Sunday, December 13, 2009

Nick Saban IS Better Than Burr Bryant (See Note 1 at Bottom)

In an all out effort to drive much traffic to a Sunday post, I am throwing down the gauntlet and picking on Bammeroids because they are easy to pick on.

(Please ignore the FACT that if a team goes undefeated in the SEC and THEN wins the SEC Championship game, there is no reason to even have a BCS Championship Game, it is irrelevant. And ignore the FACT that Bammeroids are NOT the most obnoxious fans even in the SEC, they are actually THIRD in obnoxiousness, despite what [Dead] Tommy 5 wants you to believe.)

History of Da Burr: Burr was BORN IN ARKANSAS and won an Arkansas high school footbaw championship as a player. He also played on the Bammeroid 1934 Championship team. Blah, blah blah......

Corching: He won 6 national championships, 13 conference championships in 25 years at Bammer. Burr also added another SEC Championship in 1950 at KENTUCKY!!! That Kentucky team beat Oklahoma in the Sugar Bowl. He also had a Heisman winner, John David Crow, at Tejas Agricultural and Mechanical University, but never at Bammer. Burr also won a Southwest Conference Championship at A&M. Burr's winning percentage for thirty-six years hovered around 74%. *Yawn* (See Note 2)

Da Sabear: Nickie-Poo corched at Michigan and Toledo before getting into college footbaw corching. Some of you shall say that DANGED! Nick corched at Michigan, y'all must not know much about footbaw. That team is in the Big 10(11) and they have always sucked, so they do not count.

Nick really started corching in 1999 at Geaux Tigers. He won two SEC Championships and one national championship. He got out of footbaw in December 2004 to go be the warden at some limited capacity prison in Miami for two years and then came to Bammer in 2007. He went undefeated in regular season play in his second and third seasons there.

In case you were not watching college footbaw this year, Sabear also led the Bammeroids to an SEC Championship over Da Undefeated Gates and Circumcision Jesus. To add to this insult to Burr Bryant, Sabear also delivered Bammer's FIRST Heisman winner.

Sabear, seven years corching, probably his second national championship, three SEC Championships, and a Heisman winnah.

Burr Bryant, thirty-six years corching, six national championships, and fourteen SEC Championships, one Heisman winnah.


Anyhoo, Stacy McCain is whoring himself out for money to go to Pasadena to see the Bammeroids play in the national championship game. Go hepp him out.

If I am not mistaken, the place that Bammer is playing in Pasadena is the same place they have the junior college games for uSCCC and the junior college championship game between the PAC-10 and the BIG 10(11).

And No Sheeples Here is making no qualms at all about going to Pasadena with The Other McCain. And blatant Burr Bryant ass-kissing is involved, too.

Please take the time to comment.

Note 1: Yes, I am aware that this is blasphemy to Bammeroids, who cares? They went undefeated in the SEC, won the SEC Championship, a Bammer player FINALLY won a Heisman, and they are going to the Ridiculous Bowl, too.

Note 2: Burr had an offer to corch at the University of Arkansas, but turned it down to join the military after Pearl Harbor's bombing. For this act alone, Burr Bryant punks out the Sabear as the greatest corch evah at Bammer, until someone else offers up their life and livelihood instead of corching. Not even close.


Andy said...

Who are the two most obnoxious?

Hey man, my Daddy played high school ball against John David Crow.

And, it made me smile to see Ingram win the trophy.

Paul Mitchell said...

Ole Miss is number one by far! They also occupy the top ten slots. At eleven comes the Corndogs of LSU, Andy. Bammeroids are a very close third.

Andy, check out the Wiki on Crow.

Andy said...

Well, ain't that something! He and my Daddy were born one day apart. I knew they were about the same age.

Crow played at Springhill...about 45 miles from Bossier. A schoolmate/teammate of my Daddy's (Tooter Teague...I grew up next door to his Momma & Daddy...they were like another set of grandparents to us kids) played at A & M with Crow. He later became a naval aviator, and ended up commanding the USS Kitty Hawk before he retired.

Crow's been a "wheel" in LA my whole life.

Andy said...

BTW, Crow's just one day older than you, too!

And I gotta go with you on Ole Miss...stinkin' Klan...

Paul Mitchell said...

There ain't no Wiki page on Ol' Tooter, you should make one. Matter of fact, you should make one for your deddy, too. You would if you were a good boy.

I think that it is funny that your deddy and me are the same age.

Dittos (and trittos) on the dang Klan.

Andy said...

No, you're right, there's not. But there is a lot about him on The Google.

There is a picture of Tooter, and a bit about him from when he commanded the USS Kawishiwi.

He was a good guy...crazy as hell...but I reckon it takes a little crazy to succeed in a crazy man's business.

Basil said...

"Bear" Bryant also had a winning record at Maryland, winning 72% of his games there.

Late in his career, "Bear" Bryant was asked what he'd do if he didn't coach football. He said he'd probably be dead. He coached his last game December 29, 1982, beating Illinois 21-15. 28 days later, he was dead.

When Saban dies when he isn't coaching anymore, or when they name a coaching award after him, he'll be able to be mentioned in the same paragraph with "Bear" Bryant. But not the same sentence.

Paul Mitchell said...

Yeah, Basil, I agree, but I was trying to jack up my Sunday traffic by linking Stacy McCain and No Sheeples Here. I was trying to pay attention in Basil's Link Baiting 101, but it did not work as well as I would have liked.

Andy, quit being lazy and put up that Wiki page for your deddy.

And dang, Tooter died young.

Basil said...

Oh, I certainly caught the spirit in which it was intended.

By the way, you failed to notice that I said you couldn't mention Saban and Bryant in the same sentence ... and said it in one sentence. I set 'em up for you to knock 'em down, and look at what you do. Sheesh!

Paul Mitchell said...

Oddly, I did not know as much about Burr as I thought I did until I wrote this post, too. Dang it, I hate Bammeroids, although I am now the biggest Red Elephant fan from this point until after January 7th.

Dang it, I noticed that contradiction!!!

Skunkfeathers said...

Paul can "bash" the best and worst of them with anyone, but you just 'know' the "bash" is faux when it's a team from the SEC.

The 'Bammeroids should be playing William & Mary in the BsCS WTF Bowl, instead of in prissy Pasadena. Only then can a true #1 be determined (Barry will probably get the rating for having watched the damned game...)

Andy said...

Yeah TD, Tooter did die young.

He lived hard, and drank harder...cirrhosis of the liver.

Anonymous said...

BTW...Saban did not coach at Michigan. He coached at Michigan State. That is kind of like mixing up Alabama and Auburn.

Paul Mitchell said...

Nope, Michigan and Michigan State are the same school. They are literally in the Big 10(11)!

For all practical purposes, they are both irrelevant to college footbaw and working there does not count toward college footbaw corching experience.

(Dead) Tommy5 said...

You are dead wrong about the bammeroids. They are already talking about next years polls, yes bama is no. 1.