Thursday, August 12, 2010

Verizon, Carline, the GOP, and HUMANS

Obviously, the post title is a short list of the things that chapped my ass today.

I made the mistake of answering a questionnaire from the GOP a few months ago. They contacted me in order to find out what smart people are thinking. Of course, I agreed to be part of the "Conservative" bloggers pool of talent and awesomeness for the GOP. Daily, I receive links, from the GOP, to some of the dumbest shit you have ever read. Seriously, it is like their entire mission is to become obsolete and never win another election in the future. And today...they sent me a blind link to a 240 megabyte PDF file. I clicked it because I thought that they were not F'ing morons. Who the Hell is stupid enough to send someone a link to a PDF that damned big? Even more amazing, how the Hell did they even MAKE a PDF that big.

Needless to say, it locked up my computer with my AutoCad running as I was detailing a brick ledge on a garage. YES. I lost my work.

Then, I went to pick up the boy from school this afternoon. CARLINE, who the Hell came up with that idiocy? It is literally like Father's Day in the ghetto. The SUV directly in front of me had a funny bumper sticker, though. "Renew." On an SUV. That sat idling for 45 minutes in front of me. Windows rolled up. Air conditioning on. Do these granola crunching idiots even know what they "think?"

Then on to the Wal*Mart to MAKE GROCERIES and get some pencils. Got a text message and the NEW Droid X locked up. I wrote in my initial review post that text messaging was slow, but the phone froze and would do nothing else.

So, to Verizon I went. Frozen pizzas in the car. (Oh, and some of those steamer gay meals that chicks eat for lunch, too.)

After FREAKING signing in at Verizon, Kenny from the Cosby Show calls me back. I explain the problem to him, show him what I mean, then hand him the phone. He immediately began struggling to remove the battery cover. I became terrified IMMEDIATELY. For those of you that have an INFERIOR phone, the cover is really easy to remove. Simply push down, and slide it off. PIECE. OF. CAKE.

Kenny keeps struggling. I offer to remove it myself, he declines and before I could do anything else, he pops the cover off with a screwdriver. Then he struggles to remove the battery and finally pops it out with the screwdriver, too.

He then proceeds to do what he called a HARDBOOT, but what in fact he did was REMOVE THE PARTITION and formatted the drive. He even scrubbed the freaking SD card. Data? AW, FUCK THAT, HOSS. Finally, I just snatched the phone and FLED.

After many attempts to restore the OS on the phone, the technician on the phone simply gave up. They apologized profusely and I shall have a new Droid X on Friday. The testing of the phone shall START OVER then. Personally, I think that there was something defective on the phone because of how slow the messaging was, but I'll find out for sure, FRIDAY.

Anyhoo, in the interim, I am back on the all dependable MotoRazr V3, again. Dude, why did I ever ditch that sweet, sweet phone? (One minor problem though. They forgot to enable my internet on this phone, so I cannot get e-mail while I am away from the comprooter. You think five hundred bucks is a legitimate credit since their store "tech" wiped my data?)

Please take the time to comment.


Paul Mitchell said...

Oh, there is and believe it or not, I have some in the medicine cabinet!

innominatus said...

We may be in different industries but we have to put up with a lot of the same kinds of crap. My customers bring me the stupidest files the want engraved. Giant PDFs and TIFFs and blurry JPGs. Gack. And Verizon pizzed me off so bad that I've given up on cell phones. I haven't had one since January.

Now look what you've done! I was in a good mood a few minutes ago and now I'm PO'd enough to go down to the espresso shop and beat a total stranger. :)

Paul Mitchell said...

Innominatus, go sit in carline for a minute. You'll lose it, totally.

Skunkfeathers said...

Now I see what the bat comment was about...

Andy said...

Yeah, I'm with Skunks, I was kinda in the dark about the baseball bat thing.

Dude, you really had one sporty day there! I know the Droid thing sucked, but it's probably best that you get a good losing all your stuff, though.

Yeah, the Republicans have a special team of thinkers on staff hired to devise new and inventive ways to piss people off, and blow quite possibly the greatest political opportunity of the last half century. And, they're doing a dang good job.

Skunkfeathers said...

Now I see what the bat comment was about...