Thursday, November 29, 2007

Let McGwire In, Now!

Since everyone is scared that all of the juicing has ruined sports and baseball in particular, I thought that I would post a link to THIS article. The one thing that I always think about is that surprisingly enough, we have only had penicillin in our (White People's) medicine cabinets since after World War II, we still have no cure for cancer, but plenty of things cause it, and the AIDS stuff is still killing folks.But, scientists HAVE figured out some kind of medicinal formula to make Mark McGwire slam the baseball into the stratosphere. And Barry, don't get me started on Barry. You can only imagine the underground, clandestine cave laboratory where they brew up the concoctions that make him awesome. But know that A-Rod just found a magic lamp and used one of his wishes to become who he is. That IS cheating.

Just to give you another medicinal frame of reference, Tigecycline was just approved for the market in 2005 by the FDA. This was the FIRST drug that was effective in battling Staphylococcus aureus or golden staph, the most common cause of staph infections and toxic shock syndrome. Damn, I'm smart.

Just think of the possibilities IF you could shoot up and be good at sports. That would mean that Eckstein MIGHT, I said MIGHT, be able to shoot something in his ass and MAKE himself good at baseball. The possibility of that happening is as minuscule as me putting on a special cape and being able to fly. Okay, much, much lower than me being able to fly.

If you will recall, I stumbled through a post a couple of years back about my opinions regarding performance enhancing drugs which I will condense here. I want to tune in to the combines and hear a scout say this, "You know, he is pretty quick, a 1.1 forty time is decent. But he IS only seven feet ten inches tall and six hundred pounds. I just think he's too small to play defensive back."

Anyhoo, hold a special meeting of the dumbest humans in the world and have a special ceremony to put McGwire in the Hall. Do it now or I am coming to get you.