it is expressly forbidden to attack the children of any politician, except for George W. Bush, something must be said about Barry and Arms' oldest spawn, Malia. When you allow your adolescent daughter to be seen in public wearing something that is utterly idiotarian, that ignores science, mocks religion, and generally is MOONBAT wear, it must be noted. Good Lord, do they not know that nuclear power has experienced a LITTLE PROGRESS since 1959? You might as well drag your rug runner to an ABORTION RALLY if you want to look this stupid.

Not only did they allow her to wear that last one, they allowed her to wear yet another. And G_d only knows what Arms Obama is doing in that second photo, but I shall never say what she looks like. EVAR. That's RACIST! Dammit, that is one FUGLY woman.

Can someone PUH-LEEEZE tell me why a person even needs a six thousand dollar purse? Are you going to carry diamonds and precious gems around in it? Former SLAVE OWNERS piss me off no end, y'all. By the way, who do you believe in a contest between the designer of something and the Obamas? Who do you believe between a steaming hot cow turd and the Obamas?

You know, since Barry even LIES about where he met his DAMN MUD FENCE wife? And guess what? Everyone is coming to realize that Barry is a really bad guy and dumb as his philosophical brethren. 'Bout time, folks. Only four years too late.


Do we even want to dip into fisking the news today? Shit, I certainly do not, but I must persevere.

Condom distribution, to kids, DOES NOT WORK to reduce pregnancies! Who knew? Can we please try some sensible methods of teaching? Just ONE SUCH METHOD would make me ecstatic, just ONE. Teachers are some of the dumbest people in the world.

SEA ICE!!!! GONE!!!!! AL GORE WAS RIGHT!!!!! Wait, back up, reverse that. He could not have been more wrong. Well, he could have been on something else, but not on Global Warming.

Remember that T. Boone Pickens plan that I told you folks not to fall for? Guess who else did not fall for it? Yep, T. Boone Pickens in the end. Can someone please tell me that I am smarter than T. Boone Pickens? It's MY BIRTHDAY!

May I be the first to thank Sarah Palin for killing Michael Jackson? Thanks, Sarah! Call me! Ask anyone, I am a really nice guy! (With Al Sharpton pr0n!)

Since I am rapidly coming to the end of today's show, let's briefly touch on the recovery of the economy! Since Barry's plan is kicking ASS! The market is up today almost a WHOLE HALF of a point! Woo Hoo!

RSM did NOT just "Told you so."

Money, wealth, jobby-job pichurs.

National real estate prices continue to fall. (With a sneaky nutpunch to Jim Cramer. By the way, 6038 of 12 real economists HATE, HATE, HATE Jim Cramer. THAT'S MATH!)

C-Nut piles on Goldman.

And in the Thirty Second Round-up of the program, see if you can tell what makes me laugh in these posts.

DANG! That is one tough Love Purse, Darling!

Excuse me, but I am somewhat uncomfortable interviewing you, Mr. Jackson.

"Double down in the Death Pool, folks," so says The Mayor.

Please take the time to comment.


ChristinaJade said...

Yeah, these make me TIRED! Lotsa tabs open on the Mac...

Making LOTSA DOLLARS is a good thing! YAY!

As for the purse, just remember, it is ONLY worth a tad less than $900.00. That is SO MUCH more acceptable for a bag without a strap, even. Gheesh.

classicaliberal said...

The only way a purse should be worth $900 is if it has a tag huer watch, a 400GB iPhone 3GS in it, and about $900.00 in cold hard cash... I'm just sayin.

Paul Mitchell said...

And can give a helluva blowjob and pay the check for your filet.

ChristinaJade said...

I would say something about all the teeth attached to the person carrying that $900 purse - but I won't.

Wait, I kinda just did. heh

paul mitchell said...

And can give a helluva blowjob and pay the check for your filet.

christinajade said...

I would say something about all the teeth attached to the person carrying that $900 purse - but I won't.

Wait, I kinda just did. heh