Sunday, August 16, 2009

Twittah for the Smile Nazi

Since obviously, I am THE MOST powerful user of Twittah in the entire city of Jack-troit, it must fall on my exceedingly broad shoulders to give everyone the reason that I enjoy and use the service.

*Click the image to the left to see how IMPORTANT I am. The Clarion Ledger is the NUMBER ONE NEWS SOURCE? R-I-G-H-T.*

Ultimately I am first and foremost a blogger and I need traffic to increase the conversation on this here thingy. Anything that I can do to drive more folks here to talk the better, and I originally started my Twittah account for that purpose. You also have to know that I ditched my blogger pseudonym after opening the Twittah, so I have enlarged the target on my back one thousand fold and that is somewhat unnerving. I was all too aware that was going to happen, too.

Feh, I have been shot at, no big deal. The powder burns ruined my jacket though.

As far as someone that is using Twittah as a personal communication device, certainly I would protect my Tweets. That is easily done on the very bottom of the "Settings" page of your Twittah account. In case you were unaware, there are some twisted folks on the Worldwide Computer*. Attractive females, ONLY add someone you know completely and totally. Ugly women, add whomever, they will realize that you are not HAWT and never bother you anyway. Well, unless they are so twisted as to be into that sick kinda thing. That is why prisons exist. **
Sidebar: If you really want to know how exposed you are to the world, check out, you would be shocked to see how NEKKID you really are. With my name, I am completely obscured by the hair products company, but still....

It was asked how Twittah differs from text-messaging and the answer that I have is that texting is a personal message to a chosen recipient. Twittah is BULK MAIL. I always have trouble figuring out if I am supposed to respond to a declarative sentence in a text.

For instance: "Dammit, there is a long line here at Lowes."

My first reaction to that is "Yeah, well, why would I even care? I am NOT at Lowes." The additionally unspoken part of that exchange is me exclaiming loudly, "I hope you die in a fire while drowning for sending me that useless, boring crap. I'm IMPORTANT!"

When that message is sent through Twittah, it is NOT rude to ignore it. Let's be honest, 98% of the text messages that you send are very unimportant and I am busy being important.

One more thing. Since our military is currently ramping up efforts to restrict social networking, Twittah is close to the only service they can use. I am pretty sure that shall become a thing of the past pretty quickly, too. But, currently, the guys and gals over there can text to Twittah and get it posted. Maybe that will let you communicate a little better. Been there, done that, and HATED not being able to snatch up the phone on a whim to talk to my dimepiece.

Oh, and you might want to NOT use your real name on Twittah unless you are suicidal. Just saying.

Please take the time to comment.

* Terminology stolen with no qualms from Andy.
** Ugly women, no offense, you do have a lovely personality and that IS important to other ugly people.


classicaliberal said...

Luckily, there is only 1 reference to the real me on Don't know what I did to pull that off. Guess I'm not the e-attention seeking whores those who share my birthname are. GO ME! Oh, wait-- I'm trying to get a blog off the ground. DAMN IT!

ChristinaJade said...

Welcome back to the NUMBER ONE CLUB! *pops party popper*

Yeah, ok, that 123people thingy is a bit scary, thank you VERY MUCH for making me nervous on a lovely Sunday afternoon in da hood. Thing is, the creepy stuff on me came up in one of the ADS.

Feh, the phone number was wrong, tho.


Andy said...

I think I told you about what I found on 123people...but for others who may care.

My telephone number, and my dedicated fax line are correct. What is spooky is that the telephone is not even in my name...long story as to why...but it knows!

There are public records on me in every city and town that I have lived (5 different municipalities), and also in a city where I once owned a stinkin' Arkansas...I didn't even know Arkansas had public records.

Maybe they just keep records on them furners!

Skunkfeathers said...

The nice thing about 123people is, there's so many with my name -- including that useless yutz who made the shitty movie that Parker and Stone parodied in Team America World Police -- I only get occasional calls from ugly wimmin that want to star in his next incredibly STUPID movie, whaddevah it may be.

I still don't TWITTAH...nevah have, nevah will.

Skunkfeathers said...

Aftah a soich on 123, I did find me...well down the list behind the more famous slacker that stole my name, and a crapload of others.

They can move me to da bottom of da list ;)

Paul Mitchell said...

Andy, Arkansas records keeping has got to be bad, on the state website, Fulbright is still the Senator. Didn't he die in 1970?

Skunks, I am nowhere to be found on the search. The bad thing is I am kinda disappointed. This makes me STUPID.

Skunkfeathers said...

Paul...nawp. It makes you SARCASTIC ;)