Tuesday, February 16, 2010

A Day in the Life

It is not difficult to figure out where my loathing of government services stems. This just happened a minute ago.

Me: (listening to the ringing for an extended time.)

Her: City of Jackson Permit Department?

Me: I have a couple of code questions I need answered.

Her: Hold for a moment.

Me: Thank you.

Phone: Minute upon minute of hold music performed by a three year old with a wooden spoon upon the bottom of a metal pot......

Me: (hang up.)

Me: (listening to the ringing for an extended time.)

Her: City of Jackson Permit Department?

Me: Yes, I just called to ask a couple of code questions and was put on hold for an extended amount of time.

Her: Yes, I am sorry, sir, I was with a CUSTOMER.

Me: Help me out here, what exactly am I to you?

Her: ......

Me: I'm just kidding. May I speak with a code official?

Her: They have all gone to lunch, sir.

Me: Wow, I should have hung up at 11:00 and called right back. Being on hold for so long gave them all time to go to lunch, huh?

Her: ......

Me: ......

Her: Can I help you sir?

Me: When I call back to talk to a code official next time can you not put me on hold for twenty minutes?

Her: (Click.)

Please take the time to comment.


Red said...

Another awesome encounter with a city automaton.

Skunkfeathers said...

They'll be looking for your phone number on their caller ID system; next time, you'll be answered by a slow-leaking "inflatatary" named Windy, whose pre-recorded script will give you the option to hold with elevator music, on stay on the line with Windy, and listen to her squeakily leak air into your ear.

And your fees will pay for her inflation.

Nice to know that (Un)civil servant in Jacktroit are no diff than they are here in CO.

Paul Mitchell said...

In defense of the City of Jackmalia, when I called back this afternoon, they were very helpful and prompt. Of course that does NOT replace the skull that I coughed up in anger this morning.

Basil said...

Me; Lunch? Where did they go? I was gonna pick me up a sammich anyways, and I'll just talk to your boss there. Want me to bring you back anything?

Paul Mitchell said...

Basil, the only problem with that scenario would be that I would have to drive into Jackson. I'm kinda low on ammo right now.

Basil said...

Well, yeah, but it'd be interesting to see how long she'll wait on you to bring her a sammich.

classicaliberal said...

I never understood the logic behind putting someone on hold when the call can be resolved immediately.

Her: Sir, they are all at lunch right now, can I take your number and have a Code Official call you back?

Instead of:

Her: Hold for a moment, (read: 20 minutes of your time wasted).

Andy said...

CL, unless someone "slips through the cracks," it is not possible to be hired by a major municipality if you can multi-task.

There are exceptions (and, we know a few). But for the most part, when you take the tests, and are interviewed, you MUST exhibit a talent for "one track." The bosses are like that, so they like that quality in employees.

Sure, the gal coulda said, "They're gone to lunch, can I take your number?" BUT, she has only one track in her brain...and must clear it before being able to handle the next train.

It's a prerequisite for most municipal jobs. It's not her fault. It's the retard that hired her...

My older brother is the Chief Health Inspector here in Bossier Parish. You should hear him ERUPT when he talks about the morons that they send him to work in his office (he can not hire, or fire...just take what the Uppers send him).

But, they passed the test, and the "one-track" Moron at the State found them well-qualified.

Paul Mitchell said...

Basil, if one of those workers thought they would get a free sammich, Hell could freeze over and then thaw out before they would budge.

CL, she put me on hold and then promptly went back to her FAILbook page and forgot about me, I'm sure. I was on hold longer enough that the folks looked up and it was 11:15, so then they had to hustle out and drink lunch in order to be back by 3:00.

Andy, y'all have HEALTH in Bossier? Whudda thunk that?

Disgruntled said...

Wait until you need medical care.

Bwhuhahahahahahahahaha :)