Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Hooray for France! The Idiot Update!

I am going to go W-A-Y out on a limb to say that France Travel Information dot com might be a little lax in their keywords for attaching articles regarding their cesspool of a country. In case you have never been to France, skip it and go to Vicksburg or Philadelphia, Mississippi instead. They are much nicer and don't smell like rotting corpses even though Vicksburg is nestled on the banks of the mighty Mississippi River and Philadelphia is in the KONETREE. (Shit, I am from Mississippi and I don't even know how to spell "country" like we supposedly say it.)

I find stupid people to be very amusing. Needless to say, I have the opportunity to laugh a great deal because I am never far from a moron. The old saying goes, "You can't swing a dead cat without hitting an idiot."

Luckily, from August 25-28, 2008, we will know where quite a few morons will be. Avoid Denver at all costs on the weeks sandwiching those dates, some might be early or late because they cannot tell time too well. Plus, it will take a damn month to get the smell outta Denver. Can you imagine what the odor of one million pairs of seven year-old Birkenstocks smell like? I shudder.

Anyhoo, I am heading to Oklahoma tomorrow to hang out with Bean and to pin on her 1Lt on Friday. I am planning on cooking and taking photos of the groceries. The Mayor is having or has had a barbeque contest thingy at this blog. This shall be the highlight of my life, sir. We are also probably going camping over the weekend if weather permits. She's a girl and would probably bitch too damn much if we were trapped by a torrential downpour and everything got wet. (not to mention that there are ooo-koodles of snakes in the area and I wouldn't want her to see a grown man start throwing a hissy-fit if he had to kill one. I. DO. NOT. LIKE. SNAKES.)

I have also pretty much decided to start my very own political party. I am planning on calling it, "The Party of Smart People." Pretty pithy, huh? Membership is very, very exclusive and there WILL be a test. Of course, we will never win any elections because there are probably only twenty or so people that qualify or that I would even let in the damn party, so basically, it's just a group of folks that are going to meet once a year to bitch about how stupid everyone else is. Sounds like much fun, huh?

I am trying to come up with the rules for our party and I needs me somes hepp. And yours to the comments.

Please take the time to comment. Our party needs rules, baby.


Marie Reed said...

here is a putrid post for you... what do you know it's about france:) i can smell the stink bomb of a blog entry from here...

your blog is fresh and made me smile. Thanks for that you big meanie!